Clairtangency (Clear Touch)
“If only all the hands that reach could touch.”
—mary loberg
Hold out your hand,” I said to my student Kelly.
I was teaching a workshop called Developing Your Intuition and, as is my norm, all of the students were there for hands-on practice. We had been working on meditation and tuning in to our auras and chakras all morning. We’d also connected to our other psychic senses, which had some people excelling more than others. So far there’d been a lot of laughter as well as a strong amount of doubt over being able to actually read anyone. Most of the people in the class knew that everyone was intuitive, but they didn’t necessarily believe they’d be able to tune in to each other or receive any type of messages. They wanted the quick and easy version of using their psychic senses. So, I gave it to them!
“I’m going to place an object in your palm, and I want you to try and tune in to the energy of it. What do you pick up about the object? How does it make you feel?” I continued asking Kelly questions, instructing her to keep her eyes closed.
“Don’t judge the information that is coming through. Just say it out loud and I will write down whatever you say,” I let her know.
She started to grumble, but I told her it didn’t matter what she got in the moment. We were all there to practice and it was a safe environment. What mattered was that she tried. She needed to believe enough in the possibility of psychic ability that she could be open to the process.
We were working with psychometry. Psychometry is based on the principle that all objects hold energy and that energy can be tuned in to when you hold or touch the object. Metal objects and pictures tend to hold the most energy. The impressions you receive can be garnered through all of your psychic senses. Usually, accessing clear feeling is the initial step to opening your awareness. This extraordinary sense is more readily available through touch or clairtangency.
“I can’t quite figure out what this means, but I guess I feel kind of happy and excited about it,” she said.
Her first foray into clairtangency was right on. I asked her more questions.
“Where do you think it came from? Was it a gift? How was it made? What is it?” I continued with a barrage of rapid-fire questions.
“Ha ha. I don’t know!” she answered with a nervous laugh.
“Take them one at a time. Where do you think it came from?”
“I feel like it’s somewhere warm and dry. Maybe California or New Mexico?”
“All right. Was it a gift or was it purchased?”
“I feel like the person who owns this wanted it and got it on the spot,” she meekly responded, almost as if asking a question.
“Great. And was it handmade? Made in a factory? How did it come to be?”
“I feel hands all over it, so I’d have to say it was handmade.”
“And what is it?”
“I’m getting bracelet? I think it has turquoise or something because it feels almost like Native American. I don’t know. Can I look yet?” She was getting excited now.
“Almost. What does it mean to the owner? Is it special or is it just something they had laying around? Does it mean anything?” I was trying to get as much as possible out of her.
“I think it’s special. It almost represents a turning point in her life or something. Is it yours? Can I look?” she wanted to know.
“Yes, you can look!”
When all was said and done, Kelly was able to tune in to the energy of the bracelet I had placed in her hand with her previously unrecognized clairtangent abilities. She talked about who had made it, what type of stones were present in it, what it meant to me, and more. I validated everything for her. It was mine, and I had gotten it in Arizona. It was made by Native Americans, and it was silver and turquoise. It meant a lot to me because I purchased it on the first retreat I led in Arizona; that was definitely a turning point. Though Kelly was not 100 percent accurate with everything, she was pretty darn close!
She was surprised that this exercise in psychometry helped her to tune in to her psychic abilities. Though she was not entirely pleased that she hadn’t excelled with her other intuitive senses, she was very happy that her clairtangency was kicking in.
Gather some friends together and ask everyone to bring an object. Get some paper and pens—enough for all of you to do multiple writings. Place all of the items in a bag without looking and pick one. Hold the object in your hands for a least a minute and then write down whatever you pick up about it.
How does it feel in your hand? Is it vibrating or moving or still? Does it feel hot or warm or cool or freezing? Is it old or new? Do you get any names or initials with it? Do you pick up on any locations? Do you feel any colors? Does it feel like male or female energy? Do you feel any specific person attached to it, such as grandmother, husband, sister, friend, etc.? Is it an important item? Was it given to the person as a gift or did they buy it themselves? Was it passed down through generations?
Now tune in to the owner directly. How is the overall mood of the person who owns it? Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they depressed? Are they excited? What else do you pick up about them? Do they work? Do they have children? Are they married? What do they do on a regular basis? Do you feel anyone around them from the other side? Are they comfortable? Are they financially secure?
