CHAPTER FOUR

What to Do in the Event of a Death Spiral

Industro12 was now just a tiny dot and Luno was successfully piloting the delivery pod, when something whizzed past the windshield.

VROOOOOM!

Suddenly, everything in the cabin was spinning out of control! Luno found himself tumbling around with pizza boxes, candy bar wrappers, and tools.

“Aaahhh!” Chooch shrieked. “In the event of cabin decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. Pull the mask toward you and—”

“What was that?!” Luno shouted over Chooch and the pod’s emergency siren. “A meteor?”

“Quite possibly, Mr. Zorgoochi,” Clive said, calmly pecking at his device. “I am currently conducting an analysis. In the meantime, would you care to assist me in calculating the velocity of the centripetal force at which the pod is rotating?”

“Not a good time, Clive!” Luno shouted as he hung on to the refrigerator.

“Call your dad, Luno!” Chooch squeaked from underneath the control panel. “He’ll know what to do!”

Before Luno could stop him, Chooch reached up and punched the button for the telescreen with his giant metal finger.

“Hey, buddy.” Geo’s face appeared. “How’s it goin’?”

Luno pushed his face up as close as possible to the screen in order to block out the swirling debris.

“Oh, fine.” Luno tried to sound casual, which was difficult with a 32-galactic-ton robot hugging his legs, muttering we’regonnadiewe’regonnadiewe’regonnadie.

“I forgot to give you a sweater, honey.” Connie’s face popped into view as Luno jammed a can of scungilli into Chooch’s mouth to shut him up.

“I’m going to a fire planet, Mom,” Luno replied. “I don’t think I’ll be chilly. Um, I just called to say everything’s fine. Gotta go. Bye!”

As Luno ended the transmission, he knew deep down he’d like for his father to help him, but even with thoughts of imminent danger flying around his head and junk flying around the pod, he knew he couldn’t. He waited a long time to get out of the pizzeria and off Industro12. He’d have to figure it out for himself.

Even though Clive may have been a genius and Chooch may have had some of the same parts as the pod, neither of them knew how to fly it. It was up to Luno to regain control before he crashed into an asteroid. Or threw up.

As he crawled across the walls, it occurred to him that the last time he felt this dizzy and nauseous was when Roog accidentally knocked him into the clothes dryer.

Clinging to anything that wasn’t spinning, Luno managed to climb back into the driver’s seat. He strapped himself in and frantically pressed buttons, but nothing worked! Ack!

Luno searched his brain, but what to do in the event of a death spiral was definitely not covered in driver’s ed.

Then he remembered what his father said. Luno gripped the steering stick and closed his eyes.

“You already know what to do,” Luno whispered. “Now do it.”

Without opening his eyes, Luno reached out and pressed the horizontal stabilizer button. Within moments, the pod was steadily humming to Inferno9 as if nothing had happened.

“Quantum Pizza nearly destroyed us, Mr. Zorgoochi,” Clive announced calmly.

“Huh?” Luno opened his eyes and blinked.

“It was not a meteor, but a Quantum Pizza delivery ship that crossed our trajectory and nearly destroyed us,” Clive said matter-of-factly, pecking away.

“Did somebody say pizza?” Chooch’s head popped out from under the control panel where he was hiding. “Because I’m kinda hungry.”

KA-CHUNK! KA-CHUNK! KA-CHUNCK!

Clive informed Luno that the sound they were hearing was a malfunctioning fan belt, which had been damaged in the tailspin. As an afterthought, Clive added that without a fully operational fan belt cooling the atomic engine, the pod would explode in about twenty minutes.

With no spare parts and a solid C average in Astral Mechanics, Luno tried not to panic and think of something to do.

“MOZZARELLA!” Luno suddenly shouted.

Even Chooch couldn’t believe Luno was thinking of dairy products at a time like this, but Luno was too busy scraping the extra cheese off one of the pizzas in the oven in Chooch’s chest to explain.

Before Clive could ask what his plan was, Luno already had his helmet on and was scurrying around the outside of the delivery pod. Luno was so excited about coming up with a brilliant solution to fix the fan belt, he forgot to be scared. With all his might, he pried open the engine panel. As he patched up the busted fan belt using the sticky mozzarella, Luno thought how proud his great-great-great-aunt Genia, who won awards for isolating the pizza molecule, would be of him right now, that is, if she were still alive.

“That ought to hold it,” Luno said, back inside and unscrewing his helmet. Clive gave a nod of approval at Luno’s quick thinking and Chooch cried tears of joy.

After mopping up Chooch’s tears of joy, Luno slid into the pilot’s seat and scanned the control panel.

Engine’s atomic core temperature. Check.

Pizza temperature. Check.

Fan belt. Um, check, I hope.

Then a smile grew on Luno’s lips.

Pilot’s ability to handle a crisis. Check!