Coward. Luke wasn’t referring to Aislinn, who was looking up at him with her chin up, determination in her eyes, and all the courage of a badger facing off a bear. He was the coward. Marriage? Few things scared the hell out of him, but that word did. He was committed to himself. Committed to a life of adventure and excitement. Of going where he wanted, when he wanted. That need had been within him for as long as he could remember, and he hadn’t known happiness, true happiness, until he’d followed that longing.
He’d said he was willing to do whatever it took for Fern and Ivy, and had truly believed that. Until a moment ago, when she’d announced they would wed as soon as possible. A commitment like that was not within him. Never had been. He didn’t want anyone to depend on him to that level.
There had to be another way. A simpler, far less complicated option than marriage. Although it could solve the issues he was facing. Possibly. Nothing was guaranteed in this situation.
Furthermore, marriage was certain to introduce other problems, in too many ways to count. He had a ranch to return to and couldn’t do that with a wife here in England. A wife! What the hell was he thinking? He’d sworn off marriage years ago, when he’d learned that a woman would take the wanderlust out of him. His father had told him that, as had Rowland. Hell, even Percy had changed when he married Hazel. He’d always been selfish, but had turned even more so, claiming that whatever Hazel wanted, Hazel got.
No, marriage was off the table.
‘Well, now,’ Mr Watson said, ‘that is an interesting addition, and brings up another topic that has been brought to my attention.’
Luke pulled his eyes off Aislinn to look at the solicitor. For a moment, he’d forgotten the man was in the room with them. Now, that was ironic, considering they were in his office. Letting the air out of his lungs slowly, Luke asked, ‘What topic would that be?’
What else could there be? Percy had already thwarted him at every corner, and Luke was more than tired of having to deal with his brother’s vast collection of attacks.
‘It concerns Miss Blaydon,’ Mr Watson said.
The man was still seated, and Luke reached over to touch Aislinn’s arm, encouraging her to sit. Once she had, he returned to his seat, as well. ‘What concerns Miss Blaydon?’ he asked.
‘Your brother is not the only one who has informants inside the courts,’ Mr Watson said.
Luke wasn’t surprised that the solicitor would have insiders, nor overly interested at that specific moment. His concerns were heavily leaning towards Aislinn and whatever she had to do with a topic that had been brought to the solicitor’s attention.
‘Along with the petitions the Duke of Havenbrook submitted to obtain guardianship of Fern and Ivy,’ Mr Watson said, ‘was a petition for him to become Miss Blaydon’s guardian, as well.’
‘My guardian?’ Aislinn questioned.
At the same time, Luke said, ‘She doesn’t need a guardian.’
Mr Watson nodded at her, before stating, ‘No, she doesn’t, because she already has one assigned to her until the age of twenty-one. The Duke is looking to have guardianship transferred to him.’
‘How can I have a guardian?’ she questioned, glancing between him and the solicitor. ‘I’ve never been informed of such a person.’
Luke took a hold of her hand, squeezed it. ‘Assigned by whom? For what purpose?’
‘You were raised in an orphanage, were you not?’ Mr Watson asked her.
‘Yes.’
‘All orphans, as well as others who are incapable of taking care of themselves and without direct family to oversee their care, are considered to be under the Monarch’s care by law,’ Mr Watson explained. ‘The Monarch has delegated the care of such charges to the Lord Chancellor of the Court of Chancery. Due to the large number of orphans and those in need of oversight, their guardianships are assigned to a number of solicitors who work with the court.’
‘She’s assigned to you?’ Luke asked.
‘No, but to a close acquaintance of mine, Mr Gaines. He became aware of the Duke’s desire to obtain guardianship of your nieces and contacted me yesterday about the unusual request that he’d received concerning Miss Blaydon.’ Mr Watson shifted his gaze to her again. ‘It is my understanding that you lived at the orphanage until the age of sixteen.’
‘Yes, that’s when I went to work for the Duke and Duchess,’ she replied, ‘and have remained there for over four years.’
‘So you are not yet twenty-one?’
‘No,’ she replied. ‘I will be this fall.’
Luke held on tighter to her hand at the way it trembled. ‘There is no reason for Percy to have guardianship over her.’
Mr Watson took off his glasses. ‘Until she is twenty-one, a guardian is the only person who can grant permission for her to marry.’
