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Samantha
Brad and I hardly talk at the party. Ginger pulls me away almost as soon as the party really gets started. We had a chance to talk about our profession and compare notes. She tried to pry a recipe out of me, but I wouldn’t dare give up even one. Viv would kill me.
Ginger and I sit in the lounge chairs surrounding the indoor pool. Brad retrieved the duffle bag we packed from the car earlier so we could change into our bathing suits. The older adults are inside the main house, while we’re here with the younger kids keeping watch and having a little fun of our own.
The main pool is heated, fifty-feet long, and sits at the center of everything. There is a small hot tub and a separate kiddie pool on the far end of the well-lit room. I haven’t gotten into the water yet, but I plan to before we leave.
Brad and Jeremy are involved in a game of pool volleyball with his cousins. I can’t help but admire the way his muscles flex each time his arms rise above his head to spike the ball. Water glides across his skin, seemingly in slow motion. I nip at the corner of my bottom lip, entranced by his movements, imagining those same muscles tight against my body.
“So, you and my big-headed brother.” I startle at the sudden interruption by Ginger.
“Huh?” I said absentmindedly, turning in Ginger’s direction.
“You... My brother?” she drags out. “I’ve never seen him like this before,” she says, with a gesture in Brad’s direction.
“Like what?” I ask, slightly confused, and a little embarrassed that I was caught ogling her brother.
“Happy. I mean, he’s always been happy, but there’s something different about him now.” She turns to look at Brad. “He wasn’t even this happy with...” Her words fade away as she faces me again. She smiles. “He’s never been in love with anyone until you.”
My eyes find Brad’s for a few seconds. He winks at me and continues their game.
“And I’ve never been in love until him,” I reply.
“It’s obvious, the way you two look at each other. There’s a deep connection between you. You may have boosted his ego a bit too much, but you’re good for him.” Ginger grins at her own comment, and I join in.
“He’s a great guy,” I say with a sigh.
“He is,” she says in agreeance. “He’s one of the best that I know. I’ve missed him while I was away. We were almost inseparable as kids. I called us the secret keepers.” She lets out a little giggle. “I know a lot of his dirty little secrets, and he knows all about mine, minus the gushy stuff, of course. I’ve never told him this, but it was hard moving away after high school, away from everything and everyone that I’ve ever known. I couldn’t stick around here. I needed to get out there. I want to experience things, you know?” I nod, and she smiles. “I wish he could’ve come with me, but BP isn’t like that. He’s a white picket fence kind of guy, so to speak. He likes things in order. Always has to have a plan,” she huffs out a long breath.
“What about you? How long have you known Jeremy?”
The question is out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. I hope I’m not being too forward by prying into her personal life. I don’t know her well enough to ask that type of question, but I feel comfortable with Ginger.
Ginger looks at me with tapered eyes as if I’ve said something wrong. I stare back at her waiting for her to tell me that it’s none of my business. Instead, her lips curl into a smile, and her eyes soften.
“Too long,” she says. Her words don’t reflect the look in her eyes. “Jeremy and I were high school sweethearts,” she adds. “He’s the only love I’ve ever known, and now I can’t imagine a life without him.”
I notice her use of the word now, and it makes me wonder. “Have you ever?”
“Ever what?” she asks.
“Have you ever imagined what your life would be like without him?”
“Sure, I have,” she says honestly. “But even in my imagination, when I was at my happiest, a part of me still thought of him. He’s the one person that I wanted to share my happiness with. He’s my best friend. He annoys me and makes me mad half the time, but I love him.” She shrugs.
She’s the most carefree person that I’ve ever met. How could she be so calm about the idea of losing someone who means so much to her? The thought seems to evade her senses. My eyes roam over to Brad in the pool. I don’t want to imagine a life without Brad.
“This is nice,” she says.
I gaze at her for an explanation. “What is?”
