Ukko refused to relinquish Anita’s body and the Tuatha Dé and their allies eventually left her home in Larken, Iowa, heartbroken and confused as to how Ukko had found her and where the Norse might be, but he had been inconsolable and no one expected him to reveal information when he not only mourned the loss of the only person he loved but blamed himself for her death.
Cameron and Badb kept trying to talk to Selena, but their voices seemed so distant and distorted, as if they were kids playing telephone with a couple of tin cans and a piece of string. The last person she’d lost she loved had been her mother, and she’d never not been able to save someone. But even her power had its limitations.
Badb touched her arm again and said, “Her spirit is certainly in Findias, Selena. You can still see her.”
Selena had a feeling that wasn’t the first time Badb had told her that. “It’s not the same, Badb. I’ve lived there, and it’s a beautiful afterlife, but it’s not the same.”
She heard Cameron sigh because he’d lived there, too, and he knew she spoke the truth.
What could compare to being alive? Even when living hurt, even in those moments when pain overwhelmed the other senses, they were reminders of being alive and having the chance to create life and sustain it and relish in all that living offered. And living offered the unknown and the unexpected, the chance that each day could bring Heaven or Hell. In Findias, Anita would have an eternity of safety and comfort and peace. She would spend each day knowing it would end exactly as the day before. And she would be separated from the spirit hers wanted most.
Selena covered her face with her hands and cried ugly loud sobs, and she felt so many arms surround her, she couldn’t identify them all. She only knew two of them. And she knew his voice.
Love, I’ll take you to Findias now and we’ll find her. You’ll see that it’s not so bad.
Selena shook her head into her hands.
But we had each other…
She would have died eventually anyway, and Ukko will only die if he’s killed. They both knew the danger of falling in love with each other. Maybe that’s why he let her go. Perhaps he thought it would be easier in the end.
Oh, Cameron. She’ll be alone forever… oh God… we shouldn’t have left him!
Cameron sighed aloud and Selena felt some of those arms loosen around her.
“What is it?” Badb asked softly. She had most likely sensed they’d been conversing silently but had respected their privacy.
“She’s worried that Ukko will end his life now and that we shouldn’t have left him. Can gods even kill themselves?”
“Of course they can,” Badb answered. “I’ll go back…”
“No,” Selena interrupted, lifting her head and wiping her eyes on her jacket sleeve. “Let Cameron and me go. You go back to finding Morgan. You have a long history with Ukko and it’s not exactly a pleasant one. Whether I like it or not, I’m related to him, and I’ll use that if I have to.”
Cameron brought her back to Anita’s house where nothing had changed. Ukko still sat on the floor of her demolished living room, cradling Anita’s lifeless body.
“Why are you back?” he asked, his voice as dead as the body he held close to his chest.
“For you,” Selena told him. “No matter what you’ve done, I won’t abandon you now. Anita loved you. That’s enough of a reason to help you.”
“How?” Ukko asked. He lifted his pale blue eyes to meet hers and Selena’s heart ruptured. If it were ever possible to see into someone’s soul, then she glimpsed his, writhing in an agony she couldn’t possibly understand. But Cameron understood all too well.
“She’s in Findias,” he told Ukko. “I haven’t confirmed it, but she has to be. I know it isn’t the same…”
“I was so stupid,” Ukko mumbled. “So, so stupid.”
Selena wasn’t sure he’d even heard anything Cameron had tried to tell him.
Cameron knelt in front of him and sighed. “I already know the answer to this, but I’m asking anyway: did you know Midir?”
Ukko blinked at him, his light blonde eyebrows pulling together in confusion. “Yes. He died a long time ago.”
“Yeah… but I was lucky enough to fall in love with the most extraordinary goddess this universe has ever created. And then she was taken from me, and I waited centuries for her to return. On the day I thought I’d finally be reunited with Étain, we were both murdered, and our spirits spent countless years in Findias together. And because we were together, we were happy. But Étain wanted something we could never have unless we were alive, and so here we are. So believe me: I get what it’s like to lose the person you love more than yourself or this world or any other.”
“Reincarnated,” Ukko whispered. He looked down at Anita’s face again and stroked her cheek. “Midir and Étain deserved a second chance. What have I ever done to deserve a favor from Fate?”
“We don’t even know if Anita would want to return,” Selena said. “And even if she did, you’re right: reincarnation is so rare and the gods who were able to guide spirits back to the living have mostly died out. But Morgan Honeywell isn’t our new queen, and after the Battle of the Gods, Cameron and I intend to change the way the Tuatha Dé treats other gods. We’ll make sure Findias is open to you so that you can see her whenever you want.”
Ukko sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around Anita’s body. “You can’t trust the gods just because you’re better than them, Selena. This is what they do. What had she done to Odin? How had she threatened him?”
“How did you find her?” Cameron asked.