Luke’s mind suddenly raced in several directions, all leading to one end. The same end as always. Percy. Was this one more way he was trying to thwart him? Making every aspect of this harder than it needed to be?
‘I’ve never been interested in marriage,’ she told Mr Watson. ‘Not until...’ She swallowed visibly and her cheeks flushed red. ‘I met Luke.’
Damn it. That comment just caused his heart to lose its foothold inside his chest. It felt as if it was tumbling over a cliff, head over heels, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Hell. He wanted to fulfil Rowland’s wishes, wanted to be the guardian of his nieces, and was willing to do whatever it took. But marriage? To Aislinn? He was already having a hard time controlling his thoughts. Thoughts that would go as wild as his heart if they were married.
He’d just determined that was not going to happen, therefore, gathering the few bits of common sense that he could, he asked, Mr Watson, ‘Has the change in her guardianship been granted?’
‘No,’ the man answered.
Luke nodded, processing all he could, while trying to figure out what to do. ‘At the present moment, the only person who can grant permission for Aislinn to marry is this solicitor friend of yours?’
‘Yes.’ Mr Watson looked at him over the rim of his glasses. ‘Would you like me to contact him? Meet with him?’
What he wanted was more time to think about this, to process things. To talk to Aislinn. Yes, that’s what he needed to do. Talk to her about this. In private. There had to be a reason that Percy wanted guardianship over her. Control, no doubt, but if that was the case, why had he fired her?
‘Yes, please contact him,’ Luke said. Maybe her guardian could shed some light on the situation. He stood. ‘We will return in a few hours to meet with both of you.’
Mr Watson stated a time, and Luke agreed. Then he stepped back, waiting for Aislinn to rise, and gently took a hold of her elbow to escort her to the door.
Luke had been scared a time or two, confused as to which trail to take, but had ultimately got over his fear and chosen a path. That’s what he needed to do right now.
Trouble was, it wasn’t just about him this time. Aislinn was innocent in all of this. He’d pulled her into it and made her vulnerable, someone who needed him as badly as the girls.
While travelling to England, he’d figured that all he’d need to do was confirm the wants of Rowland’s will, put a few things in place to make sure the girls were safe and secure, and then he’d be able to return to America. Of course, he’d planned that he’d need to make regular trips to England yearly, to see for himself that all was well.
That had been his plan. That he’d find someone to see to the actual raising of Fern and Ivy. It may not have been the best plan, but it had been the one he’d come up with, and meeting her on the road had suggested it could work out. She certainly loved the girls and would do a fine job raising them. However, he’d come up with that plan before witnessing just how adamant Percy was about not honouring Rowland’s wishes.
Everything was up in the air now, and he hated that.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered as they walked out of the building. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘Hold that thought,’ he said, and gestured for her to climb into the carriage. Once she had, he told Benjamin to take them to the bank that held his assets.
As soon as he climbed in, she said, ‘I am truly sorry.’
He took a seat on the padded bench across from her. ‘Why did you say that?’
‘I don’t know. The thought just popped into my head while you were talking about Percy marrying the girls off. I couldn’t stand the thought of that, and—’ She shook her head. ‘I should have kept my mouth shut.’
‘Well, let’s just think about this for a minute,’ he said, needing to do just that.
She pinched her lips together and turned her gaze to the window as the carriage began to roll.
A sigh built up at how sorrowful and timid she looked. ‘It’s not a bad idea, it just took me by surprise.’ He had to let the air out of his lungs and did so as quietly as possible. ‘And it won’t work.’
Without looking his way, she nodded. ‘I understand that someone of your stature would never marry the likes of me.’
Ire flared inside him. ‘The likes of you? There is nothing wrong with you. Any man would be honoured to marry you.’
She sighed and turned from the window. ‘I’ve never thought of marriage before today. Honestly.’ The sorrow in her eyes increased as she added, ‘I only said that I’d thought about it after meeting you to make Mr Watson believe that we were getting married. I—I didn’t want him to think I was lying, or scheming, or...’ She huffed out a breath. ‘I don’t know. It’s just that it seemed like a good plan in my head. If you were married, there would be no reason for you to not get guardianship. Mr Watson said that—’
‘I know what he said,’ Luke interrupted. He didn’t want to be convinced that this plan might be a good one. ‘You don’t want to be married to me.’
