Irish
Fuck me! I hadn’t seen Janessa Rodriguez in so damn long. It still blew my mind that she’d walked into the Devils’ clubhouse. I felt like a complete and utter shit for hurting her the way I had, but it was the right thing to do. If her dad even thought I’d looked at his little girl with any kind of interest, I’d be a dead man. Even though I’d kissed the slut sitting on my lap, after Janessa had walked out, I’d dumped the woman on the floor. I was disgusted with myself.
The years had been really fucking good to her. She still had a pretty olive complexion and dark hair that looked so damn soft. She’d sprouted breasts that were more than a handful since the last time I’d seen her, and hips that screamed she was definitely all woman now. All it had taken was one look and I’d been hard as hell, and not for the woman who had been in my lap.
Janessa had been gone a few hours now, and I figured she was back home where she belonged. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the image of her standing in the doorway, all those gorgeous curves. But it was the look of anguish in her eyes that would haunt me forever. I hadn’t been a saint a day in my life. After meeting the Reaper’s daughter, I’d felt like I was in a downward spiral. She’d been just a kid, a teenager, and my reaction to her had sickened me. So I’d started screwing any woman who offered. Now I was wishing I hadn’t done that.
I’d never counted on her showing up here in Devils’ territory. It had been five years, and I knew she was a grown-ass woman now, but I’d figured her daddy would have her locked up somewhere secure. Away from men like me. Hell, he might have even asked a Reaper to marry her just to keep her safe. Did he even know she’d come here? She had to have been looking for me. I just didn’t understand why. Yeah, she’d plagued my thoughts since the day I’d met her, but surely she hadn’t been waiting for me all this time. Had she? I’d known when she turned eighteen because my VP had made sure I was aware. Maybe he’d thought she’d be the one to tame me, or had just hoped for some sort of reaction. I hadn’t made it a secret that I didn’t plan to settle down. Even knowing she was legal, I’d not had the courage to go after her, though, and had kept my distance. Now I was second-guessing that decision.
The clubhouse doors flew open and Scratch came inside. He never showed up on party nights, not since settling down with his wife and kids. The look on his face told me something was seriously wrong, and all my brothers went on alert. But he ignored every last one of them and came to me. I just couldn’t tell if he wanted to hit me, or console me.
“We need to talk,” Scratch said. “Somewhere quiet.”
“Something wrong, VP?” I didn’t think I’d screwed up lately. Well, other than hurting Janessa.
“Church. Now.”
His tone demanded I obey. I followed Scratch to the back of the clubhouse and through the double doors at the end of the hall. I took a seat and Scratch leaned against the opposite wall, staring at me with his arms folded and a fierce look in his eyes.
“Did I do something?” I asked.
“There’s been an accident.”
I sat up straighter. “Clarity? The kids?”
The VP had an awesome wife and kids, and any one of us would lay down our lives for them. But if Clarity were in trouble, I didn’t think Scratch would be standing in front of me.
He shook his head. “My family is fine. This isn’t about me, son. It’s about you.”
“I don’t understand. You know I don’t have any family here, except the Devils. What’s going on?”
Scratch rubbed at his beard, then sat down in his usual seat. “A blue truck was found along the road heading out of town. It had gone off the road and crashed into a tree. The driver isn’t in good shape, but there are signs that something else happened.”
I still didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. I didn’t know anyone with a blue truck. I wished he’d just tell me what the hell was going on. The suspense was going to drive me crazy.
“The truck had a Harley Davidson sticker on the back. And Alabama plates,” he said.
My gut clenched and I gripped the table. The only person I knew who had been in this area with Alabama tags would have been Janessa.
“The Highway Patrol called Cinder, but he didn’t answer, so they tried me next. They thought maybe the driver was related to someone at the club. They found a wallet in a purse. What I want to know is what the fuck Janessa Rodriguez was doing in Devils territory unannounced, and why didn’t someone tell me she was here?”
Oh, God. It suddenly hurt to breathe.
“Janessa,” I said, my voice cracking. “Is she… will she be okay?”
“Someone beat that poor girl half to death, ripped up her clothes…”
I couldn’t help it. I leaned over and threw up.
