“What’ll you ladies have? We’ve got hamburgers, hot dogs, and ribs,” Sebastian called, filling a platter with meat. “And for you, Gabby, there’s a vegan patty, along with a gluten-free bun.”
Gabby sat up, sliding her legs off the lounger, and raised her hand. “You guys are fantastic. Thank you. But can I have one rib too?”
Utter silence fell over the pool deck. The only sounds were the children and dogs playing on the lawn.
“But—” Ari sputtered. Then she dropped her voice to a whisper. “The ribs aren’t vegan. They’re meat.” She almost bared her teeth as she said the word.
Gabby smiled, answering her in the same whisper, loud enough for all the women nearby to hear. “I know.” Then she grinned. “I’m vegan most of the time. But once in a while, I can’t resist a barbecued rib. Even if I have a stomachache the next day.”
Ava laughed. “You’re only doing it because Fernsby’s not here to see you.”
Gabby shook her finger at Ava. “Don’t you tell him. He’ll think he’s won the war.” She raised her voice. “And don’t you tell Fernsby either, Dane.”
Dane put an offended hand to his gorgeous chest and mouthed, Who, me?
Cammie had very occasionally seen Gabby indulge. And only when Fernsby wasn’t nearby.
A few minutes were spent by everyone picking and pouring condiments, adding potato salad and green salad, then taking their seats again to enjoy the barbecue. Cammie couldn’t resist a rib either, and it was definitely yummy.
She licked her fingers clean one by one—because, really, a napkin never worked—and looked up to find Dane’s eyes on her from his perch on the edge of the picnic table by the grill. He raised an eyebrow. She raised one back at him. Then he held up a margarita glass, tipping it side to side, asking if she wanted another. She shook her head. When he held up a plate with a hot dog, she shook her head again. He shrugged and took a big bite, closing his eyes and making faces as if it were the absolute best thing ever. She laughed.
They could say so much without a single word.
Ava’s voice tore her away from Dane’s antics. “I’m so happy for all of you,” Ava gushed, her hands outstretched, her empty plate now on the table beside her.
She was always enthusiastic, her gestures expansive. Cammie could see her confidently taking charge of a boardroom full of men just as easily as she wore the eye-catching royal blue one-piece that wowed unattached men. Today, she’d pulled the waves of her thick hair, the color of dark cherries, high on her head in case she decided to swim.
“But I’m not jealous,” Ava said airily, a glitter in her amber eyes. “I wrote off relationships a long time ago.”
Engrossed in watching Dane, Cammie must have missed a major part of the conversation, because she had no idea how it had reached this point.
Harper, leaning forward with curiosity, asked Ava, “So you’re not looking for love?”
As she shook her head, Ava’s hair glinted in the sun. “It’s worked out so well for you all. I mean, look at your guys.” She waved a hand at the male tableau zealously manning the barbecue as more meat sputtered and spat. “They’re a dazzling bunch.” Then she smiled gently with either sadness or relief. “But love has never worked out for me. I didn’t make good choices in men.” She shuddered dramatically. “So I’m done. And I’m totally okay with that.”
Though Cammie had known Ava Harrington for twelve years, they’d never shared confidences about relationships. And Cammie had only a couple of past relationships that were serious enough to even talk about. She had no clue about Ava’s bad choices. But she did wonder if Ava was protesting a little too much, as though she wasn’t as okay with it as she said.
But the ladies really got into the discussion. “Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “Men can totally suck.” She looked at Sebastian, though he obviously didn’t suck at all.
Ari laughed. “And we certainly don’t want you to think that everything was a bed of roses with this lot.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder at the barbecue crowd.
Cammie longed to hear their stories. She wanted so much to know them better.
“I mean it,” Ari insisted. “Matt was so overprotective of Noah that he watched me like a hawk in case I did anything wrong.”
Tasha rolled her eyes. “And they’re all so bossy.”
“You should have been there when Daniel tried to knock Cal’s block off after he found out we were dating.” Lyssa heaved a huge sigh in Daniel’s direction.
Rosie added dryly, “I believe there was something about Daniel also finding out you were going to have Cal’s baby…?”
Lyssa flapped her hand casually in the air. “Okay, there was that.”
“I had to whack some sense into Daniel for that one,” Tasha revealed with a disgusted shake of her head. “He couldn’t accept you were a grown woman and not just his little sister anymore.”
“I’ve got you all beat,” Paige said, her smile almost smug. “Because Evan was married to my sister. I think you’ll all agree it was a total disaster for both of them.”
