‘There is one condition,’ said Frances.
‘Oh?’ asked Charles Paris, feigning both ignorance and innocence.
‘You’ll have to give up drinking.’
‘Ah.’ He had known it would be that. In Frances’s view, it was his drinking that had broken up their marriage. Charles saw things slightly differently. He thought the stresses of his chosen profession, the long separations inevitable in an actor’s life, bore at least as much responsibility as alcohol. The fact that the long separations had made him particularly susceptible to the charms of young actresses hadn’t helped either.
But he wasn’t about to offer up that extenuation. He had been over the same ground too often with Frances, and he had not in the past found it fruitful territory. For a start, raising the subject was an unnecessary reminder of his infidelities. And discussions on such matters tended to end up with her asserting that drink had always contributed to the erosion of his willpower, which allowed him to succumb to the blandishments of other women. Marital arguments, he knew, were always circular rather than linear.
And in this particular argument, he was aware how high the stakes were. His wife had offered him a lifeline. It would be folly not to take hold of it.
Although Charles and Frances had never divorced, it had been a long time since they had lived together as man and wife. He had ceased to be a permanent resident in the family home when their daughter Juliet had been comparatively young. There had been rapprochements and reconciliations, but none had lasted more than a few weeks. And now Frances was offering the possibility of their resuming cohabitation.
It was Charles’s view that they had never stopped loving each other. This was another aspect of their relationship which his wife might have seen slightly differently. She had a more practical perception of love than he did. For him it was just a warm emotional feeling; for her it involved certain duties and responsibilities.
‘Suppose,’ he suggested, ‘I were to cut down on my drinking …?’
His tone was tentative, and Frances’s reaction demonstrated that it had every right to be tentative. ‘You’ve tried that many times, and it’s never worked. You know as well as I do that you’re incapable of saying, “Just the one” and meaning it. Or perhaps you do mean it when you say the words, but the minute you’re offered a second drink, all that resolution melts away. You don’t have the self-control to cut down.’
‘Oh,’ he said facetiously, ‘are you saying I should be standing up in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and announcing: “I’m Charles and I’m an alcoholic”?’
Frances looked straight at him. Unavoidable eye contact.
‘Yes,’ she said.
They had had conversations on this subject, many times, but Frances had never before been so direct. She had blamed many of his shortcomings as a husband on his drinking, without actually branding him an alcoholic. To hear that that was what she really thought came as quite a shock.
Charles’s own view was that, yes, he did like a drink, and he often drank more than he should. Certainly more than was recommended by the mealy-mouthed government advisors on such matters. But he was never out of control.
Alcoholics, on the other hand, were people who lost control, who lost jobs, who lost families, who ended up in the gutter. He’d never been that bad.
But, even if Frances had slightly overstated the case, he still had to take what she said seriously. Their marriage was at a pivotal stage. She was talking of retiring from being headmistress of a girls’ school, and had received a windfall of more money than she was expecting from her mother’s will. This encouraged the idea of her moving out of her relatively small flat in Finchley into a larger one. During the summer holidays, she began looking for something suitable. She’d seen a property she liked in Highgate, and had started the tortuous process, more complicated in England than in any other country in the world, of house purchase.
This had coincided with the rapprochement between Frances and her husband. They’d started to see more of each other on a regular basis. Some nights Charles had not returned to his studio flat in Hereford Road. They had even, on a few occasions, shared a bed, and indulged in the leisurely delights of geriatric sex.
Charles would never have dared to raise the subject himself, but to his surprise Frances, in a languorous post-coital moment, had raised the possibility of their cohabiting in the new flat. New flat, new start. As she tactlessly reminded him, neither of them was getting any younger. She would soon be retired and he … well …
It is always difficult to define the moment when an actor retires. In a profession of such uncertainty, every job one takes could be the last. Telephone silence from one’s agent is not unusual, particularly if one’s agent is named Maurice Skellern. Charles had become inured, over the years, to months without communication from Maurice. And to hearing, when his agent finally did ring, about the wonderfully lucrative deal he’d just negotiated for one of his more eminent clients. Charles kept saying he should break up with Maurice and get a more dynamic agent, but, as with many things in his life, he never got round to doing anything about it.
Some actors do make public announcements of their retirement from ‘the business’ but, sadly, unless they’re very big names, it is rare that anyone notices. Anyway, unless suffering total medical breakdown, hope still springs eternal in the thespian breast. Even an actor on his deathbed does not discount the possibility of a call from the National Theatre, asking him to give his Lear. And if such a call were to come, the invalid would immediately leap up and start learning the lines. What is known by actors as ‘Doctor Theatre’ has achieved many Lazarus-like risings from the dead.