“She wasn’t sexually assaulted,” Scratch said, “if that’s what you’re thinking. The assholes did piss on her, though. Cut her up, beat her all to hell. They’re hoping to run DNA and figure out who did this to her, but if they aren’t in the system, then it won’t do much good. In the meantime, they haven’t been able to contact her next of kin.”
My heart felt like someone was trying to rip it from my chest. I stood and pulled my keys from my pocket. “I’m going to see her,” I said.
“Son, the only reason I can think of for that little girl to be here at all was to come see you. What the fuck happened? Why was she on a road headed south and not going back home? Or an even better question, why the fuck wasn’t she with you?”
South? I didn’t know. I’d seen how devastated she was when she’d left, and it was my fault. I’d done that to her. I’d thought she’d go home, get on with her life and find some guy her dad would approve of, maybe go off to college or some shit.
“She came here,” I said. “I didn’t talk to her. I was… I was with someone. A club slut. She saw the two of us and she left.”
Scratch cursed and leaned back in his chair. “When Tex wants to remove your balls, I’m not standing in his way. That was a shitty thing to do, Irish, and you damn well know it. That girl was completely hung up on you from the moment she laid eyes on you. Hell, anytime I go see my daughter and grandkids, she still asks about you, even though you never went after her when she turned eighteen.”
I hadn’t known that. Yeah, he’d brought up Janessa from time to time, but I hadn’t known that she’d asked about me, still thought about me. I’d figured when she turned eighteen and I kept my distance that she’d move on. Scratch had only brought her up in passing after that point, almost as if he were feeling me out, but I hadn’t understood why. Until now.
“She’s at the county hospital. You know I have to call the Reapers, right?” he asked.
“Just… give me enough time to see her. Wait twenty minutes before you call. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need to make things right with her. Is she awake?”
“No. She was unconscious when they found her, and when I got the call, she hadn’t woken yet. You need to prepare yourself. From what I hear, it’s pretty bad.”
I gave a quick nod, then stood up. I stared down at the puke on the floor but Scratch waved me off.
“I’ll have a Prospect clean that up. Go see your woman and hope you don’t have to say goodbye while you’re there,” he said. “And, Irish?”
I met his gaze.
“Despite what you think, that girl is your woman. Don’t fuck it up again.”
The thought of Janessa never waking up, of her dying, made me want to throw up again. I rushed through the clubhouse, not stopping even as my brothers called out to me. I got on my bike and drove like a bat out of hell all the way to the county hospital. When I got there, I ran inside and stopped at the information desk.
“I need a room number for Janessa Rodriguez.”
The nurse tapped on her keyboard, then gave me a narrowed-eye look. “You her family? It says here she can’t have visitors except family.”
“She’s my… fiancée.”
I’d worry about the lie later. Right now, I needed to see her, needed to know that she was still alive. The nurse didn’t look like she believed me, but she made a grumbling sound and then motioned to the elevators down the hall before handing me a slip of paper. “Fourth floor. She’s in ICU room 3.”
I tried not to run, since it was probably frowned upon in a hospital, but I did walk really damn fast. When I got to the ICU, there was another desk with more nurses. It was like trying to get through a bunch of watchdogs in scrubs. I showed them the piece of paper in my hand and I was waved past. Finding room three wasn’t hard. My hand shook as I slid the glass door open and stepped inside. I pulled it shut behind me, hoping for a little privacy.
Machines beeped and there was something strapped over her mouth. I couldn’t hold back the tears as I looked at her poor, battered face. There were cuts down her arms and peeking out of the top of her hospital gown. I eased down into the chair next to her bed and reached for her hand, holding it gently for fear of hurting her more.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said. “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted you to go home.”
And that wasn’t even entirely true. I’d known it was best for her to go home, but I damn sure hadn’t wanted her to leave. Not really. It had been hard not getting up and running after her, holding her tight and kissing her the way I wanted. I’d thought about Janessa way too fucking much over the years, feeling like a sick bastard because of her age. I’d known when she turned eighteen, but no matter how much I’d wanted to go to her, I’d held back. The Devil’s Boneyard and Dixie Reapers might have some family connections between the clubs, but it didn’t mean that Tex wanted me anywhere near his daughter.
“I need you to wake up, sweetheart. I need you to fight and come back to me. I swear I’ll make it up to you,” I said, watching her face for any sign that she might be listening.