Write down anything else you may get about the object or the person or people surrounding the object. Be sure to include even the smallest details. Remember, just because you may not understand what you are feeling doesn’t mean they won’t. What you pick up and know nothing about may mean the world to them!
Not Just Objects
Many people experience clairtangency through psychometry, but the two terms are not interchangeable. Psychometry is the reading of an object or a picture by holding it in your hand, which is a form of clairtangency. There is more fun to be had with clairtangency, however! Clairtangency, or clear touch, is also productive when touching actual people.
We are all made up of energy. Every living thing as well as every object is made of energy. Energy is essentially the capacity of a system that does work or the action of actually being at work. Psychic energy is the same thing, but it is more specific to the psychic aspect as opposed to the physical. It is this energy that we send out to the world that others can pick up on. It is also this energy that makes up our aura.
Our aura is our etheric or energetic body that surrounds us and emanates from us. Often depicted as halos or aureoles on pictures of saints, our aura actually flows out of and around every part of us. Auras change constantly based on our ever-changing moods and our physical well-being. It is also where we are able to create the energy to heal ourselves—body, mind, and spirit. In their book The Healing Power of Your Aura, Martin and Moraitis write about the curative abilities that take place in the aura, “The aura is a crucial part of healing because the aura is the place where you generate the spiritual energy to manifest health.” (Martin and Moraitis, 2006)
Radiating auric energy carries messages as well as healing properties. It sends out currents of information that the universe is able to detect and we are able to read through touch or clairtangency. Imagine all of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual characteristics, maladies, and joys streaming out of us like radio waves and these undulating torrents carry information that can be tuned in to. Well, it can.
Let’s look to the movies. The portrayal of psychics in many movies is shown by the gypsy woman with the wavy black hair, laden with scarves, a round table between her and her client, and a crystal ball or cards displayed on the tablecloth. Usually, the lights are dimmed, the atmosphere is a bit spooky, and the reader is intense. This can all be true, and you may have been to someone whose reading area is set up this way! Take it one step further; what often comes next is the holding of the hands. The fortuneteller asks to hold the sitter’s hand. Not always to read the palm, but just to get energy off of the actual person through touch.
Auras
The occasional misconception that this is how all psychics or intuitives work has some validity. This clairtangent gift, though not always like it is in the movies, is one way to get information and messages from and for a person. I often have people ask me when they sit down in my chair across from my desk, “Do you need to hold my hands or something?” after they’ve warmed them by rubbing them together.
They are not too far off. Sometimes if I have a client that I’m having a difficult time tuning in to, I will do a very quick one- to two-minute meditation and then I will have them lay their hands on mine. I think it’s a mix of the supposed ritual and the clairtangency that opens the client’s energy in order for me to then tune in to them. Sometimes it feels almost electric.
I recently held a large gallery event where about 130 people came hoping to connect in some way to their deceased loved ones, whom I affectionately call dead people. I had tuned in to a whole bunch of spirits from the other side, ranging from children to grandparents, and they just kept banging on the door wanting to come in. This, of course, is great. It meant I was able to read for a lot of people.
“I have an S name,” I told the audience. I usually get initials right off the bat, and then comes the evidence and the rest of the name. “I feel like it’s for someone in this area.”
At that, I had about four different groups claiming the S name.
“I think it’s Stephen,” I continued.
Still, two or three people were staking their claims to the reading.
“It’s me,” said one in particular. “I had a Stephen who’s passed.”
Now, normally I don’t recall most of my readings. This was no different. I don’t remember what I told her, only that Stephen was coming through with verifiable information. Throughout my reading for that particular person, someone in the back of the room kept pointing to her friend. Melissa, whom I couldn’t identify at the time, said, “I think it’s for us.”
“Hmmm. I think you’re right, and I want to give you Stephen, but I can’t quite grasp what he’s telling me,” I told them honestly.
During the rest of the gallery event, I kept going back to that little group at the back of the room. “I know Stephen is here for you, and I know he wants me to talk to you, but I just am not getting anything else from him!”
The end of the event was upon us, and people were laughing and crying right up to the conclusion. Many had gotten a sense of peace and wanted to thank me. I was hugging and talking and hugging some more until most of the people had moved on. I was making my way to the book-signing table when Stephen’s people walked up to me. I recognized Melissa, but I didn’t recognize the two men. I had no idea if one was her husband or what the dynamic was until afterward.