‘This isn’t about what I want—it’s about Fern and Ivy. I can’t bear the idea of them being married off—’
‘I know,’ he interrupted again, not wanting to think about Percy arranging marriages for them. That idea nearly gutted him. Flipping the subject back to her, he asked, ‘Why haven’t you thought of marriage before? Every woman wants to get married.’
‘Perhaps they do, just not me. Fern and Ivy are...well, I love them. Love them dearly, and I can’t imagine living without them. I want to be with them until they no longer need me.’
‘What happens then? Once they are grown?’
She shrugged. ‘I’ve never thought that far ahead, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is the here and now.’
Right now, that was true. He shook his head. ‘Marriage is for ever.’
‘I understand why it won’t work for you,’ she said.
‘No, it’s not me that I’m thinking about.’ That wasn’t completely true. ‘Strike that. It’s not just me that I’m thinking about. If we were to get married, it would be for ever. Is that something we could both live with?’
‘We wouldn’t really have to be married,’ she said.
‘I don’t believe there is a way to get married, without being married.’ Other than an annulment, and he really didn’t want to have to explain what that meant to her. She might know. He wasn’t sure either way, but just the thought of that discussion made his throat lock up. It affected other parts of him, too. This whole conversation needed to end. They couldn’t get married, that’s all there was to it.
‘There is,’ she said. ‘Once you’ve obtained guardianship, you could return to America, and I would remain here with the girls, at the London home. Plenty of women have husbands who are sea captains, or men who work away from home for extended lengths of time. We’ll have the servants to help us.’
‘What if you find someone that you want to be married to?’ he asked. ‘Someone you love?’
‘That won’t happen,’ she said immediately. ‘I love the girls too much for that to ever happen.’ She grimaced. ‘But I suppose that won’t work for you, if you find someone you want to marry.’
‘No,’ he said, thinking that the plan she’d just come up with was a close match for the one he’d planned while travelling to England. ‘I mean, yes, that would work for me, because I also have no interest in a real marriage.’ In fact, what she said would stop him from ever having to worry about getting married again. He could travel back here once a year or so, and with Doo at the house, she and the girls would be protected.
‘You don’t?’
‘No, never have.’
‘So this could work for us?’ she asked. ‘To be married, but not really married?’
He heard the hope in her voice, but was still questioning if it was something he could live with when a knock sounded on the carriage door. He wasn’t sure how long they had been sitting still.
Opening the door, he nodded at Benjamin. ‘Thank you. We won’t be long.’
Luke exited the carriage and held out a hand to assist Aislinn in stepping out.
He had to admit that the idea was growing on him, but there was one thing he needed to know before making up his mind. Why Percy had wanted to become her guardian. There had to be a reason, and he was beginning to wonder if it was because Percy had already thought of this plan. The two of them marrying. It would solve things. And it was devious enough to be something that Percy would have thought of and attempted to prevent from happening. For the very reason that Mr Watson had pointed out. As an unmarried man, he was not a suitable candidate to be a guardian. Leastwise, not as suitable as the married brother.
Percy, once again, was not taking into consideration that he was willing to do whatever it took to fulfil his promise to Rowland. It was the least he could do for a brother who had loved him unconditionally.
Taking hold of her elbow, he escorted Aislinn inside the bank, the idea growing on him.
Seriously growing on him.
After taking care of his banking needs, he escorted her inside the tailor’s shop, since it was right across the street. He needed a pair of boots that didn’t hurt his feet. They wouldn’t compare to his old ones, but those were too scruffy to wear around town. The tailor referred him to a boot maker up the street, but while he was there, he ordered shirts, pants, coats, and other items that wouldn’t be so tight that he was afraid of ripping out seams at every step.
The tailor, a balding man with a flat nose, also referred him next door, to his wife’s dress shop. Actually, the man had suggested that Aislinn might be more comfortable waiting next door while he was measured for the new clothes.
Luke answered for her. Said she’d wait for him.
She didn’t utter a word in agreement nor disagreement. He didn’t know where the yellow dress she was wearing had come from, but he knew the small bag she’d brought from Havenbrook for herself hadn’t held much.
As they left the tailor’s shop, with his destination clear, she stopped walking. ‘There is no need to stop at the dressmakers.’