Ukko opened his eyes and sighed again. “Same way, I suppose, that you and Selena would be able to find each other now. I never lost my connection to her. After we broke up, I used to check on her frequently, but it became too painful, and I eventually ignored it. But it’s always been there. Odin…”
Ukko’s eyes glazed over and Selena noticed the air in the room shifting, charging with the electricity he could command as his grief turned to anger. “He tried to prevent me from reaching her, and as soon as he realized I’d found her, he did this!” Ukko hissed.
Selena’s skin prickled as the intensity of Ukko’s storm raged. Cameron didn’t stand or move. If he were worried about being caught in the crossfire of Ukko’s anger, he hid it well. “I’m not letting Odin survive the Battle of the Gods,” Cameron promised him. “He survived the last time because no one could kill him. I am going to kill this bastard.”
Ukko sucked in a quick breath and shook his head. “Not alone. I’m going with you.”
“Ukko…”
“No!” he shouted, the glass in the windows exploding from the panes. Selena backed farther away, wishing Cameron would follow her, but he still didn’t move. “Look at her, Cameron! He did this to her because of me! I can’t kill him on my own, but with your help… I have to do this for Anita.”
Selena could feel the indecision stirring within her boyfriend but he inhaled a slow, deep breath then nodded. “Ok, Ukko. But from now on, you have to consider yourself an ally of the Tuatha Dé. Not your agency, but you. I just need to know we can trust you.”
Ukko extended his arms to show the young sun god the body he held and assured him, “Do you need more proof that you have my loyalty through this Battle?”
“No,” Cameron answered. “But I think we should hide her body until we can plan a proper funeral because we need to go to Findias and find her. We need to know why Odin abducted her and how he found her and what he’d hoped to accomplish by taking her in the first place.”
The air in the room slowly returned to normal as Ukko reined in his power. He nodded and pulled Anita closer again as he stood up. “I’ll bring her somewhere safe and meet you in Findias. She’ll try to talk me out of participating in this Battle because she’ll be afraid I’ll die. Don’t let her change your mind, Cameron.”
Cameron stood, too, and offered the Finnish thunder god a small smile. “Don’t worry, Ukko. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m awfully damn stubborn. I’ll make sure you march into this Battle at our side. No one will take your revenge away from you.”
And Ukko, the god Selena had once been convinced was her greatest enemy and the only god she had to fear, smiled back at them. “I think we’ve finally learned to understand one another.”
Cameron and Selena waited outside the magnificent red palace with Uscias. He’d assured them Anita had, in fact, arrived in Findias, but they asked him not to bring her to them until Ukko arrived. They wanted time to allow the thunder god to prepare himself for seeing the spirit of the woman he loved.
Selena wasn’t overly surprised that Cameron and Uscias passed the time by chatting about food, specifically shrimp po-boys. Cameron was telling the wise man how to make a perfect po-boy, and Uscias nodded thoughtfully, occasionally interrupting him to seek clarification about how much butter to use to toast the French bread or what seasonings he should use in the flour to batter the shrimp before frying.
“Are they seriously discussing sandwiches?” Ukko asked.
His voice startled Selena and she jumped and glanced over her shoulder at him.
“Sh,” she warned. “They’re fancy sandwiches.”
“How can you gods be thousands of years old and not know this?” Cameron exclaimed.
“Can I get Anita now?” Usicas asked.
Selena looked at Ukko who closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. “Yes,” he whispered.
“Ukko…” a familiar voice whispered back.
Selena turned in the direction of Anita’s voice and gasped. She almost didn’t recognize the woman who stood before them because the woman she’d known and befriended had been fifty-seven, but this woman looked like she could be Selena’s sister. She’d always thought Anita Granger was pretty, but as a young woman, she was breathtaking, and it wasn’t only Selena’s breath that got taken away.
“Anita,” Ukko said softly, his voice catching on her name. He swallowed and tried again. “I am so sorry. I tried to get to you in time, but…”
Anita shook her head and blinked at the Finnish god then took a few steps to close the space between them, throwing her arms around his neck and crying, “It’s not your fault, Ukko. Don’t live the rest of your life blaming yourself. There’s only one god who can be blamed.”
“And he won’t escape from me,” Ukko promised. “Not again.”
Anita stepped back from him and fixed him with the same stern expression she’d so often used to scold Cameron and Jasper. “You stay out of their war, Ukko. Cameron can handle it.”
Ukko immediately shook his head and put his hand over hers. “He killed you because he knew I’d found you. Cameron has already agreed I can join him.”
Anita turned that stern expression on the young sun god who held his hands up and backed away from her. “Don’t yell,” he begged. “Ukko needs to do this, and neither of us has the right to tell him he can’t fight in a war half the supernatural world is taking sides in anyway.”
Anita narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth but Ukko put his fingers over her lips and stopped her. “He’s right, Anita. And if I die… is it really the worst outcome? If you’ll still have me, then how could death be so terrible?”
