Selena stared at the entrance to the cave with the sort of dread she’d expect to have entering a viper pit. It looked unassuming and normal enough, with a narrow opening that descended into the blackness of the cave’s interior, but she knew what secrets it contained and despite Thor’s assurances that they’d be safe because Loki was permanently restrained, the trickster Norse god was still inside.
And if Norse myth were right, there actually was a snake living above him, dripping its venom onto the god who had caused Baldr’s murder.
Cameron scowled at the cave and muttered, “If I have to deal with one more snake, someone’s going to have bind me in a cave until the apocalypse.”
“Considering he told us where to find Loki, you’d think the snake wouldn’t be such a big secret,” Selena agreed.
Cameron nodded. “He’d reached his limit of not-being-an-asshole. Think word’s out about how much I hate snakes? If so, I’m entering the God Protection Program.”
“Who runs that?” Selena asked. “Obviously not the New Pantheon.”
Cameron pretended to think about it then decided, “Illuminati.”
“You know the real Illuminati opposed religion and what they perceived as superstitions,” Selena pointed out.
Cameron blinked at her then sighed. “Why do you know this shit?”
Selena shrugged and smiled at him. “Had little to do except read most of my life.”
Cameron faced the cave again and took her hand. “Guess we should go in there and see if we can find some tied up Norse god who may or may not have fathered a bastard child with the woman who killed us both.”
Selena snorted and shook her head. “Even in our crazy, messed up world, that is one sentence I never thought I’d hear.”
As Cameron led her to the mouth of the cave, he asked, “Think it was even a child that resembled a human? I mean, this is the god that gave birth to an eight-legged horse, a wolf that bit off Tyr’s hand, and the huge ass snake that I am not fighting if we’re still alive by the time the end of the world rolls around.”
“If Morgan is really descended from him, then yeah, I think it would have to be a demigod that resembled a human.”
They paused at the dark entrance and glanced at each other before bravely entering the cave Thor had promised them his former friend was bound in until Ragnarok.
The interior of the Norwegian cave was even colder than the air outside, and the stone walls were rough and jutted at odd angles. The floor sloped gently downward the farther they walked as their footsteps echoed in the hollow space. The tunnel suddenly ended in a T but they hadn’t been told in which direction they’d find the reviled Norse god. As they stood at the junction, deliberating if they should go left or right first, they heard someone approaching.
The reverberations from inside the cave made it difficult to tell where the person was coming from, so Cameron stepped away from the stone wall at the end of the original path and ignited a fire at the juncture, intending to prevent anyone from getting close to them. Over the roar of the blaze, Selena could no longer hear the footsteps. She didn’t know if the person inside the cave with them had decided to stop or had charged ahead.
She clung to Cameron’s arm and tried not to drop her flashlight. Her fingers were shaking and the light bobbed against the wall of the cave as shadows from the fire danced in front of her.
A woman’s voice called out to them in a language she couldn’t understand.
“Sigyn,” Selena told Cameron.
“Great,” Cameron muttered. “I guess this means there really is a snake dangling above Loki.”
The woman was silent for a few moments before calling out to them again. “New gods?” she asked. “What business do you have here?”
“Is she addressing us or is she asking if we’re new?” Cameron asked Selena.
Selena just shrugged.
She thought she heard Sigyn sigh.
“I’m surprised that you’re new gods and have entered this cave,” Sigyn said.
“Question,” Cameron interrupted. “Is there a snake hanging over your asshole husband? Because if so, I’m not above burning down this whole country.”
Selena thought she heard Sigyn sighing again. “What kind of god are you?”
“Sun god. Obviously.”
“Not what I meant,” she responded, her voice already weary.
“Uh… Irish?” Cameron tried.
“Also not what I meant,” Sigyn said.
“This is really your fault for not being more specific then,” Cameron told her.
“Would you put out your fire so that I may approach?” Sigyn asked.
Cameron glanced at Selena who lifted a shoulder at him as if to say, “How the hell should I know if it’s a trick?” but Cameron allowed the flames to die and the goddess to approach.
Sigyn, a pretty goddess with light blonde hair, which had been carefully braided and tied on top of her head, looked over the intruders to her husband’s prison and folded her arms. “I meant that only an evil god would burn a country to avoid a serpent,” she finally told Cameron. “But you’re not evil. I can sense that now.”
