It was like believing she’d been awake all along, only to realize she’d sleepwalked through her entire life.
He ran his mouth over her thighs, kissed her hot skin, worked his way up her body until he held her in his arms, kissed her. It was like a communion, his taste and her taste mingled, creating a whole new flavor she’d never before known.
“I thought I remembered how good it was,” she whispered, looking up into his beautiful blues. “But I never remembered it like that.”
He chuckled, stroking her hair back from her temple and cupping her cheek. “I’ve imagined it all a thousand times.” He dropped a kiss on the corner of her mouth. “And it’s never been this good.”
Her heart rolled in her chest, upside down and right side up again. He was still there, still holding her, still gazing at her with what she told herself could only be love. Even if he hadn’t said the word. He would—one day, he would.
She trailed her hand down his chest. He’d been shirtless when she knocked on his door, and she followed the arrow of dark hair down to the waistband of his sweats. “You have on way too many clothes. And I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”
He gave her the Harrington lady-killer smile. This time, it was all for her. She wouldn’t think about how it had been for anyone else, ever.
He stood, grinning. “I can remedy that ASAP.” He stripped, the soft sweats sliding down his legs until he stepped out of them.
She could only breathe out a simple exclamation. “Oh my.”
Of course she remembered how stunning he was. They swam in the Caribbean all the time, as well as his Pebble Beach pool. And there’d been the hot tub on his San Francisco terrace. But now the room’s lamplight painted his sculpted muscles with bronze, and his tight boxer briefs cupped him intimately. The way she wanted to cup him.
His male beauty stole the breath from her lungs, until she grew dizzy from lack of air. And from her need for him.
He circled a finger at her. “You’re still wearing polar bears.”
She laughed, and pushing herself up, she shimmied out of the pajama top. Then she sat on the edge of the mattress and tipped her head back to look at him. “Let me do the rest. I want to unwrap you like you’re the most precious gift I’ve ever received.”
Desire flickered in his eyes. No, need. Need was wholly different from desire. It was a flame that burned inside him, sparking an answering flame deep within her.
Reaching for him, she slipped her fingers inside the elastic of his briefs. Slowly, ever so slowly, she rolled the fabric down. First, it was just his crown. Her mouth watered. He was so hard. So ready. He could take her now. She wanted that.
But more than taking him inside her, she needed this.
Inch by inch, she revealed all his hard, male splendor begging for her touch, her lips, her tongue.
Could it be possible he was even bigger than she remembered? Maybe it was knowing each other so much better now. Inside and out. The emotion growing right along with the physical, making everything bigger, brighter, better.
The briefs fell to the floor, and he stepped out of them. She could have tasted him then, but she wrapped her hand around him, felt the weight of him, the thickness, the length.
His guttural rasp rolled down to her. “Please. Don’t tease me.”
She looked up into his burning gaze. “I am so done teasing.”
The last twelve years had been one long, agonizing, exquisite tease.
And now it was over.
She bent her head and wrapped her lips around his crown, sucking for a long moment, loving the gasp and groan that exploded from him.
He swore, and she loved that too.
For long, incredible moments, she licked him, tasted a drop of his essence, swallowed it, and wanted more.
Then she swallowed all of him, taking him deep.
Shoving his fingers through her hair, he swore and growled. “Please,” he begged.
For what? For her to finish him? For her to throw herself back on the bed and beg him to take her?
Memories of the last time were suddenly so clear to her. All she’d known after he’d taken her to the peak with his mouth had been the need to have him inside her. She hadn’t done this to him.
But now, she savored the taste of him, the feel of him between her lips, the tremble in his limbs, the tautness of his muscles. Gripping him in one hand, she squeezed his thigh with the other, her nails making small dents in his flesh.
If it was even possible, he grew bigger, harder, filling her mouth.
Until he pleaded, “Let me come inside you. I need that. I want that. I have to have it. Please. Cammie.” Then he swore again.
She let him slide from her lips, sucking hard one more time, and looked up at him.
Then Dane said the thing that could have made the moment fall completely apart. “If I know my butler, he’s left a necessary little packet somewhere around here for us.”
But she wouldn’t let the necessities ruin anything, and she stood then, went up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’m on the pill.” She didn’t explain it helped her cramps. “I don’t need the little packet if you don’t.”
He looked at her with eyes such a vivid blue she thought he could see all the way to her marrow. To her heart.
“I haven’t been on a date since you went on family leave,” he said. “I couldn’t. Not while you were dealing with everything. All I could think about was you. That’s why I called you on video chat all the time. So there’s been no one else for so long. I want to feel all of you. And I want you to feel all of me.”
