“What do you want?” Bean said to her mother.
“Excuse me?” said her mother. That meant that Bean had been rude and she’d better shape up quick.
“Sorry. What?”
“Well!” Her mother smiled brightly. “Today we’re going to try a special experiment, and I want you to be on your best behavior.”
Best behavior? It was Saturday! Bean looked carefully at her mother. She was wearing lipstick. “Where are you going?” Bean asked.
“Daddy and I are going to a play—”
“Can I come?” Bean always asked that, even if she didn’t really want to go.
“No. It’s for grown-ups,” said her mom.
“Is Leona babysitting?” Bean liked Leona. She had long black hair, and she could draw perfect horses.
“No.” Bean’s mom sighed. “Leona has poison oak. That’s the reason for the special experiment.”
Bean wasn’t liking the sound of this. Grownups used the word special when they really meant weird.
“Did you know that I was eleven years old when I started babysitting?” her mom asked.
“No.” Uh-oh. Was she about to get a new babysitter?
“Well, I was,” her mother went on. “And now that Nancy’s eleven, we’ve decided to let her take care of you for the afternoon.”
“What?!” yelped Bean. Nancy was her new babysitter?
“And you’ll behave just like you’d behave for any other babysitter,” said her father, popping into the room. His hair was wet.
“Which means nicely,” said her mother. “Calmly.”
“You’re going to let Nancy babysit me?” yelled Bean. “She’ll kill me!”
“She won’t kill you.”
“She’ll tie me up and stuff me in the attic!” hollered Bean.
“She’s not going to tie you up and stuff you in the attic,” said her father.
“We don’t have an attic,” said her mother. “We have a crawl space.”
“She won’t give me anything to eat! I’ll starve!” Bean couldn’t stop yelling.
“We’re only going to be gone a few hours. We’ll be home for dinner. You won’t starve,” said her father.
Bean looked from her mom to her dad. They looked back at her. They had already decided, and they weren’t going to change their minds. They were really going to leave her with Nancy. Bean had no choice. “Can I go back to Sophie’s, at least?” she asked.
“No,” said her mom. “That’s the other thing, honey. We want you to stay at home this afternoon. Inside the house, where Nancy can keep an eye on you. Just to be on the safe side.”
This was getting worse and worse. Bean pressed her hands against her cheeks and rolled her eyes back in her head. She opened her mouth as wide as it would go.
“Bean! Stop that!” said her mother.
Bean stopped it. “Mom,” she said, trying to sound calm and nice. “Do you realize that we built a volcano in Sophie W.’s yard? Do you realize that everybody in the whole entire world is down there except me? And it’s erupting? And it was my idea?”
“You can call Ivy and ask her to come over if you want,” said her mother.
“No, I can’t, because she’s playing at Sophie’s,” said Bean grumpily. “Along with everybody else in the whole entire world.”
“I’m sorry, honey. It’s just for one afternoon.” Her mother felt bad; Bean could tell.
Her dad didn’t. “You’ll live,” he said.
Bean collapsed onto the rug. “I’m doomed,” she moaned. “I’m double-doomed!”
“Hey, Beanie!” said Nancy, bouncing into the living room. “Did you hear the news? We’re going to have a great time! I’ll even play crazy eights if you want.”
Bean looked up at Nancy with narrow eyes. She was faking. The minute their parents left, Nancy was going to start being the meanest babysitter in the world.
“Okay!” said her dad, slapping his hands together. “Great! Crazy eights! Let’s get going, Char! Can’t be late!”
Her mom bent down and patted Bean’s cheek. “We’ll be back in no time, sweetie.”
Bean closed her eyes. She hoped she looked like a poor little thing.
“Take good care of your little sister, Nancy,” said her mom.
“No worries,” Nancy sang. “Have a great time!”
There was the sound of her mother putting on a sweater.
There was the sound of the door closing.
They were gone.
Triple-doomed, thought Bean.
Bean opened her eyes. Nancy was standing in the doorway. She had her hair up in a bouncy ponytail. She was smiling with lots of teeth, like a camp counselor. “Do you want to play cards?” she said in a peppy voice.
“No,” said Bean. “Why are you so happy?”
Nancy’s smile got even bigger. “Because I’m getting twenty dollars for this.”
