There is a unity of experience—of one experience with another and all experiences together—in which all the thousand-fold occurrences in life become inseparably connected. This unity must be so fully thought through that it becomes an essential part of the person, by which she/he is led intuitively in every moment.1
We each live in our own version of this magnificently complex and capable human body. We eat, sleep, play, and work, seeking discovery and satisfaction in one way or another. The body is our constant companion and a large part of who we are. But do we really feel it, appreciate it, and have an ongoing dialogue with it? This book explores the bodymind relationship and describes how we can practice a method of self-care that is simple yet profound.
Does your body feel like a burden, an enemy, a dangerous mystery, or an ally and a reservoir of knowledge? When you have pain or restrictions in your body, do you turn to others for help because your body is “acting up”? Can you listen to what wisdom might be right there under your skin? The body’s intelligence is separate from our IQ, our education, and our intellect, all of which have taken on a higher value in modern culture. We need to give our body intelligence more opportunities to shine.
In my career as a massage therapist and teacher of body awareness and yoga, I have come to appreciate and value the process of staying in touch with the ever-present connection between my body and my mind, and helping my students to do the same. This means being aware of physical sensations and emotions with an attitude of nonjudgmental curiosity and attentiveness. I see how my experience in my body at any given moment is a fundamental support and resource for self-knowledge in a larger sense. The body has its own language, which we are born knowing but which for many reasons is often forgotten. Teaching students to relearn this language has been immensely rewarding to me. This type of study and practice is often referred to as “somatics”; the word soma (from the Greek and Sanskrit) means the “body perceived from within.”
Throughout history, self-awareness and holistic healing methods have offered seekers the tools to know themselves better and live healthier lives. Yoga and other age-old Eastern movement arts like Aikido, Qi Gong, and Tai Chi teach that the life force energy (fueling both body and mind) can be regulated and enhanced by disciplined practice. During the twentieth century many wonderful techniques emerged that help people to become more aware of who they are. Some are therapies in which a practitioner works on you and you are relatively passive, as in the many types of manual therapy. Others place emphasis on physical alignment and healthy movement patterns, such as the Alexander Technique, Feldenkrais Method, Ideokinesis, Body-Mind Centering, and Sensory Awareness. Still others draw direct attention to the bodymind connection in a more psychological direction. These include Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, Rosen Method Bodywork and Movement, and Somatics.2 Through parallel and often overlapping pathways, these pioneering methods have given us tools to learn more authentically who we are—what “human nature” really is.
Bodymind Ballwork is a method that starts with the body, by feeling and massaging the muscles and fascia with pressure from rubber balls. It seems simple, doesn’t it? Self-massage using these tools that are really toys. But wonderful things happen. Chronic and acute physical pain can be relieved—often quite quickly. I frequently hear the lower back, hips, neck, and shoulders mentioned as trouble spots that have been relieved. More ease of movement and breathing are other perks that students experience right from the very beginning.
But what also develops gradually as practice continues over time is an opening in the inner dialogue between body and mind, and a profound investigation of self-awareness. We start to understand how there can really be no separation between body and mind—that every sensory experience has an emotional correlate, and every emotion and thought pattern is imprinted into our physical tissues in some way. The body reveals patterns of sensation, which then reveal patterns of thought and emotion. The body begins to teach its language to us, starting wherever we are. Some come to this work already attuned to inner sensations, but for others, it’s entirely new territory.
We all have at least some self-awareness—we know when we are tired, hungry, happy, or sad. We recognize pain and possibly fear when we get injured. Hopefully we enjoy sensual pleasure. Self-awareness has two complementary forms: conceptual self-awareness and embodied self-awareness.3 Conceptual self-awareness is made up of our cognitive thoughts about ourselves, with associated memories, observations, evaluations, and analysis. It includes autobiographical memory, pleasure seeking, and goal setting. Thoughts such as “My body has a certain size and shape,” “My personality has these traits,” or “My history includes these stories” show us thinking of ourselves as “object.” Talking psychotherapy relies on this type of self-awareness in the journey, and there is tremendous benefit in exploring our self-knowledge verbally in this way.