Charles Paris didn’t plan to retire. He hoped the ending of his life as an actor would be coterminous with his death. But he knew he had little control over either eventuality.
Meanwhile, as he had done for most of his career, he spent a great deal more time out of work than in. But, though he would never admit it to a soul, he still nursed a secret ambition that one day the Really Big Break would come. He was, after all, only in his late fifties. Show business provided many examples of people whose careers had gone stratospheric at considerably greater ages.
Anyway, at the time that Frances was going through the horrendous process of house-hunting, Charles Paris actually had some work. In the West End, no less. With a contract that guaranteed an income for the next four months. The four-week rehearsal period was due to start in late August, and the play’s last night would be at the end of November. That kind of security was almost unprecedented in his career.
He remembered the call he’d received from Maurice Skellern which first mentioned the job.
‘All right, who is it?’ Charles had asked, the moment the caller identified himself.
‘What do you mean – “Who is it?” It’s Maurice. Your agent. You know it’s me.’
‘No, I meant which of your other clients is it, whose wonderful new job you want to crow to me about?’
‘Now, Charles, that’s very unfair.’ The voice was aggrieved and reproachful. ‘Here I am, working away tirelessly on your behalf, and what thanks do I get?’
‘Maurice, you haven’t rung me for more than four months.’
‘That doesn’t mean I haven’t been working for you. Some agents, I know, are sprinters. But you have to think of me more as a marathon man. I deal in long-term strategy for my clients. I’m not in the business for the quick bucks.’
‘I wouldn’t mind a few quick bucks every now and then,’ said Charles wistfully. ‘Or even some slow ones. Bucks of any kind’d do.’
‘Don’t come the “hearts and flowers” routine with me,’ Maurice snapped. ‘You know it’s never going to work. I think you’re very ungrateful, given the way I’m continually putting myself on the line for you.’
‘And which particular line is it you put yourself on for me?’
‘Charles, you’re being cynical and unhelpful. I’ve half a mind to ring off and not tell you about the wonderful job I’ve engineered for you.’
‘For me? Sorry, could you repeat that? I thought I heard you say you had engineered a job for me.’
‘That’s exactly what I said, Charles. And I think it shows that my “softly, softly” approach is paying off. I know there are agents who keep on putting their clients up for every job that comes along—’
‘Being put up for the occasional one wouldn’t hurt.’
‘I’m not listening to you, Charles,’ Maurice continued imperturbably. ‘I will continue saying what I was saying. I believe in ignoring all casting opportunities which are not suitable for my clients. But when the right part comes up … I strike like a cobra!’
Charles didn’t let himself get sidetracked by the incongruous image of the Savile Row-suited Maurice Skellern striking like a cobra. ‘Are you saying the right part for me has come up?’
‘I most certainly am. It could have been written for you.’
Charles Paris’s mind instantly filled with thoughts of Hamlet, Henry V, and ‘the complex central character in a new play by one of our brightest new theatrical talents’, as he asked, ‘What is the part?’
‘It’s a monk.’
‘A monk?’ This was not initially promising. Charles recognized that there were many parts which might reflect aspects of his own character, but monks weren’t on the list. On the other hand, there were monks who’d done more with their lives than go to endless repetitive services and illuminate manuscripts. Rasputin, for example. He was a monk who did quite a lot more with his life. He had a lot of sex, for a start. Yes, Charles Paris could see himself taking the leading role in a ground-breaking new work about the life of Rasputin.
‘What’s the play?’ he asked.
‘New one.’ Promising. ‘Called The Habit of Faith. Written by someone called Seamus Milligan.’
‘Name doesn’t mean anything to me.’
‘Nor to me. Apparently, he’s been around for a long time, though. But the exciting thing about the whole project …’
While Maurice theatrically held the pause, Charles conjectured what was about to come. Obviously, confirmation that he was being asked to interview for the leading role.
‘… is,’ Maurice continued, ‘that the leading role is being played by Justin Grover.’
‘Ah.’
Charles knew the name. Almost everyone in the country, if not in the entire world, knew the name.
The two had long ago played Rosencrantz and Guildenstern in a production of Hamlet at the Imperial Theatre, Bridport. (‘In many productions of the play it is hard to tell the two characters apart. That wasn’t a problem last night. Justin Grover’s acting was so subtle as to be virtually invisible, whereas Charles Paris overacted shamelessly.’ Bridport Herald.)
The two were not natural soulmates, but had rubbed along all right, as most people do in theatrical companies. The job is not forever, and backstage harmony is preferable to open conflict.
