Most of you can skip these pages. After all, the only people who will read it are those who are dying to see if I mention their names. So, for those who read it and you weren’t mentioned, I can only blame such reprehensible actions on my weary being. For the rest of you that I did mention,my words are sincere and words that I hope I have said to you personally at one time or another and not just on the written page. If I haven’t, I’m glad the opportunity arose that I could.
Many authors would tell you that they had some profound idea when they began writing a book. I did once. However, that book received a substantial amount of rejection letters, thirteen to be exact. (But who keeps a count of such things?) So, I simply wrote this one instead. It didn’t start with a prolific idea. I simply knew beauty pageants and thought a story of one being rigged would be an enjoyable adventure. Since I began this idea almost three years ago,many other books with tiaras gracing the cover have been published. But like any good writer will assure you, I had mine first!
This book was written because of a dream I thought I had lost. My multiple rejected manuscript was how I wanted to be introduced to the publishing world. It seemed that it would offer true hope on this chaotic adventure. But no one wanted to publish it. A wiser person might have given up on writing books altogether after the thirteenth rejection letter declaring her book “Not what we are looking for.”A statement which cuts as deeply as “She’s got a great personality.” But call me crazy, or stubborn, neither would be foreign to me, but I believe it was those closed doors that allowed me to get quiet enough to hear the direction the Lord had for this time in my life. That direction is Savannah.
I can honestly say I’ve fallen in love with these characters. Partly because they were created and developed in one of the darkest times in my life. They gave me laughter and an outlet to be creative and produce a work that I can honestly say I am proud of. I feel like I know them. Even gotten sick of them a time or two. But I must clarify here and now that they are not me, nor my mother, or any beauty queen I have even known, and any resemblance thereof is totally due to way too much Coke consumed during the writing of these pages.
Speaking of my mother, few things of life are possible without one. Life itself being the main thing. But for me she has been a wonderful example of grace and beauty in a world where those words are used to describe very few things. And my father, whose love made it easy to believe Jesus loves me too. For the cars you bought me, for the college you sent me to, for the trust you had in me (because if you had known better, you would have locked me in my room until I was forty, as you threatened), and for letting me climb in an old dilapidated Saab of my own and spread my wings to the hills of Tennessee. I love you and I thank you. But for allowing me a safe place in a dark time and being true believers in miracles, and for giving me a heritage in Jesus, I love you and thank you even more.
To the two grown men who are my brothers, one of which I will forever boss around and the other who, even though he is almost a foot taller than me, will forever be know as “the baby,” know this book is not about you and you, and no, you cannot receive any royalties. But you can forever know that it is a privilege to call you on the phone, laugh at your stupid jokes, and pray with you for our needs and dreams.
To my priceless friend Deneen—I know you hate to read, but at this point, until there is a book on tape, you have no choice. You helped finishing this become possible. Through your prayers, through your love, and through your belief that God could somehow use the likes of me. Few people will live this side of heaven and know such a treasure as our friendship has given me. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait until there to find it.
To the two women who have been friends and sisters—Beth and Joan. Distance has prevented our getting together as often as we would like. But it will never prevent us from our wonderful memories and invaluable friendships. You two are a part of my best moments.
To Esther Fedorkevich—this would still be lying on a shelf in my office if it hadn’t been for your belief, dedication, and hard work. And often persistent attitude. (Aren’t we a pair!) This was part of God’s plan for both of us. I will always believe that. And I will be forever thankful that He let us have this new path in our lives together.
To Ami McConnell,my editor—I knew you were my kind of girl when you asked if it was “McDonald’s calibration system.” That was just plain freaky. You have made me mad. You have made me laugh. You have made me better. And you have believed in Savannah like I did. I didn’t think people did that unless they were married to you, gave birth to you, or owed you money. But you just got it. From the first day you got it. Here’s to believing you’ll get the next one as well. Shoot! Here’s to believing I’ll get the next one as well.
To Bridgett O’Lannerty—thank you for your energy and effort. You were a joy to work with.
To Erin Healy—thank you for making Savannah dance. You were gentle and “surgical.”You took the heart of something and made it beat more powerfully. You are a master at what you do. And such a kind lady. Even though you edited out my husband, you redeemed yourself in fabulous ways. I look forward to seeing what you do with the next one.
