THE GUNNY

 

Monday January 13 - 1951 CST

Two days until Turbocharger activates

 

My stomach was grumbling again. Next time I'd really have to eat more at lunch especially if I was going to be flying solo in the evenings. Funny thing happens as you get older, when you're bored and got nothin' to keep yourself busy with you get hungry more often. It's why my pa's so fat and if I didn't watch myself I'd be following in his footsteps.

The natural remedy to that was to take care of my guns just like I take care of my body. With the radio tuned to the local oldies station—because kids today have godawful taste in music—I settled into field stripping and cleaning my personal weapons.

First off came the M79 grenade launcher we'd used on the tree monster earlier today. Granted cleaning and maintenance on that thing was so easy any frickin' jeep private could do it. But we'd used it in the field and I didn't want to leave any funk inside the tube. That's how you get corrosion.

About halfway through cleaning my 1911 I heard a serious pounding come from the motel room door. Whoever it was beat that wooden door like a rented mule. They wanted to be heard over the pounding the rain was dishing out on the thin roof.

I wondered for a moment who it could be because I'd given the Colonel my key, so it couldn't be him bringing back dinner. Then the door beater announced himself. "Sheriff department. Open the door!"

Now that wasn't exactly who I expected but it wasn't a surprise either. The sheriff probably had some more news for us. Seeing as this sounded like one of his deputies—a deputy who might not understand why I had a grenade launcher and a disassembled 1911 on my bed—I folded back the sheet over the guns before answering the door.

When the pounding continued I hollered out to them. "Coming! Gimme a sec."

But when I opened the door I didn't see a uniform and a badge. Instead there was some punk in a black hoodie and balaclava like some urban ninja…and a baton flying down at my head.

In my infantry days we had a saying we used with the new kids. Action beats reaction. It's a pithy way of explaining that if someone is already attacking you when you aren't ready then you're in a world of hurt. That's because first your mind's gotta realize what's happening, then understand that it is indeed an attack against you, then it has to decide how to react, then finally you can react. So if an assailant is already attacking you then you're four steps behind.

That son of a gun with the baton knocked me sillier than a car full of clowns. By the time the world slowed its spinning enough for me to realize what was happening I was on one knee in the center of the room and the guy was coming at me with another black clad urban ninja coming in behind him.

My first impulse was to go for my 1911. Then my second thought was that it was pointless because that 1911 was in pieces on my bed. I knew better than to ever let myself go one second without a viable weapon within arm's reach but as I tried to recall where that was in the moment the first ninja's baton came around.

When you get into a fight your brain goes to all kinds of strange places. It's something we learn early on as a Marine rifleman, that's why we train so much. That training has to take over while your mind wanders off to la-la land during a gun fight. And that's what was happening now. Things were moving so fast I didn't have seconds to recall where my next gun was.

The baton hit me on the shoulder and then withdrew for another strike. That was when I noticed it wasn't really a baton. More like one half of a wooden flag pole like what we used to hold the battalion colors. Ninja number two had his own improvised weapon. It was a bike lock on the end of a chain and he spun it in a big circle like it was a propeller.

They were moving to get me flanked while my mind raced to remember where I'd put my spare gun. Keep in mind this all probably happened in under two seconds but it felt like an eternity. I finally told myself "Kelly, unless you want to let these two punks kill you right here and now. You gotta stop observing this like it's a damned movie and get in the fight."

That was the voice of experience talking and it was full of wisdom. I charged the first mall ninja. Even though I didn't have a weapon in my hand I remembered that a Marine is a weapon. He certainly didn't see that coming and we collided like two cars driving down the same side of the road. As he fell backwards with me latched onto him I noticed the third ninja coming through the door.

This was a little shorter than the rest and had long hair hanging out of the hood of the black sweater. It was obnoxiously bright and red. Not like the kind you see on pretty red heads. This was fake red, like what you see on the side of fire trucks and on the heads of pretentious city women that think all men beat their wives. That ninja squealed with a higher pitched woman's voice when her black pajama boyfriend fell into her. All three of us landed in a pile in the doorway.

Now Mister Ninja was on the defensive and it was time for him to react to my action. I pounded a right fist into his masked face and followed up with my left. When my right came down a second time I felt the satisfying crunch of some bone give way to my knuckles. The woman was screaming obscenities underneath us but I didn't care. My attention was on putting the first guy out of the battle.

The voice of reason spoke in my head again. It said "Don't get tunnel vision. That's how you get flanked."

And again it was right. I'd completely forgotten about the second ninja. But he had not forgotten about me. When I glanced over my shoulder to see where he went all I saw was the blur of a bike lock on the end of a chain. Then a whole bunch of stars.

My room's wall jumped out at me and slapped me across the face like I had just insulted its mother. Then the carpet came up with a follow on smack. The world spun and I found myself face down unable to stand up. Everything just spun and I felt tingly all over.

The lady ninja was shouting all sorts of unladylike things and I saw the first ninja getting up whining and moaning. He pulled down his mask and all I could see was blood pouring from his nose and mouth. That brought me a small smile. I'd gotten him good.

He knew it too. As I got to my knees and grabbed a hold of a chair to help me get up, the ninja with the bleeding face planted his foot into my rib cage. Again the world spun and I found myself flat on my back with another ninja winding up a field goal. I got my hands over my head just in time to keep the second ninja's fake boots from splitting open my skull

The impact cracked into my elbows and I felt the burning of forming bruises. Me and bruises were old friends so I didn't mind too much. And I was glad he wore those fake boots that suburban kids liked to wear because they thought it made them look tough. Real work boots like what my Pa had at the factory might have actually broken something.

Glass broke as a fourth black clad thug came through the room's lone window. Then bleeding ninja joined in on the dog pile. As they were busy kicking the stuffing out of me my mind took yet another one of those strange detours that happens when someone is trying to kill you. It had to do with the faded red high top sneakers the bloodied ninja wore. As they hammered into my rib cage again and again I was reminded of boots. And in my own boot was a backup gun. A little .38 snub nose I liked to carry for emergencies.

As my hand came away from my face I caught a nasty punch to the cheek and more stars joined in to line dance with the ones from earlier. My right hand gripped the little .38 and my left put a death grip on one of those red high tops to keep him from getting away.

BANG!-BANG!-BANG!-BANG!

The shouting and struggling instantly ended, replaced with the mewling moans of the dirtbag I'd just ventilated. The other three were so shocked by the sudden burst of fire they all stood wide-eyed like deer uncertain of what to do.

I'm not sure what happened next because it was at this point that the stars overcame my sight. Then they went away leaving nothing but darkness.