Charles’s recollections of the production were now a bit hazy. He remembered there had been a very pretty young girl playing Ophelia. He – and most of the rest of the company – fancied her rotten. What was her name? Oh God, he really was finding it ever harder to remember names. Wasn’t that an early sign of Alzheimer’s, he thought gloomily. Anyway, he knew he hadn’t made any moves on the young Ophelia. Chiefly because he was involved in a rather steamy and short-lived affair with Gertrude. Oh no, he couldn’t remember her name either.
The Gertrude was married, so any action between them tended to happen inside the Imperial Theatre. They got to know the structure of Shakespeare’s play very well, and took advantage of the times when neither Gertrude nor Rosencrantz (or was it Guildenstern?) were required on stage.
As a result, Charles spent less time than he might have done in the dressing room he shared with Justin Grover. Which was perhaps a blessing, because there were one or two little things about his fellow actor that annoyed Charles. And a shared dressing room is the kind of crucible in which little niggles can, given enough time, develop into extreme annoyances.
Charles was by nature a tolerant soul. He knew that everyone found their own way of dealing with the nervous challenge of going onstage every night. But he did draw the line at Buddhist chanting.
He wouldn’t have minded if he thought Justin Grover was getting a positive benefit from his pre-show routine. Or if he thought his fellow actor’s Buddhist beliefs were more than ankle-deep. But he couldn’t help feeling that the whole thing was just a fad, another means by which Justin Grover could draw attention to himself. In spite of spending his entire life working in the theatre, Charles Paris still had a very English, visceral dislike of anything that came under the heading of ‘showing off’.
Also, he wasn’t convinced that Justin was that good an actor. Far too technical for Charles’s taste. Every move, every intonation, every hand gesture was practised in private until it met its executor’s satisfaction. Justin Grover was always acting in his own play, which was slightly different from the one that the rest of the company were in. This approach was not calculated to make him popular in a theatrical ensemble.
But, of course, once he became famous, once he was playing leading parts, it worked wonderfully for him. Rather than him trying to fit in with the rest of the cast, the whole production would be constructed around his studied mannerisms.
So how was it that Justin Grover began to get leading parts? It was a conundrum over which Charles had frequently puzzled, together with the automatically accompanying question: And how was it that Charles Paris didn’t begin to get leading parts?
He knew that luck played a huge part in an actor’s success, but luck alone could not explain the scale of Justin Grover’s domination of the theatrical world.
Success in America had been the key. Justin had the kind of agent – as unlike Maurice Skellern as it was possible to be – whose ambitions for his clients spanned the Atlantic. He had engineered some small parts in US miniseries for Justin. The small parts led to bigger parts, and the raising of his international profile had led to his being more valued in the UK. As a recognizable face from American imports, he began to get bigger parts on British television. As a recognizable face from British television, offers started to come in for bigger stage parts. Since most British theatre-goers spent most of their time sitting in front of televisions, the name on a theatre poster of someone from Coronation Street or EastEnders stood a better chance of bringing in the punters. This was something of which producers of touring theatre were well aware, and Justin Grover spent a couple of years going round the country in quite juicy and lucrative parts, raising his face recognition in venues as far apart as Weston-Super-Mare and Milton Keynes.
But again, it was America which raised him from that level to West End stardom. Vandals and Visigoths was not the first computer game that Hollywood’s poverty of imagination had turned into a feature film, but it was one of the few which really caught on with the cinema-going public. In the first movie there was some vague fidelity to historical facts about the Germanic tribes who hastened the fall of the Roman Empire, but even in that one there were sorcerers, shape-shifters and dragons, as well as the requisite bloodshed and nudity.
For the second and subsequent films in the franchise, in the fine tradition of Hollywood, historical accuracy was thrown out of the window. The influence of magic, in the post-Harry Potter boom, intensified. The incidence of bloodshed and nudity increased. Every episode saw more of the original characters killed off.
And greater amounts of the screen-time were filled with computer-generated monsters. Of these, by far the most popular was the Skelegator. As its name implied, this was a kind of skeletal alligator, coloured, for no particular reason, a luminescent green. But the creature had skills not possessed by your standard alligator. Though its main means of destruction remained its rows of razor-sharp teeth, a Skelegator had the ability to stand on its back legs and wield a variety of swords, daggers, maces and axes in its prehensile hands. Merchandising of Skelegators really caught on. Few households with children in them lacked a set of luminescent green figurines. Mugs, toothbrushes, school bags, pyjamas and duvet covers all featured the odious reptiles. And no children’s fancy-dress party went by without the appearance of at least two Skelegators.
As the movie franchise developed, the number of Skelegators – and their role in the proceedings – increased. Soon they had a leader, double the size of his acolytes, called Spurg. He represented pure evil, and his mission in life was to destroy as many Vandals and Visigoths as he could, in as bloody a way as possible.
But, riding above all the carnage, impervious to the surrounding slaughter, equal to any dastardly challenge that Spurg might throw at him, rose the figure of the Visigoth leader, Sigismund the Strong. And the actor who played that part was called Justin Grover.
