“Just go nice and slow as you advance the endoscope.”
Lori’s forehead beaded with perspiration. She glanced at Mason, who sat in his chair a little off to the side of the huge animal. He nodded in encouragement, but the frustration in his eyes was clear to see. No doubt he’d like nothing more right now than to be able to get up out of that wheelchair and do the procedure himself. It was plain as day to see in his eyes.
She stood in front of the tall horse, the long tubes of an endoscope in one hand, the other over the horse’s nose. If the huge beast raised his head even a few more inches, there was no way she’d be able to hold his nose to feed the tube up the nostrils and along the pharynx.
She had to do this, no matter how much her stomach fluttered with nerves. Why couldn’t her first large animal patient be a smaller horse? Horses were notoriously unpredictable. This one could easily hurt her. Mason had been injured by a horse and now he was in a wheelchair, yet he didn’t seem bothered by this animal’s size at all. If her fear of the horse wasn’t enough, having Mason and the owner watching her was just as unnerving.
Lori returned Mason’s smile with a tentative one of her own to cover her nervousness. Rory Anderson, the owner of the horse, held the gelding’s head. Without his help, Lori would not be able to perform the diagnostic procedure. She’d seen it done many times at school, and only once had she done an endoscopy, but it had been on a much smaller horse, and the experience had left her shaken when the animal hadn’t cooperated.
Mr. Anderson gave her a skeptical look that complemented his earlier comment to Mason when they’d pulled up to the barn, and Mason had made the introductions.
“The new vet?” Rory had looked at her, dumbfounded, then had stared back at Mason. “I thought maybe she was one of Shane’s exercise riders you brought along as an assistant, Mason.”
Mason had laughed. “No, she’s not a rider. She’s Doc Johnson’s new associate, and she’s taking my place. I’m just along to make the introductions.”
Rory had looked disappointed. “You’re not giving up being a vet, are you? You know I trust you with my livestock more than those big shots in Missoula. Everyone in Burnt River does. What are we going to do when Doc Johnson retires?”
Mason’s jaw muscles had visibly tightened. “For now, I need to concentrate on getting out of this chair, Rory. Doc Johnson hired Dr. Emerson to replace me. Burnt River won’t be without a vet.”
The farmer had frowned, then looked at Lori. “She’s going to get stepped on once, and squashed like a fly, you know that, right?”
Lori had almost spoken up in her own defense, annoyed that the two men were talking about her as if she wasn’t even there. The sudden spark of anger in Mason’s eyes had stopped her. He’d glared at Rory and leaned forward in his seat. For a second, she’d thought he was going to grab the rancher the way she’d seen him grab Jerry Cooper at the barbeque the night before.
“Give her a chance, Rory, or do you want your daughters to see that you think less of a lady vet?”
The client’s face had turned red, and he’d sputtered. “I think no such thing. I’m only saying –”
“I think you should let Dr. Emerson do her examination of your daughter’s new horse, or she and I will leave. We’ve got other clients to see who don’t judge someone by their size or gender.”
The rancher had frowned, looked at her again with a skeptical expression, then reluctantly nodded.
“My daughter loves that horse. We got him cheap off the track, and she’s got her mind set on making a dressage horse out of him,” Rory finally grumbled.
Mason’s eyes had roamed over the large bay thoroughbred someone led from the barn. “He’s got the conformation for it. He looks athletic and healthy.”
His eyes had gone to Lori, and he nudged his chin at her to indicate she needed to step forward and take over. Lori had met his encouraging gaze. She’d smiled in thanks for the way he’d spoken up for her. She’d have to thank him again properly when they were out of earshot of the rancher. Mason’s presence gave her the courage she lacked.
She’d squared her shoulders and gripped her stethoscope that hung around her neck. Her heart had pounded in her chest, and her palms had become clammy. The horse was huge. If she stood on her toes, she wouldn’t even be able to touch his ears. At least he looked calm.
“What’s been going on with him, Mr. Anderson?” Hopefully she sounded confident and assertive.
Rory Anderson had rubbed at his chin, then looked from her to the horse. “He seems perfectly fine, but every time he gets ridden and a bit winded, he starts to cough and wheeze. It’s almost like he’s got pneumonia or something, but it only happens when he’s at exercise.”
