More Than One Thousand Years from Today

EARLY MORNING

Deep in the Mezzaluna Galaxy, in one of its lesser spiral arms, on a tiny gray planet called Industro12, seven-year-old Luno Zorgoochi placed his small hand in his father’s as they walked through the herb garden behind the family pizzeria. It was Luno’s favorite place to be because it was so different from the rest of Industro12. Quiet and lush, with a maze of babbling brooks running through it, it was the only spot on the entire planet that wasn’t covered in concrete, metal, or was the site of a factory belching smoke.

They strolled past rows of oregano, basil, and Erba Zorgoochus, the secret herb that made Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza the tastiest in the entire Mezzaluna Galaxy and possibly the entire universe.

At least that’s what Luno’s father, Geo, believed.

“You know, son,” Geo said, looking down at Luno as they walked into the greenhouse, past basketball-size tomatoes and zucchini as long as canoes, “your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Solaro planted the garden and built this greenhouse about two hundred years ago.”

Luno looked down as his space boots walked over the ornate mosaic imbedded in the tile floor, then squinted up at the sun streaming through the greenhouse’s geometric latticework. He nodded and smiled. Sure, his father had already told him a million times, but Luno didn’t mind hearing it again. And again and again and again. He liked listening to his father tell him how Solaro got up every morning before dawn to make the whitest, smoothest, lightest dough along with a big pot of his ancestor Nonna Prima’s secret tomato sauce recipe that Colono, one of his forefathers from the remote past took with him as he escaped Earth before it was destroyed. Since then it was passed down from generation to generation.

Solaro also spent years perfecting the Zorgoochi Pizza Toss, his own special way of spinning dough in the air, which made his pizza crust crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, and like no other pizza in the galaxy.

Solaro was known for his famously keen sense of smell. Not only did he know if a pizza was done just by its aroma, but he could also smell a pizza three light-years away and identify its toppings.

When Solaro was a young man, he left home for Planet Formaggio to train with the legendary Mozzarella Monks, a band of devout cheese artisans, who taught him the ancient secrets of how to make the finest mozzarella in the universe. With his training complete, Solaro returned home to Industro12, opened a little pizzeria, and called it Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza. Soon word spread throughout the galaxy about Solaro’s perfect pizza and sentient beings of all kinds came to have a slice.

Because he only used the freshest ingredients, Solaro grew his own vegetables, ground his own wheat, and fished for his very own anchovies for his pizzas. One day while fishing in the Sea of Tranquility, he spotted an anchovy that was different from any one he’d ever seen.

“Why was it different, Daddy?” Luno asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Because it was golden”—his father bent down and leaned in close, his eyes bright—“and it glowed.”

Even though he had heard it many times before, Luno’s eyes grew wide as his father described what happened next.

“Solaro placed his palms in the water and the little fish swam right to him,” said Geo. “And when he touched it, Solaro had a mystical vision.”

As with every telling, Luno gasped, even though he still didn’t know exactly what a “mystical vision” was, but knew it must’ve been pretty important.

“That anchovy reached deep down into Solaro’s soul and showed him his life’s true purpose: to make the greatest pizza in the universe!” Geo looked around, and then whispered, “One with Everything.”

Luno listened agape as his father recounted what his father told him and his father told him and so on: Not only did the Golden Anchovy reveal Solaro’s life’s mission, but it also guided and protected him as he fulfilled his vision.

This was also where the ancient phrase “hold the anchovies” actually came from. It originally started off as “hold the Anchovy,” meaning the Golden Anchovy, as a kindly greeting from one pizzeria owner to another, but over the centuries the uninitiated unknowingly changed the singular into plural.

Solaro kept the Golden Anchovy in a flask tucked safely inside his space suit, close to his heart when he traveled to the farthest reaches of the galaxy on his quest to gather the ingredients for this perfect pizza.

Finally, after many years, the One with Everything was complete. He decided to cut it into three slices to resemble a peace symbol.

