Once Wesley was staring down upon my head with his clean breath hitting the tips of my eyelashes, I started getting tongue-tied in ways only my NEET Skype buddies probably could. But this complete sense of wanting to just totally pee myself was not exactly what I’d call unwelcomed.
“So, is it really TRUE what they say??” I blathered, as Wesley already began to giggle at me. “Oh my god…look at those FEET!”
“Hey, I know what you want,” he said as suavely as ever. His voice was amazing—crystal-clear and healthy—without the faintest wavering or croakiness. “Maybe you’d like to be introduced? There’s a room right upstairs.”
As he said this, I couldn’t help but feel the worst knots in my stomach I’ve probably felt in years. But it didn’t stop me from looking right up into those lovely blue eyes of his without hesitation.
“You big sex-freak!” I said, as Wesley blinked rapidly with a priceless expression. “Seriously, you really thought I was asking about that? Hey buddy, FYI, I just wanted to know how um…ticklish you were. You see it’s my job; I’m a professional tickler!”
Wesley might even have been a bit embarrassed, as he stepped back from me just slightly. “Oh no...well, maybe…but I….”
“Ooo, we both know what that means!” I exclaimed as Wesley looked downright ready to freak out. But he soon got my unruly little hands under control and said, “It seems that I underestimated you…eh Laurie?”
“Well, well…so you do bother to remember the names of your favorite pussies?” Wesley gave a good chuckle and answered, “I think I know a lot more than just your name at this point.”
“My GOSH. The size of these hands!” I said with wonder, as my fingers were so beautifully enclosed in his fresh warmth all the way down to my wrists. “Come on…what are you, 6’ 4 or something?”
As soon as Wesley whispered two numbers into my ear (a 6 and then a 5), I felt like I was an Energizer Bunny that was on the verge of burning out its batteries. He whisked me around the dancefloor, with my tiny Mary Janes perched right on-top of his crazy Sideshow Bob shoes. The flashing lights gave off a heavenly feel. Our bodies seemed to just glide along. Oh, it was so darned hopeless how completely under his wicked Chad-spell I now was!
“You know what I did before I came here?” I asked with my head tilting back. “Well, let’s just say that I spent about five minutes looking at this funny little invention that goes bzzzt! To be honest, I still wish I just took that cute robot right to my special little place.”
“Jesus, you really haven’t gotten laid in a long-ass time,” Wesley said. But as soon as I answered, “Is three years so long?” he smiled bigger than I’d seen yet. “Fuck…I didn’t think that could even be possible. Seriously…I think I’m officially in love.”
“Hey dummy, haven’t you ever heard of the term incel? I added. “If someone is not having sex, even if it’s their ‘choice,’ chances are, something is preventing them from being able to enjoy their life how they should.”
Wesley just had to be beyond puzzled, but it didn’t stop him from smiling at me as if I was his new (non-trophy?) girlfriend. Then I whispered, “Should I give you a hint as to what that certain something is?”
“There’s no need,” Wesley assured me, as our faces grew closer than ever. “All I’m gonna say is that I will never mistreat you. In fact, whichever piece of shit it was who hurt you before…well, I’d be glad to look him up and kick his sorry ass straight across the curb right now.”
“Ahahaha…I appreciate the gesture,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Look, should we go have a seat in one of those booths? You know, to get drunk and get this bouncy-boppin’ thing over with?”
“Actually... no.” Wesley stopped me as he finally lifted me right up into his arms and chuckled. “Ha-ha, why would I let that piss-water get in the way of this?”
Pretty-boy Prince Wesley was soon swooping his Juliet right out of the dance-area and up a staircase. Before I knew it, we were about to head right into some kind of red-tinted penthouse-style room. (I guess prostitutes worked here or something?) But before we went in, I just had to tug on his expensive-looking shirt.
“Wes, I don’t think I can do this,” I said, like a true love-shy basement dweller. “Please….”
“I see,” he nodded glumly. But he also added, “I just wish I could’ve done something for you.”
“Well…well…actually, you can,” I said as my eyes began to water. “I know this must sound silly, but twenty-one years old or not, I’m still a sheltered little girl. Like, most of my teen years, I just stayed home with my grandma and played board games. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m scared of boys. It’s just that…it wouldn’t feel right…unless we went into my room. Where my bed is. The very same bed that I always had.”
“Understood,” Wesley said with total ease. And as my eyes practically stuck straight out of my head, he looked back at me as closely as ever. “I just hope we don’t like, you know, wake up grandma.”
Suddenly, I felt the strangest urge to just burst out laughing. “No, we won’t have to worry about that one bit!” I added. “Well, uh…there is actually…wait…um…never mind!”
* * *
It happened. We both snuck right into the room that I always tried to keep as authentic as possible. From the day I moved away from grandma, I made sure to recreate my humble nest exactly as I’d always kept it: Smoochy the frog and Brer Rabbit sat right over the old, brittle bedframe, just like they did when I was learning to spell.
As Wesley and I stared at each other with the moonlight shining on us through the window, I practically thought of Adam and Eve. It wasn’t just time to commit the ultimate sin, we both, like them, might have had the ultimate bodies. Chad and his ‘Playmate-of-the-Year’ girlfriend Stacy were both meth-addicted Jerry Springer guests compared to us. Oh boy do I remember just how smooth and beautifully crafted Wes’ muscles looked. And when he kissed me, his mouth was as minty clean and scrumptious as someone who used mouthwash so much, that plaque practically disintegrated from the sheer power of those pearly whites.
