As Holly turned the corner into Cavendish Street she groaned when she saw Richard standing outside the door of the flat, looking anxiously up at the window. She had forgotten that he was coming around this evening. But then she supposed it wasn’t a bad thing. He would have to know sooner or later that they couldn’t marry so she may as well get it over with. But what she wouldn’t do was let him know about their relationship to each other. That would feel like a betrayal to his mother and Holly felt that the poor woman had gone through enough.
‘Ah, here you are.’ He smiled and hurried to greet her, but she ignored his outstretched arms and inserted the key in the lock.
‘You’d better come up,’ she said dully. ‘I need to speak to you.’
He looked at her reddened eyes and frowned but followed without making a comment. It was obvious that something had upset her deeply.
When she reached the top of the stairs she marched straight into the little sitting room and turned to face him. He looked so handsome standing there that she almost faltered but then with a supreme effort she hardened her heart.
‘I’m afraid I have something to tell you.’ She paused to lick her dry lips but went doggedly on. ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’ve decided …’ Her resolve wavered for a second. ‘I’ve decided that things are happening too fast.’
He scowled, looking confused. ‘What do you mean? What things?’
‘I mean us … I think we’re too young to rush into marriage. We’ve both worked really hard to get where we are in our careers and I’ve decided I want to concentrate on that for a few more years before I even think of settling down.’
She saw the stricken look on his face and hated herself, but hardening her heart she went to the drawer and withdrew the box containing the diamond ring he had given her. ‘I think you should give this to a girl who will be prepared to love you as you deserve to be loved.’ She held the box out to him.
‘But I … I don’t understand,’ he faltered. ‘I thought you loved me.’
It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do but she stared back at him coldly. ‘I thought I did too but then I realised we would be making a mistake.’
He stared at her for what seemed an eternity as if he didn’t know her any more then slowly shook his head as he stared at the ring she was holding out to him. It had been meant to be a symbol of their love but now here she was calmly telling him that it meant nothing.
‘Keep it,’ he said in a husky voice. ‘You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved enough to give a ring to. I won’t be needing it.’ Turning abruptly he clattered away down the stairs slamming the door resoundingly behind him. Crumpling to her knees, Holly sobbed as if her heart would break.
Holly didn’t go to work the next morning. She knew she wouldn’t be able to bear it if she bumped into Richard and there were things she needed to do. She had lain awake all night with her mind whirling, but today she was calm.
As soon as the shop was open she went downstairs and asked Miss May if she might use the telephone.
‘Why, of course you can, dear. But is everything all right? You don’t look well,’ the kindly woman said with concern.
‘I’m fine but I need to ring my mother and go home for a few days.’
‘Then I’ll leave you to make your call in private.’ Miss May pottered away as Holly lifted the phone and the operator put her through to the house in Nuneaton.
‘Hello.’
At the sound of her mother’s voice, Holly had to stop herself from bursting into tears again. ‘It’s me,’ she said quietly. ‘I was thinking of coming home for a few days today. Is that all right?’
‘Holly, you should know you don’t even have to ask, this is your home and your bedroom is always ready for you,’ her mother scolded gently. ‘But are you all right, sweetheart? You don’t sound right.’
Holly almost laughed. She didn’t sound right! Well she wasn’t right. She would never be right again but her voice was level when she answered, ‘I’m fine, but there’s something I need to speak to you about so I’ll see you later. I’m going to get the first train out of Euston.’
‘All right, darling, I can’t wait to see you. Have a safe journey.’
She then rang the hospital to tell them that she wouldn’t be coming in as she was sick, and half an hour later with a small bag she had packed with a few necessities, Holly was on her way. Once on the train she huddled in a corner of the carriage and stared fixedly from the window hoping no one would try to include her in a conversation. She didn’t feel like talking; didn’t feel like doing anything if it came to that, all she wanted was to be home.
Her mother was hovering in the hallway waiting for her when she got there and Ivy was close behind her with Alice wrapped in a pretty white shawl in her arms.
She allowed them to greet her then commented, ‘Alice has grown, Ivy.’
‘I know.’ Ivy stared down at her little daughter. ‘She seems to get bigger every day and she’s such a little angel.’
Cook came bustling out of the kitchen then, all smiles. ‘Here you are, an’ just in time. I’ve made yer one o’ yer favourite dinners.’
Holly didn’t feel a bit like eating but she managed to raise a smile and told her, ‘Thank you, I’m sure it will be lovely.’
‘So now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?’ Her mother helped her off with her coat. ‘It must be something important for you to miss work and come all this way.’
‘It is and I hope you’ll think it’s good news.’
‘Ooh, is it something about that lovely doctor you’re bringing home to meet us?’ Emma asked excitedly.
Once again, Holly felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach. ‘No,’ she said flatly. ‘He won’t be coming now.’
