Morgan had eventually fallen back to sleep. Just in time to get a half hour nap before dawn.
How did Grey manage it? He handled everything as if nothing affected him. Montana, the challenges, the battle at the cabin, all of the men he had killed in the name of protecting her. He made it seem as if everything rolled off his back, while she was barely treading water. There was no time to deal with the stress before some other tragedy demanded her attention. The tension built and built until she would surely explode into a million pieces. Poof, and fine-mist Morgan would be all that remained.
The stranger’s glowing eyes in the darkness flittered across her mind, and her inner wolf squirmed uncomfortably before she snuffed out the memory. Grey hadn’t even mentioned it. Just Changed, kissed her forehead, and headed for the shower. Maybe he had forgotten that this kind of behavior wasn’t part of normal human life. Nothing she had been through since becoming a wolf was normal.
Wolf had to be the most confounding creature in existence. Even her wolf, who was much more sensitive, was confused and restless at his lack of reaction. The shades of the men she had killed protecting the packs haunted her. A vision of Brandon’s vacant, staring eyes had a tendency to appear when she closed her own, but never once had Grey asked her how she was handling everything. Grey reacted less and less the longer he was a wolf, and there was no easy or obvious solution. Would she ever understand him? And in turn, would Wolf ever give Grey enough leash to give her what she needed emotionally? Her basest instincts warned her to be wary. She had not seen a drop of blue in Grey’s eyes for the past three days. How could she solve this issue with Grey when Wolf was the only one doing the speaking?
He came out of the shower toweling off his hair, eyes still a steady gold. She pressed against their bond, making it smaller and smaller until it was only a pinhole. The last thing she needed to do was feed Wolf the turmoil roiling within her. He looked at her with a frown but didn’t voice any concern. She skirted around him to get ready.
“What did that psychopath say to you last night?” Rachel asked as the group headed to breakfast.
“He said I smell like I’m in heat. Do I smell different to you?”
Rachel and Marissa both sniffed her.
“A little,” Rachel admitted, “but Grey only recently claimed you. Your smell has changed so much since last week. Plus, I’m not a male. I don’t think I would know what to look for.”
Morgan looked at Jason questioningly. He slid a look behind him at Grey who was walking with Lana and talking quietly with Dean. He veered closer to test the air around Morgan and nodded to her. “There is definitely something there, and if I had to guess, I would say that wolf was right.” Jason’s eyes had brightened to a light brown, and he smiled apologetically.
A deep, short growl sounded behind them, and a wave of thick dominance covered them like a blanket. Marissa’s shoulders hunched under the burden of the power, and Jason threw up his hands and gave her space.
With plates filled high with food, the Dallas packs sat down at a table near the edge of the room. Sarah and a few of the other girls from last night were sitting at a smaller table near the middle of the room. Morgan waved at them, then motioned for them to come and join. Grey was across the table with Marissa, and Morgan made room on her right for Sarah and her two friends. Brent sat happily on her left with Lana.
“Sarah,” Morgan said. “This is my friend Brent. He is part of Dean’s pack. Brent this is Sarah. She is part of the Michigan pack.”
Sarah studied him shyly. “Nice to meet you.” She held her hand out.
“The pleasure is all mine,” Brent responded slowly, shaking her hand behind Morgan’s back.
Logan grunted, and Morgan shot him a warning look.
Sarah grinned at Lana in Brent’s lap. “And I remember you, little one.”
“That’s also what she would say to Brent’s d—”
Morgan launched a hash brown at Logan’s face, effectively shutting him up as Dean pointed a fork full of eggs at him and told him to cut it out.
“So, Michigan pack, huh?” Brent asked. “Is there only one in the state?”
“Yeah, I think there are only one or two packs per northern state if there are any at all. It gets pretty cold and uncomfortable up there. My Wolf loves the cold winters, but when I’m in my human skin and trapped inside for long stretches of time, I get restless. I think it’s like that for the other packs too. I have four other pack mates and they get stir crazy like I do.”
Morgan gulped down the last bite of her biscuit like an anaconda. “Well, if you ever need a vacation from the winters up there, you are more than welcome to come visit us. Our winters stay pretty fair, and it would be nice to get to see you again before next Summit.”
“I would like that,” Sarah said, eyes sliding to Brent and then glancing away.
The usual pack racket picked up after that. Logan and Jason got into a loud argument over who would win in a fight between Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Morgan took the opportunity to excuse herself with the pretext of getting seconds on food.
“Smooth,” Grey mouthed.