“If you’re so good at sensing evil, how the hell did you end up married to Loki?” Cameron asked.
Selena playfully pushed him and he offered her that sexy, mischievous grin. “One, don’t pretend like you weren’t thinking the same thing. And two, if you keep this up, people are going to get the wrong idea about us. If I pushed you around, I’d be smote for being an abusive asshole god.”
“Smote by whom?” Selena asked. “Nobody can smite you.”
His smile widened as he told her, “You could.”
“What is wrong with you two?” Sigyn asked.
“Why does everybody always ask us that?” Cameron asked back.
“I’m starting to think there’s something actually wrong with us,” Selena supplied helpfully.
Cameron just nodded seriously.
“Again,” Sigyn sighed, “what are you doing here?”
“After a couple thousand years of being stuck in this cave, haven’t you ever thought of divorcing the guy?” Cameron asked. “I mean, he did cheat on you. A lot. You know they’ve had an entire women’s rights movement in the western world and you…”
Sigyn threw her hands up and yelled, “What do you want?”
“Oh, we need to talk to Loki about… um… another affair,” Cameron finally explained.
Sigyn’s eyes narrowed at him and she put her hands on her hips. “Why would a couple of Irish gods care about his affairs?”
“Technically,” Selena said, “I’m a demigoddess.”
Sigyn looked her offer and scoffed, “No, you’re not. I may have been stuck inside this cave for a long time, but that hasn’t made me stupid.”
“You sure about that?” Cameron asked.
Selena shot him a “What the hell is wrong with you?” look, so he shrugged at her.
“Ok,” he said, “I’m really getting tired of arguing with her. Think she’d like to hang out with the reindeer in Canada for a while?”
Selena nodded and added, “We never found out if there’s a snake hanging above his head.”
Cameron cringed but waved at Sigyn. “Say hi to Rudolph for us.”
“What?” she demanded, but if there were more to her protest, it was cut off by being sent to Ellesmere Island. Cameron grabbed Selena’s hand again and led her down the tunnel Sigyn had emerged from.
The tunnel continued to slope downward as they descended farther into the belly of the cave, and Selena shivered and pressed her body closer to Cameron’s. He squeezed her hand gently but neither of them spoke as they listened for any sounds indicating they were coming upon one of the most vile gods in Norse mythology. As the pitch of their footsteps lowered, they slowed down, assuming they were about to reach a room within this cave.
Any chance I can still talk to you telepathically? Cameron asked.
Selena glanced at him and slowed down even more. Apparently. How did you do that?
Cameron lifted a shoulder at her but kept his eyes ahead of them where a dim light now peeked around a corner. I’m guessing being scared shitless can make us have superpowers. You know, more than the regular ones.
What’s scaring you? Loki or the snake?
Uh, both.
Selena just nodded.
A man’s voice sang out from the room, stopping them both from entering. “Irish visitors? How strange.”
Cameron’s fingers tightened around Selena’s hand as he looked away from the flickering light emanating from the hidden room and even without telepathy, she could have decoded his expression: “This is a mistake. We should go to Ellesmere Island.”
For once, she found herself terribly curious about Canadian caribou.
Cameron took a deep breath and stepped closer. “Dude, if you have a snake hanging above you, I’ll do you a solid favor: I’ll kill the beast from Hell if you promise not to be… creepy.”
Loki laughed, which Selena thought was creepy enough for a god who’d been bound inside a cave for a couple thousand years.
“There’s no serpent, Sun God. But what a generous offer.”
“If you’re lying, I’ll burn you,” Cameron warned.
“Then you’d have my thanks. And what a pity I’m not lying.”
Cameron pulled her a little closer to the entryway, but Selena suddenly didn’t want to be anywhere near this room or this god. There was something so unnerving and frightening about his voice, the casual way he spoke to these strange gods approaching him, the flippant mood an imprisoned god displayed toward something so unexpected. Or perhaps it was just their own ability to detect evil within others, because despite Cameron’s typical, jocular response, she could feel that he was just as unsettled.
“Oh, come in!” Loki sang. “Enjoy the hospitality of the Aesir!”