Her heart burst wide open. She hadn’t wanted to think he’d been out there dating nameless, faceless women while she’d sat by her uncle’s bedside. And she’d savored every one of those nightly video chats.
“Then don’t make me wait another second,” she whispered against his lips.
He twisted then and fell back on the bed with her on top, his skin caressing her from breast to thigh.
“I feel like I’ve done this a thousand times,” she told him. “Every night in my dreams.”
He tangled his fingers in her hair. “In my dreams, it was just me inside you and nothing between us.” Then he pulled her down for his kiss, that unique combined taste—him, her—filling her up.
She wanted to taste it for the rest of her life.
He let her go, whispering, “Take me. All of me. Please.”
Looking into the ocean-blue depths of his eyes, into the flames burning there, she felt as if the words meant so much more than just the physical. They offered up his heart and his soul too.
And she took him.
* * *
She came down on him, taking him deep. And he felt as though she was the home he’d always longed for.
He groaned as she threw her head back, letting out a long, low moan of need and pleasure.
Then she leaned forward, bracing her hands on the bed, her lips only inches from his, her hair falling over him, her breath sweetly bathing him. “I want slow. Real slow. Until I need it fast.”
“Take me any way you want me.”
He wondered if he’d always been the one to take, if he’d never given. Except that one night with her. How could he have been so blind? But maybe that was why this joining was so precious. Because it had taken so long to get here. Because he’d dreamed away the last twelve years.
And now she was real. This was real.
The short glide she performed on him was enough to drive him completely out of his mind. He wanted his hands on her hips, wanted to slam into her, to roll her beneath him and thrust so deep they both saw stars.
Yet, even more, he needed whatever way she chose.
As she rolled her hips on him, she moaned, her eyes drifting closed as she lost herself in the pleasure. The slow ride was exactly what her body craved. She tensed around him, released, again and again. And threatened to blow off the top of his skull.
“That is so good,” she said in a voice he’d only ever heard once, that night, in the throes of her passion.
He wanted to hear that voice forever.
Eyes closed, she whimpered, chanted, “Oh, oh, oh.”
His gut knew what would make this even better. Reaching between them, he put his finger on the tight button between her legs. And he stroked her.
The chanting stopped, taken over by groans of exquisite pleasure and of her desire for him. Only him. He knew it, felt it in every clamp of her body around him.
Her legs began to quiver, and her arms, supporting her on the bed, trembled. Her eyes scrunched closed, and her breath fell in sharp gasps from her lips.
He remembered those sounds. He’d heard them every night for twelve years. And he remembered how excruciatingly good that night had felt. Yet now, with all his senses heightened, he felt every vibration of her body, her tension rising, dragging him with her. His own blastoff was so close, it took every ounce of willpower to hold off, to wait for her. This was altogether different from before, so much more—the slip-slide of her against him, on him, the way she gripped him so tightly, the way she lost herself in ecstasy.
She bowed her head, puffed out her breath, fast, harsh. Then she cried out as her body clamped down on him. He felt her orgasm as if it were his own. With barely a rational thought, he rolled her to her back, pulled her legs up around his waist, and pounded into her. Her whole body vibrated, her beautiful rose-gold hair flying across her face, her mouth open, gasping out her satisfaction in two words. “Don’t stop.” Then three more. “Please don’t stop.”
He couldn’t have stopped even if the world were ending around them. He took them both to a place they’d only glimpsed the last time. And prayed they would stay there forever.
* * *
Her words came out part laughter, part tears. “That was…” She couldn’t complete the thought.
He finished it for her. “Exquisite.”
She nodded. “Yes. That’s it. Exquisite. Stunning.”
“Life-altering. Mind-blowing.”
“Out of this world.”
“Freaking unbelievable.”
They laughed together. She rolled her head to meet his gaze as she lay curled against him. “Are you trying to outdo me with words?”
He shook his head, grinned. “I could never outdo you, sweet lady. You drive me crazy.”
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “Is that a good drive-me-crazy or a bad drive-me-crazy?”
He rolled on top of her. “It’s the most amazing crazy I’ve ever felt in my life.” He kissed her quick, even though she wanted him to linger. “And I only want it to get crazier.”
Then he rolled off and strolled into the bathroom, his butt muscles rippling.
He was so beautiful. So perfect.
She crawled to the bottom of the bed, searched for her panties, and was stepping into them when he returned. “Come on, Lord Lazybones. I’m starving.”
He grinned like a naughty kid. “Me too, Lady Lazybones.”
She loved the banter. She loved being lady to his lord. They dressed, then ran down the stairs hand in hand, giggling like children.