By the time she came back with another heaping plate of sustenance, Sarah had scooted down the bench seat beside Brent. Lana handed her fistfuls of cheerios, and Sarah cooed at what a good sharer she was.
“What time do we need to meet out front for the scavenger hunt?” Logan asked as they finished up.
“I think the itinerary said nine-thirty,” a dark-haired girl named Margaret said, blushing deeply and then looking down at her plate.
Dean glanced at the clock on the wall. “Okay, that leaves us about ten minutes. We should go ahead and clean up our trays and head on out there.”
Just outside the door, Grey tugged gently on her hand. “What’s wrong? You’ve been distant this morning, and I can’t feel you very well through our bond.”
She pulled him to an empty picnic table as the others disappeared around the corner of the pavilion. The worn wood of the table was rough against the back of her legs but the contrast of his strong hands against the thin cotton over her hips was delicious. She glared at a lone fern near a path leading to the woods, as if it held the secrets of the world. If she looked at his glorious face and gave in to her physical attraction, she wouldn’t be able to say what she needed.
The deepest parts of her clenched warmly as he leaned forward, and the pads of his thumbs found their way under the hem of her shirt.
She shook her head in an attempt to focus on anything other than his consuming touch. “That wolf last night? It bothers me that he broke into our room.”
His fingers stopped their advance. “I know, but I took care of him, didn’t I? You don’t have to worry. I told you I would keep you safe.”
“But you didn’t even ask me how I felt about it this morning. You acted as if nothing happened. I need more from you, Grey. I understand our wolves are different, but I need you to be there for me, too. To talk to me, not just to protect me.”
“Come on guys. They are about to hand out the lists,” Marissa called out, toting Lana.
“Be there in a sec,” Grey said in an irritated tone. He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Look, I’m doing my best here. This isn’t an ideal situation for us to be in, and my job is to keep you guys safe.”
Morgan stared into his unflinching golden eyes for a moment more before she responded. “I’m not your job, Grey. I’m your wife.”
She hopped off the table, and when he didn’t give way, she ducked under his arm.
His arm snaked out and caught her hand. “Morgan, wait—”
A hot ember of fear and anger snaked through her gut. She growled, “Let go of me.”
He looked down at his hand with wide, bewildered eyes. Whether he was confused about how his hand got there, or why she was so angry when he was gently touching her, she didn’t know, nor did she care. She had been through the ringer, and no man would touch her without her permission, no matter how gently and no matter how much she loved him, and especially not when she was pissed. He let go. A growl escaped his throat, and it was followed by a vicious shake of his head. His eyes held blue for only a moment before they belonged to Wolf again.
“Find a balance, Wolf,” she said softly. “I need you both.”
* * * *
Holding the scavenger hunt list, Lana jumped up and down beside Rachel who was loading bottled waters and snacks into a backpack. Lana bounded over to Morgan, waving the list in the air. Most of the items would probably be easy to find, such as a y-shaped twig, smooth or shiny rock, unusual shaped leaf, and trash. Others wouldn’t be so easy with the bottom half of the list naming flowers, seeds, roots, grasses, and leaves from trees native to the area. Morgan didn’t recognize most of them, but the harder ones had small drawings and descriptions next to the name.
Each team had been provided with a small burlap sack to carry the items, and they were to meet back at the pavilion when they were finished. The first team done would win the prize. It wouldn’t be a terribly difficult competition under normal circumstances, but large groups of werewolves tended to have constant arguments and power struggles. The purpose of the game was cooperation and teamwork.
As the groups split off and the Dallas packs headed up the mountain, they started finding the easy list items right away. She, Brent, Marissa, and Logan ran around like chickens with their heads cut off in search for things as Rachel read them off. Lana was content to sit on top of Jason’s shoulders as they hiked farther up the trail they had chosen.
Grey led the group through a thin spot in the trail between two large boulders. Dean and Wade flanked the group in the rear. Grey hadn’t said a word to her since their argument, and though Marissa glanced between them often enough with her lips pursed, she was wise enough not to ask what was wrong.
Instead, Marissa put her attention elsewhere. “Seems like you and Sarah got along well.” She waggled her eyebrows and Brent.
“She’s nice. I invited her to eat lunch with us if we get back around the same time as her pack.” He hesitated and then cleared his throat softly through a decidedly guilty looking expression. “I asked her why she wasn’t claimed yet.”
“What?” Morgan exclaimed. “Brent! You don’t ask a girl that the first time you meet her!”