Someone walked in and I saw a nurse checking the machines.
“She can hear you,” the nurse said. “Keep talking and maybe she’ll wake up.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. My voice might just make her want to sleep forever, and after the way I’d treated her, I wouldn’t blame her in the slightest. I’d been an asshole, even if I’d thought I was doing it for the right reasons. If that was the last moment we shared, I’d never forgive myself.
“Please, Nessa,” I said, my voice hoarse and my throat tight. “Wake up and talk to me. Call me an asshole. Tell me to go to hell. Anything.”
“I take it the two of you fought before this happened?” the nurse asked. “We know she was in an accident, then attacked, possibly by whoever caused her to go off the road.”
“She was running. From me,” I admitted, my heart being ripped in two just acknowledging that. “She never should have been on that road. I pushed her away, broke her heart. If I’d known…”
The nurse gave me a soft smile.
“I wish I could take it back,” I said. “If she doesn’t wake up, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“The nurse at the information desk says you claim to be her fiancée. She wasn’t wearing a ring when they brought her in,” the nurse said, an eyebrow arched like she didn’t believe me for a moment.
“I haven’t gotten her one yet. The proposal was spur of the moment. She deserves the perfect ring.”
The lies were coming easier, but I’d do anything to remain with Janessa.
The nurse still didn’t look completely convinced, but she let the matter drop. She looked at the monitors again, checked whatever liquids were going into Janessa’s IV, and then she left the room. I didn’t know how long I’d have before Tex showed up and kicked my ass. I’d deserve whatever he did to me, and I’d take it. I just hoped I had some time with Janessa before he got here, maybe even see her open her eyes at least once.
The minutes ticked by, but my girl didn’t even move, other than the slow rise and fall of her chest. At one point, I started to fall asleep, until blue lights started flashing and an alarm went crazy. I looked at the monitors and couldn’t hold back my cry as I saw the screen showing her heartbeat was a straight line.
Nurses and doctors rushed in, pushing me out of the way. One of those carts you see in the movies was rolled in, and I was shoved into the hall, where I slid down the wall and didn’t even bother to hold back my tears. I sobbed like a damn baby as they worked on the woman I’d only ever admitted to myself that I loved. The blue light went off and the alarms stopped. Two nurses came out of the room and one stopped in front of me.
“You can see her again,” she said.
“Is she…” I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word dead.
“We were able to bring her back. She’s stable for the moment,” the nurse said.
I stood and wiped the moisture off my cheeks, then went back into Janessa’s room. I reclaimed the chair I’d sat in before, and took her hand again. I talked to her until my voice was hoarse and I didn’t know what the hell else to say. Light was coming in through her window, and still no one had shown up. I didn’t know what to make of that. It made me wonder if maybe Tex didn’t know just yet. Whatever the reason her parents hadn’t arrived, I was going to enjoy what time I had with Janessa, and for the first time since I was a kid, I was going to pray really damn hard. I’d pray that she’d wake up, that she’d open her eyes and be okay. Even if she slapped my face when she opened her eyes, I wouldn’t care. I just wanted her back, wanted to know she would live. Nothing else mattered.
I talked to Janessa about anything and everything. Well, not quite everything. I left out the women and club business. Even when my throat was sore, I just sipped some coffee and kept talking. Hours passed. At one point, I would have sworn her fingers twitched, but nothing else happened. I waited, hoping she would wake up. I convinced myself I’d imagined it and started talking about my favorite movies and why I liked each one. When I felt her fingers twitch again, I knew it had to be real. I pushed the call button and waited for a nurse.
“Everything all right in here?” a blonde nurse asked as she entered the room.
“Her fingers moved. I thought they had earlier and then figured I was just imagining it, but they just moved again.”
She gave me a warm smile and moved closer to check on Janessa. She checked the solutions hanging on the pole, then watched the monitors a moment. Did she think I’d made it up? I knew her fingers had moved! Janessa had to be waking up, didn’t she? I refused to believe that she’d never open her eyes again.
“You let me know when you’re ready to let other people in here,” the nurse said.
Wait. What? “Other people?” I asked.
