CHAPTER 20

“A good conscience is a continual Christmas.”

—Benjamin Franklin

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t,” Kimber said. “I leave for New York tomorrow.”

Gunnar was disappointed but he knew he was a fool to think that she would have arranged her day with his schedule so they could see each other. “I understand. So, ah, when will you get back?”

“I’m not sure yet. Either Friday or Sunday”—she paused—“or maybe Monday.”

“The job is that up in the air?” He would have thought they would be on a pretty tight schedule.

“Oh, no. Those days are set in stone. I’m trying to coordinate plans with my parents. I’m still waiting to see if they have time to see me.”

“They don’t know if they can fit you in?” He knew he sounded incredulous, but he couldn’t help it. He would’ve thought her parents would’ve moved heaven and earth to see her.

“It sounds worse than it is. My father’s dad is sick and my mom’s job is crazy right now. Plus, they don’t really like going into the city.”

“I would have thought seeing you would be their priority.”

“Like I said, I’m making it sound like they’re uncaring, but they’re not.” She sighed. “Honestly, everything with them and me is kind of complicated.”

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“I kind of think it is,” she said, surprising him. “I don’t want you thinking that I’m being evasive on purpose.”

“I didn’t think that.” Realizing that she had enough stress in her life, he changed the topic. “So are you ready for your big trip?”

“I hope so. I haven’t gotten up the nerve to get on the scale, but I think I’m good. My measurements were fine last week.” She laughed softly. “And, Lord knows I’ve done enough crunches over the last three weeks.”

Glad she couldn’t see his look of incredulousness, he shook his head. She had already been really thin and toned, at least it had seemed that way to him. “I know you’re going to be busy and all, but text when you can, okay? I’ll be worried about you.”

“I will, but I promise that New York City isn’t as scary as you think.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve been to New York. I’m not worried about you in the city. I’ll be worried about you.”

Her voice softened. “Thanks. Gunnar, I’ll be thinking about you too.”

“You better.”

She laughed. “I’ll see you soon.”

“You will.” Deciding it was time to press a bit, he asked, “Hey, is anyone already planning to pick you up at the airport?”

“No . . .”

“Count on me doing that then.”

“Don’t forget, I’m not exactly sure . . .”

“Let me know and I’ll be there. I want to be there, Kimber.”

“Wow. Um, okay.”

She sounded cute and flustered, and he figured that was enough for now. He liked that he was able to break through her exterior from time to time. It gave him hope that one day she’d let him in all the time.

Five minutes later they hung up. He set down his phone, thinking that even though they weren’t going to see each other for a while, something new had happened between them. Maybe they were making progress after all?

He was still stewing on their conversation a while later when he went into the kitchen to make him and Jeremy some supper.

He found Jeremy at the stove heating up some ramen noodles. As usual, the boy wore cut-off sweatpants, an old T-shirt, and had bare feet. When he’d first moved in, Gunnar had worried that he would get cold, but Jeremy had looked as surprised as he’d used to act when his mother had asked him such things.

What was new was that there were two schoolbooks spread out on the kitchen counter. It looked like he was reading while he was stirring a pot on the stove.

“Hey, ah, what are you doing?”

Jeremy frowned. “I’m studying while I’m cooking noodles. Why?”

“No reason.” This was another one of those weird no-man’s-land moments. Was he supposed to say something about how it would be better to study when he was sitting down or leave it alone because the boy was actually doing his homework?

“Uh, do you want some?” Jeremy asked when Gunnar continued to stare into space. “I could put in another package in the water, if you’d like.”

“You know what? Thanks.”

Jeremy grinned as he opened another orange package and crumbled the noodles into the water. “I make a mean batch of noodles. Just you wait.”

“I didn’t know it was your specialty.”

“It pretty much is. I started making it back when I was eleven or twelve.” He lowered his voice. “The trick is to boil them an extra five minutes and then pour a little soy sauce on top.”

“That sounds great. I can’t wait to try them.”

When Jeremy grinned again as he leaned back over his book, Gunnar took a step back.

Yeah, he probably should be looking into the refrigerator to make the kid something halfway decent, but he decided to hold off from bringing it up. The last thing he wanted to do was make Jeremy feel bad.

Honestly, it was good to see the boy looking so pleased with himself.

He grabbed a beer and sat down. Popping the top, he exhaled, pleased to take a five-minute break. He’d worked on a remodeling job today and while it was going well, he was sore as all get out.

“You’re going to just sit here and watch?”

“Pretty much. It’s been a long day and you’re cooking. I decided things can’t get much better than that.”

Jeremy shrugged. “All righty.”

Taking a first sip, he watched the boy go back to reading textbooks and stirring noodles. “I thought most of your books were on your computer now.”

“They are, but I asked for copies too. I like the real books.”

“Gotcha. Of course, back when I was in school, we didn’t have a choice about such things, but I would’ve picked the books too.”