He laughed again as they rounded the corner and Loki’s prison came into view. He lay on a stone bed, his arms and legs bound tightly beside him so that only his neck could move and turn toward them. As he’d promised, no serpent hung from the ceiling dripping venom toward his face. A single fire in the middle of the room provided the only light and warmth and in the soft light from the low flames, the infamous trickster god appeared so small and fragile, normal even. But as his eyes settled on Selena, the madness behind them made her shrink back toward her only exit from this room.
“You,” he said, smiling at her, “are quite special, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
Cameron pointed at him and warned, “Talk to her like that again, and I’ll find a snake to hang above you.”
Loki laughed and turned his face back toward the ceiling of the cave. “Go ahead, Sun God. It would give me something different to look at.”
“Aren’t you even curious about what we did with your wife?” Selena asked. Sigyn was fine, of course, but his lack of concern about the woman who had willingly imprisoned herself along with him for thousands of years only underscored the god’s insanity.
“Oh,” Loki cooed, “is she gone?”
He laughed again and Selena glanced at Cameron, wondering if this were a mistake for no other reason than they couldn’t expect this god to provide them with any information and they’d come armed with nothing with which to negotiate. But, as usual, Cameron remained undaunted.
“I guess a couple thousand years in this room with the same person does get awfully boring,” he said. “So tell you what. Answer a few questions for us, and we’ll provide momentary distraction from staring at that stalactite.”
“It is a lovely stalactite, isn’t it?” Loki asked.
Selena’s eyes roved over the numerous stalactites above him. She had no idea if he were serious or not, and if he were, which stalactite he favored.
“Did you have an affair with Fúamnach?” Cameron asked.
Loki flinched and turned his head toward Cameron, his light brown eyebrows pulling together as he studied the young god. “Only one god,” he hissed, “knew of that affair. What was an Irish god doing talking to… him?”
“And yet,” Cameron pointed out, “you didn’t think it was that strange that we were here. But talking to Thor shocks you?”
“Don’t say that name!” Loki yelled, his voice reverberating off the stone walls of his prison.
“Ok,” Selena hurriedly agreed. “We won’t speak his name again as long as you give the answers we came to get. Did Fúamnach have a child?”
Loki sniffed and eyed his favorite stalactite again. “Perhaps.”
“I’ll totally say it,” Cameron threatened.
Loki clenched his jaw and a “Yes,” hissed out between his teeth.
“Oh, God,” Selena groaned.
Cameron nodded and pointed to the stone bed before them. “That god.”
“What happened to the child?” Selena asked.
Loki tried to shrug but his arms were bound too tightly. He settled for a sigh and turned his face toward them again. “How should I know? I ended up in this cave shortly after finding out she was pregnant.”
They heard footsteps in the tunnel behind them as Sigyn finally made her way back from the frozen Canadian island. Selena turned to see the angry goddess, whose eyes darted between the Irish and her husband. And she noticed the Norse goddess’s features didn’t change when they settled on Loki.
“Oh,” Selena breathed. “That’s why you’ve been here. It had nothing to do with loyalty…”
Sigyn lifted her chin in the air as Loki laughed.
“Do you really think he turned himself into a salmon to try to escape from Thor?” Sigyn asked.
“Stop saying that name, woman!” Loki yelled.
The corners of Sigyn’s lips curled as she continued to address Cameron and Selena.
“You led the gods to him,” Selena said. “Because of the way he treated you?”
Sigyn’s eyes darted past her and settled on her husband. “No, because he conspired to have Baldr killed.”
“Um,” Cameron said, “this… just got weird.”
Selena nodded in complete agreement, even if it did help explain some odd stories in Norse mythology.
Selena turned on Loki and snapped, “So you can father… or even mother… all the illegitimate children you want, but your wife has an affair, and you have to kill the god?”
“I didn’t kill him,” Loki responded defensively.
“I think we should get out of Norway,” Cameron said to Selena. “Permanently. And the Norse have the nerve to ask what’s wrong with us.”
“Wait!” Loki shouted. “Take her with you!”
Sigyn crossed her arms and glared at her husband. “Why would they have any interest in making your existence more comfortable?”
“I answered your questions!” Loki insisted. “It’s the least you can do!”
“As a rule, I try not to get involved in marital disputes,” Cameron said, completely deadpan, although Selena knew he was messing with the Norse god. “Besides, we have our own goddess problem to deal with.”
Cameron squeezed Selena’s hand again and the cave, Loki’s eternal prison, disappeared.
