My muscles shook, a full-body spasm that clattered the chains. I lay on the mattress, legs squeezed together, arms folded around my torso, as sweat gathered beneath the layers of wrapped cotton.
The heavy thump of Dr. Jaffer’s bag dropping on the cement floor echoed my heartbeat. As he opened it, the sound of the zipper scraped down my spine. The lingering look he gave my chest, his kneeling position at my feet, his hands resting on my ankles, every movement promised certain hell.
The removal of the IUD alone would be painful. Worse would be the rape that followed. To go through that again, while the man I loved watched helplessly, would be like reliving the hell in my father’s basement all over again.
With my feet unrestrained, I could land a hard-hitting kick to his temple and knock him out. Maybe he would be less inclined to touch me when he woke. But I couldn’t. Michio had been kept in the room for a reason, and I’d promised him I wouldn’t make the Drone use him as an enforcer again. I was going to have to find another way out of this.
I looked around the room, taking in the blank-faced men along the wall. Six more obstacles.
“This is rape.” I glared at Dr. Jaffer, my voice strained. “There’s no going back from it. Once a rapist, always a rapist.”
Digging through his bag, he paused to flash me an oh-it-won’t-be-so-bad smile. My foot twitched to break his pearly-white human teeth.
The overhead light cast a pukey glow across his mahogany-brown complexion and round facial features. In his thirties, he was lean and average-looking with dark eyelids, thick eyebrows, and a shadow of stubble above his lips. If he grew out his black hair, he could’ve been the Drone’s twin.
I angled my neck to see around him, trying to find the Drone’s gaze. “Are you two related?”
“No.” The Drone leaned sideways until those sinister eyes filled my view. “But the resemblance is deliberate. The child will be of my venom not of my blood, but our likeness in heritage and features will serve as a visual reminder that I am the father.”
My insides writhed with hatred. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the monster. But I couldn’t escape my surroundings, couldn’t slip away from the restraints, the stale air, and the hopelessness. All of it reminded me I was going to die in this dam, that Michio would be given to Elaine, that I would never see Jesse and Roark again, and that my child would be raised by a madman.
It took Dr. Jaffer forever to collect his tools from his bag, but forever wasn’t long enough. When his cold fingers dragged the cotton skirt up my legs, my eyes snapped open. He forcibly ruched the material around my hips, and I squeezed my knees tighter, my breaths wheezing out of control.
My soon-to-be rapist shoved a wedge beneath my hips and gripped my thighs. “Open your legs, Ms. Delina.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. My ribs compressed, restricting my lungs.
Michio stepped away from the wall, arms hanging at his sides, but they wouldn’t remain there for long if I fought this.
I wanted to die, yet I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t do anything but lay here while Dr. Rapey shoved his hand inside me.
“Aiman!” I strained my neck to see the Drone. “Let Michio sit by me. The least you can do is let me hold his hand.”
Being separated would make this worse. Even if Michio couldn’t control the grip of his fingers, the linking of our hands might soothe both of us. And maybe, just maybe, I could free him through that connection. I held onto that idea because, dammit, I desperately needed to hold onto something.
When Michio knelt robotically at my side, I grabbed his fingers and laced them with mine, the four-foot chains allowing me to hold our hands against my stomach.
His ever-present hum caressed the underside of my skin, and slowly, my breaths evened out. I focused every thought on Michio as the doctor spread my legs and flicked on a penlight. I soundlessly spoke to Michio as the cold metal of the speculum stretched my entrance. You can fight this, Michio. Break his hold. Dig deep. I clenched the hell out of Michio’s hand as the doctor’s fingers invaded where I was open and vulnerable.
Each pinch and scrape along my inner walls ratcheted my pulse. Every second that passed felt like it would never end. By the time the doctor removed the speculum and leaned back, I’d squeezed Michio’s fingers so hard our knuckles were white.
“Her cervix is blue.” Dr. Jaffer looked over his shoulder at the Drone. “The uterus is swollen, and there’s no IUD.”
Shea said the string could hide during a vaginal exam. But what was wrong with my cervix and uterus? Was this guy even a doctor?
The Drone leapt from the stool and slammed against Michio, wrapping fingers around his throat, choking him.
I grabbed at the Drone’s hands, but they were iron claws around Michio’s neck, and all Michio could do was lay limply beneath the strangulation.
“Shut up!” He shouted at Michio, his sagging face livid red, his lips curling back to expose the razored points of his rage. “If you don’t calm down, I will put you back in Elaine’s bed and leave you there for the rest of your miserable life.”
“You’re choking him.” I pried at the Drone’s fingers as panic flooded me. “Let him go!”
Why the fuck was the Drone attacking him? And these threats about Elaine were tearing my insides apart. The Drone wouldn’t even have to chain him to her bed. The motherfucker could control his body, make him touch her, pleasure her.
The Drone pulled back and rose to his feet, adjusting his cape as he glared at Michio. “That’s my decision, Dr. Nealy. Not yours.” After a pause, his eyes hardened. “Of course, he is. You’ve been thinking of nothing else for the past four months.”
