COYOTE WAS GOING ALONG by a big river when he got very hungry. He built a trap of poplar poles and willow branches and set it in the water. “Salmon!” he called out. “Come into this trap.” Soon a big salmon came along and swam into the chute of the trap and then flopped himself out on the bank where Coyote clubbed him to death.
“I will find a nice place in the shade and broil this up,” thought Coyote. He went back under some cottonwoods and made a fire and put the salmon on to broil while he took a nap.
While he was sleeping some egg hunters came along.
“Look at Coyote sleeping over there,” said Raccoon.
“Hey, look at that big fish he is cooking,” said Fox.
“Let’s eat Coyote’s salmon and broil up his anus in its place,” said Wolf.
They went up to where Coyote was sleeping.
“Coyote,” said Raccoon, “we are going to eat your salmon, all right?”
Coyote made no answer. Raccoon asked him four times. Finally Coyote made a sound in his sleep. “He says it’s all right,” said Raccoon. “He says go ahead and eat all we want.”
They ate the salmon up, every bit of it, and then they cut out Coyote’s anus and put it in the fire. Then they went behind some trees on a hill to watch.
After a while Coyote got up. He could smell the salmon cooking. He went down to the river to wash and get a drink before he started his meal. As he was coming back from the river he noticed that his salmon was gone and he ran up to the fire to see what had happened.
“This looks like something Fox would do,” thought Coyote. “It’s just like him to steal salmon. But he left this nice piece of meat behind and it might be all right.” Coyote took the piece of meat out of the fire. It was just the way he liked it, with lots of grease dripping off it. He began to eat it.
From behind the trees the egg hunters shouted out “Coyote! You are eating your own anus!”
Coyote jumped up. “What was that? I think they must have buried a person alive here once. His spirit is calling out to me.”
The egg hunters shouted down to him again, “Coyote, you are eating your own anus.”
Just at this moment an ant ran into the space between Coyote’s buttocks where his anus should have been. Coyote reached back to scratch but he found nothing there. “I have no anus,” he yelled out. Then he realized what had happened. He looked at the piece of meat in his hand. There was almost nothing left. He put the small piece of meat back in place but he had to walk around with his buttocks pinched together to hold it in there. He could hear some people laughing behind some trees and when they slipped off he saw who they were.
“I will follow them and take revenge for this awful thing.”
When the egg hunters had finished gathering their eggs, they brought them all down to the river where they dug a pit and built a fire in the bottom. They put stones in the fire to heat, and when the fire burned down to coals, they covered it with twigs and grass and put the eggs in. Then they covered the eggs with a layer of dirt and went to sleep.
Coyote, who had been watching from behind some bushes, walked into their camp and dug up the eggs and ate all but a few. They were delicious, he thought to himself, almost as good as salmon. He put one egg for each person back in the pit and covered them up. He mixed the last few eggs together and painted everyone’s face with the batter. When he came to Fox he shook his head. “You! I knew you’d be here. You are an awful person.”
When he was finished Coyote hid in some brush close by.
When the egg hunters awoke, they opened the pit and each one had one egg. “Done just right,” everyone said. But when they dug down in the grass and twigs they found only shells. Right away they began accusing each other, pointing to the egg batter on each other’s faces. Then they heard Coyote rolling around in the bushes laughing.
“Coyote has done this,” shouted Raccoon. Let’s chase him down.”
Coyote saw them coming. “Let them come after me,” he thought. “I am much too fast. They will just wear themselves out.” Coyote went off in a tremendous burst of speed. After a while everyone but Fox had given up the chase. When Coyote saw that only Fox was left, he stopped and waited for him.
“I knew you were in on this, Fox. It’s just like you.” Fox and Coyote sat down and laughed about what had happened. Then they got up and went off somewhere together. They were good friends.