The first thing Solaro did was brave a dangerous space battlefield to deliver slices to each side. With the soldiers’ stomachs full of pizza and their hearts now full of love, the Thousand-Year Space War ended. There was peace in the galaxy at last!

Keeping the Golden Anchovy close, Solaro delivered his One with Everything to heal the sick, raise the dead, and feed thousands with the single pie. There was always enough since the slices regenerated themselves.

“Once word got out about the Golden Anchovy,” said Geo, “everyone wanted it, but there was one who wanted it most of all.”

“Vlactron,” Luno whispered with a mix of fear and scorn.

“That’s right.” His father nodded.

“Did he want to make a pizza, too, Daddy?” Luno asked.

Luno’s father smiled and sat on an overturned tomato basket, then pulled another over and patted it for Luno to sit down.

“No, son, he didn’t,” Geo said. “He wanted the Golden Anchovy for its power. Your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, he used it to help others, but Vlactron wanted to use it for himself. And that’s the difference between a good guy and a bad guy.”

Solaro hid the Golden Anchovy, well knowing that Vlactron would do anything to get his claws on it. He hid it so well, even his son and grandsons, great and otherwise, couldn’t find it. Maybe he was just trying to protect them from Vlactron. Maybe he was waiting for the right Zorgoochi to find it at the right time.

Years later, Solaro handed down his pizzeria to his son, Vulcanelli, the mechanical genius who built the kitchen’s volcano-powered ovens. Vulcanelli then handed the pizzeria to his son, Infinito, who created a pizza box so strong it could withstand the most extreme gravitational pressure. And then he handed it to his son, Tomino, who calculated the mathematical formula for every pizza to be sliced into eight identical pieces, so there would be no arguments about who got a bigger slice, then to Forza, who designed the first four-dimensional pizza, then Pomodoro, who created a pizza that could travel at the speed of sound without disintegrating, and finally to Luno’s dad, Geo, who invented a zero-gravity delivery box, so the pizza wouldn’t get stuck to the bottom or the top.

Along with the family’s secret tomato sauce recipe and the famous Zorgoochi Pizza Toss, Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza was handed down from father to son, decade after decade, improving the pizzeria and perfecting the pizza with each generation.

“Then it was handed down to me from my father,” Luno’s dad said with a twinkle in his eye. “And someday, Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza will be handed down to you.”

They walked in silence, until Luno stopped and looked up.

“Is the Golden Anchovy for real, Daddy?” he asked suspiciously, cocking his head.

“Of course it’s for real!” Geo Zorgoochi smiled, then knelt down and held Luno’s tiny shoulders between his big calloused hands. “Maybe you’ll be the one to find it! Do you remember the little rhyme I taught you?”

Luno nodded, then they both recited:

 

“When you touch the Golden Fish

You fulfill your truest wish.

It will guide and keep you free from harm

In Mezzaluna’s spiral arm.

And when your vision has been done

Give it to a special one.

Or release it into the starry stream

For others to realize their dream.

But if you steal it, you hereby

Cause the Golden Anchovy to die.”

 

“Geo!”

The back door swung open and Mom appeared.

“How many times have I told you not to fill Luno’s head with that silly anchovy nonsense,” Luno’s mother, Connie, scolded.

“Uffa! Gimme a break, Connie. I’m only having a little fun with the kid,” said Geo. “Besides, my father told me the same thing.”

“And those stories about that Vlactron character have been giving him nightmares!” Connie shouted, and then turned to Luno. “Daddy’s just making those things up, aren’t you, Geo?”

Geo reluctantly nodded, but when she turned away, he gave Luno a secret wink.

“Now come into the kitchen, sweetheart,” Connie said to Luno. “You look hungry.”

As he bit into a hot slice of pizza, Luno thought about the Golden Anchovy and the day he would take over the pizzeria, and learn the famous Zorgoochi Pizza Toss just like his dad and every other Zorgoochi before him.

And maybe even be the one to find the Golden Anchovy.