I shook Eric’s hand, and then it started. “You are the one Stephen wanted to relay a message to,” I said.
“Yes,” he replied simply.
“He was your partner and he died of AIDS,” I continued.
“Yes,” he smiled.
“He wants you to know he loves you still and approves of your brand-new union,” I said.
He smiled again.
“This is your new partner,” I said, motioning toward the other man there.
He nodded.
“There’s more to it. He wants to bless your new union. He’s very happy for you and he approves,” I continued, almost trancelike.
I knew it wasn’t just another boyfriend. There was more to it. Stephen was telling me there was more to it.
“We just got married on Sunday,” Eric replied, and the tears of joy welled up in all of our eyes.
I hadn’t been able to connect to Stephen to properly channel his message to Eric and his new husband during the gallery. I wasn’t able to share his love until I shook Eric’s hand. The turning point was the contact. Through psychic touch, or clairtangency, I connected to their energy. I’m glad, as I’m sure Eric is, that he took the couple of minutes to stay after the event. The only regret I have is I wasn’t able to share it with the entire gallery to amplify the love we felt coming through in that moment. Though I fully believe Stephen wanted his own private ceremony.
Clairtangency and clairsentience (see chapter four) sometimes go hand in hand, pun intended! Clairtangency is the ability to read someone or something by touching them. Clairsentience allows you to feel things about someone or something. Clairtangency can evoke those feelings while in contact with an object or a person as well. Your touching sense also involves clairvoyance and clairaudience. Touch is the means by which you’re able to connect, but you still need to receive the information. Your other clairs help out with that.
Exercise: Reach Out
and Touch Someone
Invite friends over. It has to be at least five people. Make sure you tell them ahead of time that they will be part of a psychic exercise! Invoke your circle of white light of protection around you before you start. You want to be sure only positive energy is allowed to come through.
Then, in a separate room, put two chairs facing each other and turn the light off. Close your eyes, blindfold them even, and sit in one of the chairs. Have each friend come in, one at a time. Have them sit down in the chair across from you. Put your hands out, palms down. Have them lay their hands gently on yours, light enough so you won’t recognize them, but heavy enough so you can feel their presence.
Begin telling the person sitting there everything you pick up on. It doesn’t matter how you receive the information. You may hear, see, feel, taste, or smell details about them. Try not to discount anything you receive. Just share it as you get it.
Have each person quietly leave the room and write down everything you told them. Then, do the same thing for the next person. After you are done with all of your friends, have them read over what they wrote down. Did any of it make sense to them? Did it not? How did it feel to you? Did it feel good? Did it feel bad? Scary? Exciting? Did it feel natural to you to read people when you were touching their hands? Was it helpful?
Mix it up a little bit. Have someone else take a turn with the blindfold on. How do they do? Are they accurate? How did it feel having someone else read you?
Compare notes with all of your friends. Did anything stand out when you read someone that also came up when someone else read for them? Was everything different?
My New Bed
Furniture is a gateway to psychic messages. It holds energy just as much if not more than other objects and pictures. Just imagine everything an old dining room table has to tell you—the stories it could share. Think about all of the meals spent there with family and friends. Kick it up a notch and envision all of the holidays spent around the table. Now picture the games played there and the homework done every day while eating the afterschool snack. There may have been dinner parties and victory celebrations or even school meetings held around that same table. Just imagine.
Furniture also gets passed down from generation to generation. Now all of those activities have just doubled, even tripled, with each new family. Consider all of the energy that’s surrounded and passed through that table. Now, reflect on how much more there would be if you bought the table at an antique shop! The potential energy is endless.
Frances learned about the possibilities quite by accident. She called me one day, years ago, because she wanted to come in and have a reading. She was positive she was being haunted, but she couldn’t figure out for the life of her who it could be. She knew she had lost a few people, but they were quite distant from her. She didn’t think there was any reason any of them would have come back to bother her. I asked her to meet me in my office for a session.
“I can’t take it anymore. I don’t understand why this is happening or what exactly is going on,” Frances told me.
“I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. Let’s see if we can determine what is happening. ”
I began tuning in to her energy and started picking up images involving her bedroom and nighttime.
“Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you being awakened? I’m getting the feeling that every night when you go to bed it begins. Is this what’s happening?” I asked her.
“Yes, and I can’t take it anymore! I swear it’s making me nuts. With the lack of sleep and the feeling of dead people all around me, it’s making me insane!”
“Okay. I’m getting the feeling it started about six months ago. Does this make sense?” I could feel the change in the atmosphere of the house.
“Hmmm. I think so. Now that you’re saying that, it makes total sense. What does it mean?” Frances questioned.
She had a look of sheer desperation in her eyes. It was obvious there was no way she was going to make it through this. I had to figure out a way to help her before she lost her mind.
“I’m picking up that you are very intuitive. Are you aware of this?” I asked.
“Well, I always thought I had something but never did I think I was psychic,” she responded.
“Your psychic senses have been kind of jump-started over the past six months. Something has caused this, and I think I know what it is. Are you seeing an older man, white hair, gray beard? He’s tall and thin. And a woman, a bit shorter and thicker around the middle with a white nightgown?”
“Oh my God! Yes! How did you know? That’s exactly what I get!”
“You recently acquired a new bedroom set, didn’t you? An antique?”
“That’s right …”
“About six months ago?”
“Yes, I … oh my goodness. Wait. What does this mean?”
“It means you are experiencing a haunting, though not a malevolent one. I feel like this is a residual thing. The bed you are sleeping on belonged to this older couple. They are still there, repeating their nightly rituals over and over again. You are caught in a residual haunting pattern. They are not there to hurt you, and honestly I don’t even feel they are aware of you,” I explained.
“Then why am I connecting to them if they don’t even know I’m there?”
“You are tuning in using clairtangency. Every time you get in bed you are ‘touching’ their lives. It’s through this psychic sense of touch that you are linking to their energy. I hate to say this, but you either have to do some kind of cleansing or, if that doesn’t work, you need to get rid of the bed. I think that’s their attachment. The rest of their old, your new, furniture is all right. You’re very good at tuning in using your clairtangent sense, so this won’t stop until you clear it. I’m sorry, but just know that this is not anything that will harm you. You can specifically try asking them to move on, go to the light, but because it’s residual it may need a good smudging. That alone may be enough to clear their energy and let you reclaim your new bed!”
“All right. At least I know now what’s going on. I thought I was totally losing it. My husband thought I was losing it. And I was cranky all the time from lack of sleep. Thank you so much!” Frances said, happy to finally have answers.
I explained to Frances that she could buy sage locally and burn it around the bed and even blow the smoke under the bed. This would help her, I explained, to clear the residual energy from the old couple that was living out their nightly rituals over and over again.
I heard back from her a few weeks later. She had bought the sage and cleared her bedroom, especially her bed. She was very excited to tell me she was now sleeping. No more waking up and staying awake all night. Though she obviously was still connecting through her clairtangent gifts, she wasn’t losing sleep anymore. The couple had moved on and so had she. She, actually, was now trying to tune in using her clairtangent gifts. She regularly tuned in to random objects to see what she could get. She shared that sometimes she had no idea whether she was accurate because there was no way to get feedback, but she felt she was more on point than off. Indeed, I agreed with her.
As Frances found out, antique furniture holds a lot of energy, especially residual energy. For some people, it can be very taxing and can create a hardship, or it can be very interesting. For others, it doesn’t affect them at all and they don’t even notice it. It all depends on their level of clairtangent ability. If they are fluent with their psychic sense of touch, they may only have to pick up or touch the object for it to transport them to a different dimension. Others may not quite understand exactly what it is they are tuning in to, as happened with Frances. She knew she was seeing or experiencing something, but she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was until I helped her.
Think of this exercise as a field trip! You are going to have to leave your home. You can start out with any antiques you may have in your house, but you should look at this as an opportunity to pick up energy from other families instead of your own.
Bring a friend to an antique shop. Surround yourself and your friend with the circle of protection before you begin. Then, one at a time, begin touching objects, taking a moment to tune in clairtangently before letting go. Write down everything you pick up on. After you’re finished, have your friend do the same. Continue doing this with at least five different objects. Try and do this with older items—chances are these objects will carry more of a history. Compare what you’ve written down afterward, but before leaving the store so you have the opportunity to check out the antiques.
