‘And so she’s decided to call the baby Alice. It’s a lovely name, isn’t it?’ she said to Richard as they sat together in the hospital canteen a couple of days later. Luckily she had been able to telephone him at the hospital from her mother’s to explain where she was when she had dashed off to be at Ivy’s side. She’d also spoken to Matron who had given her a bit of a telling-off, but Holly was still pleased that she’d gone. She wouldn’t have missed little Alice’s birth for the world. ‘She looks just like Ivy,’ she gabbled on. ‘And—’ She stopped abruptly when she saw that Richard was laughing at her.
‘Do you know you haven’t stopped speaking about that baby for the last ten minutes? I’m beginning to get a bit jealous,’ he teased.
‘Sorry.’ Holly grinned at him. ‘But when you meet her you’ll see why I’m so besotted with her.’
‘Hmm, sounds to me like this little Miss Alice has turned you all broody. And if that’s the case I shall have to make an honest woman of you, shan’t I?’
When Holly almost choked on the mouthful of tea she was in the process of swallowing he thumped her on the back.
‘Was that a proposal, Dr Parkin?’ she squeaked when she’d got her breath back, her eyes like saucers.
‘I think it was. Not the most romantic of ones I admit. But what do you say?’
Holly didn’t even have to think about it. ‘I say yes,’ she breathed with all the love she felt for him shining in her eyes.
‘In that case I suppose I’d better take you shopping on Saturday for a ring. But now I’d better get back to work. I don’t want to get the sack if I have a fiancée to support, do I?’
Resisting the urge to kiss her because they were in full view of everyone in the canteen he went on his way and Holly followed on legs that suddenly felt as if they’d developed a life of their own.
As the afternoon wore on her elation began to wear off. What were her mother and grandfather going to say when she suddenly appeared with a fiancé that they’d had no idea about? And what about Matron? She had a strict rule that there should be no consorting between doctors and nurses. She was also very disapproving of any of her nurses being married, especially the younger ones. Perhaps she should suggest to Richard that she took him to meet the family before they bought the ring. At least then it wouldn’t come as such a shock to those back at home.
She put the idea to him that evening. ‘I’m not saying that I don’t want to get engaged,’ she assured him hastily. ‘It’s just that I feel it might be better if we do it this way. At least then my family will have met you. And as for Matron … perhaps we should keep it quiet at the hospital, for now at least. I wouldn’t be allowed to wear my ring at work anyway.’
‘All right, if you feel more comfortable doing it that way,’ he agreed. ‘The trouble is I’m not due a weekend off till the end of next month.’
‘That will give me plenty of time to tell my family that I’m bringing someone very special home to meet them. But I’ll bet Ivy will guess it’s you before I say a word. I think that she knew I loved you even before I did.’ She snuggled into his arms contentedly feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.
A few days later as Ivy settled down to read her latest letter from Holly, she grinned. Alice was fast asleep in the crib that Holly had slept in as a baby and Ivy glanced at her every few seconds as if to assure herself that she was still there. Already she couldn’t imagine a life without the baby in it and she absolutely adored her. It was no wonder really, for Alice was a beautiful child with the sweetest nature. She never cried unless she was hungry and Ivy could hardly bear to let her out of her sight. In fact, little Alice had everyone in the house eating out of her tiny hand. Even Holly’s grandfather had taken a shine to her and quite enjoyed a little cuddle whenever he could prise her away from her mother for a few seconds.
Ivy had read no more than two or three lines when the door burst open and Emma rushed in waving her letter in the air.
‘Have you read yours yet?’ she asked excitedly, then before Ivy could get a word in she rushed on, ‘Holly is coming home for the weekend towards the end of May and she says she’s bringing someone special with her to meet us. Whoever do you think it might be?’
Ivy grinned from ear to ear. She had a very good idea. ‘I reckon it’ll be that young Dr Parkin. He was right took with Holly, I reckon, an’ she were often mentionin’ him.’
Emma giggled. ‘Oh, how exciting. And it must be serious between them if she’s bringing him home to meet us – although she doesn’t really need to, after all, I’ve already met him. I can hardly wait.’
‘Well, she could do a lot worse,’ Ivy said. Alice stirred then and she rushed to tend to her. Good luck to Holly, Ivy thought a little later as Alice suckled contentedly. Holly was one of the most loving and giving people she knew and she deserved someone nice.
The week before they were due to travel to Nuneaton Richard visited the flat one night looking slightly sheepish.