‘Yes, there is,’ he said, slightly tugging her towards the shop door. ‘The wife of a Carlisle can’t walk around dressed like a servant.’
She gasped slightly, and her eyes grew as round as gold coins.
Though his heart hammered in his chest at the idea of marriage, he shrugged. ‘It’s a viable plan. Right now, we have a lot of errands to see to.’
She nodded, but as soon as they entered the store, she quietly said, ‘I don’t need much.’
‘Consider it part of the job,’ he replied, then grinned at the shop owner and told her that Aislinn would need several dresses and whatever else went with them.
Like her husband, the shop owner referred him next door, to wait while Aislinn was measured and items were chosen. He said he’d wait right there.
Tall, with reddish brown hair, the woman offered him a newspaper, before leading Aislinn into a back room.
He glanced at the paper, but didn’t read the words. Truth was, he didn’t mind the silence. It was giving his anger time to fully solidify. An anger that would remain with him for eternity. He was no one’s fool, and once again, fury at Percy for attempting to make him look like one took hold.
It could be quite humiliating, being forced into the one thing he’d never wanted. Marriage. But he wouldn’t let it bruise his pride, nor would he let it break him. Instead, he would use it to his full advantage. He would step back into his role as a Carlisle, as a man who took advantage of his family’s social status, and show Percy how powerful he could be, without needing to inherit a title.
What felt like hours later, they left the dress shop, then visited the boot maker. After that, he directed Benjamin to take them to the nearest stable. He needed a horse. A decent one, so he could travel at will.
He made his choice—a sound thoroughbred gelding, brown, with four white socks—and requested it be delivered to the London home. Then they set about visiting various stores and vendors to set up accounts for the necessary supplies for the house. As Doo had told him, all of the accounts had been closed by Percy.
The shop owners and venders were all friendly and glad he’d brought the household’s business back to them, having feared they’d done something wrong.
Aislinn remained quiet, answering only when questioned directly.
By the time all that was done, it was well into the afternoon. ‘I’m sorry, there’s not enough time to eat at a restaurant before we are due back at Mr Watson’s office, but we could find a street vendor if you’d like.’
‘No,’ she replied. ‘I’m not hungry.’
She’d grown pale. Her face nearly as white as the lace on her dress, and that concerned him. Made him wonder if she was regretting coming up with this plan. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure.’
He wasn’t hungry, either. ‘Well, then, let’s go see what they have to say.’
Luke wasn’t overly sure what he hoped to hear. That he and Aislinn could, or couldn’t, get married. There was a chance that her guardian would say no if he felt it was a sham. It wasn’t a sham, as much as a plan. A plan that could work, for both of them. That’s where his fear came in. Could he be married to her, but not really be married to her? He wasn’t made of stone, and she was an incredibly attractive woman. His mind and body had recognised that from the moment he’d met her.
Standing at the elaborate altar in one of the finest churches in all of London, Aislinn desperately fought back a bout of tears. She wasn’t afraid, nor sad, she was just very nervous about what she was embarking upon. Marriage was not something she’d ever thought about for herself. There had been no reason. While growing up in the orphanage, she’d wanted a family, but had never connected that to marriage. She’d thought about parents and siblings, not a husband. That was for women, and she’d just been a girl.
Upon accepting her position with the Duke and Duchess, she’d felt as if she’d found the family she’d sought. In Fern and Ivy. That was probably hard for others to understand, but it wasn’t for her. They’d filled her heart with a love that she’d never known. Or at least couldn’t remember.
Maybe she should have thought about it, because she was worried about what this marriage would do to Luke. She had come to care for him, and that’s what made her so very nervous. What if he did find someone he wanted to marry? In America? Was it fair of her to take away his future happiness?
Perhaps she should have put more thought into the future, rather than just thinking about the present. But all she’d thought about was Fern and Ivy.
She still couldn’t figure out why Percy had wanted to obtain guardianship over her. That made no logical sense. Mr Gaines was a tall man, who blinked his eyes excessively, but seemed kind. Although he hadn’t been able to provide any insight into why Percy had wanted guardianship over her.
Not that they’d had much of a chance to discuss the topic. The meeting had focused on their wedding.
It had all happened so quickly, she still felt as if her head was spinning.
Mr Gaines had explained that he’d secured the special licence, after he’d questioned if either of them were being coerced into the union unwillingly. The licence would be null and void if that were the case.
