Rolling over in bed, I picked up my phone and saw my mom was calling.
I hit Decline, like I had been since Kash told me she and Peter were sleeping together. I didn’t know how I felt about that. I didn’t know if I could feel a certain way, so I was avoiding. Chrissy would be able to spot me being fake in two seconds, so avoiding was the better option.
And rolling the rest of the way out of bed, I didn’t have long.
Three days ago, Kash had lunch with Victoria, so I was also avoiding her and her minions.
I was avoiding Matt, too. Or I was avoiding Naveah.
I stayed in the apartment all weekend and I hacked. I studied. I did coding. I was in computer heaven.
Melissa called on Saturday night to invite me over to Liam’s for pizza and the latest gamer console that had come out. Dax and the guys were in their own heaven, but I didn’t go. I didn’t want to ask if Hoda was attending and I didn’t want to put them in the situation where they felt they had to choose one over the other. So, again, I was avoiding.
The only person I wasn’t avoiding was Kash, and that was because he came home after lunch. He had a dark and intense look in his gaze as he made his way through the apartment. He picked me up, took me to bed, and he laid claim to me for the rest of the day. The way he was doing it was as if he needed to either brand me into his skin or brand himself into mine. I wasn’t altogether complaining, since he made me see stars three times that day.
This life we had was working out just fine by me.
He was a workaholic. So was I. So he’d go and work. I could do the same.
He’d come back in the middle of the night, wake me with his mouth between my legs, and I was purring within the hour.
But it was Monday now and I checked my phone right before hopping into the shower. Melissa.
Today is Peter Francis day! Are you excited?
A second buzz.
I mean, you probably aren’t since he’s your dad and all, but we’re excited. I can already feel the group buzzing. That’s how it always is whenever someone from Phoenix Tech comes in. Oh hey. You want me to grab you coffee? I was going to stop at Bucks since it’s a treat day for us.
Today was Peter Francis Day.
Jesus. Shit.
I raked a hand over my face.
I wasn’t ready for this day, but I typed back.
Me: Whatever that has the most espresso. I don’t care. Just load it up.
Melissa: On it! I know exactly what to get you. See you at school!
The!! All the!! So many!!
I was already hoping this day was done and I hadn’t gotten into the shower yet.
When I got to school, I got a surprise. I was invisible.
I loved it.
People did not give one crap about me.
Melissa hadn’t exaggerated, which was also a nice surprise.
They were buzzing. There was extra energy in almost everyone, professors, even Busich and Goa, as I spotted both in the hallways. Like everyone else, they didn’t blink an eye at me. Not once. There was extra security in the hallways. I recognized some from the Chesapeake Estate, but a few had on Hawking University apparel, so I was assuming the university had kicked in with its own security, too.
When I walked into the computer lab, Melissa shrieked. She almost flew across the room to me, my coffee in hand. “Here,” she breathed, pushing the cup to me. “Have you seen him yet?”
My phone had buzzed a few more times this morning.
Kash checking in, like he usually did.
Another call from my mom.
There were two texts from Peter.
I’m going to your class today. Did you want to ride together?
And
I’d like to speak with you before your class. Wait for me outside.
That’d been it.
I hadn’t replied to the first one because I didn’t get it until I was halfway to the university. And the other … I murmured something to Melissa. I didn’t know what it was, but it appeased her and she went back to her computer.
I sought out our instructor, told him Peter’s request, and he nodded. “Yes. Yes, indeed. Go and wait. We’re going over a few items before he comes in, but I’m sure you’ve already read them, so you won’t miss a thing.”
Like my advisor, my instructors were quick to realize I was ahead in the class. I knew word got around among the professors about my photographic memory, and after the first week of watching, making sure I didn’t take that gift for granted and that I read ahead, and read ahead a lot, all of them eased up on me. Not that I’d been worried. But there was a stereotype of gifted people purposefully pissing away their talent.
I wasn’t going to do that. Ever.
I’d lived on the other side, with a single mom who worked double shifts four out of seven nights a week. She worked. She suffered. She sacrificed.
Setting my things down at my normal computer, I took my coffee and phone and went to the hallway to wait.
Hoda was coming in as I was leaving.
We both stopped.
“Oh.” Hoda’s surprise closed down, her eyelids shuttering. “Sorry.” Liam was coming in right after her.
He stopped, stared at me, a slow blink. “Sorry about being an ass Friday night.”
“You weren’t an ass to me.”
“It was your man’s place. Your brother I was mouthing off to.” He crossed his arms over his chest and gazed down to the floor. His jaw clenched. “I’d be massively stupid to piss off the Francis family. A guy like me, I don’t look like a computer person. I look like a jock. I was a jock. I was supposed to go pro, until I blew my knee out in a basketball injury. Thank fuck it happened early in my undergrad so I was able to process and get smart. Computers are the only other thing I’m good at, so I don’t want to fuck up my future a second time.” That tic again from his jawline. “I’m sorry. Can you relay that to your man and your brother?”
“Kash didn’t pay attention to you on Friday. He knows you exist. He knows everyone in the room behind us. But what you did Friday night didn’t even filter in with him. He’s got bigger opponents to demolish. I’m not saying that to be a dick. Just reality.”