She nodded. “There’s a room full of them. We only allow one or two people in at a time, and since you’re her fiancé and were here first, we’ve let you have as much time with her as you want.”
“Her parents… are they here?” I asked, almost dreading the answer.
“Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez are among those waiting. There are some men out there with the same emblem on their vests as you, and the others match your fiancée’s father. They’ve been patient, but I’m not sure how much longer I can hold them off.”
Shit. If I had known they were out there, I’d have let them come see Janessa before now. I didn’t have a clue about the rules at the hospital, much less in ICU. I hoped Tex wasn’t ready to kick my ass.
“I’ll step out and let someone else come visit with her,” I said.
As I made a move to stand, the fingers in my hand twitched and then tightened as they held onto me. My breath stalled in my lungs as I stared at our joined hands, then lifted my gaze to Janessa’s face. Her lids fluttered, but she seemed to have trouble opening them all the way.
“Janessa?” I held her hand a little tighter. “Come back to me, sweetheart. Open your eyes.”
It felt like it took forever, but eventually her eyes opened and locked with mine. My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest as I stared down at her. She lifted her other hand and touched the ventilator that was over her mouth.
“Don’t, baby. It’s been helping you breathe,” I said, moving her hand away from the apparatus.
“I’ll get someone to come in and remove it,” the nurse said. “Her doctor will probably stop in shortly. Now that she’s awake, there will be some questions we need answered.”
“Janessa, there are other people who want to see you. Your parents are here,” I said.
She shook her head and held onto my hand, refusing to let go. More medical staff came in and they managed to remove the tube from her throat. She coughed and gasped, even gagged. Someone gave her some ice chips to soothe the ache.
“Seamus,” she said, her voice croaking.
“I’m right here,” I assured her.
“Don’t leave,” she said.
I wouldn’t, not if she didn’t want me to. I’d sit here and hold her hand all day and all night. If only two people were permitted in the room at a time, they’d just have to deal with me remaining in this chair. Whatever Janessa wanted I’d give to her.
“Well, there’s our miracle,” a doctor said as he came in and approached the bed. “We lost you for a moment there. Guess this guy gave you a good reason to come back.”
Janessa smiled at me, then winced as her lip cracked and started bleeding. I didn’t know who had hurt her like this, but if I ever found them, I’d make them pay. How anyone could beat the hell out of someone so sweet was unfathomable. I gave her hand another squeeze, then moved out of the way so the doctor could check her over.
“We’re going to leave the monitors in place for now, but we’ll lower the dosage on the pain medication you’ve been receiving,” the doctor said. “We don’t want you to become addicted, but if you can’t handle the pain, let us know and we’ll adjust it. The other bag has nutrients that you’re going to need if you’re going to properly heal.”
“She has family in the waiting room,” I said. “She doesn’t want me to leave, but I was told there’s a two-person limit for visitors in the ICU. Is there any way you’d let both her parents come in at the same time?”
“Of course,” the doctor said. “I’ll make sure the nurses’ station is aware of the allowance. There’s two small boys out there, though, and I’m sorry but I can’t permit them in here. Ages fourteen and up only in the ICU. It’s a hospital rule that I can’t break.”
“Noah and Clayton,” Janessa said in her croaky voice.
“Maybe you can make a video on your mom’s phone. You can say hi to your brothers and they’ll see that you’re all right.” I winced. “Or maybe it would be better if you just talked to them. The bruising on your face might frighten them.”
She reached up to touch her cheek, but I pulled her hand away.
“How bad do I look?” she asked, a tear slipping down her cheek.
“You’re beautiful,” I assured her.
The medical staff left us alone and I sat in the chair by the bed again. I knew I needed to talk to her, to apologize and find out what the hell had happened on that road. Why had she been heading south and not back home to Alabama? They’d said the doctor needed information, yet he hadn’t asked any questions. I wondered why, until a Florida Highway Patrol officer stepped into the room, the doctor right on his heels.
“Miss Rodriguez, I’d like to ask you a few questions,” the officer said. “My name is Sanchez. I’m a Florida State Trooper, and I’m the one who found you.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“Can you tell us why you were on that road by yourself?” he asked.
Janessa looked at me and I gave her a tight smile.
