BRIGHTON-BY-THE-SEA was a city renowned for summer holidays and family vacations. Winter was another story.
The train station was hollow and empty and cold. Lisa was relieved to see a heavyset man in his twenties standing on the quay holding up a hand-lettered sign with her name on it. He wore a neatly pressed dark blue uniform and matching cap.
“I’m Monty,” he said, offering his hand in a hearty English handshake. For a second Lisa thought he’d broken the bones in her fingers and shook them surreptitiously behind her.
He took her small suitcase and led her to an elegant black sedan. Driven to her English home by a chauffeur! If Mama could only see her now.
They drove through the brown countryside, its fallow fields neatly bordered by trees whose leafless branches stretched upward like inverted brooms. The sedan turned off the main road at a stone pillar. The sign read “Peacock Manor.” At the end of a long driveway was a massive country estate house—three stories tall, with turrets decorating the left and right corners. It looked every bit like a castle from her daydreams.
Monty pulled the sedan through the elegant porte cochere and continued around to the servants entrance at the back. The cook, three maids, and a butler came out to meet her. “Welcome to Peacock Manor,” said a lady with a no-nonsense air about her. “I’m Gladys, this here’s Lola, and this is Betsy, and this is Carrie. And this fine man is Mr. Piedmont, our butler. You’ll meet the rest of us later; come in and take a hot bath and we’ll get you some tea.”
As Lisa struggled to say something polite, Gladys added, “We’ve heard all about you, so don’t you worry. We’ll take good care of you.”
Lisa felt conspicuous in her old wool coat, long dress, and leggings; she knew she must look shabby and that every eye was on her. She dusted herself off and tried to smile.
Gladys showed her to a small but cozy room in the servants wing and gave her a starched white maid’s uniform. When she was pronounced presentable, she was ushered through the vast, ornate foyer, past a dining room with a splendid chandelier, and down a long hallway whose walls were covered with oil paintings. Lisa swung her head quickly right and left, taking in the grandeur of it all.
She was shown into the study where her sponsor, Captain Richmond, and the butler were packing oil paints, easels, and half-finished canvases into cardboard boxes. The captain was a man in his sixties and sported two patches of white hair at the edges of a pink, bald head. A fragrant pipe hung from his mouth.
“So there you are, missy.” He thrust out his hand. Lisa took it, preparing for the worst, but his handshake was mercifully gentle. “Good to have you here. You make sure Gladys treats you nicely!” He winked good-naturedly at the head maid.
“Thank you,” said Lisa.
“My wife looks forward to meeting you; she’s off gallivanting in Paris—back next week. Don’t mind this mess. I’m giving my painting studio over to the Home Guard; we’re certainly not hoping for a war, Chamberlain has my complete trust, but just in case . . . we had best be prepared.”
Lisa was so overwhelmed that she was grateful when Gladys handed her a feather duster and led her up the large staircase into the main hall. “I can’t be bothered explaining everything to you, so just follow along and keep your eyes open.”
Lisa quickly fell into the routine of the castle. She had a keen eye for the out-of-place article and the dust that gathered in corners, and by the end of the first week Gladys seemed duly impressed.
“You might just work out,” the head maid announced in front of the others at the servants dinner table.
“And coming from her tough hide, that’s a huge compliment,” laughed Monty. Gladys slapped Monty on the shoulder, and Lisa saw a sparkle in her eye. He leaned over and quickly planted a kiss on her cheek. It was a gesture that reminded her suddenly of her father and mother, and she was overwhelmed momentarily with memories; tears sprang to her eyes, so she apologized and excused herself.
That night Lisa wrote another letter to her parents. She described the elegant furnishings and grand surroundings, hoping her mother would be proud of her. She realized while writing how happy she was to be settled after weeks of uncertainty and vowed to be useful and cheerful at all times. She arose early, put on the crisp white uniform, and flipped up the starched collar in the back, trying for a more sophisticated look. By the time the sun came up, she was hard at work, scrubbing floors, fetching coal, and dusting endlessly. Often, her day was not over until well into the evening. She worked with only one purpose—to make the money her parents needed to send Sonia.
The next day she went on a tour, holding her duster aloft as an alibi. She dusted her way through bedrooms and hallways until she found what she was looking for: a piano. Any self-respecting castle like this would have one, she’d figured. It was located on the first floor, in the parlor off a guest bedroom, and was a solid baby grand. She cautiously opened the lid and ran her fingers lightly over the keys. It was out of tune, but at least the keys didn’t stick, so she began a simple nocturne. Loud footsteps clattered down the hall immediately and Gladys appeared at the door, out of breath and furious.