Luke had said no, and she’d agreed with his answer. Immediately following that, they’d travelled here, to the church, for the marriage to take place.
Both solicitors were in attendance for the service, as two witnesses were required by law.
Luke had been unusually quiet during the trip to the church and since arriving. That made her nervous, too, wondering if he already regretted agreeing to her plan. She had been the one to come up with it, blurt it out in front of Mr Watson. Luke had agreed, but that didn’t mean he wanted it.
She wasn’t convinced that she wanted it, either. Being married to him would change her position, and that was a role she had not been trained for. Anxiety over what might be expected of her had every ounce of her being trembling.
The first words spoken by the clergyman startled her. The church was empty, and the man’s words echoed off the walls and ceiling. Luke stood across from her. The permanent grin was on his face, but it looked strained.
She had a difficult time meeting his gaze, yet forced herself to do so as the ceremony commenced. It was short. Lasted no longer than it took for each of them to repeat their vows and the clergyman to pronounce them man and wife.
Luke kissed her cheek, an action that made her stomach bubble, before they walked down the aisle much as they’d walked up it. With a deep silence echoing around them. Aislinn had never dreamed of a fairy-tale wedding. In fact, her thoughts about weddings had been similar to those about marriage. Nil.
However, she had attended a wedding or two, and this one held no comparison to the joviality and fanfare of those events.
Near the door of the church, they paused long enough to sign their names, at which point Mr Watson had to remind her to write Carlisle instead of Blaydon. Then both solicitors wished them well, and Mr Watson explained that he would have an official notice of their wedding published in the papers the following morning.
Aislinn tried her best to act natural, grateful for their help, but it was growing harder and harder.
Upon climbing in the carriage, she leaned against the padded backrest and closed her eyes. Between the extraordinarily unusual events of the day, her nerves, and not eating, her head was pounding. The carriage wheels rolling over the cobblestones sounded extra loud, adding to the pain, and the thought of returning to the house, where everyone would learn that they were married, made her empty stomach churn.
It didn’t take long before that happened—the arrival at the house.
‘I’ll let the staff know what happened today,’ Luke said, as he opened the carriage door.
She nodded, even though her head was still aching. A moment later, the joyous greeting she was provided from Fern and Ivy made her briefly forget her headache.
Their giggles and hugs affected Luke, too. His eyes shone as both Fern and Ivy declared that they’d missed him.
‘I was just taking them up to the nursery,’ Claire said, from where they all stood in the foyer. ‘For the evening meal.’
‘I will take them up,’ Aislinn said, not ready to answer the questions she was sure everyone would soon have.
Luke gave her a slight nod, before he said to Claire, ‘Mrs Moore, I would like to speak with you for a moment.’ He then looked at the butler. ‘You, too, Mr Houghton.’
It wasn’t lost on Aislinn that he’d hadn’t used their first names as usual, nor was it lost on the servants.
Gabe and Claire agreed, and as Luke walked down the hallway, Claire took a hold of Aislinn’s hand.
‘What happened?’ Claire asked quietly. ‘With all the supplies that arrived, we thought everything would be fine.’
‘Everything is fine,’ Aislinn said, hoping it wasn’t a lie. ‘We’ll talk later.’ She pulled up a smile for Fern and Ivy and, taking their hands, listened as they excitedly told her about their day while climbing the steps to the second floor.
Lamps had been lit in the nursery, for the sun had slipped towards the horizon, leaving a slow-growing dusk in its wake. Aislinn directed the girls to the washstand, and while they were cleaning their hands, she removed the hat from her head and carried it through the connecting door to her room.
There, she quickly drank a glass of water poured from the pitcher on the stand, hoping that would help ease her headache, and then returned to the nursery. There wasn’t time to change her dress, though that may have helped, too. She wished things could return to normal, but that could never happen now.
How could it? She was married.
Married.
That was surreal.
She didn’t feel married, but she wasn’t supposed to. That is what they’d agreed upon. Being married, but not being married. She’d suggested that, but had no idea what it meant.
A knock on the door sounded when the girls’ evening meal arrived, and she was glad to see the pot of tea. She could use the fortification.
Once the girls were settled at the table, eating, she poured herself a cup. But she was only halfway through drinking the warm brew when the door opened.