Selena watched Cameron drum his fingers across the laminated wood table of the barbecue joint where he’d brought Badb and the Dagda. They’d already relayed all of the information they’d discovered about Fúamnach and Morgan’s possible ancestry and were awaiting the Dagda’s response.
The good god of the Irish continually blinked at his plate of half-eaten ribs and occasionally grabbed a napkin from the dispenser then seemed to remember he had an untouched one in his other hand. Badb vacillated between sipping on her iced tea and sighing, waiting for the Dagda to process news that had shocked them both, but ultimately, it would be his decision as to how to proceed.
“Well,” the Dagda finally said, reaching for another napkin, “we need Cameron and Selena, and even if I weren’t so fond of them, we owe it to Midir and Étain to protect them. But Morgan has been given the Sword. She’s already a goddess and a powerful one. What are we supposed to do, Cameron?”
“Honestly?” Cameron responded. “I think you should tell her the truth and see if it brings out any memories or anything. Ok, that’s not entirely true. My idea was to kill her, but Selena insisted we try this approach first.”
Badb offered her a sad smile and lifted an eyebrow at her. “And then what? If she doesn’t remember anything, if it’s really just a coincidental lineage like you and Ukko, how can we ever be sure?”
“How were you so sure my connection to Ukko was relatively meaningless?” Selena asked.
“Because of your destiny and your past. But especially considering who the father of Fúamnach’s child was, I can’t guarantee either of you that it isn’t one of her tricks, that she didn’t figure out how to pass herself onto future generations. And as the Dagda said: I love you both, but it’s so much more than that. I gave Midir my word I would protect Étain above all else.”
The Dagda nodded and his long beard brushed against his thick chest. He pushed his plate of ribs away and leaned his elbows on the table, giving Cameron a serious look Selena didn’t often see from the father figure of the Irish pantheon. He was almost as much of a jokester as Cameron.
“The druid did say we would need Nuada’s and Lugh’s heir in battle, and that without Dian Cécht’s heir, neither of them would matter. But we’ve all seen what Cameron can do. I say let’s take our chances with just Cameron and Selena.”
“And do what with Morgan?” Selena asked. “It’s not like we can just kill her if she’s not going to turn into Fúamnach.”
“She doesn’t need to turn into Fúamnach,” Badb pointed out. “Neither of you are going to turn into Midir and Étain because you only contain their spirits. This life you’ve been given is all your own. Once you met each other, it awakened who you used to be. What if the same is true for Morgan and now that she’s met you, these pieces of Fúamnach that have somehow lived on in her overtake her?”
“Since Selena insists we can’t kill her,” Cameron said, “maybe we could bind her in a cave until… do we even have our own apocalypse?”
“Does it matter?” the Dagda asked. “It’s the apocalypse. Only one pantheon needs to be right about it.”
“Conceded,” Cameron acknowledged.
“Hawaii?” Badb asked Selena.
“Let’s find Anita first,” Selena told her. “After everything we’ve put her through, she deserves to come with us.”
“Stop threatening to run away. I could totally find you anyway,” Cameron pretend-warned.
The Dagda eyed his plate of ribs, his appetite seemingly returning now that he’d decided to rid the Tuatha Dé of Morgan Honeywell. He waved a hand at Cameron and said, “Don’t worry, Son. I know Badb would quickly grow bored without anyone to fight, and it’s unlikely Selena would stay by herself.”
“I wouldn’t be alone,” Selena pointed out. “I’d have Anita with me.”
“Conceded,” the Dagda acknowledged.
“If you can find her,” Cameron argued. “Ukko probably has her hidden in some secret torture chamber.”
Badb shook her head and stuffed a fry in her mouth. “Not Anita. Everyone else, sure, but not her.”
Cameron wrinkled his nose and insisted, “He probably likes it kinky.”
“Keep it up, and I will disappear to Hawaii or any other place I don’t have to hear speculation about Ukko’s or Anita’s sex life,” Selena warned.
Cameron nodded and pulled a sheet of paper out of his jacket pocket. “I was all excited that I finally got to cross one of these assholes off my list, and now I have to add one back.” He crossed out Mithra’s name and wrote Morgan’s beside it.
The Dagda choked on his tea and between coughs asked him, “You actually keep a hit list?”
“Dude, half the gods still alive are trying to kill me or my girlfriend. It’s not easy keeping them all straight.”
