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Bradley
I’ve never wondered what I would do if the perfect girl walked into my life because I never expected it to happen. Sam isn’t someone that I asked for. She was presented to me at a time when I was open to love. Her voice is something that I will never be able to forget. It’s what first drew me to her. Her uncertainty and reluctance, in the beginning, is what made me want her even more. Pursuing Sam was the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.
Now I’m faced with another decision, that’s really a no-brainer. Do I take the job that was offered to me at Linkin Engineering or move away to one of the better options? There is no way that I would ever leave Sam behind, and I can’t ask her to uproot her life just for me. My mind was made up the moment she told me that she loved me. Where ever she is, is where I want to be. Even if my mind weren’t already set on staying, I wouldn’t have to decide until I’m done with school. As it turns out, I’m a prime candidate for the job, and they want me to work for them just as much as I want to be there.
It’s crazy to fall so hard for someone that I had only met months ago. There’s this pull between us that’s impossible to resist. I don’t think I could let her go even if I tried. I’ve been thinking about renting an apartment or a house for Sam and me. Every time I attempt to bring it up, something stops me, leaving me to wonder if I’m moving too fast. I just want to be with her, and spending nights alone in my bed is not working for me anymore. I hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep since our trip last month. I haven’t been able to enjoy her the way I did that night again, but oh how I long for it.
Whatever I’m doing, it must be all of the right things for Sam to offer me to come home with her for Christmas. Oddly, I’m not nervous about meeting her father. The way she speaks of him, he seems like a cool dad. It’s her sister that I’m worried about. From what she’s told me, Lacy is like a mother to her, and she is very protective. If she feels comfortable enough with me to take this step, then I welcome it regardless of my nerves. Maybe the whole apartment thing isn’t such a bad idea.
My thoughts fade away at the gentle squeeze of Sam’s hand on mine. I glance over at her in the passenger seat of my car. I’ll never get enough of her smile.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks me with a gleam in her eyes.
“Us, our future.”
“Our future, huh? How does it look?”
“As far as I can tell, everything’s turning up roses.”
“Roses?” A soft chuckle follows.
“Yeah, roses. I thought girls like that sort of thing; roses and candy and romance. Anyway, that’s how I see it. We should sit down and discuss it after our visit.”
Her features show signs of concern as she returns her attention to the road. “You’re right, we probably should.”
We talk plenty, but we’ve never discussed where our relationship is headed after college. There’s not much time for that kind of talk. Between work and classes, all I want to do is be with her when we’re together. I’ve always felt like we could deal with the serious stuff later, but time is not on my side at this point. We need to have the talk soon.
I bring her hand up to my lips and place a small kiss there. She refuses to look in my direction, but I can see the corner of her lip rise into her cheek out of the corner of my eye. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to think about the future right now, or maybe she’s thinking too much into what I said. A change of subject could do us both some good.
“Tell me again about this trap you’re walking me into,” I say, veering away from the serious topic.
“It’s not a trap, Brad. Lacy is harmless unless you cross her. Just don’t forget to call her ma’am. Whatever you do, don’t look her in the eyes. She hates it when people do that. Don’t touch me under any circumstances. She doesn’t like that either. You should see how she reacted to the last guy who touched me in front of her.”
Sam pauses and looks me over.
“You probably should’ve worn a suit and tie, and shaved that shadow that I love off of your face.”
Her cute little button nose scrunches. Her expression is serious for a few seconds before she bursts into laughter.
She really had me going for a moment. I love that about her, her playfulness, her laugh, the way she can cause my breath to pause, and the fact that I’m still learning things about her in pieces. That’s the way I want it to be for the rest of our lives. I never want to know everything about her all at once. I never want my interest in her to dissipate. I want Sam to always be mine forever.
Her laughter causes me to join in with her. Everything about her is infectious, inviting, alluring.
My Sam!
“I can see you’re enjoying this far too much. Don’t forget. You still have to meet my family.”
Sam’s body goes tense at my words. Her laughter eases away, and a hush envelopes us. I’ve never mentioned her meeting my family before, but I’d assumed that she was ready. Now I think I may have been wrong.
“Not until you’re ready, of course. I would never push you into anything, baby. Relax. I just thought...”
My voice trails off. I don’t know what I was thinking would happen, bringing that up right now. We’ve grown closer the past few months, but she’s still very cautious. She’s still hesitant, and I can sense the wheels turning inside her head before she makes every decision.
“Sam, breathe. Not until you’re ready, okay?”
She doesn’t look my way, but she nods her agreement.
I hope my big mouth didn’t ruin our trip before we even arrived at our destination.
“How does your family celebrate Christmas? Do you have any traditions?” I casually change the subject.
“Not really. My grandma is not as close as we would all like. It’s been me, my dad, and Lacy for as long as I can remember on Christmas until Lacy married Robert. Then three became four, and now you’ll be joining us. Hopefully for years to come.”
She pauses and finally looks at me for a reaction that I don’t give. I like the sound of that, and I hope for the same thing.
“We’ve only ever had one tradition or rather just something we fell into. Dad, Lacy, and I would gather together every Friday evening to hang out as a family until I went away to school. I miss those days so much.”
Her face lights up when she speaks of that time in her life. It must’ve been hard for them growing up without their mother, but it seems like their father did a great job all on his own. I can’t imagine myself having two young girls to raise without the help of their mother.
“Was it hard growing up without your mother?”
“Well, yes and no. We never had a chance to meet. So, I don’t miss her in the same sense that Lacy or my dad does. I don’t miss who she was or her being there with me every day because that’s something that I’ve never known. I do long for what she would’ve been to me if I’d had the chance to get to know her. At one point, I blamed myself for her not being here. I couldn’t understand how my family could still love me so much after losing her. I was a constant reminder, but they never treated me badly. I didn’t miss out on the things that a child needs. I didn’t want for anything, but every so often, I wish that she was with me. For the longest time, I wanted to be just like the woman that I’d heard so much about growing up. My family’s memories of her helped shape me into who I am today.”
Sam sighs as she gazes out of her window. When her eyes return to me, she smiles sadly. Her eyes glossed over with unshed tears.
I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help but think, what if it was her that died instead of her mother? I never would’ve heard her laugh that night, and we would never have met. Her touch, her kiss, the feel of her skin against mine, would all be foreign to me. I wouldn’t know what love could be like with Sam.
