Try as he might, Luke couldn’t control the reactions inside him as he set eyes on Aislinn. One look had the ability to scramble his thoughts, make him unable to focus on anything but her. He’d thought about waking up next to her several times while completing his errands and couldn’t deny the effects the memory had on his body.
Those same effects were kicking in right now.
The sombre silence that had filled the room at breakfast this morning had nearly been his undoing. He knew they wouldn’t be able to live like that for any length of time. Including Fern and Ivy at meals seemed like an easy solution.
If only he could find other solutions so easily.
Mr Watson had stated that a date had been set for a hearing but didn’t know if there might be any stipulations, nor had he discovered why Percy had petitioned to become Aislinn’s guardian. In fact, he’d claimed that he and Mr Gaines had spent hours last evening, reading though law books for some obscure decree that Percy may have been informed of, only to come up empty-handed. Luke had refrained from sharing his belief that Percy had simply wanted to prevent him from marrying her.
However, the solicitor had provided him with other information and suggestions that he would need to share with her. Things that, like it or not, they needed to do.
‘Lunch will be served shortly,’ she said. ‘Fern and Ivy are excited to join us.’
‘That’s good.’ He unbuttoned his coat, just for something to keep his hands busy. For half the morning he’d questioned why he hadn’t stopped himself from kissing her forehead this morning. The desire had been too strong to ignore and was approaching that point again.
Undoing the last button, he twisted his shoulders to ease the tension in his muscles. The new clothes fit fine, but his old ones, the ones he wore at the ranch, were more comfortable. These ones made him feel like an imposter. For good reason. That’s what he was. But he had no choice except to get used to it, because this was his life now.
‘Did you complete your errands?’ she asked.
She was nervous. The way she laid a hand upon her stomach was a clear sign. He didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable around him. Truth be, he’d like things to be as easily as possible for her and would try his best to make that happen.
Childish chitter-chatter coming from the hall filtered into the room. ‘I will tell you about them after lunch,’ he said.
Fern and Ivy shot through the doorway. The bright blue bows in their hair that matched their frilly dresses bobbed on their heads, and their faces were as bright as sunshine as they ran towards him.
‘We get to eat with you,’ Fern said, skidding to a stop.
‘In the dining room,’ Ivy added, sidling up beside her sister.
‘Just like when we were in the coach, coming to London,’ Fern further explained.
His heart had warmed at the sight of them, and he knelt down to their level. ‘That’s right, and I’m happy about that.’ He touched a cheek on each one of them with a single finger. ‘I like looking at these happy faces while eating.’
They giggled.
‘I have a surprise for you two,’ he said.
‘What is it?’ Fern asked.
‘If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.’ He lifted one with each arm and settled them on his hips while walking towards the doorway. ‘But I will show you after lunch.’
‘Give us a hint,’ Fern said, holding on to his neck.
‘Yes, a hint,’ Ivy said, also holding on to his neck.
‘Well, let’s see,’ he said, as if he had to think about a clue. ‘It’s big, but also little.’
‘That can’t be!’ Fern insisted. ‘Nothing can be big and little!’
‘How big?’ Ivy asked, warily.
He glanced at Aislinn, once again recalling her initial description of the girls, about Ivy being cautious. She hadn’t lied about that.
Pulling up a smile for Ivy, he said, ‘Not too big.’
The pony that would be delivered shortly had been a thought that came to him while thinking about Aislinn and the girls, of things he could do for them to make this time as normal and fun as possible. There was plenty of room in the stable, and the backyard was big enough for a pony to be led around. The one he’d bought was pure white, with blue eyes, and the man, the same one who’d sold him the thoroughbred, guaranteed it was as tame as a dog. In fact, it had been his daughter’s pony, until she’d outgrown it.
Questions, and his vague answers, continued throughout the meal, making it very enjoyable. He was nearly as excited as the girls when it was finally time to see their surprise. At the doorway of the dining room, he handed Gabe his jacket, then rolled up his shirtsleeves while leading everyone through the house and out the back door.
‘Where is it?’ Fern asked, running in front of him.
Ivy grasped a hold of his hand as she asked, ‘How big is it, Uncle Luke?’