The kitchen was state of the art, yet it still had a touch of the old, with the range built into the ancient hearth and the refrigerator designed to look like an old-fashioned icebox. Sitting on stools at the granite counter opposite the sink, they finished the rest of the roast beef, Dane feeding Rex the tidbits Fernsby would yell about.
Narrowing his eyes, Dane said, “I’m still hungry.”
She found a Sainsbury’s packaged fish pie in the freezer and heated it up in the microwave. Seated once again at the counter, she smiled. “I like eating junk food sometimes. It’s so deliciously salty.”
He grinned. “I agree, but you still taste better.” And he pulled her off the stool, angling her to stand between his legs.
Kissing her, he slid his hands beneath her pajama top, cupping her breasts, tweaking the tips until she groaned. Then he slipped into her waistband and palmed her bottom. Not to be outdone, she glided inside his sweats, pulling on him to stand up long enough for her to slide them down to his ankles.
“Get on the counter,” she demanded.
He happily agreed while she sat on the stool between his legs. She made love to him with her mouth until he begged her to stop. Then he hauled her up on the counter and spread her thighs, thrusting between her legs and touching her in every perfect spot until she was the one who screamed.
And of course, they couldn’t let it end there.
* * *
Dane couldn’t count how many times they made love in the night. He held her close, waking up hard and ready against her backside. Lifting her leg over his thigh, his fingers deep inside her, he played her for long moments until she cried out, shattering. Then he entered her, taking her hard and sweet. And the taking was mutual.
Waking to bright morning sun breaking through the slit in the curtains, he wanted nothing more than to stay there with her forever.
Except that she wasn’t in the bed.
It couldn’t have been a dream. Not like he’d been dreaming all these years.
He went in search of her and found her in the kitchen, where she’d already made coffee and toast.
Over the delicious aroma of rich coffee, he could smell her, that uniquely sweet and spicy scent that could only be Cammie.
And he wanted more of her, right there on the kitchen countertop where he’d had her last night.
* * *
Over slightly burnt toast, Dane said, “That was amazing.”
Cammie almost faltered. “It was awesome,” she agreed.
But why did everything have to look different in the morning light?
They drank coffee and ate their toast slathered with marmalade. She popped two more pieces into the toaster, one for each of them.
And he didn’t say it.
“Fernsby won’t return for a while. We should go back to bed. Or maybe take a shower.” He winked.
She stared at him for a long moment. And somehow managed to laugh. “We can’t let T. Rex miss his morning walk.”
He grinned. “Then after the walk.”
After last night, she’d expected him to say it. She wanted him to say it. And somehow it was like a knife stabbing straight through her heart when he didn’t say it.
Dane would never lie. And that was the problem. He wasn’t going to say anything he didn’t truly feel. He would be honest. He wanted her. He desired her. Maybe he even needed her. And yes, deep down, she thought he loved her.
But he couldn’t say it.
And didn’t that mean they were right back where they’d been before she’d knocked on his door last night? Right back where they’d been all along? With her wanting more than he could ever give?
* * *
Okay. He could handle this. He wanted to go back to bed and make love to her all over again. Make her scream all over again.
But she wanted to take the dog for a walk.
All right. He could deal with that. He wouldn’t pressure her. Especially after last night. He couldn’t push her and ask if what they’d done last night meant as much to her as it did to him. Last night, she’d said he was the missing piece to her puzzle. He’d taken that to mean so much.
But maybe it hadn’t meant as much as he wanted.
That was okay. He’d give her time. He wouldn’t push. He wouldn’t make her run away. And tonight he’d take her to bed again and show her over and over how much she meant to him.
But that would be tonight. For now, he said, “You know, we really need to hire an assistant for you. With you being in charge of the new project, we’re going to need more help. I’ll start looking for someone.”
He couldn’t read her expression. It was suddenly flat, not a single indication of what she was thinking.
Then she smirked. “Oh, no. I’m choosing my own replacement.”
She put both hands on the counter and levered off the stool. “I’ll take a shower and get dressed. Then I’ll take Rex for a walk before we get to work.”
Just like that, in the space of a moment where he hesitated about what to say, she was gone. He watched the empty doorway through which she’d disappeared.
Mentioning the assistant had been his way of giving her time. And letting her know she was his equal. It hadn’t been a way to avoid talking about his feelings.
But she was running away. Even though he could swear he hadn’t pushed her. But maybe he’d pushed over dinner, telling her the next move had to be hers. Setting up an expectation. And she had made her move. Except that this morning, she regretted it.
That day after the Maverick meeting when he’d thought she’d been about to quit on him was the closest to a heart attack he’d ever come.
Don’t push too hard, don’t ask too soon, just play it low-key.
All he could do now was wait and see. Even if the wait might kill him.