‘I’ve, er … bought you something,’ he told her. ‘I know we said we would wait and we can but I just wanted you to have it now although you can change it if you don’t like it.’ He self-consciously pulled a small velvet box from his pocket and handed it to Holly and when she flipped it open she gasped with delight. It was a single diamond set in a gold band that caught and reflected the light and she truly thought it was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.
‘Oh, Richard, it’s perfect, but I’m afraid it must have been terribly expensive.’
He waved his hand airily. ‘Only the best for my girl. I thought we could perhaps take it with us when we visit your family and then once I’ve talked to them you could wear it and we could make it official.’
Holly’s eyes shone as she slipped it onto her finger – she couldn’t resist at least trying it on.
‘I think that’s a wonderful idea,’ she agreed, thinking how she couldn’t bear to take it off again.
Just three days before she was due to visit home Holly was in the flat one evening when someone knocked on the door. Hoping it might be Richard finishing his shift earlier than he’d expected she rushed downstairs to open it only to find Dora standing on the step.
‘Why, Dora, this is a nice surprise.’ She took her elbow and led her upstairs. ‘And what brings you out of an evening?’
‘Well, as yer know I put the word out some time ago to try an’ find anyone o’ the name o’ Farthin’ in the area. Up to now I’ve had no luck whatsoever but then one o’ me neighbours come round last night right out o’ the blue an’ said she thought she might know the person yer lookin’ for. Or his wife at least.’
‘Really!’ Holly sat down heavily. He was married? she thought, stunned. But was he married before he met her mother or afterwards?
‘The woman she thinks he were married to lives in Spitalfields now. She gave me her address, look.’ She extracted a piece of rather grubby, screwed-up paper from her pocket and handed it to Holly. ‘Now it could be yer settin’ off on a wild goose chase o’ course but I thought it were worth you checkin’ it out. The woman’s name is Belle.’
‘Thank you, Dora. It’s really kind of you. Now would you like a cup of tea?’
‘No, duckie, thanks all the same, but I’d best get back to the little ’uns. The buggers run riot of an evenin’ if I ain’t there to keep ’em in order an’ the old man’s gone to the Horse an’ Jockey for a jug of ale. G’night, luvvy, an’ good luck.’
As soon as Dora had left Holly began to pace the room. Did she really want to try and trace her father after all these years when he had abandoned both her and her mother before she had even been born? No, her heart told her, but then if her mother could be free of him she would be able to start a new life. She deserved that so the only thing to do was visit the address Dora had given her, and, she decided, there was no time like the present so despite the fact she had been working since early that morning she hastily changed her clothes and set off.
She took a tram to the outskirts of Spitalfields and was soon heading for Dock Street. The area was in the heart of the East End and Holly was appalled at the poverty there. Once it had housed wealthy silk merchants but they had long since gone and now all manner of humanity lived there, mainly immigrants of every nationality. The once beautiful houses were divided into rooms, some of which housed whole families of ten or twelve people, and painfully thin, ragged children played in the gutters, their eyes dull and lacklustre.
By the time Holly arrived at the right place her heart was hammering so loudly that she was afraid anyone standing close might hear it, but she had come this far and she wasn’t going to be put off. This address was part of a small row of terraced cottages, which looked strangely out of place amongst the once grander houses and she noted that it looked very clean and tidy compared to all of its neighbours. Before she could change her mind she rapped on the door and seconds later she heard footsteps pottering towards it. She found herself face to face with a woman who looked to be several years older than her mother, and noting Holly’s neat appearance she smiled at her.
‘H-hello …’ Holly swallowed nervously before rushing on. ‘Is your name Belle?’
‘Yes, that’s me,’ the woman answered pleasantly. ‘Can I help you?’
She was plainly dressed but clean with a large apron covering her skirt. Her hair was tied back into a neat bun and she had blue eyes that looked kind.
‘I, er … wondered if I might speak to you about a rather delicate matter?’
The woman raised an eyebrow but held the door wide for Holly to step past her. ‘Excuse the mess,’ the woman said. ‘I was just in the middle of baking but do come in and sit down.’
As Holly perched uncomfortably on the edge of the nearest chair she saw that the room, like the woman, was plainly furnished but very neat and tidy apart from the lump of dough on the table that she had been in the process of kneading.
‘I’ll just get these into the tins and put them on the hearth to rise then I’ll be with you,’ the woman said and soon she joined her and looked at her questioningly.