Her nervousness melted his heart, and he stopped to pick her up. ‘It’s bigger than you, but smaller than me.’
Her tiny brows were furrowed between her big eyes.
He touched the tip of her nose. ‘You see how big I am?’ He waited for her nod, then continued, ‘Very big, and I’ll always protect you, from things big and small.’
She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. ‘I love you, Uncle Luke.’
He hadn’t said that to anyone in years, but knew exactly what he felt right now. ‘I love you, too, Ivy. Very much.’
His heart did an odd flutter when his gaze caught Aislinn’s. The shimmer in her eyes made his throat go dry. To the point that he had to cough slightly, so he could swallow.
Collecting his wits, he set Ivy back on the ground and directed them all to the stable.
The pony was in a stall that John had prepared for her, as Luke had requested upon his arrival home. Riding equipment had been delivered along with the pony, but Luke just took down the lead rope.
‘She’s so adorable,’ Fern said, petting the side of the pony.
Both girls, along with Aislinn, who was keeping a close eye on them, were in the stall with the horse.
‘Does it have a name?’ Ivy asked, running a hand down the centre of the pony’s face.
‘She does,’ he answered. ‘It’s Half-Pint.’
Fern giggled. ‘That’s a funny name.’
‘I like it,’ Ivy said, wrapping her arms around the pony’s neck. ‘I like you, Half-Pint.’
‘I think Half-Pint likes you, too,’ Luke said. ‘Both of you.’ The pony was soaking up the attention. He pointed out how they needed to keep their feet away from Half-Pint’s hooves and a few other things, then hooked the lead rope around the pony’s neck. ‘Shall we take her into the backyard, so you can ride her?’
Both girls readily agreed, and he looked at Aislinn, remembering her fear of Old Bones.
The smile on her face and the shine in her eyes hit his heart all over again. He knew the appreciation she silently displayed was because he’d made the girls happy. That was the way to her heart. He wasn’t trying to win her heart, but his own felt as if it had been arrested.
He led the pony into the backyard and settled the girls on its back, with Ivy in the front so she would feel more secure. ‘Do you feel comfortable leading Half-Pint?’ he asked Aislinn. ‘She’s gentle, leads well. I’d like to walk beside them, to help them keep their balance.’
‘Yes,’ she replied, taking the rope.
‘Just walk slow,’ he instructed, ‘she’ll follow you.’
Aislinn nodded and began walking at his direction.
Half-Pint was indeed well trained. Her gait was slow and smooth, as if she fully understood how precious a load she carried. He’d examined the pony before purchase, and again in the stable before putting the lead rope on her. She was a stout animal, healthy, and he was more than satisfied with her personality. The perfect first horse.
Fern and Ivy were naturals, if he said so himself, and he could see them riding Half-Pint by themselves in no time. He liked that idea. Everyone should know how to ride a horse, be comfortable around them, for they were an integral part of life. Even here in London.
They remained in the backyard for the better part of an hour, until he said that it was time for Half-Pint to rest.
Claire was waiting for them near the back door of the house, and as she ushered Fern and Ivy inside, he looked at Aislinn. ‘I understand it’s warm out, but we do need to talk.’
She lifted her chin. ‘Wherever you wish is fine by me, but I can assure you that no one will be listening at any door inside the house.’
He had sensed a change in her interactions with the other servants since this morning, and he hoped she was correct, for he had no desire to be concerned about disloyal servants. He gave a single nod and followed her inside the house.
She led the way to the study, where he closed the door and waited until she was seated on the sofa before sitting in an adjacent chair. It was somewhat of a mystery as to how he could feel so comfortable in her presence, while his senses were also so heightened.
He cleared his throat, just for something to do. ‘Mr Watson informed me this morning that the court has set a date for when they’ll make their final decision on the guardianship petition.’
The knuckles on her fingers, clasped tightly in her lap, turned white. ‘When will that be?’
‘Two weeks from tomorrow,’ he replied. ‘Between now and then, Mr Watson suggested that you and I attend the theatre and other such social outings.’
‘The theatre?’ she questioned, almost as if appalled. ‘Why?’