“I hate to speak ill of anyone,” Harper said, spreading her fingers. “But your sister…” She left it hanging, and all the women seemed to know exactly what she hadn’t said.
There must be a heck of a story there, but Cammie wasn’t comfortable enough to ask.
“But look at you two now.” Rosie’s dark eyes twinkled. “Two adorable babies. And everything worked out beautifully.”
Paige looked at her husband with the other Mavericks. “Yeah,” she said with a tender smile. “It’s all worked out so perfectly.”
Even after hearing their stories, Ava crossed her legs on the lounge chair, her arms folded over her chest, a smile that could have been a grimace on her face. “But you all picked men with potential. While my decision-making has been extraordinarily bad.”
Cammie hoped she’d go on. Ava had been so good to her. Maybe Cammie could help her by being a good listener. Except that she might be required to reveal her own secrets… and her mistakes took the cake. She could only imagine the look on Ava’s face—on all the women’s faces—if she were to say, My biggest mistake was a one-night stand with your brother right before my job interview with him. It wouldn’t matter to them that she hadn’t known who he was when she’d slept with him. In fact, that might be worse.
Closing her eyes for the briefest moment, she could almost feel his touch on her skin, the softness of his hair beneath her fingers, the caress of his lips on her throat, her breasts, her belly. Everywhere.
Lord, that night had been the absolute best. Even if it was a total screwup.
But Dane wasn’t her only screwup. She’d made two other extremely bad choices, far worse than what she’d done with Dane, and like Ava, she was never letting that happen again. Though Dane was the only worthwhile one in the bunch, she’d had to let him go for Uncle Lochlan’s sake. The job with Dane was her and Uncle Lochlan’s lifeline. As glorious as that night with Dane had been, as incredible as the memories still were, she would never have sacrificed Uncle Lochlan’s well-being.
Besides, both she and Dane had dated other people. Clearly, if they were meant to be, they’d never have dated anyone at all. And since she’d fallen for another guy as hard as she had, even after Dane, he couldn’t be the one. No, she simply sucked at picking men, as badly as Ava claimed she did. Sometimes you just aren’t enough for the man you yearn for, and it never turns out the way you hope it will.
Ava kicked Gabby’s foot where she lay on her lounger. “What about you, darling sister? You’re awfully quiet there.” Ava gave her a dastardly smile. “Let’s hear all your secrets.”
Gabby smiled and drew her thumb and forefinger across her lips, zipping them shut.
Which made all the ladies laugh.
Kelsey swayed back and forth, Savannah sighing sweetly in her arms. “Oh my gosh, I think she’s smiling.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just gas,” Paige said dryly.
“Then I guess that means I need another margarita,” Kelsey said with a laugh, handing Savannah to Cammie.
For a moment, she felt paralyzed. Gideon wandered over, Keegan in his arms, and brushed a kiss against Rosie’s ear. Matt came with him, standing behind Ari’s chair, his hand on her shoulder, her hair, her arm.
Evan arrived right behind them. “Like, would it be possible to hold one of my kids for a minute?”
Kelsey, who hadn’t yet left for her margarita refresh, said, “No, you can’t. Stop asking and go away.” With so many Mavericks around, the joke was that Paige and Evan never got to hold their own children.
Chucking Savannah under the chin, Kelsey grinned up at her older brother. “Don’t you think they look just like Tony and me?”
Holding Savannah, Cammie couldn’t see any resemblance at all. But then, she couldn’t see Evan or Paige in the babies either.
Kelsey threw an arm around Evan’s shoulders. “Come on, big brother, you can get me a margarita.”
With Savannah in her arms, Cammie couldn’t seem to let go, couldn’t pass the baby on to Tasha beside her. She’d never thought about being a mother. Her whole life had been consumed by Uncle Lochlan and her job. And Dane.
He’d joined the kids on the grass, where Rex was getting bossy with the big dogs. Picking up a soccer ball, Dane spun it on his finger, enticing Jorge and Noah into learning how to play soccer.
Gideon handed Keegan off to Rosie. “I’d better get over there and teach Jorge how to play the game. Or he’ll just learn the Harrington way.”
Ava shot him with a finger gun. “You wish.”
Gabby laughed. “Maybe Ava and I need to show them how to do things the right way.”
Matt held up his fingers in the sign of the cross. “Hell, no. We’re not letting you two near them.”
With a snort, Ava said, “You’re just afraid they’ll learn so many hot moves they’ll start beating you.”
Matt grabbed Evan’s arm. “We need to take charge.”
And the whole troop of Mavericks descended upon the field.