Cameron refolded the piece of paper and tucked it back into his jacket pocket.
Badb gestured to it with another fry and said, “You could just destroy everyone except the Tuatha Dé and our allies and be done with it. Save yourself millennia of trouble.”
“Is that an option?” Cameron asked.
“No,” Selena answered. “And good God…”
“Yes?” the Dagda interrupted, looking up from his ribs.
Selena sighed and shook her head. “You all get distracted way too easily. No one has decided what to do about Morgan. So far, the only propositions have been murder and binding her in a cave like one of the most detested gods in Norse myths.”
“Not a myth,” Cameron said. “We just proved he’s real and is definitely bound inside a cave. Was he crazy before his imprisonment or is that a result of a couple thousand years of being stuck on a stone bed with his spiteful wife taunting him all the time?”
Badb snorted and lifted a shoulder at him. “Loki deserves it, although I’m not sure anyone outside of the Norse pantheon knew about her affair with Baldr or that was the reason he conspired to have him murdered.”
The Dagda nodded and put the now meatless rib back on his plate. “Having you two around certainly keeps things interesting.”
“Morgan,” Selena repeated. “Focus!”
“You’re making this a lot harder than it has to be,” Cameron insisted. “Badb and her sisters could solve this problem in like… four seconds.”
“Why four?” Badb asked defensively. “You seriously think it would take the three of us that long to kill Morgan?”
Cameron shrugged and reminded her, “I haven’t been around her since you gave her the Sword. I have no idea how powerful she is. You’ve been making a big deal out of her for almost two months now, so I just assumed she’s got to be pretty badass, right?”
Badb lifted her chin in the air and replied, “Well, she’s nothing like you. And I could handle her myself.”
“Then why do we even need her?” Cameron asked impatiently. “Hell, Badb, you made it seem like she was going to be some great warrior and we couldn’t win this war without her, but it sounds like she’s just… replaceable.”
Badb opened her mouth but the Dagda didn’t let her respond. “She is a great warrior… or is destined to be. But her power doesn’t rival yours. No one’s does, except maybe Huitzilopochtli who was supposed to be dead. I hate it when gods refuse to stay dead.”
“Um… I don’t think he ever was dead,” Selena reminded him.
The Dagda waved her off. “Close enough. What he’s doing…” The good god shuddered and plucked another rib off his plate.
Badb and Selena blinked at him as if expecting him to remember he was supposed to be telling them what to do about Morgan, their new queen, but Badb got tired of waiting and took the rib out of his hands. “Kill her, imprison her, banish her… and honestly, we don’t have many options for banishment anymore, or what? Tell us what to do!” she hissed.
The Dagda’s kind eyes followed his rib longingly. “Drop that and you’re buying me a new plate,” he told her.
“Answer us and I’ll buy you the whole damn restaurant,” Badb retorted.
The Dagda nodded as if that seemed completely reasonable. “We trap her. Cameron and Selena should come home with us and we’ll tell her about her past. Fúamnach’s past. Badb will know how she takes that information and if she even thinks about hurting either of you, then Badb can handle her.”
“Handle her,” Selena murmured.
Cameron put an arm around her and hugged her quickly. “If it’s her or us again… Selena, it’s our turn to have the life we deserved.”
Selena twisted her napkin in her hands as the gods at the table watched her. In the end, she knew they’d all defer to her, just as they always did even though she wasn’t even a goddess yet. Not really. She may contain the spirit of a goddess who had lived long ago, but in this body, she was a demigoddess, mortal and easily facing the same short lifespan of ordinary humans.
But now, they were asking her about the murder of someone else, asking her permission to kill someone, even if it were for Cameron’s and her safety.
Cameron’s hand slipped over hers and stopped her from twisting the napkin. “We deserve our life together,” he said softly. “You deserve the children you always wanted. If she’s harmless, Badb will know. And if she’s not, Selena…”
“Ok,” Selena whispered, lifting her eyes to meet Badb’s. Part of her thought how odd it seemed that Cameron had spent months trying to convince her they shouldn’t trust the war goddess, and now, he was the one urging her to place her faith in Badb. It’s Midir, she realized. He knew Badb and trusted her and now that Cameron remembers who he used to be, he can’t help holding onto the same feelings. She took a deep breath and said, “Let’s go home and confront her.”