Liam grinned at the word demolish.
“And as for Matt … He liked you.”
His grin vanished. “You serious?”
I nodded, sighing a little. “Matt’s got a warped idea of fun. You made that night fun for him.”
“He’s got his eye on Melissa.”
“He does.” It was what it was. “I tell him to back off and he’ll take it as a challenge. It’s gotta run its course. All I can say.”
He nodded, his eyes thoughtful. “I get that.” He squinted at me, his head cocked to the side. “That mean we’re going to see more of your brother?”
“Yeah.” I grinned.
He grinned, too. “Then I better figure out how to handle a future billionaire playboy.”
My stomach shrank a little at that phrase, but it was true.
It was something that’d been on my mind, but I hadn’t been really giving it much attention. Money. Matt, Seraphina, Cyclone, They all had trust funds set in place. I knew Matt was already getting money from one of his. Peter had money. He had a lot of money. But there’d been no mention of any of that money coming to me.
I didn’t know if I wanted to broker that conversation. I didn’t know if I even wanted any of his money.
But I grew up poor. Both Chrissy and I were staying in places where we weren’t paying the bills. We were getting access to transportation, food. We could pick up a phone and call for anything to be delivered to us. But it wasn’t our money.
That meant something to me, and I knew without even talking to my mom that it meant something to her. I didn’t know how she was handling it, but she had a job she could go back to. Thinking of that, I didn’t know what she was doing. I should know this, but the thought of talking to her about it made my head start swimming. Waves of pressure forced me back down and I gave up the thought.
As soon as I did, I was able to break the surface again. I didn’t feel like I was drowning.
That brought me back to me.
Anything could happen.
Kash could decide he suddenly didn’t want me. I could get cast out. Chrissy could get cast out. Peter could decide he didn’t want us in the family after all.
These were all probably not going to happen, but plan for the end of the world. That’s what Hayes women did, because we’d had a few brushes with the end of the world.
My pride wouldn’t let me ask about money. I didn’t feel right with that option.
So that meant option two. I needed to get a job.
“Bailey.”
I sucked in my breath. I hadn’t realized he was there, until I saw my father striding down the hallway toward me. Guards were positioned at the ends of our hallways, with a few standing between him and me. People, other students, other professors, other staff came out and stood there, watching a legend in their world walk by them.
I got it.
There was still a little of a fangirl inside of me. She’d been in there since I was little and I grew up worshiping Peter Francis, like everyone else here. He had opened so many doors in our world.
Now that I knew he was my father, and he was sleeping with my mother, it clicked in. I knew what my feelings were on that matter.
He drew abreast and I shared those feelings. “Don’t hurt my mother.”
He stopped abruptly, his face tightening. He smoothed down his tie. “What?”
“I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. It’s why I’ve been ducking her calls. But now I know. I’m worried, and I’m feeling some daughter claws coming out. I know you’re sleeping with Chrissy. Kash said it won’t work and that Chrissy knows the score. The score being that you’re weak when it comes to women. Do not hurt my mother. Just don’t.”
Peter’s gaze skirted around us and he stepped closer. “Bailey.”
I moved back, but I lowered my voice. I didn’t want this spread, either. “Let her go if you’re not serious about her.”
My throat was burning.
I didn’t want to question why my throat was burning.
He straightened. “What if I am serious about her?”
“Then go to therapy. Get your problem in check and never hurt her.” I held up a finger. “That’s the key part of this whole thing.”
His face was still tight, but his eyes softened. “Okay. I will.”
The burning eased up.
“Just like that? You give in? You’re going to therapy?”
His eyes zeroed back on me. “If you go, too.”
“What?” I took a step back, hitting the wall behind me. I hadn’t seen this turn coming.
“I’ll go to therapy if you go back to therapy, too.”
My throat started burning again. “Is that why you wanted to see me? To tell me to go to therapy again?”
“No. I wanted to talk to you about the internship at my company. I can’t offer it to you, since you’re my daughter.”
Damn. Dammit. That hurt more than I thought it was going to.
I averted my eyes. “That makes sense.” Because of course it did. Of course. I’d been foolish to think for a brief second that I was a shoo-in. There hadn’t been a lot of thought put into it. A lot of other things had been happening, but one time I’d considered it.
I shouldn’t have.
Just like that, I was back to the first few years. Always applying for a job or an undergrad internship with Phoenix Tech and never getting approved. They gave me scholarships, but no job. No commitment.
I still wasn’t good enough.
I wasn’t looking at him, but I muttered, “Okay. That’s fine. I can get an internship somewhere else.”
He didn’t say anything.
I jerked my head up, still not fully seeing him. “We done here?”
He flinched.
I saw that.
His face got a twisted look on it, and he spoke funny. “I guess. I’d like to have lunch with you. You haven’t been around lately. Ser and Cy miss you.”
I flinched this time. “I miss them, too.” But Payton was there.
“I do have another matter I need to talk to you about, but we can do that at lunch. You’ll have lunch with your old man?” Peter’s eyes warmed.