“All of this.” She gestures with her hands. “Being here with family. Having someone my age and of the same gender to talk to. It’s nice. I’ve never had this. BP is a great listener, but let’s face it; he’s still a guy and some things I know he’d rather not hear.”
“I know what you mean,” I say, thinking about my dad and all of the things I would never think to tell him.
“I’ll be here for a few days. Maybe we can get together again before I leave.”
“I’d like that.”
After the guys finish their game, Brad’s cousins leave the pool to go inside. Ginger and Jeremy leave shortly after them, leaving Brad and me alone in the pool. I swim a couple of laps and somehow end up against the side of the pool with Brad’s arms blocking me inside.
“Finally,” Brad says. His lips brush softly against mine. “You and Ginger seem to be getting along good.”
“Yeah, we are. I like her. She’s not what I imagined her to be. Your whole family is great.” My hands rest just below his shoulders. The feel of his skin beneath my hands is soothing and tight. It feels like home. It’s only been hours since I last touched his bare skin, but it feels like forever.
“That’s good to know.” He says. His eyes glance over me. “You wanna get out of here?” he asks with a predatory stare.
Meeting his family wasn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I feel closer to him. I feel our connection growing stronger. Even so, I’m anxious for him to take me away from here. My body tingles at the thought of what he might do to me once we’re home. “Yes.”
***
A FEW WORDS COME TO mind when I think about how I feel.
Sober but drunk.
Lost but incredibly found.
Content with a healthy side of anxiety.
All because of love. Because I opened myself up completely to someone.
A small smile plays across my lips as Brad’s muscular arms tighten around my waist from behind. His hard length pressed against my bottom. I’ve been laying here nestled against his still frame for the past fifteen minutes, savoring the feel of him wrapped around me. Thinking about how lucky I am to have a guy like him. Not wanting this moment to end, but knowing that it won’t be long before I have to leave for class. Monday mornings are not my favorite thing.
“Good morning love.” Brad’s gruff voice vibrates against my shoulder as he places a small kiss there.
My eyes close at the warm feel of his lips. “Good morning.”
He breathes me in deeply. “Better than a hot cup of coffee,” he says, nuzzling at the back of my ear.
My heart beats unsteadily within me. Heat floods my skin. “Are you sure about that?” I want to turn and face him, but the thought of my not so fresh breath keeps me from doing so.
“I’m positive,” he says. His hand caresses my arm and down to my thigh. “My hands would never be able to linger on hot coffee for this long without burning myself.” He gets up and turns me onto my back, positioning himself on one elbow, his hips between my thighs. “My lips...” he says, touching his lips to the base of my neck, “...would never be able to do that without blistering.” His thumb glides across my bottom lip. His eyes seared into mine. “And this...” he says as he rips open a foil pack and sheaths himself with its contents, sliding into me slowly.
I let out a soft moan.
“I would never be able to take the heat from doing something like this.” He lets out a grunt as he sinks himself deep into me.
One rational thought occurs to me before I give in to his sweet torture. No. You would not. His movements send my mind into a frenzy. His closeness is not close enough. His hands cause an ache within me but are also like medicine to my skin, all in the same take. The way he handles me is rough, yet cautious. It’s intense, beautiful, and deeply satisfying. My breath returns to me in a rush as we both topple over the edge and back to reality.
I have less than an hour to get to class after my shower. I reluctantly part from Brad, get into my car, and make the short drive to campus. I’m forced to park, what seems like, a mile away from the class I’m supposed to attend. I spot Garrett leaning against a building, chatting it up with some girl. I’m not the least bit fazed by it. Seeing him with someone else makes me happy. Any attention not focused on me is a good thing.
He lifts his chin in a silent hello but doesn’t make a move to vacate his company. I bring my hand up in a small wave. Though Brad sees him almost daily, this is the first time I’ve seen him in weeks. I was wondering how he’s been handling me being with Brad and how they’ve been able to be in each other’s company, not because I want him, but more out of curiosity. He seems to be handling it well. I turn my attention away from him and continue on to my class.
