It took a good half hour to ride to the house, and during that time, Luke worried that Aislinn was afraid. Once again, he was grateful that she’d brought Doo with her from England. He and Doo visited every morning, while others in the house were still sleeping, and Doo prepared breakfast that would then be carried out to the bunkhouse.
One thing was clear about his childhood friend—Doo had no intention of ever returning to England.
At the house, Luke found Aislinn and two Army men, with yellow Cavalry chevrons on their blue uniforms, in the parlour. The empty cups and plates showed tea and sweet cakes had been served and consumed. After introductions, she graciously excused herself, and Luke noted his weren’t the only eyes watching the swish of her blue skirts as she left the room.
They could only wish they had what he had. He knew that as the gospel truth.
Both Major Huckabee, a tall, middle-aged man with greying sideburns, and Sergeant Hill, a young, blue-eyed man with orange peach fuzz on his chin, had thanked Aislinn for her hospitality and repeated the same to him.
Luke accepted their praise with pride, then questioned if the men cared to ride out and see the herd.
‘That won’t be necessary,’ Major Huckabee stated. ‘Our enquiries led us to your ranch for quality beef to feed the occupants of the fort. I do apologise. Things were delayed in Washington that affected our deployment. It remains our hope to obtain a contract with the C Bar H. Once the fort is fully reinstated, our order will increase significantly.’
‘Reinstated?’ Luke asked, confused.
‘Yes, sir, in order to assist with the territory becoming a state.’ Major Huckabee pulled an envelope from his pocket. ‘I have the contract here and, upon signature, can provide you with a payment voucher from the government for a dozen head. Eventually, there will be more than five hundred soldiers assigned to the fort. At that point we’ll be buying cattle regularly.’
A dozen? Luke held back his disappointment that selling the entire herd was no longer an option. Not today at least.
He took the contract, which was succinct and to the point, and read it. The amount listed was fair, more than he’d figured. ‘I can have a couple of cowboys drive a dozen head to the fort tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Leaving by daybreak, the cattle will arrive by nightfall.’
‘Thank you, Mr Carlisle,’ Major Huckabee said, his smile as large as his companion’s. ‘We can help with the drive, as well.’
The nodding of the younger sergeant confirmed what Luke had imagined. These men had travelled a long route to get to the fort and were in need of a substantial food source. ‘I’ll get a pen to sign this,’ Luke said. ‘We’ll ride out to the herd and you can pick out the dozen steers. Then you’re welcome to spend the night, eat supper with us.’
The deal was completed that easily, yet Luke felt as if he was being thwarted around every corner, just as he had been in England.
Aislinn had found the Army Major and Sergeant very nice, and the idea that an entire troop of soldiers were only twenty miles away kept her smiling well after they’d left. Luke would never be able to deny that they made living here safer. Their safety was one of his reasons for claiming they had to return to England. That they didn’t belong here.
He didn’t understand that when you love someone, you belong with them, wherever that might be, and he truly belonged here.
Footfalls on the front porch made her smile, for she even knew the sound of his boots, but it also made her frown, because she hadn’t expected him home this soon. She set aside the cloth and tin of beeswax she was using to shine the banister of the stairway, and moved to meet him as he stepped inside the house.
‘Is something amiss?’ she asked.
‘No. There’s a meeting of the Stockgrowers Association in Bozeman this afternoon that I’m going to attend, in order to find a buyer for the herd and the ranch.’
Her heart dropped.
He walked past her. She followed, all the way to their bedroom, where he began to unbutton his shirt. There had been times when she could have told him, before now, but hadn’t, because she was afraid. She’d given him the letter from Mr Watson, but had never told him what she’d done.
‘You’re not going to talk me out of this, Aislinn. It’s too dangerous here. The weather is fine now, but it won’t be for long. The winters are brutal. Cold. Snow. Wind. People freeze to death. Cattle freeze to death. A doctor can’t make it out here for days.’
She wanted to tell him that if a doctor was needed, he’d find a way a way to get one. She had complete belief in his abilities, but remained silent because he was talking again.
‘Think of the things the girls need,’ he said. ‘Schools. Prestigious schools. Social outings. Friends from their same class. Clothes. Shopping. You saw the stores in Bozeman when you arrived. The emporium is nothing like the stores in London.’ He removed his shirt and tossed it over the back of a chair. ‘Fern and Ivy were born privileged and they will live a privileged life. That can’t happen here.’