“It’s my fault,” I said. “I tried to do the right thing, and it backfired in a big way. I know I’m not good enough for Janessa, and I never will be. I thought she’d be better off back home, so I did something to chase her off.”
“And what’s that?” Sanchez asked.
“I kissed another woman,” I admitted, feeling like shit just thinking about the look on Janessa’s face yesterday.
Sanchez snorted and muttered something that sounded like “dumbass” before pulling out his pad and pen. I wasn’t going to argue with him, not when he was right. I really had been a dumbass, and my stupid move had pushed Janessa to take off on her own, where she’d been ambushed in the dark. If I had just grown some balls and talked to her, then maybe she wouldn’t be lying in the ICU right now.
“Miss Rodriguez, do you remember why you ran off the road?” the trooper asked.
“Gator,” she said, her voice still raspy. “Saw a gator in the road. Then it was gone.”
Sanchez made a note, but there was something in his eyes. He knew something about that gator, and I wanted to know what it was. Had there been a real gator on the road, or a decoy that someone had used to cause Janessa’s accident? And why had they done it? If there had been other instances like what happened to Janessa, I wasn’t aware of it, which meant it hadn’t been leaked to the news channels yet.
“And after that?” he asked.
“Three men. They beat me until I passed out. I woke with my clothes torn, and…” Another tear slipped down her cheek.
“You weren’t sexually assaulted,” I told her, knowing exactly what she’d been worried about. At least there was one bit of good news I could give her. “The doctors checked.”
She took a shaky breath and nodded. The tension in her shoulders eased a bit, and I hated that she’d been scared she’d been violated. They may have kicked the shit out of her and pissed on her, but they hadn’t raped her. For that, I would always be grateful. Wouldn’t stop me from putting the fuckers six feet under if I ever found them.
“Can you describe the men?” Sanchez asked.
“No. But… they were bikers. I think. They had leather cuts but I couldn’t see a club name, or their road names. Just a skull on fire,” she said, her voice gaining strength the more she spoke.
My back went ramrod straight at the description of the cuts and I looked at Sanchez. Yeah, he knew what that meant too. It seemed the local clubs weren’t the only ones on alert about those assholes. But if law enforcement was watching for them too, that meant the rest of us needed to be careful how we handled the situation. I gave Janessa some more ice chips while the officer scribbled some notes.
“Your truck was off the road. You were found next to it, but there was blood on the roadway. Did they attack you, then drag you into the grass?” Sanchez asked.
“No. They came at me on the street, started hitting me and kicking me, tore my clothes and cut me. I blacked out at some point and woke up long enough to see them walking away. I don’t know how long I was unconscious. When I came to, I started dragging myself to the truck, but one of them came back. He hit me in the head and a little bit later I heard some motorcycles start, from the rumble I’d say at least one was a Harley. I managed to drag myself the rest of the way to my truck and got my phone. I dialed 9-1-1 and that’s the last thing I remember,” Janessa said.
“Thank you for your time, Miss Rodriguez,” Sanchez said. “I’ll be in touch if we get any leads on the men who attacked you. Until then, please stay in the area in case we have more questions. Your truck was taken to the impound lot, but you can pick it up whenever you leave the hospital. There was some damage, but it should be drivable.”
After he walked out, I tried to soothe Janessa the best I could, and I knew I needed to talk to her about what happened at the clubhouse. Preferably before her parents came in, and before a nurse said something about us being engaged. The last thing I needed was her losing her shit in the ICU and getting me kicked out, and her possibly flatlining again. It was the last part that had me the most worried. I’d already lost her once, even if only for a brief moment, but it would haunt me forever.
“Can I talk to you about something before any other visitors come in?” I asked.
“Guess it depends on what you want to say,” she said.
“About last night, at the clubhouse. It was an asshole thing to do, and I’m sorry. You have no idea how fucking sorry I am. I thought I was doing the right thing,” I said.
She blinked at me, then just stared. It was when her cheeks started to flush that I got a clue she was about to erupt. Maybe I should have held off on the conversation after all. I’d thought apologizing might help, but apparently it was the wrong damn thing to do.
“Kissing some whore was the right thing to do?” she demanded. “If you didn’t want to see me, you could have told me to fuck off, Seamus. And yes, I used your fucking name. You might have earned the name Irish with your club, but you haven’t earned shit with me.”