He nearly chuckled, for he too had been appalled when Mr Watson had made the suggestion. Frequenting social venues had never been high on his priority list. In fact, he’d attended very few. Only those his mother had forced him to go to. ‘Because attending such outings are not about the performances or events, it’s about seeing who is there and being seen by others.’ That’s what his mother had told him. The next part was his own thought. ‘It’s what the privileged do, part of the lifestyle.’
‘Mr Watson believes that will help your case?’
‘He believes it will demonstrate that I’m embedding myself, that we are embedding ourselves, into our new life.’
Aislinn pinched her lips together. She fully understood that the upper class found importance in attending events, but Luke didn’t. He was clearly willing to do whatever it took for Fern and Ivy, the fact that he’d married her—a woman well beneath him—had proven that, but he shouldn’t have to change who he was. That defeated the purpose. Rowland wanted Luke to have guardianship over his daughters because he knew Luke would care more about them than anything else.
‘This is our life now,’ he said. ‘It’s not one we would have chosen, given different circumstances, but it is what it is. I have a friend, whom I hadn’t seen in years, Michael Cunningham, the Earl of Chatsworth. I stopped by to see him this morning, and Michael is very much the good chap that I remember. He and his wife, Eugenia, the Countess of Chatsworth, have invited us to attend the theatre with them tomorrow night, and I have accepted the invitation.’
Her heart thudded near the back of her throat, blocking her airway. The theatre? With the Earl and Countess of Chatsworth? How on earth had she ever imagined that she could do this?
Luke leaned to one side and dug into his pant pocket. ‘In light of all that, I purchased this today.’
Curious, she leaned across the table separating them to take the small box that he held out. Lifting the lid revealed a shimmering ring nestled atop a small square of black velvet.
‘Everyone will expect you to have a wedding band,’ he said.
It wasn’t merely a wedding band; it was a jewelled ring. The gold band was wide, with a square-shaped diamond in the centre, a rectangular ruby on one side, and a rectangular emerald on the other. She had never imagined owning jewels of any sort. The ring was beautiful, and clearly expensive. Just holding the box made her nervous.
‘If it doesn’t fit, we can have it resized,’ he said. ‘It fit on my pinkie, so I thought it might be close.’
Her mouth was dry, yet she had to speak. ‘It’s beautiful...’ Nothing more would come out.
‘Try it on,’ he said.
Still nervous, and thinking she should insist such a thing wasn’t necessary, her fingers shook as she picked it up. The sunlight coming in through the window made the entire ring sparkle.
‘Put it on,’ he said. ‘Does it fit?’
Both hands trembled as she slid it on the ring finger of her left hand. ‘Yes, perfectly,’ she replied. ‘But, Luke—’
‘It caught my eye as soon as I walked in the store,’ he said. ‘The ruby is in honour of Fern, the emerald, Ivy, and the diamond, well, that’s for you.’
She glanced up, and though they had been out in the sun for an hour earlier, she wasn’t certain the red tint on his cheeks was from that. He was as nervous as she was, and she couldn’t make him feel bad by rejecting the ring. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘It’s truly beautiful.’
He nodded and glanced around the room, as if not wanting to meet her gaze.
She lowered her eyes to the ring again and couldn’t help but think that if things were different, as he’d said, if by some impossible event they had met and married for love, just how overjoyed she would have been at this moment. It was a silly thought, an impossible dream, but she couldn’t imagine ever meeting another man like him. A man so dedicated to those he loved that he would do anything for them. Give up his own life for them. It would be prudent of her not to create false hope that she would ever be someone he loved. Thoughts like that would do nothing more than cause heartache.
‘There is one more thing we need to discuss,’ he said.
She lifted her head, nodded.
‘When—’ He scratched the side of his neck. ‘When we are in public, we’ll need to, well, hold hands and things like that. Act like we are, uh, in love.’
A fiery zip of something she couldn’t quite explain shot about in her stomach. It was much more forceful than butterflies. Trying to ignore it, she said, ‘All right.’
‘We don’t know who might see us and say something to Percy.’
Not trusting her ability to speak, she nodded.
‘All right, then, that should cover it.’ He stood. ‘I have a few more errands to see to.’
