Gabe attempted to quell the unexpected disappointment that splashed around his gut when Kenzie had to cancel their dinner date. Again.
An unexpected sleet and hail storm had moved in, and the coworker who was supposed to take over Kenzie’s shift had slid off the road on her way to work. Kenzie had apologized profusely, and he had pretended it was no big deal.
Kenzie wound up staying and covering the overnight shift. Gabe spent the night pacing the house.
When he tired of pacing, he hugged her pillow and breathed her scent. Breathing her in caused a tidal wave of memories and emotions. None of which he could handle.
As morning rays of sunshine streamed into the living room, Gabe brewed a pot of coffee. Sipping the much-needed caffeine, he found himself drifting to the spare room. The one she refused to use. The one with all the memories.
The one where dreams went to die.
He opened the door and stared at the one portrait he hadn’t had the heart to take down.
The day when he and Kenzie had been happiest.
The day they had promised to make each other happy for the rest of their lives.
The day they had been full of dreams and possibilities and hopes for the future. When they had conquered all of the potential problems that threatened a young couple and made a plan for their future.
A future where they would create and raise a family and their love would grow along with her belly.
They had been so eager to begin.
And they had finally conceived right before their second anniversary.
He closed the door and swore to himself, then used the adrenaline to force himself to function at work all day.
If he had known how rapidly his day would have plummeted downhill, he would have shut down the shop for the day and caught up on sleep.
Instead, he dealt with the sudden resignation of his top manager, the only person aside from him who could run the big jobs that were pouring in.
Without his help, Gabe would have to tell some of his customers that he’d be unable to fulfill their orders.
He had never, in the history of the company, had to disappoint his customers.
There was no time to hire and train a replacement, and his manager was unable to hang on beyond that afternoon. Gabe hadn’t registered what the reason was—something about an emergency out of state. Gabe knew he should feel bad for the guy, but he was too focused on how quickly his life had been flushed down the shitter.
Then again, he knew one person who knew as much about the company as he did…
And that person happened to be back in town.
***
“I’m sorry, Gabe, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
That’s what she should have said when he asked her to work with him.
Instead, she had nodded. Of course she’d help him. What choice did she have?
She called Antoine and asked if she could go to part-time. He had seemed disappointed at first, but he ultimately agreed.
Mackenzie couldn’t thank him enough.
She needed the nursing home job. Not for the money, though that was certainly a plus, but for the self-esteem.
For the feeling of caring and nurturing someone else.
For getting out of her own head.
For the chance—the slightest, most remote chance—that she wouldn’t lose herself in the world of Gabe. A world he had made clear was not open and accessible to her any longer.
Mackenzie splashed water on her face. Just a few brief weeks working with the man whose shoulders she had once built her dreams upon. Maybe less if Gabe could hire a replacement and she could train them sooner.
She let herself into the shop an hour before they were scheduled to open, using the same keyless entry code she had always had.
Waves of emotion rippled over her as the smell of ink and new paper brought her back to the days of working side by side with Gabe as they built this business from the ground up.
After four years of physical separation during their college years, when they had decided that they had to follow their own paths and see if their relationship could survive a long-distance relationship, working together had been a dream come true. For her, at least. She could see, smell, touch, and communicate with Gabe any time she wanted to. At home, at work, always.
She had never felt suffocated. And he had never acted like he was being strangled by her presence.
Until the difficulties had begun, and the walls around her—regardless of where she was, if Gabe was there with her—started closing on her with daggers of steel preparing to impale her.
Mackenzie fought off a panic attack, forcing herself to breathe.
She couldn’t start the day this way.
Gabe needed her to be fully functioning. She could do this.
By the time he arrived—promptly at eight—she had already warmed up the machines and printed out an itinerary of jobs that needed assigning.
“Eager to get to work, I see.” He handed her a take-out cup of mint hot cocoa, her favorite kind.
“Thank you,” she held the cup to her nose and inhaled the minty chocolatey decadence. She hadn’t had one of these since, well, since he last gave her one.
