Janessa
Waking up with Seamus wrapped around me was a pleasant surprise. The feel of his hard cock brought heat to my cheeks, but it also made me wetter than I’d ever been before. I’d never seen a naked man in person, not even living at the compound. With so many of the Reapers settling down and becoming family men, things had been curtailed from what I’d gathered. I once overheard a conversation between Flicker and Tempest, talking about the good ol’ days when nudity was more the norm than family barbeques. I’d mentioned it to my dad and he said they were just jealous they didn’t have beautiful wives like my mom, or awesome kids like me and my brothers. With Flicker, I could see that as being true, not so much for Tempest. He was as wild as they came.
It made me think of what my mom had said about Seamus, that he’d gone wild. He’d admitted to having been with a lot of women, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It wasn’t like we’d had an agreement of any sort, and I’d been a kid until the past year. Didn’t make it hurt any less, though. In my mind and in my heart, I’d been his and he’d been mine.
Seamus had said a lot of things during my hospital stay, made me believe he was ready for a commitment. What if he’d just felt guilty, though? It would explain why he hadn’t touched me. Other than a few kisses while I was bedridden, he hadn’t made a move. I suppose he could just be giving me time to heal, like he’d claimed, but part of me had to wonder if that’s all it was. I wanted him, wanted to know what it felt like to be well and truly loved by someone. Was he running scared? Or had he changed his mind about us now that I was under his roof?
I tried to roll over and faced Seamus, but he had an iron grip on me. I felt him nuzzle my neck and I wiggled against him. He pressed his cock tighter against me, and I wondered for a moment if he was awake and just fucking with me. When he mumbled something and ground against me, I decided he was still sleeping. The way he’d acted yesterday, I had no doubt that if he were awake, he’d have put some distance between us by now. It was fun to tease him and get him wound up, but what I really wanted was for him to take charge and tell me what he wanted. I didn’t much care for the Seamus who seemed afraid he would hurt me. Yes, I’d had the hell beat out of me and had been hospitalized for about a week, but I was home and I was healthy. My ribs were still bruised and tender, but my cuts were nearly healed. The areas that had been a nasty black and blue had faded to a yellowish green and would probably be gone completely in another few days.
“Seamus,” I said softly, wondering if I should wake him.
He kissed the back of my neck and tightened his hold on me.
“Seamus, are you awake?” I asked.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still rough from sleeping.
“Not that I mind the fact you’re turned-on this morning, but I was kind of wondering if you were going to do something about it.”
His body tensed, and then he groaned before putting some space between us. I hated that fucking space. Turning to face him, I cuddled close again. His gaze fastened on me, and I had to admit he looked pretty cute first thing in the morning. His hair was sticking up and the growth on his jaw was thicker.
“I’m not a baby,” I said.
“I noticed.”
“It’s obvious you want me. I just don’t understand why you won’t act on it. I thought I was coming here to get claimed by a big, bad biker. Instead, I get a guy who doesn’t want to touch me and seems worried about hurting my feelings or some shit. What the hell, Seamus?”
“You’re still healing, Nessa. Besides, we don’t know a damn thing about each other. I’m trying to do things the right way. You’re not some club slut I’m going to screw and then forget.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek and contemplated how I wanted to handle it. “No, I’m not a club slut, but I’m still a woman. I’m not someone who’s going to run scared because you have morning wood. I’m a woman who happens to be really damn wet and turned on.”
“You’re not playing fair,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
“Never said I would. Five years, Seamus. Five fucking years. Do you think I honestly want to wait a second more?”
“I want your first time to be special.”
I snorted.
“What?” he asked. “I can’t want to make it memorable? You only get one first time, Janessa. I’m trying to do the right thing for the first time in my fucking life.”
“I’m a biker’s daughter. I lived in an asylum for a while where the staff raped the inmates and tortured them. Mom protected me from that shit, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew what was going on. I don’t need you to handle me like I’m spun glass and will shatter at any moment. I’m tougher than you seem to think.”
“Your dad entrusted you into my care,” he said. “If he thought for one second that I fucked you, he’d cut off my balls.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” I said, even though I wasn’t entirely sure about that. “Mom wouldn’t let him. She knows how I feel about you.”
He reached up and ran his fingers through my hair. “I think it’s pretty evident that I want you. I just don’t want to fuck this up, whatever it is we have between us. I’ve never cared about a woman before, and I…”
“You what?” I asked when it seemed like he wouldn’t finish his sentence.
He shook his head, apparently thinking better of whatever he’d been about to say.
“Seamus, I’m nineteen and until you kissed me the day I woke up in ICU, I’d never been kissed. I’ve never had an orgasm. Never seen a naked man. I wanted all those firsts to be with you, and now that I’m here, I can’t seem to get you to make a move. So, I’m going to make this easy on you.”