‘The thing is,’ Holly began cautiously, ‘before I was born my mother eloped with a man and married him but then when he found out that she was having me he left her with no money. She has never seen him since. She returned to my grandfather’s home in the Midlands and I lived there all my life until I came to London to nurse. I worked in a dress shop for a time when I first arrived and one of the seamstresses there gave me your address. She’s been trying to help me trace my father and thought you might be able to help me?’
The woman looked slightly bemused. ‘Really? How could I do that?’
‘Well, my father went by the surname of Farthing—’
She stopped abruptly as she saw the woman’s face drain of all colour. ‘W-was his first name Michael?’
When Holly nodded, she sighed. ‘In that case I think you’ve come to the right place,’ she said quietly. ‘And I’m afraid I have some rather bad news for you.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes … you see, I was married to him too. His real name is Garrett but he left me for another woman with five children to bring up on my own. That woman was possibly your mother and I learned that he was going by the name of Farthing then. Of course, I attach no blame to your mother whatsoever, she could have had no idea what a cad he was. But do you realise what this means?’
Holly stared at her blankly.
‘It means,’ the woman went on gently, ‘that your mother was never legally married to him … He is still married to me, you see? If he’s still alive that is.’
Shock coursed through Holly as she tried to digest what the woman was telling her. If what she was saying was true it meant that she herself was illegitimate. But it also meant that her mother was now free to move on with her life. There would be no need for divorce, for she had never been married in the first place.
‘I … I see,’ she stammered.
Seeing how shaken the young woman was, Belle Garrett hurriedly rose from her seat and went to fill the kettle at the sink. ‘I think what we need is a good strong cup of tea,’ she said kindly and all Holly could do was nod numbly.
Minutes later she was back with a tray and Holly wordlessly accepted the dainty cup and saucer the woman handed to her.
‘Get that down you, it’s good for shock,’ Belle urged and Holly took a great gulp from the cup almost scalding her mouth.
‘You mustn’t feel badly about this.’ The woman’s voice was gentle. ‘None of this was your fault and I can understand why your mother fell in love with him. Michael Garrett had the gift of the gab. He could have charmed the birds from the trees and I fell madly in love with him. I knew almost from day one that he wasn’t the man he made himself out to be but love is blind. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth if he’d asked me to.’ She sighed as memories rushed back. ‘I was with him for five years before he left me, and it took me another five to get over him and accept that he wasn’t coming back.’ She shook her head.
‘I had five children by then and somehow I had to try and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. I was in a bit of a mess emotionally, which is probably why I was so vulnerable. Right from the day they met him my parents didn’t take to him and made it clear that they would never accept him, but I wouldn’t hear a word said against him so in the end we ran away.’ She blushed prettily then. ‘We lived together for a time and then when I discovered I was having my second baby he finally made an honest woman of me but my parents had already disowned me.’ She smiled. ‘Even so my firstborn, Richard, has done really well for himself, and the youngest has just left school so they’re all in work now,’ she told her proudly. ‘Richard’s just qualified as a surgeon and works at University College Hospital. Didn’t you say you were a nurse? You might know him.’
Holly suddenly felt as if she was caught in the grip of a nightmare and she started to sweat as she asked unsteadily, ‘Is his name Richard Parkin?’
‘Yes, that’s him.’
If, as his mother had told her, she and her father had lived together before getting married that would explain why Richard had a different surname. Parkin must have been Mrs Garrett’s maiden name. It also meant … that Richard was her half-brother! They both had the same father!
She swayed in her chair and felt sweat break out on her forehead.
‘Oh my dear, are you all right?’ Mrs Garrett asked anxiously as Holly dragged herself to her feet.
‘Yes … thank you, and thank you for your time. You’ve been most helpful but I really must go now.’ And as the poor woman looked on with concern, Holly staggered towards the door and lifting her skirt she ran as fast as her shaking legs would allow her to. She had no idea if she was even running in the right direction. She just knew that she had to get away. But no matter how fast she ran the awful truth followed. Richard is my brother, Richard is my brother. The words played over and over in her head like a mantra as tears streamed down her cheeks, but still she kept running and she didn’t stop until a painful stitch in her side forced her to lean breathlessly against a dirty warehouse wall. She was on the docks and as she stared down into the flotsam on the sluggishly flowing water she had the urge to throw herself in and sink beneath it. At least then she would escape this awful pain in her heart.
Eventually she dragged herself away from the wall and made her way home on legs that felt as if they had turned to lead. Only hours ago her future had looked rosy. Now she had discovered that not only was she illegitimate, but that she was about to become engaged to her own brother. The wonderful life she had planned with Richard had gone in the blink of an eye. How was she to tell him? And how could she live without him?