“Well, I don’t know how to talk to girls. I only talk to you, and you are all open and inappropriate. I thought, I don’t know, that she would either answer me or tell me to shut up like you do. Instead, she seemed embarrassed, and I felt bad.”
“What did she say?” Morgan asked.
“After she finished blushing, she told me she had practically grown up with her pack brothers and didn’t look at them that way. They showed interest in her, but she didn’t have feelings for them, so she dated a human for a few months and then broke it off when she realized she couldn’t tell him anything personal about herself. So then she seemed frustrated and asked me why I hadn’t claimed anyone, and I told her because there were no blondes in my pack. I thought she knew I was joking, but she blushed again, and I asked her to eat with us for lunch. She said she would, and then we headed off for the scavenger hunt,” he blurted out.
Rachel snorted unbecomingly from behind them, and Morgan tried her best to stifle laughter. “Well that’s one way to do it, I guess.”
“Hey, at least she didn’t run screaming into the forest, man.” Jason consoled him. “Victory.”
“Yeah, at least there’s that,” Brent said gruffly. “Hey Lana, grab that pinecone. You see it? That is on the list, too. Go throw it in the bag. Okay, don’t actually throw it,” he said as she launched the pinecone at the bag Logan carried, nailing him in the leg.
“Good throw, kiddo,” Marissa muttered through a secret smile.
Bushes rustled somewhere behind them, and they all turned, tensed and alert. Morgan grabbed Lana and held her protectively. Grey was already Changing. He gave a short bark as he trotted through the group to go check out the noise. Wade followed behind him for backup, his human strides lengthening to keep up with Wolf. Dean placed himself between the threat and the rest of them. They’d all been victims of a trap before. Morgan picked up Grey’s discarded clothes and folded them absently. When they came back, Grey sneezed, shaking his head, and went back up to the front of the group. He didn’t bother to Change back.
“Squirrels,” Wade said as they started moving forward again.
Rachel looked at Morgan with wide eyes, and they both gave a relieved puff of air.
“What’s the matter, Morgan?” Lana asked.
“Nothing, Baby. A squirrel scared us, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
Three hours later the Dallas packs arrived back at the Pavilion with all of the items from the scavenger hunt collected in their bag. They weren’t even close to being the first ones there, but they hadn’t tried to be either. It had been an adventuresome last couple of weeks for the packs, and it was nice to spend relaxing time together. Lana got to pee in the woods for the first time, which proved to be a terribly exciting experience for a youngster, though it added ten minutes to the length of their hike as she sat happily on a log and sang “Hey Diddle Diddle.”
The packs had devoured the snacks in the backpack early in the hike and were starving by the time they got back into the mess hall. After grabbing trays of food, they sat down at a long table and silence descended as they focused on filling hungry bellies. Brent scanned the room and waved to Sarah. She finished her meal with her pack and came to sit with them. Any discomfort she may have felt after her conversation with Brent earlier seemed to have dissipated as they laughed easily.
“It’s like you didn’t even try to win,” a feminine voice said from behind.
Morgan internally groaned. Alexis sat a plate of food down next to Grey, and Jonathan sat on her other side with a plate of his own.
“Hey guys,” Jonathan said. Morgan gave a two-fingered wave to him, but spared not a word for Alexis. A snarl didn’t count as a word.
Alexis’s smile was as frosty as a blizzard in Alaska. “I shall think of you as I eat my box of steaks. What’s the matter Silver Wolf? Were you feeling incredibly lazy today? Decided to slow the whole group down?”
Morgan was not going to let her get to her. Not today.
She sighed tiredly. “Yes, it was all me. I was lazy. Dean, I promise to buy you a box of premium steaks to make up for it,” she said in a bored monotone voice.
“I know you’re joking, but I really do want one,” Dean grinned.
“Done,” she said. “I, at least, owe you that after everything.”
“What about Grey? What does he get?” Jason asked mischievously.
“I bake him cookies,” she said innocently.
Alexis stabbed a potato with her fork as if there was a threat of it running away. “Okay seriously, if this is what passes for conversation now, I’m glad I left your dumb pack.”
“Yeah,” Logan said, “because it was totally your choice.”
“Shut up, Logan,” Alexis gritted out.
“I’m just saying,” he said, holding his hands up in the air. “There is less drama these days now that you have moved on.”
“Oh, you mean besides the pack war that killed one of our brothers?”
Morgan put her fork down and pushed away from the table. Here we go.
“I have a question,” Alexis snarled.
“Alexis,” Dean warned.
