“Mom.”
She glared at me as I got inside the SUV. “Don’t ‘Mom’ me. I’ve been ‘Chrissy’ for the last ten years. Don’t try to manipulate me by being all sweet and lovey.”
Yep. She was here for a fight.
And once I was settled and the vehicle was pulling forward, she started.
“You’ve been avoiding me. I don’t like when my daughter who went through a recent trauma is avoiding me, and I don’t care how big and bad your boyfriend is. A girl always needs her mama.” She turned for the window, sniffling. “Or maybe her mama needs her girl? Either way, there was a whole bunch of need happening and my girl isn’t picking up her phone.” Those eyes turned glacial again. “Stop avoiding me.”
Okay. I wasn’t going to beat around the bush, either. “I know you’re sleeping with Peter.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“You’re my mom. He’s my dad. It’s going to mess up my mind, and I avoided your calls because I didn’t know how I felt about it.”
“You know now?”
I nodded.
“Well?” Her eyebrow arched up. “You going to keep me in suspense? I had to be all ninja-like and sequester myself in your vehicle. You think that was easy?”
I hid a grin because man, I’d missed my mom.
“I don’t want him to hurt you. That’s what I decided.”
She sucked in more breath, her head rising. She blinked a few times. “Damn. Damn.” A pause. “You tell him that?”
I nodded again.
“When?”
“What?”
“When did you tell him that?”
“Uh.” I had to retrace the days to my bathroom meltdown. “Monday.”
Her eyes grew sharp. “He was here on Monday. Said you got upset. I was waiting all week for you to call, but my phone never rang. Not from you.”
“I was out all week. I didn’t go to school.”
“What’d you do?”
I frowned at her.
“Right.” She was nodding now, glancing back out the window. “You got that man of yours. With him all week. With him all the time, but I know you. I know my daughter and I know you’ve buried your head in your studies and in him. Am I right?” Her nostrils were flaring. It was costing her to say these words. “I know I’m right. I know you better than anyone.”
“Yes. You do.” I said those words softly.
“A mother knows her child. Always does, even ones that at some point had to become the adult in the relationship. Even ones who have a brain that’s special, and especially ones with a mother who is up at all hours of the night worrying because she knows, she knows that that special child can’t stop thinking about what happened to her, because she’s got a brain that’s on constant replay.” She broke, her top lip trembling. Her voice grew hoarse. “Tell me you haven’t been reliving what happened to you over and over again. Tell me that and I’ll ease up on you a bit.”
My mouth parted. “No.” That’s what she thought? I scooted forward, laying a hand on her arm. “No, Mom.”
Her hand grasped mine, holding it tight.
“You were right the first time. I buried my head in schoolwork and in Kash. And I’ve been getting to know my classmates.”
“Good.” She swiped at her cheek, sniffled, and still holding my hand in a cement grip, she looked out the window. “Good. They’re good kids?”
I knew what she was really asking. “They’re normal.”
They weren’t like Matt or Tony or Chester. Or Victoria.
“You need normal right now.”
“I’m going to the football game tomorrow.” I curved up a corner of my mouth. “That normal enough?”
She barked out a laugh, still not looking at me, my hand still in a vise grip. “You never went before. Good you’re going now. I’d like these classmates?”
I thought of Melissa. Liam.
“You would think Melissa was funny and you’d try to get me to date Liam.”
A second laugh barked from her. “Good then.” She glanced at me from the corner of her eye. “And that’s not happening? You and this guy you think I’d want you to date?”
My smile turned soft. “No. It’s not happening. I love Kash.”
She closed her eyes, bending her head a little. “Right. You love someone whose grandfather is wealthy beyond wealthy and trying to hurt his grandson. He’ll take aim through my daughter, and I’m not okay with that. I’m not okay with that!” Her eyes opened and they were piercing me. “I didn’t keep you all my life without having a father only to have you smack in the line of fire. I am not okay with that.”
“Mom.” My throat was seizing. Emotions were clogging it up.
“I’ll leave him. You leave yours. We’ll go back to Brookley. The hospital’s waiting for me to decide if I’m staying or coming back. You can remain at Hawking, like the original plan, but we’ll forget them. We can still do it.” Her voice was trembling. Her hand was shaking. “We can still go back. Let’s go back, honey. Let’s go back to being normal.”
So I wasn’t the only one struggling with the changes.
But it was too late.
She saw the look in my eyes and closed hers again. Her hand let go of mine, and she faced the window. “Right.” Her head hung down. “Right.”
There were no other words that could take away what she saw in mine.
She was scared. She wanted to run, but I couldn’t. I loved Kash too much. I loved my siblings too much.
I scooted over to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her to my chest.
I cradled my mom like she was my child, and she wrapped an arm around me, hugging me just as tight. I rested the side of my head against hers, and as her eyes remained closed the rest of the drive, I was the one who watched the outside world passing us by.