Claire walked in, shaking her head and hosting a befuddled expression. She closed the door and leaned against it. ‘Mr Carlisle would like to see you in the study. What in the world happened?’
The cup clattered as Aislinn set it on the saucer, wondering exactly what Luke had said. Drawing in a breath of air, she stood. ‘Too much to explain right now.’
‘It’s true?’ Claire asked. ‘The two of you are married?’
‘Yes, that is true,’ Aislinn admitted, walking towards the door.
Claire shifted uneasily. ‘Gabe is sharing the news with the others.’ Her gaze went to the girls. ‘Mr Carlisle informed me that I’ll be Fern and Ivy’s governess for the time being.’
Air rushed into her lungs so fast, Aislinn coughed to the point she couldn’t speak.
‘I agreed, of course, but Aislinn...’ Claire shook her head and shrugged.
A flash of anger erupted inside Aislinn. She had not married him to give up her post. Staying with the girls was the very reason she had married him. Stepping forward, she gave Claire a quick embrace. ‘All will be fine. I promise.’
As she left the room, she wished someone would tell her that, but there was no one. She was not only on her own, there were others she needed to protect. Claire had duties here, and her husband. More importantly, the girls were her responsibility, and the very essence of the marriage.
She forced herself to take a deep breath, before she worked herself into a frenzy of nerves all over again. He’d understood her reasons earlier today, so why not now?
Luke wasn’t waiting for her in the study, he was in the hallway. ‘Dinner is being served,’ he said, with a nod towards the dining room. ‘I know you haven’t eaten since breakfast.’
He hadn’t eaten all day, either, and she now understood why there hadn’t been a plate for her on the tray delivered to the nursery. Maybe food would put them both in a better mood. Furthermore, she wasn’t going to have a discussion with him in the hallway.
She gave a slight nod, then walked beside him to the dining room.
They were served and ate, with Gabe standing near the door that led to the kitchen, ready to respond if anything was needed. The food was plentiful, and she was sure it was delicious, Doo’s meals always were, but she had too many other things on her mind to pay a lot of attention to the meal. She ate enough to ease the emptiness in her stomach, feeling guilty at the waste, but she was still queasy. That could very well increase when she and Luke began talking.
She rehearsed things she wanted to say during the silence and kept needing to push down the sense of panic that wanted to overtake her. Being bold or vocal wasn’t comfortable for her, but she had to make her point.
As Gabe set a piece of lemon cake before her, she smiled at him. ‘Please tell Mr Dobbs the meal was delicious.’
‘I shall, my lady.’
The address made her spine stiffen. Her role had changed, and with that came responsibilities that she’d have to fulfil and a lot of learning to do. She ate a couple bites of the cake, just to be polite, then set down her fork and looked at Luke.
He set down his fork, too. ‘Let’s take a walk outside.’
‘Outside?’ she asked, surprised at the suggestion.
He stood and walked around the corner of the table to her chair. ‘Yes, outside.’ He leaned closer as she rose from her chair. ‘At the moment, there is not a room in this house that wouldn’t have an ear pressed against the door.’
She couldn’t deny that possibility.
They exited the house through the back door, into the garden that smelled of flowers in bloom. Rosebushes lined the back of the house below the private balcony of the family bedrooms. It was that time of night when dusk had given way completely, but the stars and moon weren’t at their brightest, leaving things just dark enough to be blurry.
Halfway across the backyard there was a bench that she often sat upon while the girls played, and that is where she and Luke stopped. Neither took a seat, just stood, side by side, silent for a moment.
She used that time to build up her courage, then said, ‘I did not suggest marriage as a solution only to lose my post as governess.’
‘I know.’ He let out a long sigh. ‘I’m afraid that there are several things we didn’t think about while discussing this plan today.’
The courage she had managed to find began to wane. She walked over to the bench, rested her hands on the back of it for support. ‘What things?’
He walked to the front of the bench and faced her. ‘I apologise. I should have thought things through more thoroughly, but I didn’t. Not until the ceremony, after Mr Gaines mentioned either of us being coerced into the marriage.’
Confused, she shook her head. ‘We weren’t coerced.’
‘Not by each other, but the idea was formed because we were both worried about what Percy might do if he obtained guardianship.’
She nodded.