Sitting up, I tugged my shirt over my head and tossed it onto the floor. I hadn’t bothered with panties last night, hoping Seamus might take advantage of me. He audibly gulped as he stared at me, then I settled back down on the bed next to him. When he didn’t make a move, and I honestly couldn’t even tell if he was still breathing, I reached out and grabbed his hand, then placed it on my naked hip. I could feel a shudder go through him and it made me feel powerful to have that kind of effect on him.
“You seem to be overdressed,” I said, tugging on the waistband of his underwear.
“Are you sure about this? One hundred percent certain you want to do this?” he asked.
“I’m positive, Seamus.”
“If you change your mind or want to stop at any time…”
“I won’t,” I assured him. “Now show me what I’ve been missing. Just watch the ribs.”
He hesitated only a moment before he stripped off his boxer briefs and threw them over the edge of the bed. I sucked in a breath, then regretted it. Pain shot through my ribs, but I was too fascinated with Seamus’ cock to pay them much mind. I didn’t have anyone to compare him with, but he seemed rather… big. It didn’t scare me, though. If anything, it just made me hotter.
I sat up on my knees and reached out to run my hand over his chest, down his abs, then paused before running my fingers along the length of his cock. It twitched and I saw a bead of pre-cum gather on the tip. His shaft was silkier than I’d expected, and he was really damn hard. I wrapped my fingers around him and stroked, marveling at how he felt. His breathing changed and his eyes darkened, but Seamus didn’t utter a word of complaint or tell me to stop as I explored his body. His hands were fisted at his sides and I appreciated the restraint he was showing.
I eyed his cock and wondered what he’d taste like. Licking my lips, I leaned over and ran my tongue along his shaft. Seamus groaned and I glanced up to see his eyes close and his jaw tighten. His cock twitched again and I took it as a sign that he liked what I was doing. I hadn’t known it was possible for that part of him to do something like that and found it rather fascinating. Truthfully, I just found him fascinating. Getting a little braver, I flicked my tongue against the head and was surprised the pre-cum I lapped up didn’t taste as icky as I’d thought it would. Some of the girls in high school had claimed it was nasty, but I didn’t find the taste repugnant. It wasn’t as good as a candy apple that made me want to gulp it down, but I wasn’t going to gag from the taste either. After teasing him with my tongue another minute, I fitted my lips around his cock and took as much of him as I could.
Seamus made a choking sound and I looked up, his cock still in my mouth, and saw that he was watching me. My pussy clenched at the need I saw in his eyes. I licked and sucked a few more minutes, more pre-cum coating my tongue, before he gave a growl and pulled me off.
“You keep that up and I’ll come in your mouth.”
“You make it sound like that would be a bad thing. I don’t mind the way you taste. I’d thought I would, but… it’s not horrible. Maybe I’d like for you to come in my mouth.”
His eyes shut a moment and a shudder ran through him. “Nessa, you’re going to be the death of me. Lie back, baby. It’s my turn to play and see what you like and what you don’t.”
I was pretty sure I’d like anything he wanted to do to me. I’d been sneaking romances since I was sixteen, the naughtier the better, and had a fair idea of what I could expect. Or at least, I felt like I was prepared for whatever Seamus would come up with. I might be a virgin, but I wasn’t completely ignorant of what happened between a man and woman. Not unless those books I’d been reading were complete bullshit. I knew they were fiction, but surely some of that stuff really happened.
Seamus spread my legs and knelt between them, then just sat there, staring at my body. I wanted to cover up the pudge around my middle, something I would never lose if I kept eating cookies and cake all the time. My hips were rather wide too, and my ass… well, someone had once told me it needed its own zip code. I’d punched that guy in the nose and been suspended by the school. My dad had bought me ice cream. But the way Seamus eyed me, he didn’t seem to mind all my little imperfections. I hadn’t thought it was possible, but his cock seemed to get even harder, bigger, and excitement thrummed in my veins as I waited to see what he’d do.
He reached out a hand and trailed it from my neck, down the center of my chest, down my belly, and didn’t stop until his fingers brushed over the curls between my legs. I’d heard some of the women whispering at the compound about shaving everything off down there, but I hadn’t had the guts to try it. Seamus didn’t seem to mind. My body twitched when he ran his fingers up and down my slit. It felt good, but I wanted more. Seamus leaned over me, then took my nipple in his mouth. He sucked and tugged on the tip until pleasure rolled over me. I widened my legs, my body seeming to have a mind of its own, begging for more from the man I loved.
Seamus took his time, paying a lot of attention to my nipples as his fingers barely grazed my pussy, light strokes that just made me want to plead with him to do more. He lightly bit my nipples and I cried out. I could feel moisture slipping down the crack of my ass, and my cheeks warmed as embarrassment filled me over how wet I was. I didn’t know if it was normal or not.
