Chapter 31

For two days I went along with it all. In this dizzying game of make-believe, the lodge was simply a lodge, Uncle Cy stored only canned goods in the cellar, the train from Cincinnati carried no surprises, the gas station sold only gas, and the car wash was clean as a whistle. Any trouble in Mercy, Ohio, was caused solely by wayward chickens and gophers that carried the remains of our ancestors through the streets of the town. Other than that, all was right with our world.

Neither did I have a broken heart, as no one—not Mother, not Daddy, not even Annie—knew about what had happened between me and Link.

For those first two days, while we waited for poor Uncle Cy to bring his dead wife home, we were a family enjoying a holiday. We cooled ourselves in the river. We picnicked on the island with Uncle Luther and the cousins. We played croquet with Cassandra’s girls, took them rowing in the boats and drove to the ice cream parlor in town to indulge in hot fudge sundaes.

At night, after the girls were asleep, Cassandra hurried across the hall to my room and, sitting cross-legged on the bed, acted as though we were boarding-school roommates chatting about our lives. She untangled my long braid and brushed out my hair. She suggested I might want to cut it on my eighteenth birthday, as a bob with a permanent wave would make me look more grown-up. She asked if she could paint my face with rouge and lipstick, and so I let her. She turned her head this way and that and stuck out a pouty lower lip as she studied her artwork.

“You’ve become quite pretty, you know, Eve,” she said admiringly.

“I have?” I held the hand mirror in front of my face and thought how strange I looked with the added color.

“Of course, silly,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Don’t you know that?”

When she idly asked me about going to school at Mercy High, I told her I was enrolled—which I was—and I pretended as though I would be starting there in just another month. We talked about the lodge as though it was my home. We talked about the town as though I belonged there. We talked about my future in Mercy as though I had one.

At times it was a pleasant place to be, this nest of lies. For certain stretches—sometimes minutes, often hours—I could pretend it was all real. Other times, I was amazed at how different the truth of our existence was from the staged scenery we wandered through. I was always mindful that Uncle Cy wasn’t the only lawbreaker in the family: Daddy and I were too. Simply because we knew. Jones Five and Ten hung heavy over my head.

Finally, on Monday night, a break in the charade came when Daddy called us all to the dining room after Effie and Grace had been put to bed. The kitchen was closed till morning and the lighting in the dining room was dimmed, though the tireless ceiling fans whirled faithfully overhead. The numerous windows were thrown open against the heat, and all the night sounds drifted in—the chorus of crickets and tree frogs, the creaking of rocking chairs, and the soft murmur of voices as guests settled on the porch to enjoy the evening.

We gathered over glasses of iced tea, and from where I sat I could see Thomas leaning idly on the front desk, waiting for the phone to ring or for a guest to stop by with some request or other. The tables around us were empty, but Daddy spoke in low tones anyway, as though he feared being overheard.

“I’ve got something I’d like to talk with all of you about,” he began. He had both hands wrapped around his sweaty glass of tea.

“What is it, Daddy?” Cassandra asked. “Is something wrong?”

Daddy shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong. I’ve just been thinking, is all.”

“About what?” Mother asked. She cast Daddy a worried glance.

Daddy sniffed and cleared his throat. My heart thumped in my chest. I knew what was coming. After what seemed an interminable amount of time, Daddy said, “I believe we made a mistake, coming here.”

“What?” Mother cried. “A mistake? What do you mean, Drew?”

She looked at me. I looked away, down at the table.

Daddy said, “You know I’ve never belonged here, Rose. That’s why I left all those years ago. When Cy invited us down, I felt compelled to give this place another chance, especially since I needed a job, but I’ve decided coming here was wrong. We don’t belong in Ohio. We belong in St. Paul. That’s our home and I think we ought to go back.”

“But, Daddy,” Cassandra exclaimed, “where will you live? What will you do?”

“I haven’t quite figured all that out yet, darling,” Daddy confessed. “I was hoping maybe you and Warren might have some ideas, since you’re still there.”

Warren fidgeted in his chair, took a long sip of iced tea. Then he said, “Well, Drew, we have an extra room at our place. You all could stay with us for a time, till you get yourselves settled.”

Cassandra’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened a notch, but she said nothing.

“That’d be more than kind of you, Warren—”

“But, Drew,” Mother interrupted, “I’m not sure we should impose.”