She picked up the discarded shirt and dropped it in the basket near the door. ‘There is one thing about your reasoning that I don’t understand.’
He opened the closet door. ‘What’s that?’
‘I don’t understand why you would impose a life you clearly disliked upon your nieces. You couldn’t wait to escape it.’
He took out a clean white shirt. ‘It was different for me. I was the third son. There were no expectations that I would one day take over the title, become the head of the family.’
‘There are no such expectations for Fern and Ivy, either. They were born to a duke and duchess, but are now the nieces of a duke. Tell me exactly what that will provide them with?’
‘Privilege. Prestige,’ he said, while putting on the shirt.
She didn’t blink an eye as she stared at him. Waiting for him to say more.
‘The opportunities to marry well.’
‘So, that’s your goal? To have them marry well?’
‘No.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘There are also schools. The best schools.’
‘You already mentioned schools. I don’t even want to think about those days,’ she said. ‘We’ll never see them, except for school breaks, which will be short and far between. You remember that, don’t you? Being a child and separated from your family for months on end.’
‘I remember, but why are you so against it?’
‘I’m not against them having an excellent education. I want them to have that, but I want them to have other things, too. I want them to be prepared in all aspects of life. To be independent, self-assured, and bold enough to know what they want, when they want it. I imagine you do, too.’
He nodded.
‘I would think you’d want them to explore things and places,’ she said, ‘be left afoot a time or two, so they know the importance of staying in the saddle. Learn the importance of respecting people for what they do, who they are, titled or not. To accept responsibility, but to also stay true to themselves. Isn’t that how you’d raise your own children? For you will be the only father they remember. Will ever know.’
He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. ‘Fern and Ivy can learn all that in England.’
‘I’ve no doubt of that.’ She crossed the room and closed the closet door he’d left open. ‘They can learn those things anywhere in the world, because places don’t teach things, people do.’
‘Some places are safer than others.’
She’d been beating around the bush and was getting nowhere, which left nothing but the truth. ‘I did something before I left England that I’m quite ashamed of.’
‘You?’
She wasn’t afraid of his anger, for he had every right to be upset with her. Swallowing, she nodded.
He stepped closer, rubbed her upper arms with both hands. ‘What did you do?’
Her stomach was churning hard. ‘After I discovered the truth from Dr Stockholm about Rowland’s request, I was mad. So very mad that I went to see Percy. He wasn’t home, but Hazel was, and I, well, I told her that she needed to learn how to become a duchess. Then I went to the House of Lords, and waited until Percy came out.’ She had to draw in a breath, hoping to settle her nerves. ‘I met him on the steps and told him that I was done with his wife interfering in our lives, and that he needed to learn to become a duke, or at least a man whose wife didn’t lead him around like he had a ring in his nose.’
Luke let out a laugh.
‘It’s not funny,’ she insisted. It wasn’t at all. By the time she returned home that day, she’d realised she had acted just like Hazel. Had been thinking only of herself. ‘Percy wasn’t alone when I said those things.’
Luke’s eyes grew wide, then he let out an even louder laugh. ‘You told my brother to either grow a brain or a set of—guts, in front of his peers?’
Her face burned, for that was exactly what she’d done. ‘Yes, and I’m very sorry.’
‘I wish I could have seen it.’ He kissed her forehead, hugged her. ‘Don’t worry about Percy. I can handle him.’
‘The two of you were getting along, and I ruined that for you,’ she whispered. ‘I should have gone and apologised the next day, but there was so much to do. Tickets to purchase, packing, meeting with Mr Watson to oversee the London house expenses.’
He hugged her tighter. ‘You didn’t ruin anything.’ Then he stiffened slightly. ‘Did Percy do something? Threaten you?’
‘No, he didn’t say anything. Just stood there. Beet red. I got back in the carriage and went home.’
He took a step back, and the frown on his face made her heart flip.
‘Is that why you came here? Because you’re afraid of Percy?’
‘No, I’d already planned on coming here. I think that’s why I had the courage to say the things I did, because I figured once we got here, we’d be staying.’
He was still frowning. Severely. ‘You already planned on coming here?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
It was time to tell him the entire truth, even though it wasn’t something he’d want to hear. ‘Because, ever since we got married, I wake up at night thinking I must be dreaming, but then I hear you breathing, feel your arms around me, and know I’m not. That this is my life. The life I want for ever.’ She wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. ‘I know you didn’t want to get married, ever, but I swear that I will try to be the best wife possible for you, the best surrogate mother for the girls. I will live anywhere you want.’
