CHAPTER 56

Corin woke with a smile on Sunday morning, the vision of what he was about to do imprinted on his mind.

A cold breeze pushed through his open bedroom window and ruffled his hair as if confirming his plan. He put his hands behind his head and stared out the window at the dusty blue Colorado skies. It wouldn’t be easy. But it was right.

He wouldn’t leave till late afternoon. Sunset was the ideal time to do it. Fewer people if any would be there at dusk, and it was an action to take in solitude.

As he pulled out of his driveway and headed east on Highway 24, Corin glanced at the clock. He should reach the lake in less than three hours, which would leave him at least an hour of daylight. Plenty of time to do whatever he needed to do to get ready—even though he didn’t know what that might be.

Maybe he needed to thank God for Shasta’s return. Maybe grieve the loss of Nicole. Maybe work through the pain of Tesser’s betrayal and contemplate the loss of his relationship with Tori. Maybe he needed to do nothing.

His cell rang.

Shasta. A smile grew on Corin’s face, at first as thin as a strand of silk, then into a full-tooth grin. He didn’t pick up; it felt too good simply seeing that number come up on his phone and watch it.

Restoration.

A few minutes later he called Shasta back.

“Are you on the road?” his brother asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you headed anywhere interesting?”

“Extremely. I’m going on an adventure.”

“I thought you were going to dance less on the edge from here on out.”

“I am.” Corin slipped his sunglasses on against the sun pouring through his windshield. “Today’s journey isn’t about pushing physical extremes. It’s about internal ones.”

“Interesting. What are you going to do?”

When it was over he would definitely tell Shasta. Corin hoped it would be the final piece of his healing, and he wanted to explain it to his brother in detail. “I’d love to tell you all about it, but not until it’s done.”

“Then join us for Thanksgiving this Thursday.”

“You’re on.”

“But before you agree, I need to let you know there’ll be a special dish only for you on the table.”

“What’s that?”

“On the mountain the day of the accident? You said, and I quote ‘If after we’re done, if you don’t agree it was the absolute right call to do this, I’ll eat one of my gloves.’ I told you I’d hold you to that.”

Corin smiled. Shasta was joking about the day of the accident? Healing had indeed come.

“I’ll bring my special knife and fork.”

“Don’t worry; it’ll be slathered in my special gravy.”

Something inside Corin snapped into place. He hadn’t doubted he would be seeing Shasta often but to hear him ask about Thanksgiving, his voice full of passion, and joking with him for the first time in ten years stirred an emotion Corin hadn’t felt since before the accident. One of belonging. The feeling of being connected once again to the one person he’d shared his entire life with, and had never stopped dumping his heart out to.

Mile marker five whizzed by on his right. Only 167 to go. “Bro?” Corin said.

“Yeah?”

Corin didn’t know what to say. “I’m glad you’re back in my life” would sound so lame.

“I, uh . . . about you and me, you know, what’s happened . . .”

“What about it?”

“Well . . . I’ve waited a lot of years for this and . . .” Corin squeezed his steering wheel. “What I’m trying to say is . . .”

Shasta laughed softly. “You’re really looking forward to Thanksgiving?”

“Right.”

“I know exactly what you’re saying. Me too.”

The grin returned to Corin’s face and spilled into laughter. Nicole was right. The greatest healing would never be physical, but a healing of the heart.

THE CLIFF DIDN’T tower over the lake as high as he remembered, but the trees were definitely taller. And still as silent as they’d been twenty-four years earlier when they’d watched him die.

Today they would be an audience again, this time to see him live. To see him cast fear aside. To see him crush it.

When he reached the base of the small cliff, he set his car keys and wallet behind a tree and covered them with a smattering of leaves.

He stared at the top of the cliff—thirty feet, maybe forty feet above him. It wasn’t easy to get this far with the brace still on his left leg. It would be harder to climb the cliff. And painful. But he didn’t care. He had to do this.

Had he made the right choice to come? Without question. But knowing that didn’t keep his body from twitching—he wasn’t sure if from fear or anticipation. Probably a tangled mixture of both. Corin wiped his hands on his khaki shorts, drew in a deep breath, and held it.

A wind rose from behind him as if cajoling him to climb. Seven minutes later he reached the top, the lake spread out in front of him like a giant piece of glass, light green color reflecting the trees and nearly cloudless skies.

The sun would drop behind the aspen trees at the far end of the lake in ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Enough time to pray. Enough time to ache inside for the loss of Nicole. Enough time to wrestle with his terror one more time.

But the fight wasn’t necessary—his fear was feeble now, lapping at the edges of his emotions only as strong as the tiny waves that lapped at the edges of the lake. He’d already won, so he brushed the past aside, closed his eyes, and let the late afternoon sun massage his face with warmth and hope.

“Thank You. For freedom. For life. For restoration.”

A few minutes later he opened his eyes and gazed at the darkening green water forty feet below.

Lake of death.

Lake of life.

It wasn’t either.

The breeze created tiny ridges in the surface and a gold leaf from the aspen trees meandered across the water toward the base of the cliff underneath him.

A few minutes later he stripped off his shirt and took off his socks and shoes, and spread his arms to the sky.

He thought again of Nicole. Of Shasta. Of Tori. Of Tesser. Of the chair. And the One who created it.

Corin squinted through the branches at the sun as it seemed to speed its descent into the tops of the trees. A moment later the last of the diamonds flitting across the surface of the lake faded.

He closed his eyes and massaged the rock he stood on with his toes. Its coolness rose into his heart. Freedom was coming, almost here.

He opened his eyes. A few more moments and it would be time.

Corin stepped to the edge of the cliff and glanced once more at the water below, then back at the sun. The breeze rippled through his hair.

Minutes left.

The sun was now only a sliver of gold against the darkening sky.

Only seconds left.

He smiled.

A moment later the last vestige of light vanished into the branches.

Corin took a last look at the surface of the water, closed his eyes, and jumped.