Does what you’ve written down jive with what your friend recorded? Or was it completely different? Are you able to validate anything by looking at any of the tags or labels attached to the objects? Can you verify anything with the store owner or clerk? How much, if anything, did you get about each object? How did it feel? Did any of the objects make you uncomfortable? Did they make you feel good? Or happy? Or sad? Did you feel as though you were lucky to be touching them? Was it simple? Was it difficult?
Overall, did this form of clairtangency feel comfortable? Practice this again at different stores. Also, try it with other items such as cars and playground swings. The only problem is you won’t be able to get validation, but you will be able to practice tuning in and it will help you learn how you receive the information.
Nope, I’m Not Wearing That
Clairtangence is about touching, so it follows suit that coming into contact with fabric or articles of clothing can also send out information that you may be able to tune in to. This psychic sense can give you clues about many things, including the people who made the fabric, the person who sold it to you or gave it to you, or even the person who owned it before you.
Growing up with a single mother, it seemed we were always counting pennies. At times, that meant my mom would sew clothes for me. This also meant we would shop at a thrift store instead of the mall. I didn’t mind that much, except it sometimes created an argument or at least a frustrating conversation. We’d go shopping and I’d try on clothes and my mom would love them.
“That looks fantastic on you!” she’d exclaim.
“I can’t stand it,” I’d say.
“But it really looks great!” she’d insist.
“It doesn’t feel good,” I’d tell her.
This happened often. It didn’t matter how good the clothing looked on me, if it didn’t feel right to me I didn’t want it. It wasn’t just about the fabric; there was more to it. Some clothing made me feel yucky and some made me feel ill. Others would make me feel like I wanted to run screaming out of the store. This was not a normal reaction that anyone seemed to have, but I did, on a regular basis. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant.
I was experiencing clairtangent vibes as a child, although I had no idea that’s what it was. My mom, try as she might, would actually buy the clothes, insisting I’d change my mind because they “looked so nice on me,” but they’d sit at the back of my closet, never to be worn. Other clothes felt good, and luckily looked okay on me, so those were the ones I stuck to. I still remember my red and white checked pants—I know, sounds over the top now but they felt perfect to me then. They made me happy.
Many girlfriends will commandeer their boyfriend’s sweatshirts to wear to bed because it “feels” like their boyfriend, which feels good to them. They are tuning in to them through their clairtangent sense. Used clothing, shoes, and jewelry all have a tendency to hold on to energy more than new items—particularly because someone else has worn the new (old) stuff before you. The mental and physical state of the previous owner can still be attached. Think of the phrase “wearing your heart on your sleeve.” That is more accurate than most people know. The energy of the last person who wore the object is still attached.
Not all clothing or jewelry will hold energy that can be felt. Often, it is the special articles of clothing that will carry the emotions and even the personality of the person who used to wear them. Items such as college sweatshirts or even college rings hold energy. Definitely highly emotional items such as wedding dresses or wedding rings exude energy. Depending on the mental or emotional state of the person when they wore them last, these objects may feel good or bad or anything in between. And if you’re psychically in tune to your clairtangent abilities, you will most likely pick up on the energy.
Again, protect yourself with the sphere of protection. This is important because you are specifically trying to tune in to someone else’s energy and wear it. Now, do the same thing you did with the antiques, but this time go to a thrift shop. Next, pick out some clothing that you can try on.
Give each article at least a couple of minutes on your body. How does it feel? Do you like it? Do you not like it? Try and look past the way it physically looks on your body and feel whether it has good energy or bad, whether it makes you happy or sad. If it makes you feel good, buy it! We can all use an extra injection of happiness!
Medical Intuition
Maybe one of the most important uses for clairtangency is medical intuition. Like most other psychic abilities, this touch sense is very useful for diagnosing an energy or even a physical deficiency or malady. Teresa Brady shares this in her book: “Among many methods—from feeling hot spots or cold spots to feeling a disorganized energy flow in and around the body or particular organs—the medical intuitive can use clairtangency in addition to other methods to diagnose and treat disease.” (Brady, 2011)
By utilizing your psychic sense of touch, you can learn many things about someone’s particular ailment or weakness. Similar to clairsentience, by laying your hands on someone and using clairtangence you will be able to tune in to the flow of their energy system and determine if there are any missing or void areas. You can also tell if there are any deficiencies in their physical body, like muscle pain or tooth pain or even broken bones or past surgeries. Using clear touch can also tell you if there are any malfunctioning or missing organs.