He hadn’t moved. Not at all.
‘I thought this was what you really wanted,’ she said. ‘You were so happy when you talked about Montana. I didn’t want you to feel trapped in England. To be miserable. I thought if you came here, you’d be happy. Even before you left, I planned on following you.’ She shook her head. ‘I knew you’d never agree to us coming with you, and I couldn’t risk losing you. I lost my family once before, as a little girl, and I was afraid that might happen again.’
Luke’s heart dropped to his feet thinking of how he’d left her with his demand for a divorce. He’d regret that for ever. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around her. ‘I will never leave you ever again. I promise. I love you.’
She went completely still. ‘You do?’
‘Yes, I do.’
She made a tiny sob sound. ‘I love you, too. So much, But I didn’t—I don’t—expect you to love me in return.’
The rejoicing inside him made him chuckle. ‘You should have, because I do. That’s how it works.’
She leaned back, looked at him with bewilderment in her shimmering brown eyes. ‘Are you sure? Sure that you love me?’
‘Yes, you.’
‘He touched his forehead to hers. ‘I’ve never been more sure of anything, and I plan on spending the rest of my life loving you.’ He lifted his head, kissed her forehead. ‘I was never miserable in London. The very idea that I could ever be miserable with you near is impossible. I’m sorry you thought that.’
‘But the businesses you bought,’ she said, ‘the frustration about a member of the ton not getting their hands dirty.’
‘I admit, I was frustrated, but not with you. Never with you. I was frustrated with how shallow life felt doing nothing but attending parties, balls, and the opera.’
She grimaced. ‘That was excruciating.’
He touched the side of her face. ‘For you, too?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry I put you through that. I just wanted to make the best life for you. I still do.’
She stretched on her toes, kissed his lips softly. ‘You’ve already done that.’
In that moment, he understood that loving someone wasn’t about giving things up for them, it was about sharing. Sharing life. All parts of it. The depths of emotion filling him would be there for a lifetime, of that he had no doubt.
He ran a finger along the side of her face. ‘I’m going to ask you a question, and I know you won’t lie to me. That you’ll never lie to me.’
‘I won’t.’
‘Where do you want to live?’
‘Wherever you are.’
He brushed the hair away from her face, but never took his eyes off hers. ‘I feel the same. I want to live wherever you are, so I’ll ask again, where do you want to live with me? Montana or England?’
She pinched her lips together.
‘Don’t worry about Percy and Hazel,’ he said, still wishing he could have witnessed her putting Percy in his place. ‘This is about us. You and me, and a decision we need to make together. This is our life.’
She let out a tiny sigh. ‘We do have the girls to think about.’
‘Yes, we do, so let me ask this, where do you feel at home?’
She closed her eyes and sighed. ‘You are so stubborn.’
‘I, my dear—’ he kissed her cheek ‘—am merely asking a question. Where do you feel at home? Montana or England?’
She looked at him, for a long quiet moment. ‘In England, though I was your wife, I was easily reminded that I had been a governess. A servant. Whereas, here, I’ve never been anything except your wife. I can’t even begin to explain what that feels like. How different I feel here. How free I feel.’
‘You don’t need to explain it,’ he whispered. ‘I know.’
‘And I know how you felt, wanting a different life.’
He kissed her, then held her close in a long hug, filled with a great sense of contentment. Yet, he knew he would have been just as content if she’d said London. ‘We will visit England, yearly, and when the girls are older, they will have a choice as to where to go to school,’ he said. ‘We will teach them to think for themselves, to follow their dreams, and we will support them in whatever they choose. They may not have been born to us, but they are our children and will be raised as our children.’
She lifted her face, looked up at him with shimmering eyes. ‘Luke Carlisle, you are a wonderful, amazing man, whom I love with all my heart.’ Kissing his chin, she added, ‘I fell in love with you while listening to your letters, but the real you...’ She sighed. ‘Is even more than I ever dreamed.’
He kissed her, a long, slow kiss. ‘Rowland once told me that when I met the right woman, my life would change. That the love I felt for her would consume me.’ He kissed her again. ‘If he were here today, I would tell him that he was right. That I found my haven.’