“Oh, no imposition, Rose,” Warren rushed to assure her. “After all, you’re family. We maybe should have made the offer before you came all the way down here, but we thought your minds were made up.”

Daddy nodded. “My mind was made up, but now I’ve changed it.”

“But that’s what I don’t understand, Drew,” Mother said. “What changed it? I know we were both hesitant at first, but everything seemed to be going along so well for us here.”

“Rose, there are some things I don’t expect you to understand. One of them is how a man feels about being the man of the house and providing for his family. I want to make us independent again. Sure, we’ll be beholden to Warren and Cassandra for a time, but eventually we’ll have our own place again. I promise you that.”

A leaden silence followed Daddy’s announcement. While I waited for someone to speak, I happened to look at Thomas, who was looking at us. Though he couldn’t possibly hear what we were saying, I had the feeling he knew exactly what we were discussing. He impatiently tapped at the front desk with the eraser end of a pencil, as though he wanted us to hurry up and come to a consensus about leaving. I was sure he was beating out the minutes until he could be rid of us.

Mother broke the silence. “Well, I don’t know, Drew,” she said. “I mean, you’ve caught me off guard. I had no idea you were thinking about going back to St. Paul. I don’t know if we should. I don’t know if it’s right for Eve. I simply don’t know. . . .” Her words trailed off.

Warren said, “Listen, Drew, I’ll ask my father if there’s anything you can do at the company. I should think there must be something.”

“I’d be grateful to you, Warren. I’ll do anything, anything at all, so long as I can win my independence back.”

Warren nodded. “I’ll telephone Dad tonight. We’ll get this thing settled as soon as we can.”

Cassandra flopped back in her chair, limp as a rag doll. “Well, I just can’t believe it,” she said. “You’re all settled in here. You’ve got jobs here. Now you want to uproot yourselves again and go back up to where you have nothing?”

“We’ve got plenty there, darling,” Daddy said. “We’ve got you and the kids, for one thing. We stay down here, we won’t get to see our grandkids grow up.”

“Yeah, but St. Paul? What’s St. Paul compared to this place? I mean, the island is such a great place to live.”

“It’s a nice place to visit,” Daddy said. “But like I say, St. Paul is our home. That’s where we belong.”

Mother put a hand on Cassandra’s shoulder. “Listen, honey, I can understand if you don’t want us staying with you. Maybe we can—”

“No, no, no, Mother. It isn’t that. It’s just . . .” She sighed and looked around the table. She offered us all a tentative smile. “I guess I’m just surprised, is all.”

Mother frowned at Daddy. “So am I. Why didn’t you talk to me about this before, Drew?”

“Honey, I don’t know. I guess it’s really only been in the last few days that I’ve known what I want to do. It kind of hit me all of a sudden that leaving—going back home—is what’s best for the family.”

Mother opened her mouth, but before she could speak Warren jumped to Daddy’s defense. “I understand how you feel, Drew.” He patted Cassandra’s hand as he added, “It’s just something you ladies can’t appreciate, this burden of trying to do what’s best for the family.”

I couldn’t help it. I snorted out a chuckle at that, knowing full well the weight of Daddy’s burden. Just as quickly I tried to look somber, as though contemplating our move.

Still, Mother turned stern eyes in my direction. “What’s so funny, Eve?” she asked.

I feigned innocence. “Nothing’s funny.”

“I thought you laughed.”

“Me? No, just clearing my throat.”

“Well, what do you have to say about leaving here?”

I sat up primly. “I’m willing to do whatever Daddy thinks is best.”

“It’s settled then,” Daddy said, with a look around the table. “We’re going home. We’ll leave when Cassandra and Warren leave—”

“But, Daddy, we’re leaving next Saturday!”

“That’s right, Cassandra, and we’ll be ready to go by then. It’s not as though we have a whole houseful of possessions to pack up. We can caravan to Minnesota and keep an eye on each other while we’re on the road.”

“I agree,” Warren said. “Best if we all plan on going back together.”

God bless Warren for being so agreeable. He made it easy for us to escape.

I felt a little lighter when I went to bed that night. One lie had been mercifully removed. No longer would I have to pretend we were going to go on living in Ohio. All I would have to pretend now—and for the rest of my life—was that, other than Daddy’s fickleness, I had no idea why we would ever want to leave such a beautiful place as Marryat Island.