I shifted on the chair, suddenly uncomfortable that I was getting hard while she was in a hospital bed and slinging curses at my head. Despite everything, seeing that fire inside her did something to me. I liked this version much better than the meek woman who had run off after I’d kissed the blonde, even if I was worried she might get too stressed. If she flatlined again, I didn’t think I could handle it. I wished she’d called me on my shit at the clubhouse. I likely would have hauled her off to the nearest empty room and kissed the hell out of her, and she definitely wouldn’t have been on that fucking road. Not that what happened to her was her fault, not in the least. If that blame lay anywhere, it was at my feet.
“Your dad will never let us be together, Nessa. You know it and I damn well know it.”
“My dad doesn’t get a say in my life, Seamus. I’m a grown woman and I can date whoever I want to. If I want to fuck every guy in your club, then that’s my choice.”
I stood so fast the chair went flying. “Like fucking hell! Did someone come on to you while you were there last night?”
She squared her jaw and didn’t answer, which told me plenty. I didn’t know who had talked to her, but I’d find out, then I’d put my fist through their damn face. Brother or not, every last fucker in my club had better stay away from Janessa. Just because I couldn’t have her -- shouldn’t have her -- didn’t mean she wasn’t mine. Whether I’d wanted to admit it or not, she’d been mine from the day I’d met her.
A nurse came into the room, her lips thinned and her eyes flashing. “If you’re going to upset the patient, and the rest of the ICU, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We let you stay since you’re her fiancé, but no more special treatment. Quiet down or leave.”
She left as quickly as she’d arrived and I turned to find Janessa gaping at me.
“You’re my what?” she asked.
I reached over and shut the sliding door, hoping to give us a little privacy for whatever Janessa was about to say. The last thing I needed was for the hospital to find out I’d lied this entire time. If Janessa threw me out, it was one thing, but I wasn’t about to go just because a nurse was in a snit. The rule about only family seeing her was bullshit. No way I would have left her in this place all alone, not with her family two hours away.
“Fiancé,” I said.
“They must have beat me worse than I thought. I seem to have forgotten your proposal, unless it was your tongue down the blonde’s throat. In which case, I don’t accept.”
I tipped my head back and stared at the ceiling. I should have known she wouldn’t make this easy on me. Not that I deserved any leniency from her. If I’d just admitted how I felt, that I’d loved her all these years even though that was completely insane, then she wouldn’t have been hurt. I’d known all this time that screwing around was the wrong thing to do. I knew that plenty of my brothers did the same thing, but I’d taken it to a new level, and I wasn’t the least bit proud of myself right now. My past was going to hurt Janessa. Probably made me the biggest asshole in the state, possibly the region. No. There was no contest. I was definitely the biggest asshole in the region.
“What do you want to hear? That I puked like a pussy when I heard you’d been hurt and were in the hospital? That I blame myself for what happened? Or do you want to know that I’ve thought about you every fucking day for five years, even when it made me a sick fuck because you were just a kid?” I asked. “And no, I didn’t think about fucking you back then, but you stayed on my mind just the same. Couldn’t escape you no matter how hard I tried. So, yeah, I’ve screwed around with the club sluts. They’ve just been a quick release and a distraction. I wanted to go after you when you turned eighteen, but I didn’t. I knew Tex would kick my ass if I showed up on his doorstep.”
Janessa was quiet as she looked up at me. I didn’t see anger etched on her features like I’d expected. Instead, there was a cautious kind of hope. I didn’t know which part of my speech had done that, but at least she wasn’t screaming at me anymore. I wasn’t entirely sure that hope was a good thing, though. I still had to deal with her dad, and he was going to be pissed, especially since he’d been cooling his heels in the waiting room while I was back here with his daughter.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I never wanted to hurt you, Nessa. I just didn’t see a way for us to be together. I thought if I pushed you away, then you’d be mad enough you’d find someone else.”
“What about you?” she asked. “Would you find someone else?”
