FRANK SULLIVAN
It may be argued, and with some reason,
That we could skip this Christmas season,
There being no great cause for mirth
And precious little peace on earth.
Not me. I’m sorry, but I’ll keep Yule
With any kindred spirit who’ll
Accompany me in a Christmas caper,
So how’s about it, Muriel Draper?
I’ll keep Christmas until hell freezes
With Joan Blondell and Royal Cortissoz,
Franchot Tone and Justice Stone,
And Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Cohn;
With Howard, Ruth, and Peter Moody,
Surrogate George O. Tuck and Trudy,
Morris Bishop, Sam Byrd,
Donald Duck and Mortimer Snerd.
Though Bethlehem’s star’s eclipsed by Mars,
My glass is clinking with Bert Lahr’s;
Though good old Civ is on the brink,
I’ll take a chance and lift a drink
To General Gamelin of France,
To Justice Hughes and Vivian Vance,
Ed Wynn, Billy Conn,
Caesar Bozzo, Thomas Mann,
The Ward Cheneys, Irene Dunne,
And all the boys at Twenty-One,
The Bradfords, Mary Rose and Roark,
And the friendly Ganymedes at the Stork,
June Walker, Joe Kerrigan,
George Ritchie, Tom Berrigan,
Bob Davidson and Marietta,
The Carl Van Dorens and Papa Moneta.
I drink a wassail to Dave Cort,
To Lida Thomas and Viscount Gort,
Raymond Parker, Winston Churchill,
Charlie Merz and Freddie Birchall,
Senator Hattie Caraway,
Premier Ed Daladier,
Lester Cuddihy, Zorina,
Leopold and Wilhelmina.
Pardon the proud alumnal beam
I cast upon the Big Red Team,
The rootin’, tootin’ mass Blitzkrieg
That flattened out the Ivy League;
Oh, far above Cayuga’s waters,
With its waves of H2O,
Cornell’s sons and Cornell’s daughters
Have a perfect right to crow!
Here’s to Tony Canzoneri,
Tom Chalmers, Daise Terry,
Sam Forrest, Georges Enesco,
Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco!
The world’s a vast Pandora’s box,
But I still have faith in Fontaine Fox,
In Sophie Kerr and David Niven,
The New Republic and Bruce Bliven,
Edward Johnson and the Met,
The Gibbses, Arthur and Jeannette,
Mrs. Caroline O’Day,
Ruth Gordon, Alice Faye,
Frank Buck and M. K. Gandhi,
Dan Parker, Baby Sandy,
Louis Sobol, Grantland Rice,
Father Cashin and Garrett Price,
Don Stewart, Harriette Finch,
Parker Merrow and Walter the Winch,
Ernest Lindley, Gertrude Macy,
Leggett Brown and Spencer Tracy.
Give out some Christmas propaganda
For Veloz and his pal Yolanda,
For Johnny Cheever and Wickham Steed,
McKinlay Kantor, Senator Mead,
The John Roys, Don Beddoe,
The McIntoshes, Blanche and Neddo,
Dorothy Stickney, Miriam Doyle,
Rebecca West, Selena Royle,
John Hadfield of J. M. Dent,
Paul Robeson and Silas Bent.
God rest the G. O. Pachyderm,
But give us Frank for another term!
Thus having disposed of politics,
I clasp to my arms the Sheldon Dicks.
Assuming a more surly vein,
Let’s wish a whacking Yule chilblain
To Father Coughlin, the clerical wowser,
And every other rabble-rouser.
And then, in doggerel-cum-verse,
Let’s launch a hearty Christmas curse
On the Nazi-minded everywhere,
Whether here or over there;
In our midst or oversea,
All Kuhns look alike to me.
So raise your mugs and drink distress
To Rosenberg and Rudolf Hess;
Dismay to Comrade Molotoff—
For Czar: Prince Michael Romanoff!
Here’s hoping something dire may happen
To Goebbels, Himmler, and von Papen,
To Goring and von Dribblepuss,
And their whilom sidekick, Benny the Muss!
Wise Men who are really wise
Will keep one eye upon the skies,
For the Holy Night is rent by bomb
As Ouija reads the Führer’s palm.
Lebensraum he wants? So! Well,
Let’s hope he gets it soon, in hell.
And his Kremlin crony, Joe the Tricky—
Give him a Finn, but make it a Mickey!
Of all these knaves we crave surcease;
What this world needs is a good Blitzpeace.
