Chapter Forty-Two

Mid-April 1989

“Anybody home?” Jesse asked from outside.

Ali opened the door. “Mommy,” she cried breathlessly, wrapping her arms around Jesse’s legs.

“It’s so good to see you, honey.” Jesse picked Ali up and twirled her around as they both erupted in laughter. She put Ali down and crossed to where Alice stood hugging her mother so tightly Alice gasped.

“It’s good to be home,” Jesse said as she looked around, nodding at the improvements the money she’d sent had purchased. “Nice furniture and rugs,” she said casually. “Too bad they’ll be going to waste.”

Alice looked at her daughter; the trace of a smile crossed her face. “Does that mean what I think it does?”

Jesse nodded. “It does. I’ve got a great apartment for all three of us on West 58th Street. It’s a doorman building, and I’ve even talked to some people about nursery school for you in the fall, my friend.” She turned and tickled Ali.

Jesse looked at Alice.

“So it’s going that well?”

“Yup,” Jesse nodded.

“That’s wonderful.” Alice said.

“Mommy, there are pictures of Matt in the paper.” Alice put her hand to her lips, telling her granddaughter to be quiet.

Jesse’s pleasant look evaporated. “We don’t get the same newspapers in New York, Ali,” she said quietly.

“Why don’t you go get the pictures you made for your mother?” Alice suggested.

“It’s okay.” Jesse looked at her mother. “We don’t live in a vacuum. He’s entitled to his day in the sun.”

“Here, see what I drew?” Ali handed her a big picture. “See, Mommy, it’s the swan boats.”

Jesse tried to look pleased and surprised, despite the memories the pictures dredged up.

“It’s beautiful, honey,” Jesse said, hiding any trace of sadness. “I love it.”

Ali ran back to the bedroom she’d occupied since Jesse’s departure.

“It must be hard,” Alice said.

“Hard? What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean,” Alice offered.

Jesse sighed and closed the small distance between them, putting her head on Alice’s shoulder and hugging her tightly.

“Yes it is, sometimes,” Jesse whispered. “Well, what’s it going to be tonight”—she recovered quickly—“Italian or seafood? This meal’s on Lawrence.”

They took a taxi to Jimmy’s Harborside, a waterfront restaurant famous for its seafood and its well-known patrons. Jesse told them stories about being in a Broadway musical, describing her dancing and acting lessons and how hard she was working.

“I couldn’t believe how little I knew about any of that and how important it is.” She shook her head. “At the Conservatory we concentrated on developing our voices, but in this production, I really have to act. There are a couple of scenes when I even have to cry on cue.” She faked a sob and tickled Ali, reveling in her mother’s presence.

Jesse knew Ali had no idea what she was talking about, but her daughter shook her head and beamed as Jesse related the details surrounding her new life.

“How are the other people?” Alice asked.

“Actually, they’re not too bad. I expected some resistance and resentment. What with me being an unknown.”

“You call the big producer Lawrence?” Alice asked with amazement.

“I do.” Jesse nodded. “He’s a very nice man. Nothing like the stereotypes you see in the movies. And he’s been very nice to me.”

Alice and Jesse ate the surf and turf and Ali had the spaghetti from the children’s menu. With stomachs bursting after three dishes of chocolate mousse and extra whipped cream, they left. By nine thirty, they were back at West Springfield Street. Who was there to greet them but Mario?

“Welcome home for a few weeks, Jessica.”

“Thanks Mario, it’s good to be back.”

They exchanged a few more words about the show, Jesse repeating what she’d told Alice and Ali—that it was exciting but more work than she’d ever imagined.

“Well, I’m coming to see you next week. I already have my tickets.”

Jesse shook her head. “You shouldn’t have done that. I could have gotten you seats.”

“Don’t be silly. Mr. Webb can use the money. Maybe he’ll give you a raise.” He chuckled. “Are you feeling… all right, my dear?” He looked concerned.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Jesse stopped, studying him.

“Can we go inside, I’ve got to pee,” Ali broke in.

“Sure—sure we can,” Jesse answered as Mario disappeared into the night.

When Ali was tucked in bed for the night, Alice went to her daughter and held her as Jesse cried quietly. When she stopped, Jesse told her mother about the baby that would have been hers and Matt’s.