I step out of my last class of the day and into the warm air. It feels good to not have to bundle up every time I step outside. This is my favorite time of year. I’m on my way to visit Emily before I leave campus when a familiar voice shouts out to me from behind.
Garrett.
“Hey, Samantha. Wait up!”
To anyone who doesn’t know the complexity of our relationship, it would seem that we’re good friends who talk regularly; but I know differently. We’re not friends anymore. We’re barely acquaintances. If it weren’t for Brad, I wouldn’t give Garrett the time of day.
Be casual. Be courteous. It’s not a big deal. I try and coax myself into our impending encounter. I plaster a smile onto my face, blow out a soothing breath, and turn to face him. His hands are inches away from touching my shoulder when I turn. I move away quickly before he makes contact.
He stops before me, rubbing his hands through his beautiful golden locks. “Sorry.”
“No problem. Did you need something?” I ask with a slight edge to my voice. I want this to be over as quickly as possible.
“Not necessarily.” He tucks his hands into the front pocket of his blue jeans. The buttons of his green polo shirt are unfastened, revealing a small part of his chest. “I wanted to see how you were doing. I haven’t seen you around.”
And that’s not such a bad thing. I think to myself. “I’ve been busy. It’s a pretty big campus, and I don’t stay here anymore,” I respond, hinting at my relationship with Brad and current living situation.
A dreadful look crosses his features and quickly disappears. “So...” He looks away and back again. “I thought we could grab a drink or something to eat, catch up.” He shrugs as if it’s a normal occurrence between us.
“I was actually on my way to see Emily before I go home.” I toss my thumb over my shoulder in the direction of my old dorm.
“Some other time then?” he asks with a little too much hope.
I don’t answer. “I should be going. See you around, Garrett.” I want to ask him the question that’s been on my mind, but he may take it the wrong way. I don’t want to plant a bad seed in his head. I move to walk away, and his hand touches my shoulder. I stop and glance at his hand, raising my brow questioningly.
He doesn’t move it away. He waits until my eyes return to his. A sly smirk appears on his face, one I haven’t seen since we were together.
“I’m glad I found you, Samantha,” he says.
I tilt my head in confusion. I don’t know what to make of his statement. “You didn’t find me, Garrett. Me and you being here together is pure coincidence.”
“I still love you, Samantha. I thought I could handle seeing you with another man. I tried to keep my distance because of Brad, but I just can’t. You’re the only girl that’s ever meant anything to me.” The forefinger on his free hand settles beneath my chin as he steps closer to me.
I’m shocked by the sudden change in his behavior. For a moment, I wonder if he’ll try to kiss me and if I’d let him if he tried. I can’t think straight. What am I thinking? What is he doing? “What are you saying, Garrett?” I don’t know why I ask that question and why my words sound hopeful. His hand now rests on my hip. His finger still touches my chin. He steps closer, leaving only an inch of space between us.
“I want you back, Samantha. I need you.” His face is so close that I can feel his breath wisp across my lips. There’s an odd energy between us that I can’t explain.
I feel like I’m caught up in a nightmare. A beautiful one, but still a nightmare. This can’t be happening. Garrett is still the same old Garrett, just all grown up. And he still thinks that he can have whatever he wants when he wants it. Well, he’s wrong. He can’t have me.
I shrug his hands away from me. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I shake my head, disbelieving what just happened, trying to clear the flog. I look into his eyes for an explanation. I silently ask him, Why? How could you do this to me? To Brad? To us? I was beginning to believe that he could handle cordial without the promise of something more. Now I know that’s not true.
I can’t be this close to him again. It’s true. I don’t love Garrett anymore, but I still feel a connection to him. The sixteen-year-old girl in me came alive when he touched me.
I walk around him, being careful not to touch him. He doesn’t make a move to stop me this time. I go straight to my car. I don’t have the energy to visit Emily today. Garrett has once again thrown my world off its axis, and I don’t know what to do about it. I need time to think.
