CHARLOTTE DROVE OUT OF ANISE’S SUBDIVISION AND SIGHED. IT WAS now nine thirty and she was starting to feel exhausted. She’d worked ten hours today and couldn’t wait to get home and climb into bed. Still, she was glad she’d had the opportunity to spend some girl time with her cousin. Being with a man was fine, and very needed, but spending time with another woman was special, especially when you could love and trust that particular woman and be yourself in the process. With Anise, Charlotte never had to watch what she said and never had to walk on eggshells when in her presence. Anise never judged her, and she never treated her any differently when they didn’t agree on something.
Charlotte stopped at the red light and turned on the radio. She searched for AM 1370 and found it. Live with Mary Ellen, a syndicated talk show out of Detroit, was already in progress. The subject for this evening was “Is having an affair really worth the consequences?” Charlotte raised the volume. This was definitely a subject she could relate to, and she wanted to hear what advice Mary Ellen had for her callers.
“Next up, we have Lisa from Birmingham. Hi, Lisa,” Mary Ellen said.
“Hi, Mary Ellen. It’s so great to finally get through to you. I listen to your show every night and I just want to tell you how helpful you have been for me over the last year.”
“I’m really glad to hear that and thanks for being such a dedicated listener.”
“My question to you is, how do you end an affair with a man who gives you the best sex you’ve ever had in your life? I mean, how do you forget this man and simply go on like nothing ever happened? How do I start being faithful to my husband again?”
“Well, for starters, you need to understand why you decided to have the affair in the first place. Because there had to be some reason you made the decision to stray. Are you no longer in love with your husband? Does he no longer satisfy you sexually? Are you no longer attracted to him? Did you marry at a very young age?”
“I’m not sure if I’m still attracted to him or not, but yes, we did marry at an early age. We married during our third year in college, and I was a virgin when I met him. Of course, I ended up getting pregnant right away, so I never had the chance to finish school or start a career. I became a stay-at-home mom and eventually became pregnant with our second child when our first was only eighteen months. We’ve been married for ten years, but about a year ago I started paying attention to other men. My husband became this boring person who worked a lot of hours and traveled on business at least once every couple of weeks, and I needed some excitement in my life. I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn’t find it. So, the next thing I knew, I was flirting with one of my husband’s coworkers, and he started pursuing me on a regular basis. He’d call me from his office and sometimes my husband would come into his office while we were on the phone. And as terrible as this probably sounds, hearing my husband’s voice in the background and knowing that I was sneaking to talk to his friend started to turn me on. Then, the next thing I knew, I was meeting him at motels, meeting him in parks late at night, and doing whatever I had to do to have sex with him. And then, oh God,” she said, sniffling. “There were even a couple of times I left the house to go meet him late at night when my husband was out of town, and I left my children at home by themselves.”
“You have got to seek professional help, Lisa. Sleeping around on your husband is bad enough, but leaving your children all alone is totally unacceptable. Your affair with this man is completely out of control and if you don’t do something about it, it will only get worse. Your situation is very common though. I hear from many women who married their first loves right out of high school or right out of college and ten years down the road they start wondering how it would feel to be with another man. They start to tell themselves that there must be something better outside of their households. They don’t know anything other than the relationship they’ve had with their husbands, so of course, the grass begins to look golf-course green on the other side. It looks like the best thing in the world, and it’s so easy to get caught up in fantasy. You start believing that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage or the perfect man, when in fact, marriage is what you make it. Some women fail to realize that marriage requires a lot of give-andtake, and it requires a ton of hard work. But you have to start working on it from the very beginning. You can’t take it for granted, not for one day.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but how do I end this thing with him? How do I get him out of my system, because it’s to the point now where I don’t even want to have sex with my husband. It’s to the point where I think about my lover every single day. I feel like I need to be with him in order to survive.”
“Like I said, you must get help. I think you should see someone individually, but I would also suggest that you and your husband find a good marriage counselor. Because clearly, your marriage was in trouble long before you started having an affair.”
“Are you saying I should tell my husband?”
“Coming clean would be ideal, but you have to decide. You know your husband better than anyone, and you’ll have to determine if he’ll be able to forgive you and move on. Some things are better left untold. It just depends on each individual. But before you do anything, I suggest you call up your lover and end things with him for good. You need to make it clear that your affair was a mistake and that you are going to make things work with your husband. And no matter what he says or how he tries to make you see otherwise, stick to your guns. You will need to say what you mean and mean what you say. Period.”
“Thank you for speaking to me, Mary Ellen. I really appreciate it.”
“All the best to you, Lisa.”
Charlotte was in shock. This Lisa woman was in the same boat that she was in with Aaron. There were some differences, but the key similarity was the fact that she and Lisa both started having affairs because they needed more excitement in their lives. The other likeness they shared was the type of men they were sleeping with. Lisa’s lover and Aaron both knew how to pleasure Lisa and Charlotte in a way their husbands couldn’t. These men knew how to please them in ways that were unexplainable. And for Charlotte, it wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy making love with Curtis, because she did. But there was something just a bit more thrilling when it came to Aaron. She’d told herself that she was finished with Aaron, but ever since he’d called her cell phone one hour ago, she’d felt completely out of sorts. His voice alone had been enough to stir her. It was enough to make her go to him.
“Let’s take one more caller, and then we’ll go to a commercial break,” Mary Ellen said. “Good evening, Melanie from Newark.”
“Hi, Mary Ellen. How are you?”
“Wonderful. How about you?”