My head swam as I listened to the one-sided conversation. Dr. Jaffer kept his eyes on his lap. The six spiders along the wall stared at jack shit like silent statues, empty men without opinions, because the Drone had reprogrammed their frontal lobes. The same thing he intended to do to my child.
My child.
“What is Michio saying?” I gathered his dead weight into my arms and settled his face on my chest, my fingers stroking through his hair. “Let him talk.”
The Drone ignored me, turning his attention to Dr. Jaffer. “I want an ultrasound.” His eyes flicked to Michio and returned to Dr. Jaffer. “Transvaginal.”
My breathing accelerated. The IUD was there. It would show up on the ultrasound, just like last time. Wouldn’t it?
Uncertainty hardened in a pit in my stomach. What if I was already pregnant?
My thoughts tangled, and my body shook maliciously. I was so fucking scared, but I felt something else, too. Something stronger, buzzing with energy and life and purpose. I couldn’t explain it, but all I could think was, This isn’t the end. It’s the beginning.
As Dr. Jaffer pulled the machine from the bag and plugged it in, the Drone paced beside us, arms crossed, tapping his lips with a long finger.
“It would be more efficient if you asked her those questions directly.” He glared down at Michio’s face, where he lay on my chest. “Just remember, I’m only keeping you alive for your knowledge. I can just as easily pull your thoughts while Elaine is bouncing on your dick.” He bent down and flashed his fangs. “The first whimpering, off-topic comment that leaves your mouth, you’re done.”
My arms banded tighter around Michio, my heart aching for him. How many times had the Drone threatened him with Elaine? How often had she raped him?
Blood overran my vision. I was going to kill her, slowly with my hands while they empurpled her flesh and snapped her bones, then brutally with my blades, bleeding her until her vicious poison drained from her eyes.
Michio’s jaw moved against my chest. “When did you first have sex with Jesse?”
My hackles went up. Not because of the question. I knew it would be the chief thought on his mind. It was his flat voice. The lack of inflection didn’t belong in this delicate conversation. He would be upset, seething with jealousy, and he couldn’t express himself. It wasn’t fair to him.
I tipped his face toward mine and kissed his forehead as I said to the Drone, “Give him control of his face. Or let me hear the pitch in his voice. He sounds like a fucking computer.”
“No,” the Drone snapped. “Answer the question.”
Goddammit. I would, only if Michio had asked it. “Is it his question or yours?”
“His. I’m allowing it because I want the answers.”
I held Michio’s strong jaw in my hand as I thought back to my first time with Jesse. Two weeks in the cage. Another two weeks traveling from Charlottesville. “Four weeks ago, give or take a few days.”
The Drone hissed, his grotesque features distorting around his fangs.
I pulled in a ragged breath, my gaze on Michio. “We used an ultrasound before we had sex, and the IUD was still in position.” I kissed the smooth skin between his brows, lingering there. “I’m so sorry you can’t show me how you feel. This is not how I wanted to tell you.”
His eyes stared off somewhere behind me. “Have you fucked anyone else?”
There it was. His voice sounded electronic, his demeanor benign, but the way he’d phrased the question conveyed his anger. He was showing me how he felt the only way he could.
“I’ve been with Roark.” My voice cracked, not with regret but with longing. “Only my guardians, Michio.” God, I missed them.
The Drone returned to the stool and perched on the edge. “The priest is sterile.” His eyes simmered with shadows. “If she’s pregnant, this is the prophesied child.”
The energy inside me swelled, spreading out and igniting my body.
Michio’s monotone droned against my chest. “Have you experienced any changes in your body?”
Could he feel the strange power rushing through me? Did he know about my ability to kill aphids with a thought?
No way would I mention these things in front of the Drone. “No.”
I wanted to covertly pinch Michio or give him some sign I was lying, but if he knew it was a lie, so would the Drone.
The Drone regarded me for an unnerving moment. “You walked out of a cage after two weeks of immobility.”
Wait till I blow up your pets, asshole. Not sure how that little trick would help me, but right now, it was the only ace I had.
Dr. Jaffer held up a skinny probe that attached to the ultrasound machine by a cord. “It’s ready.”
He pulled my legs open. I didn’t fight him and instead wrapped my shaky arms around Michio’s shoulders, my chest hitching beneath his head.
I felt a slight pressure between my legs. The machine chirped and beeped. The doctor studied the screen, and my breath stuck in my throat as I waited for him to speak.
“There’s definitely no IUD.”
“How?” My stomach buckled. “Where would it go?”
The Drone stood and strode over to the machine, crouching for a closer look, his expression as indecipherable as the screen.
Dr. Jaffer kept his eyes on the monitor, shifting the wand inside me. “They can fall out. It’s rare, but I’ve heard it could happen during urination. If you peed outside in the dark, you wouldn’t have noticed it.” He glanced at the Drone, back at the screen. “It’s difficult to tell at this stage, but given the size of the gestational sac, I estimate her at around four weeks pregnant.”
The world slammed to a crashing halt. A sharp burn lit behind my eyes, trailing fire down my throat, and swelling hard and powerful in my chest.
