So he painted his clubhouse yellow.
And next day there it was again, splashed across the side. In black. Nice contrast with the yellow.
SOOP
Of course this time it was no surprise to us. Bump had told us he was going to do it.
“Who do you think’s doing it?” Soop said as we pulled up to the curb.
“Doing what?” said Bump, all innocent, like before.
“Painting my name on the clubhouse,” said Soop.
“Oh, that,” said Nacho.
Bump leaned in and whispered to me, “Listen to him. Look at him.”
I knew what Bump meant. The goober still wasn’t mad, just curious, like this was a math problem he hadn’t run into before. He should have been pulling out his hair, howling, What’s going on?, maybe even crying. But all he did was talk all calm with his hands on his hips, like he owned the world. That’s what gets you. You know if it happened to you, you’d be going nuts, you’d want to kill somebody. And then you see this kid who refuses—flat-out refuses—to be normal. Who stands there with his hands on his hips, all cocky-like. And if there’s one thing that burns your butt more than anything else, it’s a cocky goober. So naturally you want to smack him, slap some normal into him.
But Bump stays cool. “I don’t know,” he says. “Who do you think’s doing it, Erno?”
“Beats me,” said Soop. “It’s a mystery.”
We all nodded: “Mystery…”
And now Soop was giggling. Another thing that drives the ice pick into your neck: a giggling goober.
“What’s so funny, Erno?” said Bump.
“He still can’t spell soup!” goes Erno. He went on giggling, like it was the funniest thing since cow pies.
His hand shot into the air. “Hold the presses!” He turned to us—“Wait here, guys”—and sprinted into his house. He was back in a couple minutes with a little paint can and a thin brush. He went to the wall. “I couldn’t find any black,” he called. He painted blue happy faces into the double Os. He turned to us. He threw out his arms. “Ta-da!”
Bump started a slow handclap that of course Soop didn’t realize was bogus. The rest of us joined in. Bump hissed, almost loud enough for Soop to hear, “This is his last day as a happy goober.”