He slowly slid a finger inside me, and I couldn’t hold back the whimper that rose to my lips. It burned a little, and felt strange, and yet oddly good at the same time. Seamus used his thumb to stroke my clit and it felt like sparks were shooting through me.
“So fucking beautiful,” he said. “And so damn responsive. You want to come, baby?”
“Y-yes. Please, Seamus.”
“Pinch those pretty nipples for me.”
My hands trembled as I reached for my breasts, cupping the mounds, then pinching down on my nipples. His finger slid in and out of me in a steady rhythm as his thumb kept swiping over my clit. Something was building inside me, my body shaking, and I wanted to cry I felt so desperate.
“Seamus,” I said, my tone pleading.
“Let go, babe. Let go and show me just how wet you can get.”
He put a little more pressure on my clit and I came. I damn near saw stars and it felt like I was going to come forever. I kept murmuring his name, my head tossing side to side, and still he kept flicking my clit. I’d never felt anything so intense before, or so amazing. Little aftershocks rocked me, leaving me a mess and feeling completely wrecked. If I’d had that big a reaction to just coming on his hand, what would it be like when he was inside me?
“I could watch you come apart like that every day for the rest of my life and it wouldn’t be enough.” He smirked. “You soaked the bed.”
“S-sorry.”
“That’s a good thing, Nessa. It means I did my job right and made you come really fucking hard. We can stop now, if you want.”
I shook my head emphatically. No way I was backing down now. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have him inside me, wanted to come as his cock filled me. Seamus lowered his body over mine and kissed me. It was the sweetest, gentlest kiss.
“You’re sure?” he asked again.
“I’m more than sure. Please, Seamus. Make me yours.”
He hesitated. “I’ve never gone bareback with anyone, always used a condom. Do you want me to get one?”
I swallowed hard, knowing this was a huge decision. I wasn’t ready for kids, or at least I didn’t think I was. At the same time, I didn’t want any barriers between us our first time together. I wanted to feel all of him, wanted the full experience.
“You don’t need one,” I said.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked.
I opened my mouth to respond, then remembered I hadn’t been taking my pills for the last week, and I’d forgotten to talk to the doctor like I’d planned.
“I was, but then the accident happened and…”
“I want to be inside you without anything between us, but I’m not going to make that decision for you. If you haven’t been taking your pills and you don’t want kids, I should probably get a condom.”
“You keep some here?” I asked, hating how vulnerable I felt in that moment. I hadn’t wanted a reminder that he’d been sleeping with women, probably up to the day I’d shown up here.
“I keep a box in the bathroom, but if you’re asking if I’ve had another woman in this bed, the answer would be no. I’ve never brought someone home with me, Nessa. They were meaningless fucks in a hall, a bathroom, or wherever was handy. You’re the only woman I’ve had in my bed. Ever.”
I nodded and chewed on my lip. How likely was it I’d get pregnant right away? I knew a lot of the Reapers ladies had gotten pregnant early in their relationships with their men, but surely it hadn’t happened the first time. That kind of thing didn’t really happen in real life, did it? I knew Mom was worried I’d do something reckless, but I figured she was being overprotective. It was what she and my dad did best.
“I don’t want anything between us either,” I said, making a decision I hoped I wouldn’t regret later. Not that I would ever regret a child Seamus and I created together, but the timing could definitely be better.
“Nessa, this isn’t something we can undo later. I don’t mind using condoms until your birth control is back on track.”
“They aren’t foolproof, right? I could get pregnant even if you use one.”
He shrugged. “Hasn’t ever happened to me.”
“But it has happened to other people we know. Please, Seamus. I just want you, all of you, and I want to feel everything without anything between us. It’s my first time and I want to experience it fully. We can use a condom next time if you want.”
He kissed me softly at first, then harder. There was an urgency to his kiss that made my body heat. Seamus pulled back and stared down at me, his eyes turbulent with emotion.
“If you want all of me, that’s what you’ll get. I’ll go slow. Tell me if I need to stop.” His gaze held mine. “I meant it, Nessa. You say the word and I stop, no matter what.”
I gave him a slight nod and tried to mentally and emotionally prepare myself. The girls I’d attended high school with who had lost their virginity before senior year had made it seem like no big deal, but this was Seamus, and the fact he was my first was a very big deal. At least to me.
I felt his cock nudge against my pussy, and he slowly sank into me. I bit my lip, fighting back the urge to make any sort of sound that might make him stop, but it hurt more than I’d anticipated. Then again, Seamus didn’t seem like a small guy down there, or anywhere. I tensed and he froze, his gaze locked on mine.
“You okay, baby?” he asked.
“I just… maybe need a second.”
He nodded and the muscles in his body strained. I could tell it cost him, holding still like he was, but he hadn’t complained or given me some excuse that he couldn’t. I’d asked him to hold on and he had. It gave me the courage to give him a nod. Seamus entered me another inch and stopped again.