‘In a sense, that is coercion, and if Percy can make a claim that that’s the reason we got married, he could petition for our marriage to be dissolved.’
She knew little of the legalities involved. ‘How can we make sure that doesn’t happen?’
‘By making sure everyone believes our marriage was because we...’ He shook his head and then nodded. ‘That we got married because we wanted to wed for ourselves, not for the girls. And most certainly not because Percy and Hazel are married, and I was not. Percy would take that straight to the courts.’
‘How would anyone know that, unless we told them?’
He shrugged. ‘It doesn’t take much to get gossip started, and once ignited, it spreads like wildfire. People soon believe things whether they are true or not. We have to make sure there are no rumours.’
‘How do we do that?’
‘Between us, in private, we will keep the marriage in name only. However, no one but you and I can know that. Around others, we must appear to be a happily married couple. All others. Including here, at the house.’
A chill rippled down her spine and she tightened her hold on the bench. It was hard to believe that he thought someone here would tell Percy anything, but that was clearly what he thought.
‘I know you trust everyone here, and I have no reason not to, either. But if they even accidently made a comment about us having separate bedrooms, it could get back to Percy, and we both know he’ll use anything and everything against me in the fight for guardianship.’
She did know that, but couldn’t get past what he’d said concerning bedrooms.
‘I’m sorry,’ he continued, ‘I know this upsets you, but as my wife, the wife of a Carlisle, you can no longer be Fern and Ivy’s governess. Claire has agreed to take over that role.’
What had she done? Continuing to be Fern and Ivy’s governess was the reason she’d agreed to marry him. She had to point out, ‘Claire has other duties.’
‘She felt that wouldn’t be an issue.’ He laid a hand over one of hers, still clutching the back of the bench seat. ‘You will still be here, be with Fern and Ivy every day. It’s just their dressing, bathing, feeding and other duties that Claire will see to.’
Her heart was pounding, her throat burning. She was devastated, but couldn’t be mad at him, because she did understand that his wife couldn’t be a governess. She hadn’t thought any of this through before she impulsively blurted out that they were getting married. It was not only unlikely that he’d ever marry someone like her, but she was also completely unqualified to be his wife. Others would see that as clearly as she did. She couldn’t let that happen. ‘I never thought about any of this,’ she whispered.
‘I didn’t, either, not completely, and I’m sorry about that. But the deed is done, and now we have to make it work.’ His hand gently caressed the back of hers. ‘Millie, I believe her name is, will move into your room, to be near the girls at night, and will assist with any other general care needs. I will open an account in your name and deposit monies for you to use as needed.’
His hand, the way it was touching hers, was making her skin tingle, her entire arm warming, and that was making it hard to think. ‘What will I do?’
‘You will take over the running of the house,’ he said, ‘and any other duties required of my wife.’
Her head was swirling. She didn’t know how to be anyone’s wife; her training was that of a governess. Her entire life had been dedicated to that, and nothing more. Yet, she knew enough to know what husbands and wives did together, behind closed doors. He couldn’t possibly mean that! She pulled her hand out from beneath his. ‘What other duties?’
‘I can’t say for sure, but I suspect there will be some.’
‘Oh.’ She didn’t know what else to say. What to think. This was all more than she’d bargained for. Her hand was still tingling and she rubbed it with her other one.
‘This won’t be for ever,’ he said. ‘Just until the guardianship is resolved, then we’ll decide on our next steps.’
Her mind was too jumbled to think about next steps, and even if she could, she wouldn’t voice them. She’d learned her lesson.
‘We’ll get through this, Aislinn,’ he said softly. ‘We’re partners.’
She nodded, but wasn’t nearly as convinced as he sounded.
He gestured to the house. ‘Shall we retire for the evening then?’
That is what she needed. To crawl into bed and think this whole thing through. She’d never imagined being in such a predicament. How could she have? It was like a nightmare that kept getting worse, and she couldn’t wake up from it.
Well, not a complete nightmare. He was being very kind and understanding, it was just that none of this was as she’d expected. Then again, she hadn’t known what to expect.
He walked around the bench and stopped, waiting for her.
She turned, took a step, but a heart-stopping thought occurred. ‘If Millie is sleeping in my bed, where am I supposed to sleep?’
The grin that appeared on his face wasn’t his permanent one. It was more like a grimace. ‘In my room. Where else?’