The blaring date on my cell phone seemed to be important, but I couldn’t quite remember why. Then the memory lured me back to a party in New York I would have attended this evening. Today, however, I was confident I had made no mistake. I was home.
To many,my home exists in a time gone by. But Savannah has its own rhythm. Life still happens here. People still die. Babies are still born. Dreams are still shattered. Successes achieved. You can find it all here. And I’m not sure that changing the world was ever really my goal anyway. I just wanted to touch a soul, so that he or she could touch another, and the ongoing cycle—the cycle of life, the reason for living—would produce change. And I was glad at this moment, with the almost-summer sun beating through my window, that Savannah had welcomed me home.
At the office, I saw the pantyhose-covered legs and cranberry sling-back pumps before I turned the corner of my tiny cubicle. When the full body came into view, I found myself face-to-face with Amber, decked out in a cranberry suit with tiny fabric-covered buttons running up the front of her jacket. Her hair had not moved since I saw her the other day at lunch, and her jewelry reflected her, shall we say, illuminating personality. As soon as she saw me, she stood to her feet. “I’m sorry to bother you, Savannah. I know I shouldn’t just stop here without even calling first. I just wanted to see you for one minute since we haven’t talked since lunch the other day.”
“It’s OK,” I said, setting my satchel on the far side of my desk. I motioned for her to sit back down and pulled my chair up to sit across from her.“What’s up? You look beautiful.”
She looked down at herself with a surprisingly shy smile.“Oh, this is an old suit. I’ve had it since I competed in Miss Georgia United States of America the third time,” she said, lowering her head.“Pretty sad, isn’t it? That’s how I remember the time frame of major events in my life, what pageant I was in.”
“We all need points of references. Mine are ads in the paper. So how have you been?”
“I’ve been good. Really good,” she said and I believed her. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since we talked. You said some hurtful things, Savannah,” she said with a pouty look.“But they were true. Every one of them. I’ve spent my entire life allowing other people’s opinions to define me. And I made a decision that I’m not going to do that anymore. I mean, the last time I lost Miss Georgia United States of America, I went home and sat in front of the TV eating an entire chocolate cake and replaying the pageant video in my VCR over and over. In the middle of the forty-ninth viewing, I called my mother and said, ‘I’ve watched this thing forty-nine times and I still haven’t won.’” She broke into a light laugh.“It was really pitiful. I realize now that only one thing will give me that kind of self-worth. You called it an ‘eternal perspective,’ I think. And thanks to you, I believe I’ve been able to find that.”
“So are you hanging up your pageant dresses?”
“Well, no. I’m just getting a new perspective. I’m going to do pageants for the enjoyment alone. Because I do enjoy them. Just like you enjoy writing. But I’m just not going to do it for approval. I’m going to tell myself, ‘Self, you are beautiful. You don’t need these people’s approval. You don’t even need to win. Now, it’s OK if you do, but you don’t have to win. So, self, you just go out there and sing your little heart out, answer your questions, and let the whole world see those great legs. And if you win, you need to tell those other girls how wonderful they were and not to let the judges’ decision make them feel worthless.’ What do you think about that?”
I just smiled at her sincerity, patted her skinny knee, and said, “That’s a wonderful place to begin.”
“I thought you would agree,” she said.“So I’ve got to get back to work. And I’ve got a busy weekend because I think I might get asked out soon, and I also need to practice changing from my swimsuit to my talent competition outfit. I’ve got my time down to a minute and thirty seconds, but I really think I can cut ten seconds off of that. If it wasn’t so hard getting my swimsuit unstuck, I could probably do it in a minute flat. ‘Always be prepared.’ I learned that motto in Girl Scouts. And I hear the Mrs. United States of America Pageant has a lot less time to get ready than you do in the Miss Pageants. Who knows, I could be there by this time next year.”
I knew the next thing we might need to work on was her motivation for marriage. I also wasn’t about to be the one to inform her of Joshua’s feelings for her. So I simply raised an eyebrow and stood up. She continued to talk incessantly until I had to use more abrupt measures by saying,“Amber, it was great to see you, but I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, standing up with a slight, very slight, hint of embarrassment. She straightened her cranberry attire and headed around to the other side of the cubicle. As she turned the corner, Joshua’s nameplate that hung on the side of his cubicle caught her eye. “Savannah! that’s him. That’s the man I think I’m going to marry. Oh, my side. If I knew that was his cubicle right next to yours, I’d have gone weak in the knees. And if he would’ve heard us! Oh, heaven help me, I would’ve had to have a face trans- plant and move to Katmandu.” Her face morphed into that of a lovesick pup. “He’s the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld. The way his hair kind of flops on his head. And those curls. Oh, they are just like a bowl of noodles. And his hands, have you ever looked at his hands, Savannah? They are the strongest, most breathtaking hands I’ve ever seen. I bet they could hold your hand in theirs, and you wouldn’t even be able to see your fingers. I need to go. I’m getting annihilated.”
“I’ll see you later,” I said, laughing, knowing even I had never seen “exhilarated” in quite that way. I watched as she half swayed, half strutted back up the aisle. I hoped she wouldn’t introduce herself to Marla, because she’d probably never make it through the door again. Well, Rome wasn’t built in a day, I thought as she disappeared into a sea of gray.
I peered around the corner of Joshua’s cubicle. It was totally sparse except for a University of Florida banner hanging on one of the Styrofoam beams and a picture of him and a group of guys about his age. There was little to reveal the full character of the man that rested in this chair. I figured what I didn’t know, Miss Amber Topaz would reveal. The ringing of my phone called me back to my desk.
“Hello, Savannah Phillips.”
“Vanni, you were worried about your next story?” came a unique tone of excitement, so rare, in fact, the last twenty-one years had never revealed such enthusiasm.“Well, I’ve found it. Get up here to the courthouse as soon as you can.”
“What is it,Thomas?”
“Just get up here, now.”
“OK, I’ll be right there,” I said, reaching for my satchel.
“And Vanni.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t be shocked when you get here, but Mom has chained herself to it.”
“I’ll be there in three minutes,” I assured Thomas and hung up. I grabbed all coordinating paraphernalia and my cell phone. “I’ve got to get my attorney on speed dial,” I muttered. I left, not sure if this was the story I would want or not. But a reporter must go. A reporter must go.