Dear Ms. Sincere Jones,
My boyfriend is a piece of work. He appears to the world as being this sweet guy. Nope, he isn’t that sweet at all. I needed his help at work. He gave me some excuse about how he couldn’t help me. He had just worked a sixteen hour shift, and he was tired. What? I know it was last minute, but I don’t want to hear his excuses. He is always talking about how I never accept his help. Now, I am asking for it. What type of man is he? This is why I don’t like asking anyone for help. I get excuses.
I feel like I am the only one in this relationship. I plan everything we do. He could contribute to our relationship too. He thinks that I don’t want his input on our weekend retreats. That’s not true. He claims that all I do is argue about how my plans are better. I mean, if my plans are better, what is there to argue about? I don’t know what to do with him. Do you have any suggestions?
Sincerely,
An Independent Woman
Dear Independent Woman,
Before I explain anything, I have to tell you this very important information. If you keep going on this path of destruction, you will lose your boyfriend. How can you expect anyone to help you after he/she worked a sixteen hour shift? You gave him a very short notice. You are making him feel bad about doing his job. I don’t know you, but from reading your letter, you sound a bit selfish. When people don’t do what you want them to do, you write them off. It gives you a reason to be independent. There is nothing wrong with being independent. Why are you in a relationship?
Your boyfriend is telling you that he doesn’t feel comfortable planning a weekend getaway. I don’t think it is because he doesn’t want to assist you with planning. I think it is because he doesn’t want to be told that his plans suck. If you continue emasculating your boyfriend, he might leave you for someone who will treat him better than you. I have enclosed a list of counselors in the area that would assist you.
Sincerely,
Ms. Sincere Jones
Bible Inspirational Verse: Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Proverbs 19:20