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WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? What did I do? Why? What got into me? She’d never in her life experienced such overpowering lust. The urge to fuck had countermanded everything else.
“This is your suite.” T’mar halted outside a door and uttered the first words since leaving the observatory.
“How long before we reach Draco?”
“We land the day after tomorrow.” He stared over her head.
Asshole! The next two days would be interminable if this was how he treated her. They’d had sex, he’d shifted into demiforma, and then he’d hustled her out of the observatory like he couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She bit down on her quivering bottom lip. Never let an asshole see you cry. Because he’d cut off her jeans and underwear, she’d had to take the walk of shame with the denim tied sarong-style around her hips.
“Then what happens?” She cringed at having to ask, but she had to know. She refused to be cowed into silence just because he behaved like the biggest jerk on two planets.
“Then we continue in accordance with the original plan. Under the circumstances, it would be best if we avoided further contact with one another. You’re human. I’m a dragon. What happened was...a mistake.”
She reeled as if he’d slapped her. “You’re a real prince!” She spun away, the door to her quarters opened, and she escaped inside.
How could attraction that had felt so right go so wrong? How could the charming, attentive man turn into such a jerk? Maybe because he’s an asshat shifter! Blinking, she gazed at the ceiling, trying not to cry. He wasn’t worth it.
She jumped as her door slid open to admit Patsy.
“I saw him haul ass out of here! Are you all right? What did he do to you? Oh my god, did he rape you?”
Torn jeans, swollen mouth, hair like a rat’s nest, possibly a hickey—the evidence looked damning. Fortunately, Patsy could only see what was visible. After a long dry spell, Helena had been fucked hard and fast by a very well-endowed man. If her friend guessed how sore she was...
“He didn’t rape me. It was consensual.” But, was it? She’d never, ever experienced such uncontrollable lust. Had he zapped her with some mesmerizing mojo? Had there been chemicals in the food she’d eaten?
“You had sex with him willingly?” Patsy appeared more horrified.
It’s not bad enough the guy I slept with turned out to be an asshole, now my friend is looking at me like I’m a skank. And, bigger picture, this is not going to help Patsy overcome her aversion.
“You don’t have to sacrifice yourself this way,” Patsy said.
“I didn’t sacrifice myself. I chose to do it.” God, his smell. Like cloves and cinnamon and woodsmoke from a campfire. Irresistible. Then. Now she found him quite resistible. “But it’s not going to happen again.”
“I’d better get Henry.”
“No, wait!” she cried, but her friend flew out the door.
She cringed, wishing Patsy hadn’t seen her with her jeans sheared off. Why did I do it? What came over me? I’ve been attracted to a lot of men without sleeping with them. It would be convenient to blame T’mar. Patsy and Henry would automatically believe the worst of him, but the sex had been consensual. She’d craved it. He never asked, “Mother, may I,”—he’d just claimed what he wanted—but the aggression had been hotter than hot. She relished every rough caress, every crushing kiss, every hard thrust of his rock-hard cock.
Fuck. Just thinking about sex with the jerk turned her on again.
Forget him. He’s going to forget me. Ignoring him would be the prudent thing. This kind of lust couldn’t be normal. However, being relegated to the harem would throw a wrench into her pseudo plan to negotiate a peace accord.
Patsy rushed in with Henry at her heels, and Helena almost regretted the access T’mar had granted them. Right now, she’d prefer to be alone. She wished she’d thought to grab a robe. But she couldn’t be rude to her worried friends who’d been by her side the whole time, who’d enabled her to escape.
“Patsy said you were assaulted,” Henry said gently. “Are you all right?”
Helena couldn’t help but scowl. “Patsy, that’s not what I said.” She looked at Henry. “That’s not what happened. I understand how you both would be concerned, so let me say again, T’mar and I had consensual sex. I’m fine! He did not physically assault me or hurt me in any way.” Feelings were a different matter.
“However, as this is personal, I would prefer to not discuss it.” She wanted a shower, bed, and a good cry. “I’m fine,” she repeated.
Henry raked a hand through his hair. “I get that you don’t want to talk about this. Maybe the two of you clicked but maybe not. You need to ask yourself why it happened. Did he set out to seduce you for a purpose?”