Lori had smiled. She’d recognized the symptoms the owner described immediately. She’d glanced at Mason. The look in his eyes had told her he’d already made his diagnosis, too, but he wasn’t going to speak up. Taking a deep breath, she’d walked up to the horse. One of her professors had stressed that no matter what, a thorough examination was always warranted, even if a diagnosis was obvious.
She’d tentatively patted the sleek coat of the beautiful animal, then held her stethoscope to his girth, listening to his heart and lungs. She’d held her shaky fingers under his neck to get a pulse rate, then lifted his upper lip and pressed on the gums to check his capillary refill time. Everything seemed normal on quick examination. She stepped as far away from the animal as possible without making it obvious she was afraid.
“He doesn’t have pneumonia. His lungs sound clear,” she’d stated, turning to look at the owner. “I’d like to see him exercise so I can hear for myself what’s going on, but by your description I’m fairly certain he’s got a condition called laryngeal hemiplegia.”
Rory Anderson had frowned. “Laryngeal . . . what?” He’d stared from her to Mason.
“What’s the common term for the condition, Dr. Emerson?” Mason looked at her. He hadn’t done anything to chime in and take over her case, when he could have very easily done so. Lori had shot him a silent look of thanks.
“It’s commonly referred to as roaring, due to the sound the horse makes at exercise.” She’d taken a deep breath, ready to recite the condition the way she would have done to her professor, then paused.
Layman’s terms. You need to use layman’s terms with the clients.
“There are two cartilages, called the arytenoids, on either side of the horse’s larynx . . . the throat, that open when the horse breathes, which allow air to pass through the trachea to the lungs.” She used her hands to illustrate what she was saying. “With a horse that roars, one of the arytenoids, most commonly the left one, lacks nerve stimulation to open, and that produces the sound you’re hearing. The horse is unable to get enough air into his lungs at exercise because the passage isn’t open enough.”
Rory Anderson had listened intently and watched her demonstration with her hands, while Mason had grinned. He’d nodded at her in satisfaction. Lori had fought to keep her own smile in check. Having Mason with her gave her an inexplicable sense of self-confidence, even if the large horse intimidated her.
“So, what do we do for that?” the rancher asked. “The horse is unusable if he can’t be ridden. My daughter is going to be devastated.”
Lori had shaken her head. “After I see him at exercise, I‘d like to do an endoscopic exam to assess his arytenoids and to make a definitive diagnosis. There is a surgery, called a laryngoplasty, which can be done that ties the affected cartilage into a permanent open position, which can alleviate the problem. Most horses with the condition can then go on and do well as performance horses. There will be some management issues to consider after surgery, but we can discuss those after the exam.”
Rory Anderson hadn’t looked pleased, but he’d nodded his consent to the diagnostic procedure. Clearly, he loved his daughter enough to do what was needed for the horse.
Once he was chased in a round pen for several minutes, the horse had started to make the typical wheezing noise, and Lori made her conclusive diagnosis with the endoscope. The left arytenoid cartilage was definitely paralyzed, preventing the equine from drawing in a full volume of air while at exercise.
“Would you like to confirm the diagnosis?” Lori looked at Mason, and held the end of the endoscope out to him. He hesitated, as if he was about to decline, but clearly he couldn’t help himself and he glanced through the scope.
“Your diagnosis is spot on, Dr. Emerson.”
He handed the endoscope back to her. His dark eyes sparkled as he smiled at her. Lori blinked, but couldn’t tear her eyes away. When he looked at her with that casual grin, her heart began to flutter.
The horse snorted behind her, and Lori tore her gaze away. then directed her attention to Mr. Anderson. Hopefully she sounded coherent as she discussed options for the horse.
When she was done, Lori rushed to the truck with the instrument, not only to get away from the horse, but to have a moment to compose herself away from Mason. Something had happened when Mason had offered his encouragement and stood up for her with the client.
All of a sudden, he was no longer simply her crutch to get through the day, or the colleague whose job she’d taken. She’d ignored her initial attraction to Mason Taggart the day she’d first met him when he’d shown up at the clinic, and again yesterday at the barbeque. She’d seen him as a handsome colleague whose help she needed. At least that’s what she’d kept telling herself.
It was starting to get harder to ignore the feelings that swirled around in her the more time she spent in his presence. It wasn’t simply his good looks. He was smart, caring, and he didn’t treat her like many of the other residents of Burnt River. He could easily be resentful that she’d taken over his job, but he seemed genuinely interested in helping her succeed.
“You did real good with that thoroughbred.”
