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Bradley
I glance over at Sam as she begins to stir in the passenger seat. I was furious at Garrett for what he did. I wanted to pummel him with my fist until he couldn’t speak. I probably would have if Sam hadn’t fainted. The moment I saw her knees wobble, my only thought was catching her and making sure she was alright. I scooped her into my arms and walked away from Garrett and the audience that had gathered around us. I put her in the passenger seat and drove away.
Her eyes flutter open next to me. She looks around, confused, and smiles when she sees me. Then her brows scrunch, and she shakes her head slowly. Her smile disappears, and she turns away from me. I assume everything is just coming back to her.
I focus my eyes back on the road. This was partially my fault. I left my phone. I left the door to the apartment open. Garrett isn’t the only person I’m mad at, though. I’m upset with myself for letting this happen. I should’ve cut ties with him the moment I found out about their past. There were plenty of signs and warnings. I chose to ignore them, and now we’re here; in a place, I never thought we’d be. I didn’t think that he would go to those lengths to have her.
We ride home in silence. I pull up outside the apartment and turn the car off. Both of us sit there, staring at our front door. I finally get out and step around to open Sam’s door. I reach for her hand. It takes her a second, but she grabs my hand and steps out.
Inside the apartment, Sam runs into the bedroom ahead of me. Moments later, I hear the shower turn on. I take a seat on the couch, resting my elbows on my knees. I hold my head in my hands and close my eyes. I want to go after her. I want to help her in some way. I can only imagine how she feels.
I don’t know how to handle this. I’m feeling so much right now. I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I try to think of ways this could’ve been prevented. If only I’d gotten out of the car to meet her today, none of this would’ve happened. I’d sent her a message to let her know I was there. When I saw her standing there looking around, I got out to go to her, but I was too late. Garrett’s lips were already on her. I should never have gone on that trip.
It doesn’t matter how many reasons or ways I come up with. I know in my soul that there is nothing I could’ve done to keep this from happening. Garrett is persistent and cunning, and he wasn’t going to quit until he got what he wanted.
“Fuck,” I scream into the open living room. How did this happen? How did I let this happen? The thought of someone else touching her burns me to my core.
I pull out my cell phone to browse through my messages from that night, hoping somehow it will change things. Knowing what he messaged her wouldn’t stop any of this from happening. It would only make things worse, but it doesn’t stop my curiosity. The last message I received from her that day is still the same as I remembered. Always. There’s no trace that he’d messaged her at all. He did a good job of covering his tracks.
I sit back and lay my head on the back of the couch. I stare at the blank ceiling for an answer that never comes. Almost an hour later, I hear the water shut off in the shower. I wait a few minutes more before I go to the bedroom. Sam is nestled underneath the covers when I enter. She doesn’t move or turn to look at me. I feel so helpless.
What do I say to her after she’s been taken advantage of by her ex?
Nothing. I don’t say anything.
I take a quick shower, and when I’m done, Sam is asleep. I shouldn’t feel relieved, but I am. We need to talk about this eventually. Tonight, I don’t know how or where to begin a conversation like that. We both need time.
I ease into bed cautiously, staring at her back. It’s like lying with a stranger, but I’m not. I want to kiss her, but I won’t. I want to touch her, but I can’t. This night wasn’t supposed to end like this.
I turn away from her to face the wall. I lay awake for hours before sleep finally overtakes me.
***
MY HAND REACHES FOR Sam on her side of the bed out of habit, only to feel an empty space. I turn, facing her side of the bed. I know she’s gone when I don’t see her purse or cell phone. This is the first time that she’s left without saying goodbye. I feel like the biggest disappointment ever. I was a coward at a time when she needed my comfort. I’m still a coward. She trusted me with her heart, and now it’s been broken by the same person all over again. I feel responsible.
I sit up on the edge of the bed. I need to make this better somehow. I grab my phone and call her. I’m greeted by her voicemail. She’s likely busy with her last exam.
“Hi. Samantha here. Leave me a message.”
My eyes close at the sound of her cheerful voice on the other end. I debate whether I should hang up or not. She’ll probably feel worse than she already does if I don’t leave a message.
“Hey, baby. I’m sorry about yesterday. We should talk.” I leave her a short message and hang up.
I’m done with classes, and graduation is in a few days. Dad gave me the week off to prepare. Normally I’d visit my friends and hang out with them, but after what Garrett did, I don’t think that’s ever going to happen again if he’s around. I don’t trust myself not to hurt him. There is no going back from this. The damage is done.
I rise and walk over to my unpacked luggage from my trip. I carry it to the bed and open it. I reach into the hidden compartment at the bottom of the suitcase and pull out the small black box I brought back from my trip. I open it and stare at the contents. A small diamond sits comfortably in the gold band. It’s simple yet elegant. It’s not big or expensive, but when I saw it, I knew it was the one. It reminds me of Sam, not eager for attention, but still stands out in a crowd of many. Maybe that’s what drew me to it.