Embodied self-awareness is the “feeling” state without analysis—in other words, being the “subject.” Ask yourself: What is my sensory and emotional experience right now? What is happening in my body, my breath, and my mind? Can I feel my body position, my breath, my state of attention, my energy level? This kind of awareness is not dependent on language. It exists only in the present moment, and it doesn’t need any rationale, explanation, or strategy. It is simply what and who we are right now. Typically we are not educated to develop this type of awareness; we are socialized from a very young age to behave in certain ways without noticing what we “feel.” Yet embodied self-awareness is crucial to taking good care of ourselves, even if it does not follow societal norms. As Alan Fogel states so succinctly in the preface to his book Body Sense, “Awareness is medicine.”4
Embodied self-awareness helps us to notice possible physical and emotional issues before they escalate. Athletes and dancers can prevent and treat injuries; older students can improve coordination and balance to avoid falls; and hardworking folks of all ages and all professions can relieve the aches and pains—and mental stress—of a demanding life. People who already receive massage, chiropractic care, or physical therapy can augment and support their treatments by using the balls at home between sessions. Bodymind Ballwork has the potential to lessen the symptoms of common chronic ailments such as stress-related cardiovascular disease, immune dysfunction, and depression in ways that can be life-changing.
However, embodied self-awareness is easy to lose, with our modern culture’s priorities on medical interventions for body problems, and reliance on technology and outside “experts” to deal with health issues. We forget that we each live in our own body, and therefore we have the best chance of understanding it. Embodied self-awareness doesn’t come without some effort; it must be actively practiced, cultivated, and maintained as a self-directed path of discovery in order to serve its purpose of helping us attain our best state of health.
Psychologist Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, says it this way:
If you are not aware of what your body needs, you can’t take care of it. If you don’t feel hunger, you can’t nourish yourself. If you mistake anxiety for hunger, you may eat too much. And if you can’t feel when you’re satiated, you’ll keep eating. Most traditional therapies downplay or ignore the moment-to-moment shifts in our inner sensory world. But these shifts carry the essence of the organism’s response: the emotional states that are imprinted in the body’s chemical profile, in the viscera, in the contraction of the striated muscles of the face, throat, trunk and limbs.… Once you start approaching your body with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.5
Joan, a psychotherapist, learned about the ballwork while studying yoga with me. It appealed to her as a noninvasive and effective way to deal with the various physical problems she was having at the time—sacroiliac dysfunction, lower back spasms, and plantar fasciitis. She wrote of her first experience: “It was love at first sight! It felt like getting an expert Shiatsu massage, but one in which I could control the location, intensity, and duration of the massage myself.” As she began to work on the areas of greatest need, other insights emerged. She realized that a fall three years before had caused her chest and ribs to tighten, which significantly affected her lower back and pelvis. As she began to work with the balls on her chest, her breathing became fuller and deeper. She says: “I find the ballwork to be both exciting and soothing—mentally, physically, and spiritually. It helps me fix most of the problems I used to go to doctors for. Spending time taking good care of myself feels like a gift, and gives me control of my life as I age. Having tools to keep myself active and mobile is so reassuring. It’s also helpful for mood regulation. Whether I’m feeling speedy or lethargic, using a ball on my spine for ten minutes totally recenters me.”
Linda owns and operates a horse riding and training facility. She says:
I have fallen off horses and done heavy, repetitive manual chores for twenty years, which has resulted in chronic pain not relieved by massage, chiropractic, or electrical stimulation. When I met Ellen, I was skeptical of the ballwork at first because it was painful. But Ellen helped me to modify the degree of pressure so that I could tolerate it, and day by day my muscles and fascia began to loosen. The twenty-year pain behind my shoulder is gone. My plantar fasciitis is gone. The pain in my right buttock is gone. I haven’t felt this good since I started working with horses. Since learning this technique I have practiced it every day and I feel wonderful.
Throughout this book, you will meet others like Joan and Linda who practice Bodymind Ballwork. Their stories and reflections offer previews of the treasures this work offers for your well-being throughout your life.
As mentioned earlier, the early and mid-twentieth century was a rich time for the development of somatic education. This era saw intensely contrasting trends in education, politics, and culture, with people learning about the ideas of Sigmund Freud, Wilhelm Reich, Karl Marx, and Maria Montessori, all at the same time Hitler was coming into power. In Europe at that time, the prevailing system of physical education was pre-military training for boys and men, emphasizing muscle building, calisthenics, and competitive sports. In response to that, several women in Germany introduced a different approach for girls and women called Gymnastik, with the purpose of fostering development of natural movement, coordination, rhythm, and emotional expression. The two main proponents of Gymnastik were Hede Kallmeyer and Bess Mensendieck, both of whom had studied with Genevieve Stebbins (1857–1934), a teacher of the Delsarte method in America.