“They’ll never get over it.” Charlie laughed. “Almost getting beat down by two women.”
All the ladies laughed knowingly.
Bob headed out to the grass, too, and Susan called, “Just be careful of your back, Bob. And wear your sunscreen.”
Holding the sweet-smelling Savannah in her arms, Cammie watched as the men played with the boys.
Dane hunkered down to their level, explaining something about the game, the two boys listening avidly. Then he stood, dribbled the ball between his feet. Even from her lounger by the pool, Cammie heard Jorge say, “Let me try,” closely followed by Noah’s, “Me too. I want to pass the ball to Jorge.”
“They’re both so lovable.” Gabby pulled her silky blond hair on top of her head, holding it there for a moment to cool off her neck.
Both Rosie and Ari smiled.
But Cammie thought the truly lovable one was Dane.
He played with the boys, the Mavericks joining in, all of them just a bunch of big kids. Sometimes he stood on the sidelines, gabbing with one or two of the guys. He was so natural with everyone. Then they’d all rush back into the fray.
Savannah made a sound, and as Cammie looked down, she was sure that was a smile, not just gas. The baby was so tiny and so beautiful. She smelled like sweet milk and baby wash. Something clenched deep inside her, and a barely discernible need began to grow. It wasn’t just about the baby. It was more. It was this life she saw before her, a life that all these Mavericks had. Love, camaraderie, the ability to share all this love with one another.
Without thinking, she raised her gaze to Dane. All the guys were getting in their two cents, teaching Jorge and Noah this move and that play. But it was Dane the two boys looked to, Dane they listened to, perhaps because he was the new man in their sphere. He taught them with patience, gave them his undivided attention. As though he were a father.
He was so good with animals, babies, and small children.
And she wanted that. Maybe because she was alone now, because she’d lost Uncle Lochlan, because he no longer needed her, she had a sudden vision of a future she’d never before imagined. The truth was, she wanted the Maverick life. She wanted marriage and love and babies.
God help her, she wanted that life with Dane.
Breathing in the sweet baby scent, she wondered if she’d been lying to herself. She’d tried to be with other men. She’d even found a special man and told herself he was the one. But maybe that was just another lie she’d made up. Maybe it was the only way she could keep her hands off Dane. And keep her heart safe.
Dane raced down the field with the boys, shouting encouragement, clapping his hands, urging them on.
The Mavericks were out there, but all she saw was Dane. It didn’t matter that she could never have him. It didn’t matter that she sustained herself with memories of their one night, of his kiss, his taste, his touch. It didn’t matter that she sucked at choosing men, same as Ava. She knew all the reasons she and Dane couldn’t be together.
And it was twelve years too late anyway. Whatever happened that night was so far in the past that, in Dane’s mind, it could be only a distant memory. She couldn’t risk losing the life she’d made for herself. She couldn’t risk another change after losing Uncle Lochlan. She couldn’t risk the possibility of losing Dane as her best friend. That’s what he was—her very best friend in all the world now that her uncle was gone. Even as she craved the lives of these wonderful Maverick ladies, she couldn’t risk losing what she already had.
It was safer to stay where she was, with the perfect working relationship, the perfect friendship.
All she could do was watch Dane on the grass with the boys. All she could let herself have were memories of his kiss, of his hands trailing her skin, of his male scent filling her head, and his body filling her up. That would have to sustain her.
But as she held the darling baby in her arms, as she bent to kiss the sweetly scented skin, she simply could not stop her gaze from drifting to Dane once more. He seemed to be having the time of his life with the two boys, and fear curled in her belly. Fear of the day when he realized how much he wanted to be a father. Fear of the day he’d go in search of the perfect woman to be the mother of his children. Fear that woman could never be her.
It all hit her in a single sucker punch—the baby in her arms, Dane doing fatherly things with two little boys, the memories of their one night, the loss of what might have been. If she’d been alone, she’d have curled into a tight ball, terrified of her future.
Instead, she stood too fast, feeling a wave of dizziness, suddenly afraid for the child she held. Pasting a ridiculously cheerful smile on her face that felt like a caricature of her real self, she thrust the child at Paige. “You should get to hold your baby too. We’ve been monopolizing the twins.”
Paige took Savannah happily as all the women gathered round, smiling and clueless as to why Cammie had to surrender the tiny pink bundle. Paige kissed her child’s smooth cheek, closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply of that sweet baby scent.
It was almost Cammie’s undoing. She didn’t dare cast another glance in Dane’s direction. All she could do was run for the house, where she could hide inside, take deep breaths—or scream and cry—until she found herself again.