Chapter 6

 

Unforeseen

 

~

 

I should have planned better before running off from my dorm without the necessities to catch a shower in the locker room where our run ends. Now that my adrenaline has worn off, and Sandy and I worked it to pass Ian just for fun, I’m done. The extra steps needed to get into hot water and clean clothes at my dorm across campus are easing the dread into my tired muscles and mucking up my mind. While everyone else is showering, I start my slow pace across the eerily quiet campus, the silence apparently another thing I didn’t notice on my burst of sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated faux high.

The fog easing down from the mountains to wrap around our feet while we were running has swept away, leaving only the wet dew to kiss the sharp blades of grass. Feet echo behind me, sneakered feet, cautious versus determined feet. Not Derrick’s feet. The fact that I know what it sounds like to be pursued by him curdles my stomach while easing my shoulders away from my ears. The steps stutter. Hesitating.

“Do you mind if I walk with you?”

Shan’s voice sends smooth words, like warm, teasing wax throughout my mind before dripping down into my instantly tingly hidden spots. Thank goodness for this bulky sweatshirt and curse my surging hormones.

I realize I haven’t turned around; instead, my feet choose to keep on going. Shan must think I’m ignoring him, so I will myself to stop moving, taking deep breaths to prepare to face him, to see his eyes, the eyes that widened when they saw me across the screen.

Managing to slow to the pace of a painted Vegas statue performer, I meet him with a shaky smile. “Hi, and um, yes, sure. I mean, I’d like that.” Oh God, April, get it together!

“Join the early risers’ run this morning? Don’t think I’ve seen you join that one before.”

Did his cheeks just flush?

“I mean I try to get here in the gym early on Sundays. It’s dead in the weight room, so I usually see them leave. Not you, though. You don’t usually leave with them, do you?”

His fumbling over words is easing my nerves. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was doing it on purpose, but he’s not Derrick. He’s Shan. A nice guy. A hero.

“No, you’re right, and I don’t think you’re a stalker for knowing, so don’t worry.” That’s right, nice, light and flirty. That was flirty, right? But didn’t his dad stalk his mom? Crap! God, just stop overthinking and laugh. Ugh, not that type of laugh. “I couldn’t sleep and decided to drink coffee, which I never drink, so here I am.”

Ta-da!

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep much either,” he adds after a slight pause. “Look, no one really knows about my mom here, and I don’t—”

“I’d never say anything,” I jump in, touching his arm at the same time, just now realizing how close I am to him. “It’s not my story to tell.” We’ve never been this chummy, but it didn’t feel wrong, so I didn’t shy away, for once.

His eyes move from his arm to my face and back again. “Thanks. I figured you wouldn’t. You don’t seem like that type of person.”

Now it’s my turn to let blush hit my cheeks.

We walk for a while without saying a thing. The silence is pleasant. I don’t feel the need to throw out words, and it also doesn’t seem like anything is wrong just because we aren’t talking. Birds become louder as the day warms, and we are able to spot a variety of them dashing around the campus trees and into nests in the eaves of the dorm. Everything seems right, in line with the comfort of our bodies walking side by side. His presence eases me to a state I’ve been unfamiliar with for quite some time now. It’s a sense of protection, but without suffocation.

“Well, this is me.” My words meaning two things, my home and me as a person, as we both look at the gray and brown stones of my building. “Do you still stay in campus athlete housing or did you move off campus?” I know this answer, but I don’t want to seem like an actual stalker.

“I’m still on campus. It’s the best deal for my family, and I’m closer to everything. I’m not normally much of a morning person. Sundays are different.”

The weight of his comment makes my mind spin with gnat-like questions. When did Nicole say it happened? Was it a Sunday? Oh. Yes, it was. He looks up at the door to my dorm and back to my face. His smile lights up by the colorful rising of the sun against the smattering of feathered clouds. He’s gorgeous, even more so when I can finally look into his eyes instead of stealing glances or knowing he was looking at me.

“How’s your breakfast here?”

The same as every dorm is my first thought, but why would I say something so dumb when this may be him asking to come and join me inside. My mind jolts like a spark plug at the thought of having him joining me where I’ve only invited Derrick or my girlfriends.

It’s just breakfast, April. Calm down. He wants to get to know you, and don’t you want to know him better as well?

Of course, she does, you idiot. Don’t you, April?

Oh great, now there’s three of me. That’s not going to go over well. I must look like I’m about to throw up, and I can see Shan’s face shift from one of hopefulness to this-was-a-mistake.

Hurry, say something! says my first inner voice.

Just don’t say anything stupid! Yep, that’s the new girl. She’s fun and super nice.

“It’s great, I mean every cereal you could want, and I think they actually make real eggs on Sunday. Probably because not many of us make it down here early enough,” I quip while miming the tilting back of the red Solo cup motion.

Stop that!

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“Yes, I mean no. No, I don’t mind,” I babble before taking a deep, stabilizing breath. “I’d love for you to join me.”

I don’t hold back on the loading of my tray with a full plate of eggs, bacon (kind of), and cereals of all types. The ladies helping the line, the ones who know me well enough to see the real importance of Shan next to me as we shuffle-step through the empty line, give me wide eyes when he looks away, and a few times when he doesn’t. Mae had decided to overload my plate of eggs before moving on to Shan’s, swiveling her head back and forth, resulting in fumbling of bouncy, yellow sponginess all over the counter.

If Shan notices, it doesn’t show. He is a gentleman with each “thank you” and “have a wonderful day.” I turn back as we walk away from the chattering ladies to see the many thumbs-up, and one ride-that-pony dance, which makes it tricky when I spin back around with a jiggling tray.

“They are much cooler here than in my dorm. I’m lucky to get a tablespoon of eggs at Letts Hall.”

I freeze, and he freezes, the tension ratcheting up a notch between us.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring any of that into our time together.”

Derrick’s dorm is Letts Hall. It’s townhomes for upperclassmen collegiate athletes or band members. How did I not know that they lived in the same place? Wait, why do I care?

Yeah, why do you care? He said “…our time together.” Now enjoy it!

My lips shoot out a pfft and I wave my hand at the invisible memory of that tool, Derrick. “Don’t worry about it. That’s behind me now.”

He smiles, but a mirrored crease around his eyes shows the doubt borne from his personal history with another woman who may have said the exact same words before a raging fire changed their lives forever.

I couldn’t shy away from the look hidden behind that smile, holding my own as if the joy behind it could melt away any of the worries from his mind.

Don’t ruin this, came the first voice.

Don’t let him ruin this, came my new favorite voice.

“Told you they had real eggs. It’s like a present and maybe another excuse for me to get my butt up for the Sunday runs.”

My words tug a genuine smile loose from those incredible lips—a creaseless, worry-eye free smile that eases that tremor of tension in the air from the ghost of Derrick past.

“This is a hundred times better than my usual Sunday.”

Cue my goofy, overly excited grin. “It’s a date.”

You go, girl!