From the moment he landed the role, his international profile just grew and grew. The success of the movies fed the sales of the original Vandals and Visigoths computer game. The sales of the computer game sent more people all over the world scurrying to the cinemas or downloading the movies on to whatever was the latest technology.
Justin Grover had ceased to be an actor; he had become a brand. The image of Sigismund the Strong’s head in its horned helmet (totally wrong period for either a Visigoth or a Vandal) became almost as recognizable as that of Sherlock Holmes, Mickey Mouse or Elvis Presley. Figurines of Sigismund the Strong outsold even those of Spurg the Skelegator.
The result was that there was no media outlet where Justin Grover was not visible. Charles Paris got sick of reading articles where the former Guildenstern pontificated about how seriously he took his art as an actor, what lengths he went to in order to inhabit the persona of Sigismund the Strong. And how his real love would always be for the theatre.
Which, Charles reckoned, if you were making squillions of pounds from your screen career, was an easy thing to say.
He wondered if, on the sets of the Vandals and Visigoths films, no action could take place until their star had finished his Buddhist chanting.
Justin Grover had been awarded an OBE ‘for services to the theatre’, and in showbiz circles it was reckoned to be only a matter of time before the knighthood came along.
As a result of this worldwide fame, of course, he now had carte blanche to do whatever theatre he chose to. His name would put bums on seats, and no theatre producer was too worried that many of those bums would be dressed up as Vandals, Visigoths or Skelegators, who might be disappointed if he didn’t wear his horned helmet as Hamlet.
So, whenever a gap in the Vandals and Visigoths shooting schedule allowed, Justin Grover would do a short run in a West End theatre, taking the lead role in whatever play he fancied.
Which was how it came about that he was doing The Habit of Faith.
‘What?’ Charles asked Maurice Skellern on the phone when the name of the play was first mentioned. ‘And you’ve arranged for me to be interviewed for a part in it?’
‘In a manner of speaking, yes.’
Charles had heard too many of his agent’s ‘manners of speaking’ not to be suspicious. ‘What exactly do you mean?’
‘I had a call from the producer’s office checking your availability for the run.’
‘And is that why you’re ringing me now? To ask if I’m available.’
‘No, of course not, Charles.’ Maurice chuckled at the idea. ‘I said you were. You’re always available.’
Charles decided not to contest the insult. ‘So, are you ringing to let me know when they want to do an interview?’
‘No, there’s no interview involved. They’re offering you the part. West End. Three months guaranteed.’
‘They’re offering me the part?’ Charles echoed, dumbstruck.
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Apparently, Justin Grover remembered working with you in the past and thought he might do you a good turn.’
Charles’s reaction was divided into two parts. Half of it was: ‘Patronizing bugger! If he thinks I’m going to accept charity from him …’ The other half was: ‘On the other hand, three months guaranteed on West End money …’
He didn’t vocalize either to Maurice. Instead, he said coolly, ‘Well, get them to send me a script—’
‘Oh, we don’t need to bother with that. I’ve said you’ll do it.’
‘What! Maurice, as my agent, it is your job to—’
‘Well, you will do it, won’t you?’
There was a silence before Charles conceded, ‘Probably, yes.’
‘See, I knew you would. Why bother farting around with sending scripts, eh?’
Charles Paris’s next words were every actor’s instinctive question. ‘What’s the money?’
Maurice told him. It sounded a gratifyingly large amount, but Charles still said, ‘Have you tried getting them up a bit?’
‘It’s good money, Charles. And we don’t want to make waves. Don’t want the producers changing their minds, do we?’
‘Well,’ said Charles, ‘give me overnight to think about it.’
‘No time for that. I’ve already said you’ll accept.’
‘But, Maurice—’
‘Come on, this is the best offer you’ve had for a long time, Charles.’
‘Maybe …’
‘The only offer you’ve had for a long time.’
‘All right. There’s no need to rub it in.’
There was a silence before Maurice asked, ‘Well, aren’t you going to say something?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like “thank you”.’
‘Maurice, can I get this right?’
‘Get what right?’
‘Justin Grover decided he wanted me to play a part in The Habit of Faith …?’
‘Ye-es,’ the agent conceded cautiously.
‘He told the producers that, and asked them to offer me the part …?’
‘Right …’
‘And they then rang you and offered it?’
‘OK …’
‘And you’re asking me to say, “thank you”?’
‘Of course. It’s only polite.’
‘But can you tell me what I’m meant to be thanking you for? What contribution did you actually make to my getting this part in The Habit of Faith?’
‘I was at the end of the phone when they called about it,’ said an aggrieved Maurice Skellern.