Dear Ms. Sincere Jones
I can’t stand my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. How did he get over me? It has been a year since I caused our break up. Yep, I will keep it real. I cheated on him because he wasn’t giving me all that I wanted. I still don’t believe that he found a new woman so fast. After all the crying and begging, I thought he would be alone for a few years. Damn, I wasn’t ready for this new girlfriend. She doesn’t treat our children badly. So, they tell me. Is it going to be hard for them to adjust to this new girlfriend? I mean, they adjusted pretty well with my new boyfriend. Still, they don’t know the whole story. As mad as my ex-boyfriend was at me, he didn’t want to cause the children anymore hurt and sorrow. Damn, I just cannot believe he moved on. I want him to be happy, but I am still in shock. Do you have any suggestions concerning how to keep the peace with our children?
Sincerely,
Speechless
Dear Speechless,
First of all, I want you to remember that you left him. Of course, he is going to move on. I don’t know him, but there is no doubt in my mind that he loved you. Most men will move on to reduce the hurt and agony of not being in a relationship. Some men are different. Some men need companionship. Whatever his reason for beginning a new relationship, he has moved on. So, I am going to need you to get over yourself. From what you wrote, it seems like he is a good guy. He didn’t tell your children the real reason for the relationship ending. When most people are hurt in a relationship, they do not think clearly. They manipulate their children into being on their side. He didn’t do that at all. He put his children first, and he put his emotions on the back burner. He really sounds like a good father.
Most children feed off their mother’s reactions regarding the new girlfriend. My advice to you is to not bad mouth her in front of your children. That only makes you look bad in front of your children. Who gives you the right to have an opinion about your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend? You lost your vote when you left him. You know your ex-boyfriend better than I do. You know deep down inside that he wouldn’t choose a girlfriend that would treat his children badly.
I suggest you give her a chance. You shouldn’t do it for yourself. You should do it for your children and your ex-boyfriend. It is only fair. He didn’t denounce you after you cheated. I am not saying to praise her to the highest kingdom. I am suggesting that you be civil to one another. Allow your children to develop their own opinion of their father’s new girlfriend. I reread your letter again. It sounds as if you are not over your ex-boyfriend. I don’t know, but it could be that you don’t want anyone else to have him. These are issues that I suggest you review with a professional or a pastor. I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Ms. Sincere Jones
Inspirational Bible Verse: Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12 17-18.