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Bradley
The party turned out to be exactly what I needed. I haven’t laughed or let myself feel anything but pain this past week. It felt good to not have to think for a while, to feel as if things between Sam and me was as it used to be.
I haven’t been able to give her the attention she deserves for days now. I haven’t wanted to until tonight. The way she handled things with Val, the way she reacted to my every touch, has me in a mood that’s been buried deep. I want her as I’ve never wanted her before. I consider that progress since I haven’t had a drink all day.
Sam sticks to her recently adopted routine and heads to the shower when we get home. Only this time, I don’t cower. I don’t hide out in the living room until I think she’s almost asleep. I sit on the side of the bed facing the bathroom door, waiting for her when she comes out.
My body reacts at the sight of her. A towel is wrapped tightly around her while she ruffles her hair with a smaller towel. She stops mid-way to the bed when she spots me. Her expression is one of surprise and curiosity, which is more than I’d expected. I half expected her to retreat, to tell me that I have no right, but she does none of those things. She just stares, and after a few seconds, a smile creeps onto her face.
I feel guilty about not telling Sam that I knew Valerie was back, and the fact that I went to see her at one of the most trying times in our relationship. Bringing it up now would only complicate things further.
“Brad. What are you...? Is everything alright? I didn’t realize you would be in here.”
I cringe at her words that sound so much worse than they really are. Have I really been that absent? Does she not want me here anymore? Everything is not alright. I have to make this up to her somehow.
“I needed to see you.” I gesture for her to come to me, and she does.
Each step she takes toward me is slow, calculated, and a complete turn on. Her fear of me running away is making me want her even more.
“You see me every day Brad.”
“I know, but I need to see you.” I don’t know how else to put it without making her feel less than she is to me. I stand to meet her, pulling her eyes into mine. “I haven’t been fair to you the past couple of days.”
“It’s okay Brad. I haven’t been a saint either if we’re comparing straws.” She lets out a subtle grin, trying to suppress her nerves.
“I miss you, Sam. I miss us.” I run my fingers along her arms, really feeling her for what seems like the first time in forever. “Can we pretend, just for tonight, that love is all there is?”
Her eyes hold mine as she nods yes. I grab her chin, tilting her head up as I bring my lips to hers. Soft. Warm. Mine. Her body gravitates toward me as I deepen the kiss. She lets out a small moan as her hands clutch the fabric at my side. She tugs at the material, breaking away from my lips to pull it over my head. I release the towel from her body and let it fall to the floor.
Lifting her into my arms, I place her down on the bed. I stare deep into her eyes until I find what I’m looking for, not the broken, afraid, or confused girl that unintentionally hurt me. I search for my Sam, the strong, confident, loving angel who saved me from a life of loneliness.
When I have her attention, I kiss her all over again. I bury myself inside of her, reminding her that I’m still here. I’m still in love with her. We still fit together, and I’m not going anywhere.
I try to be gentle, but the sounds she makes awake something inside of me. Sam lets out a noise that I’ve never heard before. I try my hardest to pretend that love is all there is, but the memory of what happened here beats at me with every punishing stroke that I make and every whimper from her lips. In my mind, Sam begs for Garrett to continue, go harder, deeper. She wants him. She’s enjoying him. I don’t realize how harsh my movements are until Sam pleads for me to stop.
“Brad! Brad! Please stop!”
I stop my movement to look at her. It’s not until then that I see the pain in her eyes. It’s at that moment when I feel the shame of what I’d done. If she hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve been one more reminder, one more reason for her to give up on love again.
“Brad?” she questions.
I hang my head, touching my forehead to hers. “I’m so sorry baby. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me. It’s just...” Her words are replaced by a calming breath, wisping past my ear. “I know you, Brad, and that wasn’t you.”
I flip over onto my back to stare up at the ceiling. She’s wrong. That was me, tortured by the knowledge that I wasn’t here to protect her, and angry that someone else stole what was mine.
After a few minutes with no response from me, Sam turns away, and I don’t do anything to stop her. I have to figure this out. I think I know what needs to be done for me to move past this, but I’m not sure she’ll be okay with it.
I snuggle up against her back, wrapping my arm around her. I expect her to pull away, but she doesn’t. She moves in closer, erasing every inch of space between us. She grips my hand tightly as if she’s afraid I’ll disappear if she lets go.
“I love you, Brad,” she stresses.
For a moment, I wonder if she can read my thoughts. I know she loves me. It’s killing me that she feels she has to underline it for me. My actions lately haven’t exactly expressed love. Saying it right now would sound cheap and wrong. So, I don’t say it. I kiss the base of her neck, hoping she can feel the weight of my love for her, hoping she doesn’t give up on me because I haven’t given up on us.
***
DAD CALLED ME EARLY this morning, requesting that I come into the office. I can’t imagine why he wants to see me. I don’t think he knows what the true meaning of a break is.
I don’t bother waking Sam. I place a kiss on her forehead before I leave. She must be exhausted from yesterday because she doesn’t move a muscle. I’ll talk to her about my plans when I come back. I write her a note letting her know where I’ve gone and left it on the nightstand.
I follow dad into his office when I arrive. His expression doesn’t give anything away. I have to wonder if this is about me joining the family business again. He hasn’t pressured me about it, but I know it’s what he wants.
It’s crazy how just a few days ago, I thought I had it all figured out. So much has changed. It’s hard to imagine the life I thought I wanted when everything is so messed up.