“I’m doing well. Actually, I’m doing a lot better for the first time in two years, and I wanted to share something that might help your last caller.”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“I know exactly how she feels, because I’ve been there. I was only twenty-five when I married my husband, and all of a sudden when I turned forty, I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. It was almost as if I wished I wasn’t married to him. But after seeing the close relationship that my two boys have with their father, I decided to stay married and find love elsewhere. I decided it was time to get sex from someone who really knew how to give it to me. And I did for two whole years. But then one day, about six months ago, I met my lover at a forest preserve in broad daylight. He arrived before me; I parked next to him and then followed him on foot down a long hill and into a secluded, bushy area. We tore into each other like our lives depended on it, and before long we were completely naked, and my lover started pounding into me from behind like there was no tomorrow. I was down on my hands and knees begging him to do it harder, but when I looked up, I saw my eighteen-year-old son, staring at me. I saw tears flooding his face, and in seconds he ran away from us as fast as he could. I don’t remember much else after that, because I fainted.”
“Oh, Melanie,” Mary Ellen said from the airways.
“Oh my God,” Charlotte spoke out loud.
“But the real reason I’m calling is because Lisa needs to know how damaging an affair can be if a child finds out about it. Her children are still under the age of ten, but at eighteen, my son decided to do something about it. So I’m here to tell Lisa and any other woman who is sleeping around on her husband . . . my son committed suicide one week later, in that same forest preserve, in the same spot he caught another man with his mother. He even left a note that said, ‘This is for you, Mom. What a nasty whore you turned out to be.’”
Charlotte waited for Mary Ellen to comment, but she didn’t. Tears flowed from her own eyes, and she thought about Meredith Connolly Christiansen and how Meredith’s daughter had ended her life, too, at such a young age. Charlotte thought about Matthew and what would happen if he ever discovered that she was sleeping around on his father.
“I am so sorry,” Mary Ellen finally said.
“Not more than I am. Because not only did I lose my son, but my husband has moved out and filed for a divorce. And my other son has moved in with him.”
“How devastating. I can’t even imagine. But I do hope you’re seeing someone professionally.”
“I am, but I don’t think I will ever be happy again. It’s been six months, and I’m still as numb as the day it happened. Which is why I hope your listeners are really paying attention to what I’m saying and that they will stop the madness before it’s too late.”
“Thank you for sharing with us, Melanie, and please take care of yourself.”
“You, too,” she said and hung up.
“We’ll be right back” was all Mary Ellen said.
Charlotte drove onto North State Street, wiping her face. She had to end this thing with Aaron for good. She could never allow what happened to Melanie and her son to happen to her and Matthew. She continued driving and heard her phone ringing. She was afraid to look at the caller ID screen.
“Hello?”
“When did you leave your cousin’s?”
“Maybe ten minutes ago.”
“Well, why didn’t you call me?”
“Because there’s nothing for us to talk about.”
“You think you can just decide something like that without me having any say-so about it?”
“When you called me on the phone at the mall I made it very clear that you could be with Michelle or whomever you wanted to. And you said that’s what you were going to do.”
“But you know you don’t want that. You know the thought of me being inside another woman makes you insane.”
“Aaron. I don’t know any other way to say this, but you and I are over. What we had was special, and I appreciate you being there for me these last few months, but I can’t take the chance of Curtis finding out about us, and I won’t allow Matthew to be hurt. We have to end this before something bad happens.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” he said, sounding much more polite.
“I am. I know it’s not what you want, but this is the way it has to be.”
“But why?”
“I just told you. Curtis and Matthew.”
“After all we’ve been to each other?”
“I’m sorry, Aaron. I really, really am.”
“Baby, this hurts. I mean, this is truly going to tear me apart.”
“Maybe for a while, but you’ll find someone else. Or maybe you can spend more time with Michelle, because she really seems to like you.”
“I’m not in love with Michelle. I’m in love with you.”
“Like I said, I’m sorry for all of this. I’m sorry that we even started seeing each other, because it was never fair to you.”
“You’re damn right it was never fair to me, because you always had Curtis to run home to.”
“I know, I know. And I hope that one day you can forgive me.”
“Okay, look,” he said, sounding calm again. “Your mind is obviously made up, so the least you could do is tell me all of this in person. You owe me at least that much.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think we need to make this our last conversation. If we see each other face-to-face, it will only make things harder.”
“I promise I won’t try to change your mind, but please don’t end this so coldly. Please let me see you one last time.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please, baby, don’t make me beg like this. It’s so humiliating.”
“Okay. Fine. But it can’t be tomorrow, because we’re taking the kids to Great America.”
“Then what about Friday?”
“Where?”
“Wherever you want.”
“What about your friend’s house in the country?”
“Call me on Friday morning to let me know what time you want to meet.”
“I will. And again, I’m sorry, Aaron. I can’t say that enough.”
“I’ll see you on Friday, all right?”
“Take care.”
Charlotte pressed the end button on her phone and dropped it onto the seat. As soon as she did, it rang again. She wondered what Aaron wanted now, until she saw her home phone number illuminated.
“Hey, baby,” she said to Curtis.
“Where are you?”
“Only five minutes away. I just left Anise’s.”
“Did you guys have a good time?”
“We did.”
“The kids and I had a great time, too. I’m missing Alicia already, and she hasn’t even gone home yet.”
“I know. She’s going to have to start visiting us a lot more often.”
“I agree.”
“So are they ready for Great America?”
“Matthew definitely is. He hasn’t talked about anything else since we got home. He keeps bragging to Alicia about all the huge roller coasters he’s going to get on with her, but you and I both know it’s all talk. Unless something has changed pretty drastically with him since last summer.”
Charlotte laughed. “I really doubt that, because if I remember correctly, he was scared to death.”
“He’s funny. But hey, I’ll see you when you get here.”
“I love you, Curtis.”
“Love you, too.”