I regularly see a client, Cheryl, who was having many issues with feeling like she was choking while doing exercises with her chakras. It would always be a problem around her communication chakra. She wasn’t able to hear any messages clearly, nor was she able to put to words the information she received. I tuned in to her body by touching her hand. After telling her she was blocked in that area in some way and that it could be physical, she set out to discover what the blockage was.
Cheryl went to the doctor and, lo and behold, it turns out she has a thyroid disease. The thyroid is located in the throat and communication chakra area. Her block was a physical one. Now she needs to work out energetically why this happened so she can clear her fifth chakra and hear the messages she knows she’s receiving. By using the psychic sense of touch, we were able to make the physical discovery so she can now get help.
We often use clairtangency during my workshops. During one of them I had a student, Jackie, tell me she was going through some medical issues and wanted to know if anyone could diagnose what was going on because the doctors hadn’t been able to tell. She was very worried there was something seriously wrong and was desperate for answers. So after I held her hand and tuned in, I decided to have the whole class touch her, one by one, and tap into her energy field.
“What are you picking up?” I asked the first student.
“I feel like there is something with her stomach,” she replied.
“Okay, and what do you get?” I questioned as the next student came up.
“I’m not sure but I feel like there’s some kind of distress in the digestive system also,” he replied.
On and on it went, everyone tuning in to the digestive area and stomach.
“Is this accurate?” I asked Jackie.
“Yes. I went to the doctors, but they don’t see anything,” she responded.
“I think it’s an allergy. I was picking up on some kind of irritable bowel as well, but I think it’s caused by allergies. Have you ever been diagnosed with dairy allergies?” I inquired.
“No, but it does seem to bother me after I’ve had cheese or ice cream. I have milk in my coffee every day, too. I wonder if that’s what it is,” Jackie responded.
“There’s a visualization exercise I do whenever I have any kind of digestive distress. Imagine a press, like a big block of cement pushing gently down through your entire abdomen, leaving no room for anything to get left behind and cause pain. Try that. It may help to get everything out that’s causing you distress. And I would use nondairy creamer and lay off the other dairy products for a couple of weeks and see how you do. Let us know!”
Jackie did just that. She cut out the dairy. She told me she was pain free. No more digestive or bowel issues. Our psychic senses had helped her ease her physical distress. Jackie is able to live a healthier, more comfortable life without worrying there was something more critical wrong with her.
Now that you’ve become accustomed to touch, get together with a few friends and invoke your circle of protection around everyone.
Then, lie down with your socks and shoes off. (Make sure your feet are clean!) Have each person take a turn and hold your feet. After they’ve done this for five to ten minutes, have them write down everything they get using their clairsentience. But don’t share until everyone else has had a turn. After all of your friends have had a chance, compare what they’ve written. Did any of them hit on anything that is going on either physically or energetically with you? How about emotionally or mentally? Did they pick up the same things? Did they tune in to different things? Were they accurate?
After you are done in the hot seat, so to speak, switch. Have someone else be the sitter. Each person takes a turn tuning in by holding on to the feet of the person in the chair. Once again, compare what you’ve written down. Did you all pick up similar issues with your clairtangence? Or did your answers differ? Were you able to tap into any medical, physical, energetic, mental, or emotional problems?
How did you do specifically? How did it feel to use your clairtangence in this way? Did you feel all right when people were reading you? Or did you feel uncomfortable? Did it feel better to be the reader or the sitter?
Touch on This
Believing you are like Mr. Miyagi from the movie The Karate Kid can be a little hard to swallow. Knowing you are able to lay your hands on someone and diagnose an illness, disease, or problem is pretty intense, not to mention riddled with responsibilities that most people will not even attempt to take on. But allowing that you have the gift of clairtangence, and that this ability is a natural and normal part of you, can prove you’re worthy of more than you know.
Receiving messages through touch can open a new chapter in your life and make you more aware of the power of your psychic abilities in a whole new way. Through touch you can understand. Remember, though, that even though you are excited about reaching out and touching someone, they may not want you touching them!