CURTIS WALKED INTO THE BEDROOM, REMOVED HIS CLOTHING, AND headed straight for the shower. Charlotte was lying in bed, staring at him, but he’d purposely ignored her. As far as he was concerned, she didn’t even exist. Not until that DNA test was administered and the results were in. He knew she’d been agonizing over where he’d been all night, and it served her right. Actually, the whole reason he’d stayed out was just so he could mess with her. He’d wanted her to wake up every hour on the hour, looking for him—even better, he hoped she hadn’t slept at all. He wanted her to feel the pain he was feeling and then some. Before it was over, she would wish she had never met him. She would never sleep around like a whore, not again. Not on him or any other man. When he was finished treating her the way he planned on treating her, she would be the perfect wife to her next husband. She would think twice before betraying any one person she knew.
When he finished drying his body, he went into his closet and removed a cotton pullover and a pair of khaki shorts. After slipping them on, he searched for his sandals and walked toward the bed where Charlotte was still watching him.
“Where were you?”
“Out.”
“Out where?”
“Didn’t I tell you last night not to ever ask me that again?”
“But it’s eight o’clock in the morning, Curtis.”
He smoothed his hair down in the mirror, pretending not to hear her.
“And you know the church picnic is today,” she said.
“Yep. And that’s where I’m on my way to.”
“So what am I supposed to do, drive separately?”
“Exactly. Or do whatever you want for that matter, because I really don’t care.”
“We need to talk, Curtis. We have to work this out.”
“No, the only thing we have to do is find out whether I have a son or not. But other than that, I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“So, are you saying that this is it for us? Our marriage is over just like that?”
“Don’t talk to me anymore, okay? Because I’m really not in the mood,” he said and walked out of the room.
Then he went downstairs, got in his car, and left. He headed toward the park where they were holding the picnic and called Matthew while he was in transit.
“Hello?” Charlotte’s mother said.
“Hey, how are you?” he asked.
“I’m fine, Curtis. Did you and my baby have a good time last night?”
“The restaurant was as elegant as always, and the food was the best I’ve had in a long time.”
“Well, I’m glad.”
“I’m on my way to the church picnic to help with the meat and figured I’d holler at Matthew for a few minutes.”
“Okay, hold on a second. Matthew,” she called.
“Hello?” he said.
“Good morning, son.”
“Hi, Dad. What are you doing?”
“On my way to the church picnic.”
“Aw man, I forgot about that.”
“Remember, we told you that you were going to miss the picnic if you went to Chicago this week.”
“I know. Maybe you could come get me and bring me back when it’s over.”
Curtis laughed. “Do you realize how far away you are? It would take three hours round-trip. You know?”
“Okay,” he said, sounding disappointed. “Where’s Mom?”
“She’s at home.”
“Is she going to the picnic?”
“Yeah, she’ll be there in a little while.”
“Oh.”
“Have you been watching TV this morning?”
“Yep. I’m watching it now.”
“Figures,” Curtis said, laughing. “Well, I’d better let you go, but I just wanted to check in with you.”
“Okay, Dad, but call me when you leave the park, okay?”
“I will.”
“Love you, Dad.”
“Love you, too, Matthew.”
Curtis was so tired of shedding tears over his son that he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so sad, so hurt, and so angry all at once. There were so many emotions boiling inside him, and he was terrified that the DNA test would prove what he didn’t want to hear. He wanted to know the truth, but then again, he didn’t want to. He dreaded thinking about the possible outcome.
He pulled into a gas station, placed his gear in park, and dialed Alicia’s line but didn’t get an answer. Then he tried Tanya and James’s number, since Tanya was the person he really wanted to speak to.
“Hello?” she said.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine, Curtis. How are you?”
“Can you talk?”
“Sure. What about?”
“What I mean is, is James there?”
“No, he’s out golfing, and Alicia is at a carwash fund-raiser for cheerleading.”
“Oh.”
“So what’s up?”
“No, the question is, what isn’t?”
“Is this something I need to sit down for?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re not sick, are you?”
“Hmmph. No, nothing like that.”
“Okay, now what’s going on?”
“You know my friend Aaron?”
“Yes. Your best friend.”
“Well, Charlotte has been sleeping with him.”
“No way.”
“She has. And worse than that, she doesn’t know for sure if Matthew is my son, because she was sleeping with her cousin’s husband during the same time she was with me.”
“What?”
“It’s true. And it’s taking everything in me not to kick her out.”
“I know you’re hurt and you have a right to be, but Charlotte is still Matthew’s mother.”
“And if it wasn’t for him, I’d be filing for a divorce on Monday. And if I could take Matthew away from her, I would.”
“Have you spoken with her?”
“Last night, but then I left and got a hotel room. And this morning when I came back, I didn’t say any more to her than I had to, because I don’t see where there’s anything to talk about.”
“What about Aaron? Have you spoken to him?”
“Not since he called to tell me about Matthew.”
“I’m confused.”
Curtis explained the whole scenario to Tanya, and of course, she was stunned.
“I can’t believe this,” she said.
“Well, believe it, because it’s all true. And I’m telling you, Tanya, the more I sit here thinking about Aaron and the way he smiled in my face, the more I know I can’t let him get away with it.”
“Look, I know you’re upset, but you can’t start thinking like that. Going to jail just isn’t worth it. And if you don’t consider anything else, you need to remember Alicia and Matthew. They need their father, and there won’t be a thing you can do for them behind bars.”
“But if Matthew isn’t my son, then what?”
“Then you’re going to have to accept it and figure out how to deal with it. Because regardless of whether he is or not, you still need to be there for him. He’s only a child, and none of this is his fault.”