“And what might you be doing!”
“I, I—”
“The captain’s having his nap! If you wake him, there’ll be hell to pay.” She folded down the lid and pushed Lisa out of the room. “Now, go down to the basement and help sort through the onions. Lola needs help with the soup— and keep your hands off things that don’t belong to you.”
“But in Vienna, I played the piano!”
“Well, isn’t that marvelous,” Gladys said cuttingly. “Yes, it is marvelous,” Lisa retorted, walking down the hall and biting her tongue so as not to say: “If you only knew something about music, you’d know how marvelous it is!”
Lisa knew the captain’s wife had arrived from Paris when she heard the squeal of an infant echoing through the hallways. She was introduced to the twenty-five-year-old lady of the house, who wore a cream-colored Chanel suit and matching hat. Lisa was mesmerized by her elegance. She was given the added chore of “nanny’s assistant,” which involved washing the baby clothes, hanging them to dry, and folding them neatly in the bassinet drawers. Unfortunately, the job also involved washing the dirty diapers or, as she soon discovered, boiling them.
One day when she was tired, she looked up at the stacks of clean diapers and told herself that no one would miss it if she tossed a dirty one in the bin. This solution was so simple that every time there was an exceptional mess, she would toss out the offending diaper. There were hundreds more waiting on the shelf.
A while later Gladys greeted her with a smelly bag. “And what, might I ask, have we here?” Monty had found her secret in the trash and fished it out. “I’ve counted the diapers and there’s only a dozen left! You’ve been chucking them out, haven’t you?”
“No,” Lisa heard herself saying. She never lied, but she was fearful she’d be sent away. “No, I haven’t.” But for the rest of the day, Lisa had a terrible ache in her stomach. She was eaten up with guilt and fear and finally went to Gladys to confess. “Of course I knew you chucked ’em. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. The lady wants to see you upstairs.” Lisa didn’t move. “That would be now!” Gladys yelled, and Lisa ran upstairs.
She stood anxiously at the door to the grand bedroom and imagined the worst, but the lady of the house was laughing when she opened the door. “I suppose my husband would give you a lecture about thrift—he’s very proud of being thrifty. So I won’t tell him about the diapers, all right?”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Lisa said, and stared around the room at the clothes, the perfume bottles, and the satin-covered chairs.
“But I haven’t called you in here to talk about diapers. I want you to be my lady’s maid.”
Lisa’s mouth dropped.
“My maid is pregnant and she’s leaving. I’ll find someone else to wash the diapers. Tomorrow she’ll teach you all you need to know. Just don’t throw out my underwear!” She laughed loudly and waved three fingers quickly in a good-bye gesture, turning back to her cosmetics table.
Every Friday Lisa was paid her salary and she stashed it proudly in a well-fingered envelope in the nightstand where she kept her mother’s picture and her copy of “Clair de Lune.” On Saturday, Lisa would accompany Gladys and Monty to the village for supplies. They would pile in an old pickup—Gladys and Monty in the cab and Lisa in back; occasionally she would catch them stealing a kiss. Lisa enjoyed looking out at the wide expanse of the English countryside. It was a welcome break from the routine.
One Saturday traffic came to a complete standstill. Lisa stuck her head out around the cab of the truck: The road was filled with a long green convoy of British army trucks and tanks, crawling like a centipede. She hadn’t seen tanks since Hitler’s army had moved into Vienna over a year ago. “Are we at war?” she asked breathlessly.
“Just getting ready in case, luv,” Gladys replied, then looked over at Monty’s fascinated gaze, which followed the convoy. “Don’t be getting any ideas, Monty!”
While the others shopped for groceries, Lisa wandered the high street. In the window of a secondhand shop, she saw an old red bicycle. She’d never had a bicycle; in Vienna they were important things for adults, not play toys for children. She had dreamed of the day when she would be older and could get one. She stared at the wheels— wheels that could take people to places they wanted to go someday. A honking horn disturbed her reverie, and she looked up to find Monty beckoning to her. She climbed back into the truck to return to Peacock Manor.
On special evenings, the staff cranked up the old Victrola and sang along to recordings of “Daisy, Daisy” or “Under the Spreading Chestnut Tree.” The simple, melancholy tunes lingered in her head and she wished she could try them out on a piano. Sometimes she would hum “Clair de Lune” and picture the moonlight glistening off the Danube. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could picture her mother and father, with Sonia and Rosie, walking along its banks. But each time she opened her eyes Vienna would fade more and more into the distance.