I was pregnant.
Jesse’s child.
My daughter.
The prophecy.
The doctor removed the probe, and I rolled against Michio’s body, shoving the skirt over my legs. I enveloped him in my arms, holding him as tightly as I could, imagining his agony, his fears, and his regrets, all of it centered on my prophesied death.
“Michio, it’s going to be okay.” I choked, aching to hear his voice. “It’s going to work out.”
This was supposed to happen, decided ahead of time. A fate that couldn’t be altered. I’d known about it, and deep down, I’d even believed this moment would come, but the shock of it and all the implications it brought curled my body into a trembling, conflicted mess.
The Drone spun toward us, the fire in his eyes aimed at Michio. “You do not have an opinion!” he roared. “That was your final warning.”
Michio twisted out of my arms. I tried to hold on, but he was an unstoppable machine, the sharp movements of his legs wrenching him to his feet, jerking him toward the door, into the hall, and out of view.
I crawled after him, straining against the shackles and digging my knees into the mattress. “What are you doing with him? Bring him back!”
The Drone stormed toward the door, pausing to watch Dr. Jaffer collect his bag and hurry out. Then the six spiders followed suit.
Standing in the doorway, the Drone turned his glare on me. “Michio will be in Elaine’s bed…indefinitely. I may not have control over his reflexes, but the body has a way of giving in to persistent stimulus. And Elaine is very persistent.”
I launched forward, my arms snapping behind me, as the shackles yanked me back. “That’s rape, you son of a bitch! Don’t do this! He doesn’t deserve this!”
“Rape.” The Drone licked his lips as if savoring the word. “Do you think you’ve dodged your own rape, Eveline?”
What? Would he send Dr. Jaffer back in for the man’s own enjoyment? He wasn’t that charitable with his employees. Every action served his purpose.
He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. “I could bite you now and make that fetus my own. Or I could dispose of it in any number of ways and resume where we left off with Dr. Jaffer.”
I sank back into the mattress, my arms winding protectively around my belly, around the energy surging through me. What would happen to him if he bit me? Would the child hurt him? Or would he gain her power? I didn’t know, and by the look on his face, he didn’t either.
“I need to think.” He swept out and slammed the door.
My heart hammered away the minutes as I waited. Minutes pulsed into hours, and hours became days. Eventually I lost track of time, locked within four walls, isolated inside myself, like Michio.
Every day, the Drone’s spiders fed me rice and unrecognizable meat and swapped out the shit bucket. No more toilets. No more showers. No change of clothes. The shackles never came off my wrists. I wasn’t allowed out of the room.
And Michio never returned.
I spent days stumbling through my thoughts, staring at my flat belly, and agonizing over people. People I wanted to kill. People I wanted to meet. People I missed with the entirety of my being.
Jesse and Roark. I was desperate to tell them I was pregnant, and my stomach ached and festered at the possibility they might never find out.
Michio. I trembled and raged, thinking about what Elaine was doing to him. I didn’t know how to reach him, didn’t know what I could do to take his pain away.
Annie and Aaron. Sometimes I dreamed of them holding their new baby sister, and it filled me with the sweetest, most harrowing ache. I couldn’t bear how much I missed them and wasn’t sure I would survive those lonely moments of longing. I just wanted to hold them so tightly, but they weren’t here…they weren’t here…
Joel. He’d told me to listen to the song. To love again. I was so grateful I had, but I hoped, wherever he was, that he knew I would never stop loving him.
The Drone. His presence was a constant pulse in my gut. I could feel him moving around the dam, his oily aura rioting my nerves and swelling my throat with dread. Would he bite me? Would he find some horrible method of abortion? How long would it take him to decide?
Me. A mother again. I was overwhelmed beyond all reason. Stunned, terrified, and so fucking overjoyed. The longer I lay there, imagining what she would look like, laugh like, fight like, the more attached to her I became. Even as I knew I wouldn’t live long enough to experience any of those things.
My daughter. She was the power buzzing inside me. Her existence changed everything. For my guardians. For the Drone. For the world.
My ribcage felt too weak to contain everything I felt. There were moments when I thought it would burst open, and all of my darkest thoughts and most hopeful dreams would explode in a terrible, beautiful wail of tears.
But that didn’t happen. So I thought about blowing up the aphids. It would cause a frenzy in the dam and the Drone would come. I was tempted. Fucking hell, I was tempted to end this godawful waiting, this not knowing, this mind-fucking game the Drone had forced upon me.
If I killed all the aphids now, though, how would that help me? The Drone could not only block my ability to control his pets, he could sense whenever I tried. He and I and the aphids, we were all connected by invisible threads. If I plucked those threads and signaled the aphids while the Drone was nearby, it would alert him as well.
I needed him distracted when I attempted it. I needed to do it as a way to magnify that distraction. But how and when would that happen?
It was in one of those moments of deliberation, when the door to the hall opened. I expected the spiders, a clean bucket, and a bowl of rice.
But it was Michio. A thinner Michio, with dark circles beneath his eyes and a bundle of rope dangling from his hand.