Lori stiffened. Mason was right behind her. He’d obviously had no trouble keeping up with her to reach the truck.
“This was an easy diagnosis. I doubt they’ll all be like this.” She glanced at him and smiled to cover her sudden nervousness around him.
Lori’s heart must have skipped a beat at the soft grin Mason returned. He was a good-looking guy, and he had so much going for him. His defeated attitude because of his paralysis was heartbreaking to watch. He was meant for this profession, and if he gave it up, it would kill him. If only there was something she could do to help him through his struggles.
“At least you weren’t afraid of the horse.”
His grin had widened, melting her insides even more. Lori forced her eyes away. She waited for Mason to get into the truck, then folded his wheelchair and set it in the back seat. It was one of those high-performance, light-weight titanium chairs that were easy to maneuver and for him to get around in. She climbed behind the wheel and reached for her appointment book.
“I was terrified of the horse,” she whispered, glancing at the next appointment.
“Well, you didn’t let it show, which is what counts. The next one will be even easier. I think Rory was impressed, even if he couldn’t keep a straight face when he offered you a crate to stand on to feed the endoscope up the horse’s nose.”
Lori glanced over at Mason. If he continued with that heart-stopping grin, she’d be useless to make any more ranch calls, and not because of her fear of horses. Heat crept up into her cheeks, and she forced her eyes back to her appointment book.
“Well, lucky for me, it looks as if the next patient won’t be quite as tall.”
“Who’s your next patient?”
There was a distinct note of eagerness in Mason’s voice that hadn’t been there before. Lori smiled. There was no use making a comment, though. He’d only deny it. The truth was in the sparkle in his eyes. Mason Taggart was glad she’d asked him to come with her on these calls. It was probably a good thing he’d been slightly drunk when she’d asked, or he would have declined by making some silly excuse.
After Dr. Johnson’s announcement that she was going to be making farm calls this week, her first inclination had been to simply throw in the towel and hand in her resignation. Quit before she’d even gotten started, almost like she’d done during her internship.
While Doc Johnson knew about her problems in Denver, he didn’t know she was afraid of large animals, and those were a big part of this practice. Unlike school, she couldn’t fly under the radar anymore.
While she’d initially felt threatened by Mason, or his persona from all the inquiries from other clients, it had dawned on her while talking to his sister at Evie’s Diner that Mason could be a great asset. The more she’d thought about it after asking him to go on ranch calls, she’d also realized there was no reason Burnt River couldn’t have two vets, just as before.
Mason had been Dr. Johnson’s associate for nearly three years. Once he retired, it would make sense to have two vets again rather than one handling everything. It would be a win-win for everyone, if only she could convince Mason Taggart. Maybe by the end of this day, she’d have him at least thinking that her idea would be best for everyone.
“We’re going to see a pony with laminitis,” she answered.
Lori put the key in the ignition to start the engine. Before she could turn it over, Mason’s hand wrapped around her wrist. Her head snapped up to look at him. The contact sent an unexpected rush of adrenaline up her limbs. Mason’s hand was warm, calloused, and strong, like the rest of him. It was easy to forget he was in any way handicapped, much less paralyzed.
“You forgot something,” he said, his dark eyes staring directly at her. His grin had vanished. He looked to be all business at first glance, but there was also something else in his look as his gaze locked on hers.
“Forgot?” she breathed, unable to look anywhere else but at him. Her mind went blank.
“Your end of the bargain, remember? I backed you up on this call, now it’s your turn to tell me why you left Denver.”
Lori swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She nodded and tore her eyes away from the stare that seemed to draw her to him with every second. He was right. He’d completely backed her up and defended her in front of the client. She’d almost thought he’d done it because he liked her, not simply to keep his end of the deal they’d struck before pulling up to the farm.
Lori removed her hand from the keychain that dangled from the ignition. Mason still held her wrist. Her eyes darted to him momentarily, and they stared at each other. She blinked and forced her eyes away, unable to face him.
She had to tell him the truth because she’d made a deal, but looking at him when she told him would only make it harder. He released her wrist when she moved her arm further away. He seemed almost reluctant to do so.
“I accepted an internship after graduation that I thought would be a great learning experience for me,” she started. She fisted both hands in her lap and kept her eyes down. “The cases were challenging, and the work was demanding. The diagnostic side of small animal medicine has always fascinated me, and I had no problems there.”
“Then what gave you problems?” Mason prompted when she paused again to clear the hitch in her throat.