Lisa thrived as the lady’s maid. She carefully inspected skirts for torn hems, scoured blouses for missing buttons, and sewed in drooping shoulder pads without being asked. The lady of the house soon felt comfortable with Lisa’s choices of purses to match her shoes and joked that Lisa had a better sense of style than her!
Once, Lisa got up her nerve to show the lady a new-style shoe in the fashion magazine.
“You’ve been stealing my magazines?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.
Lisa looked stricken.
“I’m just kidding, Lisa, you don’t have to take things so seriously all the time.”
But Lisa did take everything seriously. She had to. Anxious weeks went by with no return letters from her family. One day Monty handed her a beat-up blue airmail letter with a German stamp. She was overjoyed to see that the address on the letter was 13 Franzenbrückestrasse; it was postmarked a month earlier. The letter was short; her mother said simply: “Make us proud of you; we miss you every day.” Monty put his arm around her when the tears came.
After dinner the staff would gather around the wireless and listen to the BBC broadcast. The news from Europe was disquieting. It had been almost a year since Hitler had annexed Austria and six months since he had taken over Sudetenland. In the three months since Lisa had been in England, she had heard nothing to ease her worry.
Lisa was tidying up the new office of the Home Guard (which had taken over the billiards room) when she heard loud voices coming from the captain’s study next door.
“I told you this is what it would come to!” a man’s voice shouted.
“What were we supposed to do!”
“Stop the bastard, that’s what.”
“It has nothing to do with us!”
When the voices quieted, Lisa could hear the frightening voice that made her shiver with fear. The voice of the Führer echoed through the manor house: “Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer!”
She walked closer to the room where the men were gathered and stood in the hall listening, terrified by the voice of the man she so hated.
The captain was shouting. “Can you believe that madman has just marched into Czechoslovakia without a shot being fired?”
He walked into the hall, waving his arms in disgust, and caught sight of Lisa. “Aha! Come here, we need you.”
He took her arm gently and led her into the room, where five uniformed men were scattered on chairs in front of the radio.
“What is this maniac saying now?” he asked. “Ausrottung, es ist nichts unmöglich!” came the bone-chilling voice of Hitler.
“Extermination . . . nothing is impossible,” Lisa translated slowly, growing more upset with each word.
An officer, seeing her distress, exclaimed: “Have a heart, don’t make the poor girl listen to this.”
“All right, dear, that’s enough. Thank you,” the Captain said.
A young girl shouldn’t hear it? Lisa asked herself. I have lived it, I have seen it! She thought of Kristallnacht and saw her father on the ground, naked and humiliated, an image she could not erase from her mind. Suddenly, she was overwhelmed with a desire to be with others like her. Yes, Monty was friendly, Gladys meant well, and the lady was kind, too; she had enough to eat and she was safe; it should be enough, she told herself, but it wasn’t.
It was hard to get back to the routine of her job, but Lisa dutifully laid out the mistress’s outfits and matched the shoes to the purse and the skirt to the jacket. As always, the lady was very pleased.
“A wonderful choice, Lisa.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Lisa said. Her heart had been heavy with guilt. She needed to ask the most important question, and she’d been putting it off. “Madam? May I ask you something?”
“Certainly, what is it?”
“I have a sister in Vienna. She’s very sweet and she could work in the kitchen. We very much need someone to sponsor her so she can get on the kinder train, and if there’s any—”
The lady looked at her, interrupting. “How old is she?” “Twelve.”
The lady frowned.
“She’ll be thirteen in a week,” Lisa added, exaggerating. “I’d take care of her on my time off. She’d be no trouble, I promise. She’s very well behaved. . . .”
The lady gave her a sad smile. “I wish I could make these kinds of decisions on my own . . . but I promise I’ll ask my husband. You’ve got nerve, I like that.”
Sunday morning came and Gladys came into Lisa’s room as usual. “Are you certain I can’t coax you to church? There’s a lot of young boys there! Might be fun. It’d get you out of the house.”
“No, thank you,” Lisa said politely. She couldn’t imagine the idea of going to church. She listened to Gladys and Monty’s laughter echo through the hall, as they made their way out the kitchen door and into the pickup. She lay on her bed and listened to the wind rustling through the leaves out the window.
