Another month and a half passed. The dawn of my birthday was crisp and clean with fall frost covering every surface outside of my window. The urge to stay in bed was overwhelming, and I almost fell back asleep before I heard a giggle from the baby monitor.
“Happy Birthday,” I whispered to myself as I stared at the ceiling. The cold floor numbed my feet as I padded to Chase’s room. The stink of a well-soiled diaper greeted me as I opened the door.
“Hi, baby. You couldn’t resist giving mommy a present could you?” I joked as I lifted him from his crib and placed him on the changing table. Once finished, I heard a thump on the wall that let me know Javan had also woken up.
“You can get up, buddy!” I called and was awarded with the thump of little feet hitting the ground and running.
Breakfast was simple and finished quickly. The TV was turned to PBS, and I sat Javan in front of it while I took the carrier to the bathroom so I could shower. I stayed too long in the warm water but decided I was entitled to it. After all, it was my birthday.
A few minutes later, a knock on the door interrupted my makeup routine. I dressed quickly. With Chase in my arms and a quick peek at Javan, gazing intently at Curious George, I went to the door.
“Surprise!”
Chase huffed as I jumped and gripped him tightly in shock before it was quickly replaced with joy.
“Samantha!” I cried and wrapped one arm around my wonderful friend, and then I proceeded to hug all eight of her children waiting on my doorstep.
“Come in! It’s freezing! Do you want some coffee?” I gave her a huge grin.
“Of course! We need coffee if we’re going to eat this!” With a flourish, one of her oldest daughters presented a nine by thirteen pan with a decorated cake.
“Oh, Emily! Did you do this by yourself?” I asked the blonde girl with bashful eyes.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“It’s beautiful! Thank you so much!” I hugged her again and led them all to the kitchen.
“Where’s Javan?” Michael asked.
“He’s watching Curious George.”
“Cool!” The little boy ran into the living room and slid on the carpet, only to stop inches from where Javan sat.
“Mike!” Javan called joyfully.
I smiled as I walked the rest of the way into the kitchen. Samantha was already helping herself to my cupboards and pulling down glasses and plates. I walked in and smiled as I leaned against the wall.
“Need any help?” I offered after a moment.
“Nope, it’s your birthday. It’s against the rules to work on such a special day! You.” She pointed to one of her little girls and smiled at her. “Take Mrs. Wains’ hand and have her sit in that chair over there. And you keep her there. Make sure you tell her about Sassy.” She winked at her little girl, and the beautiful pixy bobbed her head, bouncing her pigtails all over. With a tenacious grip, she took my hand and led me to the chair all the while chattering about Sassy’s kittens.
“Here you go!” A piece of chocolate cake was placed in front of me, and I inhaled deeply the rich scent of buttercream frosting and devil’s food bliss.
“Emily, if you ever open up a bakery, I will be your number one customer.” The words were spoken in reverence as I took a bite. Heavenly.
“I’m glad you like it, Mrs. Wains.” A blush covered her face at my compliment. Samantha beamed with pride at her oldest daughter.
“I don’t want to be the only one eating. Dig in guys!” I called as I raised my fork in the air. The children cheered as they began to hand out cake. As soon as Javan and Michael heard that cake was available, they ran into the kitchen. After a moment, I saw Samantha stand up.
“Okay, ready?” All of the forks were placed down, and her children stood up. Javan glanced around and followed suit.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Mrs. Wains. Happy birthday to yoooooou!” The song was out of tune and sung at different tempos, but I found it as sweet as an angelic choir.
“Thank you.” I spoke with unshed tears brimming in my eyes. The reason for my tears was not for what others would have assumed. I cried because this was the best birthday I’d had in years. Because my husband wasn’t around.
After an hour or so of light conversation and continued stories about Sassy and her kittens, all told from different points of view, Samantha dismissed her children so that she could speak with me privately. With the children playing in the living room, she pulled me aside into the kitchen once again.
“Okay, I’m going to keep this short and sweet. It’s your birthday, and we’re not going to ruin it by speaking about unpleasant things. I just want to know what you have planned for the rest of the day.”
I was expecting her to ask about Jack. Perhaps to see if I had heard from him. Which, of course, I hadn’t, except for a mailed check every two weeks that was barely enough to cover the simplest groceries and a quarter tank of gas.
“Um, nothing, oh, except my parents are going to take me out to dinner tonight.”
“Okay, good! I just didn’t want you alone on your birthday, sweetie.” She wrapped me in a hug and then grasped my hands. “Heavenly Father, bless my friend today on her birthday. Give her heavenly presents that overwhelm her and open her eyes to see your love for her in the midst of her difficult circumstance. Amen.”
“Amen.” I whispered, thankful for someone to pray for something I had felt too selfish to pray for myself.
The kids and Samantha stayed till Javan’s afternoon nap, and I thanked them profusely for sharing my birthday with me. As I got ready to leave for the restaurant, I felt peace consume my heart. Tomorrow might be difficult, I knew it would be, but today I was okay. I’d dwell on that. One day at a time.
****
The morning light was streaming through my window as I rolled over in bed the next day. A smile lifted my lips as I remembered the day before and the blessings of family and friends.
“Dreaming of me?” Jack’s voice penetrated my revelry. I froze. Was I awake? A cold chill ran down my spine, and I turned over looking up in my husband’s face.
“Hi.” My mind spun with questions as I stared at his weary features. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. The hope that it was due to remorse over his actions was like adrenaline in my blood, and my heart pounded.
“You’re beautiful when you sleep.” My eyes widened at his words, and I wracked my brain for the last time he had called me beautiful. It had to have been more than two years.
“Thank you.” My voice was husky from sleep, and I watched his eyes darken. He moved slowly and covered my lips with own in an immediately demanding kiss. I didn’t move. Half of me wanted to kiss him back and show him exactly how much I missed him; the other half wondered if that was wise since I hadn’t heard from him in more than a month. What should I do? He pushed me aside and crawled in bed with me, demanding more than a kiss and, against my better judgment I allowed whatever he wanted to take. After all, he was my husband, but a small voice in the back of my heart whispered that I was being fooled, again.
The day passed with dreamlike quality as Jack stayed for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He even tucked in the kids at bedtime, and I felt my eyes tear up as I watched Javan hug his daddy’s neck with all the strength of his two-year-old arms.
Jack walked into the kitchen and grabbed his coat. My heart clenched. Was he leaving? Already?
“Abby? I’m going to go. Thanks for today, for everything.” His eyes traveled up my body and met my eyes before he nodded and walked to the door. “Oh, and happy birthday.”
The door closing shook me from my stupor of disbelief. All at once I felt dirty, used, and cheap. How could I? How could he? I stumbled to the chair and sat down, blind to anything but the mental pictures parading through my mind of the past day. Did I do something wrong? I hated that it was one of my first thoughts! No. I wanted to shake myself. It wasn’t me, I didn’t do anything. I’m not the one who ran away, who came home for a day to play house and then leave without as much as an “I love you,” or “I miss you”, even a “Thanks for the great dinner, honey!” The chair had numbed my bum before I decided to get up and get ready for bed. As I went into the bedroom, I glared at the bed and through furious tears took the sheets off and threw them in the washer. I grabbed my pillow and went into the living room to sleep. The last thought I had was that he had said happy birthday, a day late.