“But it won’t be that easy. I know you don’t understand, but finding out that Matthew belongs to someone else will be no different than cutting off my right arm. It will be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”
“You said the same thing when you had to leave our church and when we got divorced, but eventually you were able to move on.”
“This is different. This is about my being completely dedicated to a woman and having her betray me in the worst way. Not only did she sleep with my best friend, but she led me on about Matthew. She used and manipulated me to get what she wanted.”
Tanya didn’t comment.
And Curtis knew why.
“As much as I hate to say this, you did the same thing to me,” she finally said. “You did the same thing to Mariah, and you and I both know you hurt a lot of other people along the way.”
“And I’ll be sorry for that for the rest of my life. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret what I did to you and Alicia. What I destroyed.”
“It took me a long time to get past the pain, but I did. And so will you.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. I won’t ever get over this. I won’t ever trust another man or woman.”
“But what if Matthew is your son? Because there is a good chance he is.”
“I don’t know. Because I just don’t know if I could stay married to Charlotte. I resent her too much, and I’m not sure I could even stomach her on a daily basis.”
“But she’s your wife, Curtis.”
“And?”
“You need to try to work things out with her.”
“Please. She should just be happy she still has a house to sleep in or that I haven’t slit her throat.”
“Okay, look. You’re taking this too far. I know Charlotte was wrong, but Curtis, you’ve done just as much or worse than she has. I’m not saying that that justifies her actions, because it doesn’t, but you slept around on me for years, and I forgave you. It took me a while, but still, I forgave you. But most of all, you asked God to forgive you for everything. And Curtis, you and I both know, you did a lot of terrible things. Some things are too terrible to ever bring up again.”
He knew she was telling the truth, but he didn’t want to hear it. Not when this truth about him wasn’t eliminating his pain. Not when nothing he’d ever done could compare to the sins Charlotte had committed. Not when Aaron was probably sitting around right now laughing at the way he’d deceived Curtis. It was all enough to make Curtis ill. He wanted revenge more than ever.
“I hear what you’re saying, but it’s not helping me,” he said.
“Then what you need to do is pray. You’re a minister, Curtis. A pastor of a church.”
“But I’m also human just like everyone else.”
“I realize that, but you’re supposed to react a lot differently to adversity than the average person. I’m not saying you can help the way you feel, but as a minister, you should be asking God to help you. You should do exactly what you tell your members to do when they find themselves in unbearable situations. You need to listen to your own advice.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“But it’s possible.”
“I don’t know whether it is or not, because at the moment, I’m not sure of anything. I don’t even know if returning to the pulpit again was the right thing to do.”
“Why? Because you’re having a few problems in your life?”
“No, because I don’t see what good the pulpit is doing for me. I don’t see how being a minister and preaching the Word is helping anyone, because it certainly isn’t helping me.”
“What you need to do is find a quiet place to meditate. And you need to do it immediately.”
“Maybe.”
“Promise me that you will.”
“I’ll try.”
“Trying isn’t good enough.”
“Well, that’s the best I can do.”
“You know that’s not true. And if you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for your children. You need to be there for them, and you can’t be there when you’re feeling like this.”
“Hey, Tanya, thanks for listening, okay. I really appreciate it.”
“So what does that mean? You don’t want to hear any more of what I’m saying?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. But I really need to get to the park. Our church picnic is today.”
“Whatever you say, Curtis. I just hope you don’t do anything you’ll have to pay for later.”
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“Then I’ll let you go.”
“Take care, and tell Alicia I’ll speak to her later.”
“I will.”
Curtis sat quietly, yet furiously, trying to figure out which direction he should drive in. To the picnic, back home, or over to Aaron’s. If he went back home, he couldn’t be responsible for what might happen to Charlotte. If he ended up over at Aaron’s, he couldn’t guarantee much different for him. If he went to the picnic the way he’d planned, he wouldn’t have to hurt anybody. He wouldn’t have to do something drastic. At least not today, anyway. But the two of them would get what they had coming to them. There just wasn’t any way around it.
After praying for just over an hour, Charlotte picked up the phone and dialed Anise’s number. It rang a number of times, until the voice system answered. Charlotte wanted to leave a message but couldn’t. She wanted to apologize profusely and explain her side of the story, but she simply didn’t have the strength to. So she called Curtis instead.
“What?” he answered.
“Curtis, please don’t hang up. Please come back and talk to me.”
“No.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Charlotte, how many times are you planning to say that?”
“As many times as I have to.”
“Well, I wish you would stop it, because it’s not helping you, and it doesn’t change the way I feel.”
“But I love you, Curtis. I’ve always loved you no matter what.”
“And? What do you want me to do, give you some prize for it?”
“No. I’m just trying to make you see that this was all a mistake.”
“Call it whatever you want, but you and Aaron knew exactly what you were doing.”
“Curtis, you and I have been through so much together, so please don’t throw our marriage away like this.”
“You’re the one who threw it away when you lied to me about Matthew and when you decided to sleep with another man. Now, unless you have something important to say, let’s end this pointless conversation.”
“What about tonight at home, can we talk then?”
“I won’t be there.”
“Curtis, please. I’m begging you.”
“And you’re wasting your time, too.”
“But what about Matthew? What is he going to think if he comes home and realizes that things aren’t the same between us?”
“That’s your problem. You caused all of this, so you figure it out.”
“Fine, Curtis.”
“And when you see me at the picnic, don’t come over to me acting like we’re so in love with each other, because if you do, you’ll get your feelings hurt. Right in front of everybody. Now, good-bye.”
Charlotte hung up and tried to pretend that none of this was real. It was the only way she could keep her sanity.