Although Gymnastik was separate from the public school system in Germany, it became an established (though still revolutionary) professional teaching field, regulated by the government and requiring three years of training. Elsa Gindler (1885–1961) was trained in Gymnastik and became a central figure in her field. Gindler is the unsung pioneer of bodymind work, and her influence has been tremendous. She was interested in the challenge of keeping the body healthy and strong without sacrificing sensitivity and curiosity, and nurturing a sense of exploration of the capacities of our human body and mind. She called her work “Arbeit am Menschen,” or “work on the human being.”
As often happens with innovators, Gindler developed her original work in response to her own needs. In her twenties she had been diagnosed with incurable tuberculosis. Instead of the retreat to breathe pure mountain air that her doctors recommended, she decided to do her own deep inner work to develop her own body’s healing powers. She worked patiently and persistently with her breathing, and in a year she was cured. What she learned became the basis of her life’s work. Gindler documented her work extensively, but all her records were destroyed when a bomb hit her studio just before the end of World War II—a devastating loss.
Here are a few excerpts from “Gymnastik for Busy People,” her only surviving article, in which Gindler speaks of bodymind unity:
The aim of my work is not learning certain movements, but rather the achievement of concentration. Only by means of concentration can we attain the full functioning of the physical apparatus in relation to mental and spiritual life. [This work] can only be entered into and understood through consciousness.… By that I mean consciousness that is centered, reacts to the environment, and can think and feel.
Relaxation is that condition in which we have the greatest capacity of reacting. It is a stillness within us, a readiness to respond appropriately to any stimulus.
Whoever is truly able to relax is also capable of healthy tension. This we perceive as the beautiful changeability of energies that react to every stimulus, increasing and diminishing as required. Above all, it includes a strong feeling of inner strength, of effortlessness in accomplishment—in short, a heightened joie de vivre.6
Gindler trained many teachers, among them Charlotte Selver and Carola Speads, who both brought her work to America. Others in this “second generation” of somatic educators (not trained by Gindler but aware of or influenced by her work) were F. M. Alexander, Moshe Feldenkrais, Mabel Elsworth Todd, Ida Rolf, Irmgard Bartenieff, and Marion Rosen. Thanks to these pioneers, there are many excellent methods for accessing the healing power of bodymind awareness that are known throughout the world.
As somatic work spread in the worlds of dance, theater, and alternative healing, there was significant cross-fertilization, which continues through today. Elaine Summers (1925–2014) studied with Selver and Speads early in her career as a dancer, choreographer, and filmmaker. Elaine developed the method called Kinetic Awareness, a method of self-awareness using slow movement and ballwork to deepen the practitioner’s detailed awareness and articulation of movement. Many dancers and choreographers worked with Elaine as part of their training and self-care, finding the work to be essential for preventing or healing the injuries that are inevitable for dancers. I met Elaine as an injured dancer wanting to get rid of knee pain, and this deep work soon became an integral part of my life as a dancer, massage therapist, and yoga teacher. I am grateful to have worked closely with Elaine over many years, and her teachings continue to resonate in my current work with Bodymind Ballwork.
In part I, we will look at the bodymind connection in some detail. Chapter 1 provides a useful map from the yoga tradition describing the layers of our awareness, making the point that any experience is multilayered and never just in the body or the mind. Chapter 2 looks at the nervous system; if you are curious about how your body accomplishes the tasks of awareness, self-regulation, stress management, and relaxation, this chapter will offer some of the neuroscience of those topics. Chapter 3 includes information about our soft tissues, especially fascia, and how bodywork helps us release tension. In chapter 4 we discuss how we form an “idea” or sense of our body, our posture, and how the power of conditioning influences our perceptions. Chapter 5 looks at some common defense mechanisms and why it is helpful or even essential to address long-held psychological issues with embodied self-awareness.
In part II, chapters 6 through 14 will teach you how to practice Bodymind Ballwork. Chapter 6 outlines some basic principles of the work that are helpful to understand before you start. Chapter 7 gives instructions for the most popular techniques—those that I consider to be “everyday” practices. From there, chapters 8 through 14 outline all the possible ways you can use balls on every part of the body, from head to toes. You can skip directly to these practice chapters in part II if you wish. It is my hope that this book gives you a starting place for a practice that will develop over time. You’ll learn by doing it, and the conversation between your bodymind and the balls will guide and teach you.
Chapter 15, the conclusion, reviews the benefits of the work and offers possible applications in education, health care settings, and spiritual disciplines. It is my hope that bodymind techniques like this one can be integrated into our collective consciousness and health care repertoire. Our own awareness is an untapped resource that is ready to help us live life to the fullest extent possible.