“Maybe we just treat this like a Band-Aid? Just get it over with?” I asked, not sure if this slow and steady method was any better than if he’d just do it already.
“I’m already hurting you, Nessa. I don’t want to make it worse.”
“I want this, Seamus. Want you. I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m going to feel the pain either way, right?”
He closed his eyes a moment, then his gaze fastened on mine again. Before I could say anything else, he entered me hard and fast. I gasped and my body locked up from the shock and pain of both my lungs and him being inside me. No one had said anything about it hurting like this. I couldn’t stop the tears that leaked from the corners of my eyes. Seamus held still, even though I could tell it was costing him, his control seeming thin at best. The pain slowly began to ebb and I took a breath, then let it out slowly.
“It’s not so bad now,” I said. “Maybe try moving?”
Seamus took his time, withdrawing, then sliding inside me again, every stroke slow as he watched me. It wasn’t pleasant, not at first, but after a few thrusts I actually started to enjoy it. I was still sore as hell, but pleasure was seeping into me the more my body adjusted to the intrusion and his size.
“I won’t break,” I told him.
“It’s not a race, Nessa.” He smiled faintly. “You only have one first time. Want to make it memorable for you.”
I reached up and cupped his cheek. “It’s with you; of course it will be memorable.”
Seamus leaned down and claimed my lips in a searing kiss. When he pulled away, he rolled us so that he lay on his back. I sat awkwardly, not knowing what to do. In the books, it always seemed so easy, but being on top my first time ever made me a bit unsure.
“Ride me, baby. Move however brings you the most pleasure.”
I experimentally shifted my hips until I found a rhythm. Seamus reached down and rubbed his thumb across my clit and I gasped, then moaned. My eyes slid shut as instinct took over, every move of my hips more bold and sure than the one before. Soon I was riding him, just like he’d said to, and I could feel an orgasm building. I braced my hands on his abs to give me better leverage, and his thumb stroked me again. I came.
“Seamus! Oh, God! Oh, God! So good.”
It felt like I was going to come forever, but eventually the intense feeling started to fade. There was a wildness in Seamus’ eyes as I opened mine and looked down at him. He gripped my hips, then thrust upward. He took what he wanted, what he needed, and soon I felt the hot splash of his cum inside me. My thighs shook and my hands trembled. Seamus tugged me down onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, his cock still buried inside me.
“That was…” I didn’t even have words. Yeah, it had hurt like a bitch at first, but then I’d started to enjoy it. Now that it was over, I felt emotionally raw and wrung out.
“Still glad you waited?” he asked, running a hand down my hair.
“Yes. I can’t imagine sharing something like this with anyone other than you.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Thank you, Nessa. You’ve given me an incredible gift. You didn’t have to wait for me, but I’m glad you did.”
“I love you, Seamus. I think I always have,” I said softly. “There was never anyone for me but you. Even when I was too young to even think about dating I was drawn to you.”
“I love you too, Nessa. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. I shouldn’t have made you wait, should have come and claimed you when you turned eighteen and graduated high school. I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away.”
“Us being apart is never the right thing,” I said.
Seamus tightened his hold on me. “Stay with me. Not just right now while the police want you in town. I want you to move in, to be mine.”
I lifted my head and looked at him. “Are you asking me to be your old lady?”
He hesitated a moment, but it made me wonder if he’d ever be ready for a true commitment. Yeah, he’d called me his fiancé at the hospital, but it hadn’t been a true engagement. If I stayed with Seamus, there was a chance he’d never give me everything I wanted.
“Is that what you want?” he asked after a few minutes.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I said. “If you don’t want the same thing, then what’s the point?”
“I want you, Nessa. Not just temporarily. I want to wake up next to you every day, want to have a family with you when we’re ready. I love you, but I want more than just to make you my old lady. Doesn’t seem right to ask you to marry me without a ring, though.”
“You want to marry me?” I asked softly.
“We should do this the right way,” he said. “Go all out. Marry you, give you a property cut, let the entire world know you’re mine in all ways.”
“I’d like that.”
“Then we’ll plan on that. But for now, I think we should just get used to being with each other, and maybe ease your dad into the idea of you remaining here with me. Tex doesn’t scare me, but I have no doubt he’ll try to castrate me when he finds out I took your virginity and don’t plan to let you leave.”
I smiled. He wasn’t wrong about that. My dad was extremely overprotective, but I loved him and I loved Seamus. Eventually, my dad would come to realize that the biker wasn’t just who I wanted, but who I needed. Mom would talk him into it at some point.
I just needed to convince the woman who guarded me as fiercely as a momma bear with her cub that the man lying underneath me was exactly what had been missing from my life. If I could win Mom over, then anything was possible.