She missed her family so. Closing her eyes she pictured the ceramic tailor of Dresden on the sideboard of the living room and scanned the pictures on the wall in her mind’s eye. This was her ritual; she was determined not to forget a thing. She imagined she could hear her parents speaking in their native German—and missed their voices.
The wind reminded her of the last movement of the Chopin Sonata in B Minor. She got up and crept to the distant room where the piano was. She sat on the bench, lifted the lid, and put her fingers to the keys. Everyone was away, but still she was frightened—so she played the keys with silent strokes, not making a sound. Her fingers flew over the familiar patterns and for a moment she felt a great joy, connected to her music and to her family, even if it was only in her imagination. This was what her mother had begged her to do, so she played for her mother, and she played for herself, for the joy of it, until she could hear the sounds of the footsteps returning. Then she crept secretly back to her room.
The next day Lisa was polishing the two-toned open-toed pumps in the walk-in closet off the lady’s bedroom. The lady had seemed upset about many things—about the baby’s colic, about the Home Guard officers’ cigar smoke, about the perfume she had spilled—about the day in general. She called Lisa into the boudoir, where she was seated at the mirror.
“I’ve talked to the captain,” she said. “Unfortunately we won’t be able to take on another person . . . I’m sorry.”
The words fell heavily on Lisa and seemed to fall heavily on the lady as well. “You see, he’s given half the house to the government and he feels he’s done his duty.”
“Thank you for asking him,” Lisa said softly.
The woman kept powdering her face, and Lisa turned to go.
“Lisa? How old are you?” “I’ll be fifteen.”
“That’s a wonderful age. I wish I were fifteen again.” The woman’s voice was distant, unhappy. Lisa didn’t know how to respond. “When I was fifteen, I thought the world was my oyster. I thought I was going to make something of my life. . . .” She looked directly into Lisa’s eyes. “I’m sorry. . . .”
The lady’s voice trailed off. “Lay out my green jacket, would you?”
“Make something of yourself.” The phrase ran through Lisa’s mind as she ironed the jackets, pressed the skirts, and polished the shoes. Over and over came the calm voice of her mother—its gentle insistence invading her thoughts. Whom could she look to for guidance if not her mother?
That night she slept fitfully, tossing and turning as the summer rains beat down on the slanted roof close to her head. In the morning, she was awakened by a rap at the door.
“Are you coming or not, sleepyhead?” Gladys yelled. She dressed hurriedly, opened the drawer, and grabbed the envelope that held the money she had saved from her wages, stuffing it into her pocket.
The weekly trip to town didn’t have the same carefree air it normally did. Gladys and Monty seemed sad, sitting close to one another but saying nothing. Was it a lovers’ quarrel? Lisa had never had a boyfriend, and it seemed so mysterious. She watched Gladys lean her head on Monty’s huge shoulder; there were tears in her eyes.
Lisa helped Gladys pick through the parsnips and celery while Monty headed for the high street with a purposeful stride.
“You’re watching the last steps of a free man,” the head maid said, watching him go. “The big lout is signing up for the navy today.”
“The navy?” Lisa asked, filled with wonder.
“There’s a rumor that the mobilization is going to be announced any minute; he wanted to beat them to it.”
Lisa, filled with emotion, kept staring at Monty.
In an uncharacteristic gesture, Gladys put her arm around Lisa. “He’ll show those Germans, you’ll see . . . it’s going to be all right.” But Gladys started to cry. “I’m sorry, luv, look at this silly blubbering.”
They finished the shopping and Lisa carried the heavy vegetables to the truck.
“May I do an errand, ma’am?”
“Go ahead, of course you can.”
Lisa doubled back around the corner and found the secondhand shop. She summoned up all her courage and walked in.
“I want to buy the bicycle,” she said, trying as hard as she could to pronounce the “w” the way the English people did. She saw the curious expression of the shopkeeper and knew her accent was still dreadfully foreign.
“So, you must be that refugee we’ve heard about. My wife told me we had one of you nearby.”
“Yes,” Lisa said, feeling self-conscious.
“And you’re looking for a bicycle?”
“Yes . . . I have money.”
The man walked up to the bike that Lisa was pointing to and looked at the tag. “Four pound two shillings. Hmm, seems a bit pricey for what it is. How does two pound sound?” he asked with a wink.
Lisa fished in her envelope and handed two large coins to the man. She fought back a feeling of guilt; this was the money for Sonia! But she’d make more money soon, she promised herself.
“Can you keep it here until I come to get it?” “Whenever you need it, it’ll be here.”