Notes on “Taken”

This story was originally titled “Jack and Dianne”. I had a lot of fun writing it. A tired old trope it may be, but hopefully tinkered with enough to make something above average.

A pivotal point in the creation of this story happened at the point where Rayne is tied up in the sleeper and Jack has to stop for gas, so close to home he can taste it. For whatever stupid fucking reason, he decides to go inside and buy scratch-off tickets. He was undoubtedly stalling for time, nervous about what he was doing. I didn’t realize it then, but I was stalling for time, too, because I didn’t know where to take the story.

Fucking lottery tickets. I never buy those things.

The story started getting long and unwieldy. I wanted to keep it tense and tight. I’d hung Kurt Vonnegut’s rules for writing short stories on the wall above my desk. “Always start as close to the end as possible,” one of them states, and it is great advice.

I was introducing a slew of minor characters, giving myself homework researching police procedures, getting frustrated when all I wanted to do was wrap this thing up.

Then, it hit me. I realized what was wrong with the story.

Rayne.

She starts out as a sexy young victim with little to do other than get tied up and likely killed. The story was originally intended to be about Jack and Dianne but it never felt right until, finally, I recognized Rayne was the true focus. This was her story.

And just like that, I knew exactly where this tale had to go.