“Were you good in school?”

“Yeah.” He’d actually done real well in school. Well enough to have gotten a scholarship to college to study something fancy. He hadn’t had the nerve to take the opportunity, though. He was small town enough to be intimidated by the thought of going to a big university. Then, there were his three younger siblings. He would have missed them, and his parents.

So instead, he’d done what had been expected of him and continued his job at the auto shop. He’d ended up going into construction in the summers because he’d wanted to learn something new. It had all turned out fine. He had a good life, so maybe his choice had been the right path after all.

He stopped his musing long enough to realize that Jeremy was staring at him. Whether it was because he was waiting for Gunnar to talk some more or he was confused, he didn’t know.

He was prevented from asking when there was a rap at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Jeremy said.

Gunnar leaned back and had another sip then just about choked when the boy walked back into the kitchen, Melanie right on his heels.

Dressed in gray wool pants, black suede boots, and a chunky black turtleneck, the social worker looked more dressed up and polished than usual.

She also seemed to be just as alert as ever. She didn’t seem to miss a thing. Not him sitting and drinking beer at six in the evening. Not how Jeremy was wearing shorts, a T-shirt, and had bare feet while he was boiling noodles on the stove.

No, she didn’t even miss the kid’s books laid out on the counter.

She smiled. “Hello, Gunnar.”

He surged to his feet. “Hey, Melanie. I didn’t know you were coming. Did I miss a call or did I just forget it or something?”

“You didn’t miss a thing.” Glancing at Jeremy, who had taken his place next to the stove again, she added, “This is one of my surprise home visits.”

She was speaking like they’d just run into each other at the store or something, but there was a sharper look on her face that let him know that she wasn’t missing a thing.

“Can I get you some ah . . . tea? Coffee, maybe?” He wished he could hide his beer but it was obvious that there was nothing he could do about that. “I’d be happy to make you coffee.”

“You know what? Coffee sounds wonderful.”

Glad that she hadn’t asked if he had decaf, he hustled to get on it. “Coming right up.”

While he was measuring coffee grounds, she turned to Jeremy. “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Ramen noodles.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Is that right?”

“It’s chicken too. That’s my favorite. I make great ramen.” Tossing a grin his way, Jeremy added, “I’m making some for Gunnar too.”

Even though his face was probably beet red, he said, “I was about to make us something but he had already started on it.”

“I see.”

Yes, he bet she saw that real good. This visit was getting worse and worse. After pouring water into the machine, he stood there and watched the coffee drip down into the carafe. Anything to not face her.

But she wasn’t looking at him anyway. She was standing next to Jeremy. “Looks like you’re working on your homework at the same time.”

“Yeah, it’s better than doing nothing while it cooks.”

“I bet you’re right. I hate watching noodles boil.”

Jeremy grinned at her.

Gunnar had never felt more unworthy. “The coffee will be ready in a few. Want to have a seat, Melanie?”

“If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go take a look around. Jeremy, are you still in the same room?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. I’ll be right back.”

After she disappeared down the hall, Gunnar closed his eyes and tried not to panic. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d vacuumed in there. Maybe it had been a week?

Had it been longer?

“What’s wrong?”

He opened his eyes. “Nothing. I’m good.”

“You aren’t,” Jeremy said. “You’re acting worried or something. What’s wrong?”

“I just wish I was making a better impression.” Realizing that he hadn’t cleaned the boy’s room in days, he said, “How bad does your room look?”

He stopped to consider. “Not bad.”

“Not bad” could mean anything. “Is there laundry all over your floor?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s no worse than usual.”

He bit back a curse. The kid probably had half his dirty clothes strewn all over the floor and Melanie was going to think that he not only didn’t cook or supervise the boy’s homework, he was too lazy to run the washing machine too.

When he heard Melanie approach again, he reached for a mug and poured her a cup. “Do you take cream and sugar?”

“Nope. I like it black.” Reaching for it, she took a tentative sip and smiled. “Thanks. This hits the spot.”

“You’re welcome.” He got himself a cup too. “So I was just asking Jeremy how bad his dirty clothes situation was. Were you able to walk inside the room?”

She chuckled. “I managed. It wasn’t that bad.” She sat down and unzipped the tote bag he hadn’t noticed she’d been carrying around. “Do you have some time to talk right now?”

“I do.” When she pulled out her tablet and clicked a button at the top, followed by slipping on a pair of glasses, he gazed at her warily. “Is everything all right?”

“I think so, but we need to go over some things right now, if you don’t mind.”

“Do you want me to go over it too?” Jeremy asked.

“Of course,” she replied. “This affects you, Jeremy.”

Jeremy clicked off the stove and joined them at the table.

Watching Melanie open up her laptop, Gunnar worried that everything he’d been sure about was on the verge of blowing up in his face.

What was he going to do if he lost this boy? He could hardly think about it.