She finally glanced up, and was met with Mason’s searching look. He leaned slightly toward her. There was genuine concern in his eyes. Lori blinked back the sting of tears.
“Surgery was never my strong point,” she stammered. She sniffed, and laughed. “I come from a family of surgeons, yet I’m not cut out for it.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “It was a hemangiosarcoma on a Labrador,” she whispered and shook her head as the awful memories returned. She blinked through the tears that wouldn’t stay back any longer. “The mass was close to the dog’s heart. The lead surgeon who oversaw me perform the surgery stepped out of the room and told me to finish up and close. I must have overlooked an open vein or artery. The dog bled out internally, and it was my fault. I didn’t notice it until it was too late.”
Mason reached for her, tugging her to him. Lori fell into his embrace, sobbing while his arms wrapped around her. She clung to him. She cried as he held her and stroked his hand up and down her back.
“I killed a family’s beloved pet,” she whispered against his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut.
Mason’s arms tightened around her as if he wanted to squeeze the pain from her. His embrace was the most comforting thing she’d experienced in a long time, and talking about the horrible ordeal seemed to ease the longer he held her.
“The surgeon’s more at fault than you are,” he murmured against her hair. “You were fresh out of school. He should have never left the room. He didn’t see the animal as a pet, but simply something that needed repair. That’s what makes you different from someone like him. You care about the animals.”
Lori shook her head. Mason’s soothing voice, along with the tender strokes of his hand along her back, almost made it easier to talk about that awful case.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m the one responsible. I didn’t catch the bleeder.” She raised her head from his shoulder. “The worst part was facing the owners. The entire family was there. I will never forget the devastated look on the faces of the two young boys when I had to explain that their dog was dead.”
“It happens to everyone in this profession, Lori. You’re going to lose patients, no matter how hard you try to save them.”
Lori pulled out of his embrace. She wiped her tears on the sleeve of her shirt, then moved away from Mason to create some distance between them. It had been a long time since someone had held her and comforted her. In Mason’s arms, it seemed like so much more than just a shoulder to cry on.
Lori scoffed. “I panicked, and I resigned that day. I didn’t want to be a vet anymore. I wasn’t cut out for it, but if I went home, my parents would simply lecture me about my poor choices. I saw an ad Dr. Johnson placed, and the idea struck me that coming to a small town seemed like the perfect solution. Now I’m not so sure about that anymore, either.”
“Why?” Mason challenged. His eyes narrowed. “Because you have to face your fears? From what I saw today, you’re a damn good vet, Lori. You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that could happen to anyone. Just because things get a little tough is no reason to run away and quit.”
Lori’s eyes widened with each word he spoke. Failure was not an option in her family. Everything always had to be perfect. Three months ago, things had gone horribly wrong. She’d failed to save a dog’s life, and she’d run away. Anger for being a coward took over.
She shook her head and glared at Mason. “You’re one to talk, Mason Taggart. Who’s the one who said he can no longer be a vet because of an accident?”
Mason’s jaw clenched. “That’s different,” he growled.
Lori leaned forward, letting her annoyance cover up for her own failure, and for her infatuation with this man. “Really? I’d say it’s just an excuse. From everything I’ve heard about you, you’re a brilliant vet, yet you’re ready to throw it all away. You’re so afraid you’ll never walk again that you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you pretend you don’t care, you think it’ll get easier to accept the fact that you’re in a wheelchair for the moment.”
“I don’t even know if I’ll ever walk again. No one seems to know. How do you propose I examine a horse or a cow, much less perform surgery?”
Lori shook her head. “I don’t know, but your hands still work, don’t they? You could start slow, with the small animals at the clinic. And, you could come with me on these farm calls. Help me get over my fear, and I’ll help you with yours.”
Mason’s upper body tensed, and the pulse at his neck visibly throbbed. She’d definitely struck a nerve. Would he accept her challenge? He wasn’t drunk this time. He glared at her, then faced forward and stared out the windshield.
“If you want me to go with you to see your next patient, we’d best get going.”
He refused to look at her. Perhaps she’d overstepped a fragile line, but at least he hadn’t told her to take him home. That alone was reason enough to believe that she’d given him something to think about. For now, it had to suffice. As for her personal feelings for Mason Taggart, she’d have to be careful to keep them concealed.
Lori put the key back in the ignition and started the truck.
“Time to go see a pony with laminitis,” she mumbled, and put the truck in drive.