Last night was supposed to be special. I’d made it seem like we were going out to celebrate my graduation, but I had plans. I knew she wouldn’t say no to a night out. Everything was going perfectly. I was going to propose to her at the movie theater where we had our first official date. The same place where she began to open up and let me in.
I had a conversation with my dad about it. He likes her. My whole family does. He told me that it was my decision, and when the time was right, I would know. The timing felt right up until yesterday. I’m not so sure if it’s the best move anymore. If I can’t protect her from someone like Garrett, then maybe she’s better off without me.
I tuck the box back into the hidden compartment and get dressed. The apartment is so quiet I can hear a pin drop. I can’t sit around here all day thinking about what should’ve been. I grab my keys and leave. I have no idea where I’m going. I just know I need to do something before I drive myself crazy.
My mom is scurrying about in the driveway when I pull up at her house. Dad’s truck is already gone. She’s loading up her SUV with bags. I park, get out, and follow her into the house to help.
“Well, good morning Bradley.” She calls over her shoulder. She doesn’t skip a beat. She moves just as fast as she was, not stopping for a hug or proper greeting. I assume she’s on her way to one of her events. “What brings you by early this morning?”
“Just thought I’d stop by to see you. Can I help you with anything?”
“Since you’re here...” She grabs a handful of bags and hands them to me. “I won’t turn down the help. I’m trying to make it to the center before Trish and Andrew get there.” She talks as if I know who she’s talking about. I walk out of the house, dumbfounded, and she follows close behind with her arms full.
I’ve watched my mom for years prepare for these things, and it’s never really sparked an interest in me. It still doesn’t, but it might be a good distraction.
“Do you mind if I tag along?” I ask her. I place the bags neatly into the trunk, and she does the same. “You’re going to need some help unloading all of this and getting set up, right?”
She finally takes a second to look at me. The way she studies me reminds me of when I was younger; when I would do something bad. Somehow, she always knew just by watching me. Her eyes squint at me, trying to figure out the problem. I have no intention of telling her exactly what’s going on. I just want to be around someone familiar, someone who’s always known what I needed without me having to say it.
“Sure, you’re always welcome to come along. And maybe you can explain to me the real reason why you’re here on the drive over.”
We finish packing up and drive over to the location to set up. I tell mom about my plans to marry Sam one day. I leave out the small bit that I’d planned to ask her last night. I don’t want to get into why it didn’t happen. I tell her that I wanted to get her opinion on the matter, even though that’s not the real reason I came to visit her.
She doesn’t pry for more information. She accepts the little I give her and continues on. I sense that she knows that there’s more to my story, but she lets it go for now.
I’ve learned that Trisha and Andrew are the mother and father of the bride to be. They hired mom to plan their daughter’s wedding and reception. By the time Trish and Andrew arrive, me and mom, along with mom’s assistants, are just putting the finishing touches on the room. They are beyond pleased with what mom has done.
I watch the happy parents. In a couple of hours, Andrew will walk his daughter down the aisle and give her away. Trish will probably burst into tears at the sound of I do.
I smile for the first time since yesterday at mom’s accomplishment. It’s nice seeing her in her element, doing what she loves. I wonder if she’ll be as happy as Trish and Andrew if Sam and I ever make it to the altar.
They leave to get ready for their daughter’s big day, and we’re not far behind. Mom has a few hours before she has to be back.
Mom insists on making me a tuna sandwich for lunch when we get back home, so I let her. She gives me the plate with a glass of water and sits next to me at the table. I’m not hungry, but I won’t turn down anything mom makes. The first bite seems to melt in my mouth.
“I almost forgot,” she says out of the blue. “Valerie is back in town.”
Valerie. My best distraction until I met Sam.
I haven’t seen her since she and her mom left years ago. It’s been almost as long since I’ve talked to her. “Valerie?” I say in disbelief.
“Yes. I ran into her the other day at the store.” Mom pauses and purses her mouth, contemplating her next words. “She asked about you.”
“She did? Did she say why she was back?” I don’t know why I want to know, but I do. I was disappointed when Valerie and I lost touch. I wasn’t in love with her, but I did love her. She was one of my best friends next to Gin. We both wanted the same things at one point in time. I wonder if she still feels the same, or if she’s fallen into the love trap like me. I’ve wondered over the years why she didn’t try to contact me. I’ve never changed my number. Why didn’t she give me a call when she came back? Do I remind her of a past she wants to erase?
Mom looks at me, thoughtfully. “She and her mom will be here for a month or so. They finally decided to sell their old house.”
I consider asking mom if she’d said anything else, but I don’t see the point. We’ve both moved on, and she’s obviously not interested in speaking with me, or she would’ve done it by now. The last thing I need right now is to add to my current situation.
“That’s cool,” I say, turning my attention back to my sandwich.