“Maybe I seduced him.”
“Is that what happened?”
She recalled the setting in the observatory, his attention to her likes and dislikes, how he engaged her in conversation, his musk growing more alluring as the night wore on, and him feeding her.
The fucker deliberately seduced me!
“Nothing to do with the dragons can be dismissed as inconsequential. As Patsy and I learned as operatives, the smallest clues can reveal the most. Obviously, you’re attracted to Prince T’mar. Don’t forget the Draconians are still the enemy. The truce is shaky; we have no idea how genuine it is or how long it will last. We don’t know why they requested another concubine or what they hope to gain.”
“I don’t know...peace?” While her judgment could be considered suspect, she felt like the attraction and subsequent sex between her and T’mar was personal and had nothing to do with the conflict between their governments. She hated the idea of being a notch on a bedpost, but better a casual sexual conquest than a means to a political end.
Pillow talk whispered in the wrong ears could topple dynasties. She doubted she’d revealed damaging information, unless, don’t stop, oh god, don’t stop was somehow politically significant.
“That’s a huge assumption,” Patsy said. “And by huge, I mean ungrounded. To date, everything they have done has proven their instinct is to attack.”
“They haven’t attacked us,” she pointed out. “They only threatened to.”
“So the space lizards’ intention is to terrorize us?” Patsy retorted.
“Please don’t call them space lizards,” Helena said.
Patsy opened her mouth as if to argue but sighed. “All right. Sorry.” She closed her eyes. When she opened them, tears glistened. “I’m scared for you.” Her voice quavered. “You’re my friend! Henry and I have served on many missions together. You have to get close to the subject, but you must maintain your mental distance. You can’t get sucked in emotionally. I’m worried you’re showing signs of Stockholm syndrome.”
“That’s ridiculous! In the first place, I’m not a hostage. We’re not being held captive.”
“Aren’t we?” Henry said. “We’re contained in a single passageway on a huge ship. Until a short time ago, we couldn’t see the doors of our own cells.”
“Does this look like a cell to you?” Helena swept her arm to encompass her spacious quarters. Everything was revealed now—a wide computer screen, the food replicator, the door to the sleeping chamber, and a space observation window.
“A gilded cage is still a cage,” Patsy said.
“No passenger on any commercial space flight is allowed to roam where they wish. You can’t hang out on the bridge or visit the engine room or the crew quarters.”
“We can visit each other, but otherwise, we’re confined to our staterooms,” she said.
“They’re a bit wary of us, that’s true,” Helena admitted. “But if the situation was reversed, and we had three Draconians on an Earth ship, we wouldn’t let them go wherever they pleased.”
“You’re identifying with the dragons,” Patsy said.
“Or am I keeping an open mind?” she countered, but her friends’ arguments had done their damage. She questioned T’mar’s motives more than ever now.
“They can change form,” Henry said. “They might have other abilities, too.”
“They can smell emotions...” She recalled the scents T’mar had listed off. At times, she’d almost imagined she could smell him, his growing interest, his desire. But his rejection? That had come as a huge surprise.
“What?” Patsy and Henry said together.
“T’mar told me emotions exude specific odors. It’s how they read people.”
Henry stroked his chin. “So they can smell biochemicals...I wonder what substances they exude? What if they release odorants that stir another person’s emotions?”
Like lust. The idea had already crossed her mind but not seriously. Could it be possible? She hadn’t been able to get enough of him. His smell, his kiss, his touch had driven her wild. Had she been under the influence of a pheromone?
It would explain her behavior.
She dropped onto the giant sofa, scooting over so she didn’t fall through the gap. Even the furniture emphasized the difference between their people.
“Are you all right?” Henry asked.
She took a breath and nodded. “I will be.” She needed to regroup, recover, get over the irrational sense of loss. Those were hormones talking. Hormones that had been manipulated. She’d almost fallen for his enticement, his charm, his dimples. Like a predator, T’mar had stalked her, played with her.
Patsy perched on the edge of the sofa. “I’m so sorry.”
She blew out a huff of air. “Thank you guys for watching out for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” True friends didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear but what you needed to hear.
“What are you going to do now?” Henry asked.
“Keep my distance. Avoid him like the plague.”