To Allen Arnold at Thomas Nelson—what a risk taker you are. How grateful I am. I’m proud to be part of your team.
To the rest of the Thomas Nelson team—Jenny, Amanda, Andrea, and Rebeca—you are here because of your talent. Thank you for sharing those talents with me.
And to my sister-in-laws Janey and Deborah,my cousins Patty and Carol, and my wonderful friends, Heather, Jackie,Valencia, and Cyndi—first thank you for being women of prayer. Your prayers held me up and kept me alive. But also thank you for selflessly reading my book and critiquing my book. Even though I told you a thousand times this is not autobiographical, I know you still don’t believe me. I thank you and love you.
To my precious mother-in-law—your strength astounded me. Your faith challenged me. And your life taught me invaluable lessons. I love you for who you are and the treasure you gave me in your son.
To Hannah, Lauren, Abigail, Daxtyn, and the newest addition Jake, Aunt Niecy or Aunt Nina—whichever it is you call me— wants you to know that your destiny is going to be powerful and you are going to be a part of changing this world. I can’t wait to see what you will become.
And to the rest of my family, extended and immediate—our treasure is our heritage. Our joy is having the privilege of shared experience and love. All that I know is a part of who I have walked this journey with. I’m thankful God allowed me to be a part of you. And I’m thankful I come from such fine people.
And to my Pastors Rice and Jody Broocks—you loved me, prayed with me, and believed with me. I count it a privilege to walk with you in ministry and to call you pastors. To Pastors Tim and Lechelle Johnson—you challenged me and loved me at the same time . Then, assured me,“No one’s getting out of the boat.” I know that is true. You have proved it. To Pastor Jim and Kathy Laffoon—your prayers have been felt, and the word of the Lord you have spoken over my life has been foundational in allowing me to continue to believe. To David and Sandy Houston—thank you for giving us such a beautiful love to emulate and the defining words of “original intent.”To John and Maretta Rohrer—you have loved me with an undeserving love. You gave when I had nothing to give in return but my gratitude. You grieved and rejoiced with me. I smile when I think of you, and am glad this journey will be traveled with you. To my Bethel family—I am never more proud than when I’m riding down the road and catch a glimpse of those two distinctive hands touching each other, declaring that we are “Reaching a City to Touch the World.” I am honored to be a part of such a beautiful body of believers.
And to those who dwell under my roof. My Maggie and Chloe, who have let me cry in their fur and laugh at their inability to ever tire of chasing a ball from one end of the room to the other. Thank you for being just as excited to see me if I’ve been gone for two weeks overseas or ten minutes to the grocery store.
And to the man I fell in love with in what seems a lifetime ago. Marriage is a journey. It will make us smile, bump and bruise us, challenge us, grow us, and hopefully, at the end of the day, lead us somewhere. My prayer is that it leads us to our original intent. Thank you for your sacrifice to let me pursue the gifts I felt God had given me, even when they seemed to cost more than they brought in. And thank you for being a man with as much character as talent. Your abilities amaze me. But your heart amazes me more. And at the end of the day, when our children sit on the steps as we swing on the front porch, we’re going to tell them the stories about how Mommy and Daddy kept loving when everything in the world screamed at them to stop. And then we’re going to tell them how they fell off their bikes and we patched them up, how they had dreams and we nurtured them, and how their hearts got broken and we helped mend them. And then “when there are lines upon our face, from a lifetime of smiles, and when it comes time to embrace, for one long last while, we will laugh about it, how time really flies. We won’t say good-bye ’cause true love never dies. You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes.”
And to the Man who lives in my heart: Jesus Christ. You’ve taught me much these past years. You’ve broken me to pieces, then graciously rebuilt me. You’ve disciplined me, then held me. You’ve listened to my secret dreams, then given me new ones yet to share. And You’ve loved me. When I wasn’t sure anyone could see my failures and really love me, You showed me that not only could You, but You did. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that You are pleased with me: with my life, with the way I love, and with the way I use my gifts. My greatest desire has always been for You to use me, someway, anyway. Thank You for allowing me to be used in a way that I sincerely love. You are the Christ of my soul, the Healer of my heart, and the Deliverer of my dreams, and the One I can’t wait to see.