She pointedly ignored his assumption that she was eager to work. She couldn’t exactly tell him that she had been eager to avoid him.
She shifted into business gear, running down the lists she had made on her clipboard, inquiring about the current employees. She was amazed at how easily she could shift back into her old position as partner. Though she had never been very good at standing up to anyone, she had always excelled at running her shop smoothly and efficiently.
Slipping back in felt the same as slipping on her favorite pair of worn-in jeans.
“I thought you’d be a little rusty, but I guess I was wrong.”
She broke eye contact almost as soon as she had locked eyes with him. She couldn’t handle the pride in his expression, the joy in the tiny crinkles beside his eyes.
She didn’t want him to be proud of her for this.
This wasn’t her. It wasn’t hers. It had nothing to do with the person she was. The person she had morphed into.
Heck, she didn’t know who she was or who she was becoming. How could she expect him to?
“If there’s a different way of doing things, let me know.”
“No, you’re perfect.”
He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Before she could process the gesture, he was sauntering off in the other direction. Whistling between sips of coffee.
This was too familiar. Too much like before.
Too likely to break her heart again.
***
Gabe handed the box of chocolates he had picked up on the way home to Kenzie. She deserved the treat.
“What’s this for?”
She held the box carefully, as if venomous snakes might tear through the cardboard.
“For your hard work this week. It’s much appreciated.”
She looked away. She didn’t smile.
He sat on the couch beside her.
“You are far more competent than Pete ever was. He was good, don’t get me wrong, but you’re a natural. You get the place.”
She rubbed the top of the box, but still refused to look at him.
“Kenz? Everything okay?”
When she looked up, her eyes were misty.
“Shit. Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” She shook her head with a slight, haunting smile. “I just got off the phone with my mom. She’s been hurt.”
“What happened?” His heart thudded against his chest.
“She slipped on the ice. She’s okay. But she needs some help for a little while—she had emergency surgery on her leg. I have to go stay with her.”
He clenched his jaw. She was leaving him.
“I’ll still be able to work at the shop—you don’t have to worry about that. One of her friends will check in with her when I can’t be there.”
That wasn’t what worried him. But what did? Why the hell did his heart feel like it had leapt into his dry throat? Why did he suddenly feel like he wanted to punch a hole in the wall?
“I know it’s a violation of the court agreement to live apart, but I won’t tell if you won’t.”
He shook his head, desperate to rid it of the dark cloud that returned full blast at the idea of being alone in this house without her.
The past week had brought light into his mind again—the tiniest sliver, but any light was a welcome respite from the gloom he had been living with for over a year.
Gabe watched as Mackenzie packed her few items into her bag. She was leaving. She didn’t even plan to leave a trace of herself behind.
“I’ll go with you.”
His bold statement surprised her as much as it surprised him. Her pixie mouth formed into an “O,” and her cheeks drained of color. She searched around the room as if looking for the demon who had spoken.
“I’ll stay with you at your mother’s house.”
Let her argue her way out of this one.
She had come back to make their marriage work. He knew that wouldn’t happen, but he wasn’t going to allow her off too easily after tearing the scar off his still-fresh sores. The sores she had left to fester.
“That’s really okay.” She rushed to excuse him. “I swear I won’t tell the court. I’ll give them all positive updates.”
“I don’t want to lie.”
His mind made up, he stormed past her to retrieve a bag of his own. He carelessly tossed clothes in before moving on to the bathroom for his shower stuff and toothbrush.
“When are we leaving?”
“Gabe, we need to think about this…”
“Think about what? We are under court mandate to live together until our next hearing date. You need to live with your mother, so that means I need to go with you.”
Watching her facial expression vacillate between nervousness and outright fear, he felt a smile creep up like a burglar canvasing an unsecure neighborhood.
“Don’t worry—your mother loves me.”
“Of course she does, but—”
“I’ll meet you there.” He tossed the words over his shoulder as he grabbed his keys and sauntered out of the house, leaving her to feel the burn of being alone.