He meant to be teasing, but the pain still sliced me.
“I’ll have lunch with my old man.”
He smiled. “Good. I’m looking forward to it.”
It truly was Peter Francis Day.
We walked into that room and the lesson stopped midspeech. I’d started to get used to the attention. I hadn’t realized until just then, but it barely fazed me when all eyes came to Peter and me. He had a hand on my shoulder, a loving smile on his face, and he squeezed briefly before walking to the front of the lab. The instructor was all smiles and welcoming. Everyone was welcoming, even Hoda, though she was more reserved than the others.
Dax. Shyam. They were gazing at my dad as if he were their dad.
He gave a speech, one that was motivating and moving all at the same time. He talked about a few new programs he’d been key to creating and how Phoenix Tech was hoping to work on even better programs in the next year. He talked about how they were close, and they had exciting new opportunities as well. Everyone was aware they employed undergraduate interns. I knew this. He was excited to announce that they not only had a slot for their usual graduate internship but actually had slots for two graduate interns.
“As I’m aware you know, we always reserve a graduate spot for a Hawking student. This year, that’s the same plan.” He extended a hand toward me. “And I want to make sure to clear any confusion. We’ll not be offering one of those internships to my daughter, Bailey. What else I want to be clear on is that there are two spaces open, but only one is reserved for a Hawking student. That means the other could also go to a Hawking University student or it could go to someone from the other graduate programs in the nation. This is a first for Phoenix Tech, but I am very excited to see the entries.”
He remained, answering questions.
It was explained that our final project in the class would be our application for the internship. We were told to download the instructions, and when I clicked on my link, a separate attachment loaded. It was a note to speak to my instructor at the end of the day, since I would have different guidelines for the final project.
While everyone was going over their own instructions, Peter waited in the back. We were released to start working, but it was really an unofficial option for a one-on-one with Peter Francis.
My classmates took the opportunity.
I sat.
Liam turned in his chair by me. “It’s amazing that your dad stuck around all morning.”
I grinned at him. “You’re spending time with Melissa.”
He winked before he got serious. “Is this weird for you? Him being your dad and all, and such a big inspiration to everyone here?”
I considered it, glanced around, saw evidence of how he was inspiring.
I shook my head. “No, because I’m one of you guys. He was my hero until I found out he was my father.”
“He’s not anymore?”
I was eyeing my dad and shrugged. “It’s just different. That’s all.”
“Sucks though, you can’t be considered for an internship.”
I stopped eyeing my dad and turned back to my computer. My back was turned to the rest of the room. “Yeah. Sucks.”
My stomach churned with how much it sucked.
Liam kept on. “Thought for sure, since they said there’d be two openings, one would go to you.”
I had, too.
My shoulder was stiff, but I still shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ll go somewhere else. It’s all good. It’s better if I earned it, not had it given to me.”
“You know…” He had lowered his voice, leaning even closer.
I looked over.
His gaze was knowing. “I’ve seen your work. Sitting next to you, it’s hard not to watch you. You do it almost seamlessly. Don’t break a sweat, and your work is quality. Why he won’t let you into Phoenix Tech is stupid. Your dad ain’t that much of a genius if he lets you go somewhere else. I know you think none of the students know, but I noticed. I know Dax has noticed. He’s asked questions about you. Hoda, too.”
“Hoda?”
His grin was knowing, too. “Why do you think she’s so jealous? She thinks you got all the breaks. Iconic father. Genius brain. Looks. Your guy. People like you. But now she knows you have actual talent.”
They don’t know.
None of them know.
The summer.
The break-in.
A hand over my mouth.
A whisper in my ear: “They’re going to think I raped you…”
A rushing sound was filling my ears.
A pounding was starting behind my forehead.
My vision was starting to blur.
None of them knew.
Liam’s voice was beginning to circle around me.
She didn’t know shit. Neither did he. None of them did.
None of them knew shit.
That’s what I knew.
None of them knew shit.
That’s what I learned.
None of them knew shit.
“You are a problem…”
“Jesus! Bailey!”
None of them knew shit.
“Bailey. Honey.” That was my dad.
“Once you’re gone…”
Fingers were on my hands.
None of them knew shit.
They were trying to pry me away from something.
None of them knew shit.
My stomach was churning.
Churning.
Churning.
None of them knew shit.
“Bailey! Stop it.”
I was ripped away and yanked out of whatever I was in.
I was being held back.
Two of my nails were split down, half off my finger. I was shaking, and my hands were completely white except for the blood. White and red. I was barely standing.
I looked up. Peter was holding me, his eyes concerned. “Bailey—”
I shoved out of his arms, grabbed my bag, and hightailed it out of there.
I was in the hallway.
I was running almost blindly for the bathroom.
I needed to get ahold of myself. Clear my head. Clean my hands. I hit the door running and collapsed inside. I couldn’t go to the sink. I was on the floor. On my knees. I was shaking so much, I couldn’t stand up.
I kept trying.
I’d push, and I’d fall.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Then I gave up, except I pushed back so I was blocking the door. There. Curled on my side. I moved into a ball and I let the storm hit.
I gave in.