I don’t go after J because I have no time. I go into the basement, into the storeroom, and pull out the box marked taxes. I carry it into J’s area and set it down by the fireplace.
There are several large pieces of wood but no bits of kindling. I grab one log, take it into the laundry room. On the dryer there’s a hatchet we use to chop large pieces of wood into smaller ones.
That done, I carry the pieces and stack them into a log cabin shape in the fireplace. Then back into the laundry to get some dryer lint. I scatter the dryer lint into the spaces of the log cabin and spark them with the lighter that sits on the mantelpiece.
It takes several minutes for the wood to catch completely, and then I gingerly place a couple of bigger logs on top. It takes more time for those to catch and for the fire to grow large enough.
I throw the bits of paper in—not in one bunch, because that will just smother the fire, but in small batches. I wait for each batch to burn before I put another on the fire.
Two hours later, my job is complete.