“No. I think I have a right to know. Were you tucked away in some hidey hole, nice and safe, while Brandon was dying for you?”
“Alexis!” Jonathan scolded her, but it was too late. The words were already out, and the table grew quiet. The only sound was the low and steady growl emitting from deep inside Grey’s chest. No human eyes looked back from anyone at the table save, Lana, Sarah, and Alexis. She had harped on a topic still fresh and devastating, and her words had conjured the monsters to the surface. Morgan put a hand on Grey’s leg to steady him. For the hundredth time, she imagined Brandon’s cold, lifeless eyes staring back at her. She closed her eyes tightly and their already straining bond completely closed.
Dean was the one to speak, emotion thick in his voice. “You have no idea what went on that day, Alexis, and it is none of your business anymore. Since you keep bringing it up, however, I will tell you what you want to know. Morgan fought with us. She killed as many as Grey or I did defending our packs, and she did it human. The wolf who killed Brandon? Morgan killed him with her bare hands to avenge him. It’s where she got all of the scars on her arms.” His voice was so low and threatening that no one said a word. The table groaned as he leaned his weight forward. “If you keep making everyone uncomfortable every time you are around us, you won’t be welcome to spend time with us anymore. Is that understood?”
Though her eyes were still defiant, Alexis nodded slightly. Dean got up and walked off. Rachel threw Alexis a dirty look and stood to follow her mate. Morgan blinked in an attempt to keep the moisture building in her eyes. Alexis’s gaze trailed from her maimed arms to her face, and a cruel smile twisted her lips.
* * * *
Grey trusted Morgan to handle herself in these situations. His interference would only make her angry if she felt like she couldn’t defend herself in pack Politics, but watching someone intentionally hurt her while he sat back sent a slow boil into his gut he had no outlet for. Wolf wanted blood as payment for offenses against his mate.
Grey strode silently beside her, but his hands quaked with the urge to release his rage. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured.
She watched him go, but it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t coop Wolf up in a cabin with such turmoil. He jogged to escape her worry. She had shut their bond down, but he was still close enough that he could almost taste her stress. Cutting herself off from him had only given Wolf more rein with no soothing touch of his mate to settle him.
The forest would provide escape from the blackness that covered everything inside of him. There, he found a sturdy tree and beat on it until flecks of blood shot from his fists with every blow.
With swollen and bloodied knuckles, he ran his hands through his hair in irritation and slid his back against the injured tree. He hadn’t realized what a burden she had been carrying simply because Wolf couldn’t see it. Since the Formal Challenges and the pack war, Wolf had been running the show, and Grey’s emotional human side had been pushed far back into the deep recesses of his mind.
Their argument had left him uneasy. He thought he was doing a better job of hiding his struggle with Wolf from her, but his intuitive mate had noticed right away. He had justified Wolf manipulating an obscene amount of face-time because it was necessary. It kept the ghosts of his victims at bay, unable to affect him. If his mate couldn’t see it, and if he hid it well enough, the problem didn’t exist. Except it did. Wolf was taking more and more control lately, and there was no longer balance between his human side and the beast. There never really had been, but his control shouldn’t be slipping this badly. His weakness was failing Morgan. He had to figure out a way to fix things with her, and then he had to work on a way to compromise with Wolf. Easier said.
When he got back to the cabin, Morgan had tucked Lana into one of the bottom bunk beds for a nap, and Marissa was sleeping in the bed above her. It had been a long night for everyone. Morgan was curled up in their bed, facing the wall, and her shoulders shook with grief that didn’t reach his ears. She had opened their bond again, and her sadness washed over him like acid rain.
He slid into bed behind her, curling around her body and hugging her tightly into the warmth of his. “How you hanging in there, Little Wolf?”
Morgan sniffled. “Sometimes I feel like I hate her. I don’t understand where she is coming from, or why she is so angry. She says things to hurt me, and I don’t know why she puts so much effort into making me look bad. She has a mate, who actually seems like a decent guy. She has a pack. She should be happy. I just wish she would move on. Every bitter comment on top of what she did to me just seems horribly unfair.”
“Sometimes I think I hate her too, but instead of sometimes, it’s all of the time.”
Morgan laughed thickly, and relief sang from her. It washed over him like a cleansing rain.
He kissed her neck softly. “Why don’t I ask Rachel and Dean to watch over Marissa and Lana, and we’ll go for a hike. Sound good?” he asked. His need to be close to her again after their earlier distance was a pain that needed relief.
Her smile was infectious. “Sounds perfect. I could use a distraction.”