“Because you only have one chance to live!” Anita exclaimed.
Ukko smiled at her and shrugged. “And I’ve lived for over three thousand years. As a mortal, you got to experience life differently.”
Anita laughed and offered him a sly smile that made Selena’s heart feel so much lighter. Cameron must have noticed because he put an arm around her and kissed the side of her head.
“You mean I got old and unattractive,” Anita teased.
Ukko shook his head, looking genuinely puzzled. “You got older, but Anita… you were just as beautiful then as when I met you.” He lifted a hand and tucked a small pink flower behind her ear, and Anita gently touched its petals, her green eyes sparkling with tears.
Um… I missed something, Cameron told Selena.
Dog rose. They’re common wildflowers in Ireland, and he used to bring them to her all the time.
I suddenly really want that shrimp po-boy. Or to go find your mom. Or pretty much anything that gets me out of… oh, hell, they’re kissing. I’m going to end up in this place because this is going to kill me.
Selena pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t laugh and tugged on his hand. “Let’s give them some privacy,” she whispered.
She noticed Uscias had already taken off and Cameron must have noticed, too, because he muttered, “Coward.”
But Ukko didn’t let either of them disappear like they wanted. “We need to find out why Odin abducted you.”
“Dude,” Cameron warned, “you need to step back like… ten feet. If I see any more body parts touching, I’m totally going AWOL on all of you.”
“Even me?” Selena asked.
“Of course not. I’ll take you with me. But this makes Loki’s cave seem like a paradise.”
“Cameron,” Anita scolded, “grow up.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, even though Anita Granger didn’t look any older than either him or Selena anymore.
Ukko sighed and rolled his eyes then turned back to Anita. “Do you know why Odin took you? And how he even found you?”
Anita shook her head slowly. “Jeff and I were watching television…” She paused and addressed Cameron and Selena, “He’s a young god, too. A nice young man.” Anita sighed and closed her eyes. She didn’t need to tell them Odin hadn’t allowed anyone else inside that house to survive, but she added, “He was.”
“Where did he take you?” Cameron asked. “Did he tell you anything?”
“He was hoping to take me with him into the battlefield to distract you,” she answered. “After the lake and the death of Sleipnir, he knows fighting you will be his biggest challenge, and he can’t get near Selena.”
“Was Thor around?” Selena asked.
Anita gave her a strange look then shrugged. “I didn’t see him. Why?”
“I just suspect Thor will fight because he believes he has to. I don’t think he wants to kill us as badly as his father does. He’d actually be willing to compromise if he had the chance.”
“Doesn’t matter now,” Ukko pointed out. “Odin has escaped and is leading his pantheon again and no one will question him. With Perun gone, his alliance with the Slavs may be in jeopardy, but that won’t stop him from launching this invasion anyway. He’s always suffered from an inflated ego and he’ll march into Murias on his own if he had to.”
“Did you ever find my relative that’s supposed to be Nuada’s heir?” Anita asked.
“Yeah, about that,” Cameron said. “We may have actually found the evil demigoddess who murdered us in a past life and mistakenly given her the Sword.”
Anita blinked at him then asked, “What?”
“Short version,” Selena offered. “We used to be Midir and Étain, and Fúamnach had a secret love child with Loki and most likely figured out a way to keep her spirit imbued in the DNA of this child, and Morgan Honeywell is descended from her. So we lost the Sword, again, still don’t know who the real ruler is supposed to be, and have a psycho out there somewhere looking for us that we stupidly armed.”
“I…” Anita shook her head then crossed her arms. “You know what? I’m glad I’m dead.”
“Anita,” Ukko sighed.
“If that’s all you know about Odin, then we really are going to leave before you two start making out again,” Cameron said. “That and we have a demigoddess turned goddess to find so we can get our Sword back, a real heir to hunt down, Alan to kill, a battle to plan, and an Aztec cannibalistic asshole who took off on me in Houston before I could burn his ass to the ground along with his apartment.”
“And Mithra?” Anita asked.
“Dead,” Cameron responded. “The only easy part of our lives for the past two months.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’d say it was the only easy part,” Selena teased.
“God,” Ukko groaned. “Just leave.”
“Not until you tell me which god first,” Cameron retorted.
“You,” Ukko shot back.
Cameron smiled and winked at Selena. “I’ve been asking him that since New Orleans. He finally answered me.”
Selena smiled back at him and took his hand, giving Anita one last look before the hunt for the Unbreakable Sword resumed. “When you have a little… free time,” she emphasized, letting her eyes roam suggestively to Ukko, “go find my mom. You’ll love her.”
“If she’s anything like you, Selena, then I know I will,” Anita told her.
“So… we’re back to becoming Sword hunters,” Cameron sighed.
Selena nodded and squeezed his hand. “We found it once. Grab Jasper and Doug and let’s do this again.”