She wondered if that was true, or if he just wanted to be gone, away from her. Acting like a truly married couple couldn’t be any easier for him than it was for her.
‘I’ll be home in time for supper,’ he said.
He was gone almost instantaneously, and she looked down at the ring on her finger. This was all her fault. She’d come up with the whole marriage idea. An idea that had forced him into a life he’d never wanted. Fake or real, it didn’t matter.
Not wanting to face anyone, she left the room and made her way upstairs, to their room. Another thing that was all her fault.
She walked to the door that led to the small personal balcony, opened the glass paned door, and stepped outside. It overlooked the backyard, and she sighed at the wonderful event that had taken place out there just a short time ago.
The pony had been a wonderful surprise. One Fern and Ivy would never forget. Nor she, for whether Luke realised it or not, he’d found something that Ivy fully embraced. From the moment she’d seen Half-Pint, Ivy’s usual wariness had disappeared. She would still be out there, on Half-Pint, if he hadn’t suggested the pony needed a rest.
Aislinn rested both hands on the waist-high railing. That shouldn’t surprise her. He’d done the same thing for her. She kept telling herself that she needed to change, needed to become stronger and more assertive, for the girls. But the truth was, she was doing it for him.
The letters he’d written had been fascinating, exciting, had endeared him to her, but they didn’t compare to being with him in person. He was big, strong, and bold, yet equally gentle, kind, and caring. A living, breathing hero. And having him ask her—her of all people—for help had made her feel like more than just a governess. Or perhaps it had made her want to be more. Not necessarily more than a governess, but more of a person. A bolder, stronger person, like him.
She drew in a deep breath and slowly released it.
Heaven help her, for she didn’t know how, but she would convince the entire world if necessary that they were in love. She would do anything to make sure that he fulfilled Rowland’s wishes.
She had no idea why Percy didn’t want that to happen, other than he and Hazel had taken control over everything and everyone from the moment Rowland had died.
He’d taken his final breaths in the middle of the night, in a room just down the hall from where she stood. Percy had been present, had awoken the entire house and told her to pack, that she and the girls were returning to Havenbrook. Leslie had died two days before, her body had already been sent to Havenbrook, for that was the final resting place for both of them.
Following orders, it had still been dark when she and the girls had left for Havenbrook, and when they arrived, they found some of Percy and Hazel’s servants already in the house. They had cleared away Rowland’s and Leslie’s personal items from their rooms, and replaced them with Percy’s and Hazel’s.
Arriving the following day, and insisting that they were now to be addressed as the Duke and Duchess, Percy and Hazel had made it clear that anyone opposed to the changes they implemented could leave, including her. She’d never have willingly left Fern and Ivy, even though it had been evident that she was disliked.
The back door of the house opened and closed, and her heart somersaulted as, from the balcony, she watched Luke walk towards the stable. She stepped inside so she wouldn’t be noticed if he looked behind him, looked up.
He didn’t, but she stood in the doorway, obscured by the drapes, until he exited the stable on his new thoroughbred, then mounted the animal and rode away.
She pressed a hand over her thudding heart. He was willing to do anything because of his love for Rowland. She knew that, but she also knew that Rowland had loved Luke unconditionally and wouldn’t want him to have to completely change his life.
Somehow, she had to make sure that didn’t happen, because she was the only one who could. There was no one else.
But she wasn’t alone.
After checking her image in the mirror, she left the room. A quick check in the nursery showed it was nap time, and Millie was sitting in a chair with a basket of mending.
Aislinn then made her way to the kitchen.
Claire was in the far corner, washing clothes. Doo was peeling potatoes at the sink, and Mary Ann and Gabe were sitting at the table, drinking tea. They rose and she waved at them to sit, collecting a cup and sitting down to join them at the table.
The silence was thick. It was up to her to break it. ‘I need your help again,’ she said.
Every set of eyes turned her way.
‘Luke and I will be attending the theatre with the Earl and Countess of Chatsworth tomorrow night, and I have no idea what to expect.’
Mary Ann let out a sigh. ‘For a minute there, you had me worried, but this...’ She shook her head. ‘This is nothing to worry about.’
Aislinn couldn’t agree with that.