I shrugged. “Honestly? I probably would have continued on the way I have the last five years. But if you’re asking if I’d have ever taken an old lady or gotten married? Probably not.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Seamus. I never have. I waited for you, and when you never came for me, I decided I was going to come to you. I just didn’t expect…” She bit her lip. “My mom tried to warn me. She told me that you weren’t the same guy I’d met before. She said you were wild now, but I didn’t listen. If I’d just stayed home…”
“Hey,” I said, reaching for her hand again. “None of this is your fault, baby. Not even a little. You want to blame someone, you blame me. I was an asshole and you ran from me. If I’d handled things differently, then you never would have been on that road.”
“Seamus, I…”
“You’re grounded until you’re ninety,” growled a voice behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Tex and Kalani.
“Daddy, I’m sorry,” Janessa said. “I just wanted to come see Seamus, and I knew you wouldn’t let me.”
“So, you convinced your mom to let you go,” Tex said as he came farther into the room. “Do you have any idea what it did to her knowing that you were hurt? She’d let you leave, and then we get a call that you’re in the hospital.”
Kalani placed a hand on his arm. “You’re going to upset her.”
“We should keep her calm,” I said. “She already flatlined once.”
Janessa gasped. “I did?”
Tex glared at me and I winced. Probably shouldn’t have said that, at least not where Janessa could hear me. I had a feeling her daddy-dearest would be having a conversation with me soon, and might possibly use his fists to drive home his point. I didn’t think he’d care that I hadn’t made him cool his heels in the waiting room on purpose.
“I died?” Janessa asked softly.
“Yeah, sweetheart. You did,” I said, taking her hand. “Scared the shit out of me. I was talking to you, trying to get you to wake up, and the next minute you flatlined and a siren went off. When they kicked me out of here, I was scared you weren’t coming back.”
I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Kalani standing next to me.
“Thank you for being here for our daughter,” she said. “The nurses said you refused to leave her side.”
“They also said you’re her fucking fiancé,” Tex said. “And I know that can’t be true, so what the hell is going on? How is it Janessa is lying here if she was with you?”
I knew I had to tell them, that they would find out sooner or later. I only hoped it didn’t cause a problem between our clubs. With Tank’s sister married to Jackal, and my VP’s daughter married to Bull, the last thing we needed was a war starting between us, all because I fucked up. It was my fault, though. I’d almost lost Janessa because I was an idiot. Tex wouldn’t care that I was sorry.
“I fucked up,” I said.
“Seamus, I told you it wasn’t your fault,” Janessa said, sounding tired.
I focused on her, giving her hand a slight squeeze. She gave me a small smile, and then her eyes started to close. I felt my heart stop for a second as my gaze jerked to the monitors, scared shitless that I was about to lose her again, but it seemed she was only sleeping.
“You let her call you that?” Tex asked. “You earned the name Irish.”
My lips twitched in amusement. “As your daughter pointed out, I may have earned the name Irish with my club, but I haven’t earned shit with her and she’ll call me whatever the hell she wants. I’m paraphrasing, mostly.”
Kalani moved to Janessa’s other side and smoothed her hair back. “She never did pull any punches. Once she was secure with the Dixie Reapers, and the threat of the asylum was gone, Janessa got stronger and sassier. I sometimes wish I was half as strong as she is.”
Tex went to his wife, pulling her against his side. “You are one of the strongest women I know. Our daughter wouldn’t be half as amazing as she is if it weren’t for you. And if you hadn’t sacrificed yourself, she might not be here at all. I love you and so does Janessa.”
Kalani nodded but didn’t take her gaze off her daughter.
“Janessa came to see me, but I wasn’t expecting her,” I said. “I didn’t react well, so she ran. If I had handled things differently, she wouldn’t have been on that road.”
“It’s not your fault she showed up out of the blue,” Tex said. “As often as she’s talked about you, asked if you were coming to the compound, I should have known she would eventually come to the Devils’ territory.”
“None of us is to blame,” Kalani said. “The men who did this to her, that’s who we blame. I want them found, and I want them to pay.”
“Your wife is right,” I said. “Janessa said the men who beat her wore cuts, but she didn’t see a name. Only a skull with flames.”
Tex started swearing and pacing the small space. Good to know I wasn’t the only one alarmed. If the Dixie Reapers and Devil’s Boneyard came together, then maybe this could be handled before the Highway Patrol got close enough to ask more questions. Although, the look on the officer’s face told me that they might already know quite a bit.