At first, the plan was that I was going to remain as quiet as humanly possible, regardless of how much of a loud beast Wes turned out to be. But…as soon as he shoved me onto the bedspread and began to sink his incredibly lickable, droolable, body into mine, this whole idea seemed to vanish as fast as an American Idol finalist.
As I screeched and howled and made noises animals probably couldn’t make, I continued to be reminded of that certain, uh…someone downstairs. Or should I say, the room that was pretty much right beneath mine. Crikey, even if I hadn’t been wailing like a cat, that poor certain-somebody would’ve still easily gotten shocked awake just by the way my bed was moving. Time and time again, I was sure the old thing would finally break. In the end, it was almost as if this bed was consciously aware, and was doing me its last favor. The darn thing was absolutely determined to hold out, just so that this perfect eugenic superman could really seem like he was pounding me and my whole room into earthquake wreckage. And as things drew near to the end, I didn’t even attempt to hold back.
“OH, just fill me UP!” I screamed. “You six foot five…HUGE PENIS...You perfect...BIGDICK MAN. Ugh GOD, THOUSANDS of people just…just BEGGIN’ to taste your SWEAT! Just put…PUT THOSE PERFECT FUCKING BABIES INSIDE OF MEEEE!”
While I kept blabbering on about getting dicked to smithereens by this poster-boy for Hitler’s Germany, Wes was mostly mumbling indiscernible cave-man gibberish, all the while rotating between sucking on my breasts and slurping along my neck like a vampire. Eventually, I heard him clearly say, “Brooke’s got NOTHING on this! Perfect…perfect lil’ pussy….”
And once he finally did release, I felt something beyond simple animalistic pleasure. I was so truly glad to get every single drop. It was nectar. I wanted everything to do with him. But this rare moment of true peace could only feel so fleeting…. It was just the break of a wave. And once Wes was finished, he was definitely finished.
“Hey, don’t look like that. Please.” He said this as he patted my head like I was now just a sad little mutt he happened to be passing by on the street. It had to be obvious even in the dark that my eyes were a bucket of tears, and he added, “You haven’t seen the last of me yet. I promise.”
I sort of just lied back catatonically as Wes zipped his pants back on and tossed his shirt back over his torso. Once he was gone, I fell fast into a mummy-sleep without budging the slightest until morning.
* * *
My breakfast with Stevie the next day was just as awkward as I had been expecting. Although he did not even allude to a single peep about what happened last night, the poor guy laid out my plate full of pancakes with total deadness in his eyes. It was a wonder if he even went back to sleep after it all happened.
“So, you had a…meeting today,” he said, serving himself some plain toast. Then, looking especially downcast, he added, “And you’re sure? That…I…don’t need to come or anything?”
“Don’t trouble yourself!” I said as normally as I could. “This is just some silly business I have to take care of. You know. Us Twitch Goddesses have to keep up all these standard acts of diplomacy. Gosh, I really hate politics!”
My horrible attempts at being funny usually made my dear Veterancel at least chuckle; but today, all he could muster was a few coughs that might have almost been forced laughs. And boy did I wish I could just spill out how sorry I was.
But as the day progressed, I came to realize that I probably did the right thing. As my Uber reached town and went over that incredible Manhattan bridge, I continued to remember just how much I loved that whole experience…right until it had to end.
“I can’t apologize for something that I love, right?” I thought to myself, the gigantic skyscrapers catching my eye. “And that’s the thing. Didn’t I feel so happy knowing that he was around? God, it’s almost like the simple fact that he’s always there made that whole ordeal work in the first place. If I was by myself, if I had no channel, would I have been able to endure yet another pump-and-dump that didn’t end with me preforming tricks with a noose?”
Now firmly in the big city, I stepped out into One Cafe and waited patiently for my meeting. A good ten minutes passed. There wasn’t a single bossy looking bimbo from East Asia in sight. Eventually, I looked at my phone and decided to start a little protest.
“Where the HECK are you??” I texted irritably. And yes, almost as if she had been just waiting for my slightest whimper, I received an answer in a matter of seconds. “ONE Dine… where are you, my sweetie?”
I finally began to realize that maybe this outing with Nari wasn’t quite what I was expecting. And before I could even confirm this, she posted, “I am so very sorry darling…you must have thought I meant that cheap Starbucks dump. No, I am at ONE Dine! You know, the best views in the whole city!”
“Wait…WHAT?” I typed literally with those caps. “You mean that freakin' place at the top of the Trade Center? What are you, some kind of millionaire?”
“Almost…” Nari posted with a cheeky smiley. “So, are you coming, sweetie?”
“Yes, SWEETIE-PIE…I’ll be there in a jiffy,” I texted, making sure to sneak out of the place without any of the snotty waitresses noticing.
As I walked down the busy streets of Manhattan, with that ridiculous super-skyscraper firmly in mind, I couldn’t help but think, “God…it costs like a 100 smackeroons just to get a sandwich up there. But she must think that treating me like a celebrity will make me forget about what a wicked old witch she is. Hah! You sneaky K-idol. We’ll see about that!”