“I’m just going to come out and say it, son,” Dad says to me as he sits down at his desk. “I’d like to open up the new office within the next month.”
I sit down across from him, wondering what this has to do with me. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back in a relaxed position.
“As you know, I have a few health issues, and your mother refuses to agree to me going away for so long. I could drive up on weekends, but I need someone I trust to be there every day for the next month or so to make sure everything is moving along properly.”
The more he speaks, the tighter the muscles in my arms become.
“I hate to ask this of you, but I can’t think of anyone better suited for the job. Of course, I’ll send some of my guys along to do the heavy lifting. All you’d need to do is be there to take care of the incoming orders and set up the place. Think of it as a paid vacation with maybe an hour or two of work per day for the next month. Maybe you could get Samantha to go along with you.”
This is huge coming from my dad. It means a lot that he’d trust me with his business. It’s an opportunity that I can’t turn down. I don’t think that Sam would want to come with me, though. She has obligations of her own that she can’t just up and take a break from when she wants to.
Maybe this trip is the break we need. The time apart will give us both time to reflect, and maybe I can finally move forward with my plans.
“So, what do you say?” Dad asks, hopeful.
I can see that this is important to him, and I don’t blame him. I understand trust all too well. I want to do this for him. I need to do this for me.
“When do I leave?”
Dad visibly relaxes in front of me. A rare smile creeps onto his face as relief washes over him. We spend the next hour going over his plans and expectations. I think his plans are going to take a lot longer than one or two hours per day, but I don’t mention that to him.
Dad is the proudest he’s ever been when I leave, and he made sure that I know it.
Two familiar faces draw my attention as I’m driving down Main Street, causing me to slow down to get a better look. The driver behind me honks their horn for me to move out of their way, adding frustration to the rage building inside of me. Someone must be playing a terrible joke on me.
I turn off at the next light and find a parking space. I want to make sure I didn’t see what I thought I did. I walk briskly around the corner toward the two people sitting in front of the coffee shop. I can’t see the girl’s face from my position, but the guy is unmistakable.
Garrett.
The closer I get, the angrier I feel. He spots me and smirks, giving me a chin up as if we’re still friends, as if the past week didn’t happen at all.
I keep walking, anxious to get a glimpse of the girl sitting across from him, and at the same time hoping that it isn’t her. My heart falls when she glances over her shoulder to see what stole Garrett’s attention. Her smile brightens when she realizes it’s me.
Her expression seems to catch Garrett off guard, turning his gaze of deceit toward me to confusion. He looks between the two of us, questioning our reactions.
I stop directly in front of their table, wanting so desperately to yank her away from him. Whatever this is, it can’t happen. I have to warn her somehow.
“Bradley!” Val stands to greet me with a hug.
I really wish she wouldn’t have done it, not in front of Garrett.
Garrett’s smirk reappears. He relaxes in his chair, amused, entertained by this newly found knowledge.
I’ve just added more fuel to the fire, and he’s bathing in it. I can already feel the backlash reaching out for me. I should have kept going. After all, Val is not mine to protect. What she does is none of my business, even if it is with a snake like Garrett.
I awkwardly hugged her back, not wanting Garrett to know the true nature of our relationship.
“It’s funny seeing you here,” I respond, plastering on a fake smile. “I see you’ve jumped right back into things.” I nod in Garrett’s direction, trying to hold my composure. “Garrett,” I greet in the nicest way possible.
“Wait. You two know each other?” Val asks.
“You could say that,” I quip coolly. “I may know a little too much about him to be honest. How did you two meet?”
Was their meeting by chance, or is Garrett on a mission to ruin my life entirely? I can’t in good conscience allow Val to continue with him. I would never forgive myself if someone else I care about were hurt by him.
“We actually met a few days ago. I was picking up a gallon of milk,” Val says.
“And I was in search of something hot,” Garrett stands and grabs Val’s hand. “I got lucky.”
I refrain from punching him for the way he’s looking at her, not to mention the fact that he’s touching her. I take unnoticeably calm breaths and keep my clenched fists tucked neatly against my side.
There’s only one way I can think of to keep her from falling into his trap. The words are out of my mouth before I can think them through clearly.
“Val, I actually meant to talk to you about something.” I give Garrett a side-eyed glance before returning my attention to Val. “Alone. Just for a moment.”
“Okay.” She doesn’t ask what it’s about or questions me otherwise. Val has always been good at reading me that way. “Garrett, I’m sorry to do this to you, but can we finish this some other time?”
A sense of relief washes over me. I thought I’d have to leave her in his care, but obviously, Val knows something isn’t right.
“Are you sure? I can take you home,” Garrett says.
“Yeah, I’m safe with Bradley.”
Garrett leans in to whisper something in her ear. I can’t hear what’s said, but whatever it is, it makes Val giggle like a schoolgirl. I force myself to turn away from his act.
Garrett doesn’t seem the least bit happy as I walk away with Val.
Once we’re inside my car, Val turns to me. “So, what was that about? What’s this big thing that couldn’t wait?”
“I have this big project coming up, and I wanted to run it by you. I think you’ll be the perfect person to help me with it.”
This is one of those occasions when my mind hasn’t quite caught up with my mouth. I know that I shouldn’t be asking her to go with me. I know that Sam won’t approve, but I also know that I can’t leave her here with Garrett. I can’t let him ruin her too.
To Be Continued...