‘But why ever not?’
‘I’ll tell you about that later but first there’s something else you need to know.’
Emma’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘You’re not having a baby, are you?’
‘Of course I’m not,’ Holly snapped with an apologetic glance at Ivy. Ivy took the hint and disappeared as Emma led Holly into the drawing room. Her grandfather was there and actually looked pleased to see her.
‘Why, this is a surprise.’
‘Yes, I, er … have something I need to speak to Mother about.’
He put aside his newspaper and made to rise but Holly laid her hand on his arm and told him, ‘No, please stay, Grandfather. This is something you need to hear too.’
Equally as intrigued as her mother he dropped back into the chair. Her mother sat beside him and Holly stood in front of the fireplace wondering where she should begin.
‘As you both know, I wasn’t aware that my father was alive until shortly before I left for London,’ she began in a shaky voice. ‘Mother told me that she knew he was from Whitechapel originally so I got one of the women who worked for Miss May to put the word around to see if I could find him.’
Emma had gone quite pale.
‘Anyway, last night when I got home from work Dora was waiting for me and she gave me the address of a lady in Spitalfields who she thought might be connected to him. So I set off to see her and sure enough she did know him. In fact he was married to her before he married Mother. He left her with five children when he met Mother but the thing is … Well, from what she told me, your marriage was illegal because if he’s alive he is still very much married to her. They never got divorced.’
‘Oh my goodness!’ her mother gasped.
Emma smiled at her. ‘But surely you realise that this is a good thing for you? Don’t you see? You’re free now to get on with the rest of your life. With Mr Dolby if that’s what you want.’ She smiled ruefully as her mother blushed prettily. ‘I’ve noticed how close you’ve become on my last couple of visits,’ she admitted. ‘And now there is nothing to stand in your way. The more I’ve got to see of him the more I’ve realised he is in fact a very kind, gentle man. The only downside to this discovery is that I now find I am actually illegitimate.’
She waited for her grandfather to rant and rave as he would have in the past. He had made no comment up to now so he shocked her when he said, ‘If that is the case it is not your fault, nor your mother’s,’ he added hastily. ‘The man was a trickster, a con man but it’s all in the past now. Looking back I realise I behaved very badly to you both. I wanted your mother to make a good marriage and when she chose your father I couldn’t accept it and I almost lost her. Even when she came home to have you I held you both at arm’s length. I think I was still grieving for my wife, but that’s no excuse. Now I just want to see both of you happy so all I can say is, I’m sorry.’ He did something then that Holly could never remember him doing before. He stood and took her in his arms and she sobbed on his shoulder.
‘And what about your, er … friend?’ Emma questioned and got a scowl from her father.
‘It’s obvious Holly doesn’t want to talk about that so let’s just leave it for now, and she can tell us if and when she’s ready, eh? We’ve got enough to take in today with what’s she’s just told us.’
Ivy tapped at the door then and bustled in with a tray of coffee, looking concerned. She could tell that something was wrong but knew that Holly would tell her when the time was right. They had never kept secrets from each other. ‘Cook says to tell you dinner will be ready in about half an hour,’ she informed them and quietly went away.
Holly’s grandfather left the room shortly after and Emma shook her head. What Holly had told her was just beginning to sink in now.
‘I was such a fool to be taken in by him,’ she muttered with a shake of her head. ‘But I don’t regret it. If I had never met him I wouldn’t have had you and you’re the most precious thing in my life.’
Holly smiled. ‘Every cloud has a silver lining, that’s what you always used to tell me when I was a little girl.’ But she wondered now if the saying was true. All she could see on her horizon at the moment were dark storm clouds. She left to take her bag to her room, leaving her mother to think of the implications of what she had told her.
Emma had known for some time that she had feelings for Walter and she suspected that they were reciprocated but being the gentleman he was he had never spoken of it. Would he now, when she told him her news? she wondered. She would have to wait and see but she hoped he would.
It was later that evening when Holly addressed the second reason she had come home.
‘I was wondering if I might come back here to live?’ she said as they all sat together in the drawing room. It was a beautiful summer evening and the lace curtains were dancing gently in the soft breeze that came through the open windows. ‘I thought I could carry on my nursing training at the cottage hospital. I’ve almost finished it now.’
‘But of course you can,’ Emma assured her quickly. ‘But why this sudden turnabout? I thought you were really happy living in London.’
‘I was but it isn’t the same without Ivy.’ Holly thought this sounded as good an excuse as any. She could never tell her mother the real reason; that she had fallen in love with her own brother. His ring was suspended on the chain holding the locket he had bought her about her neck. She would never wear it on her finger now but she could wear it close to her heart for always.
‘Then you must come home just as soon as you like,’ Emma responded and with a nod Holly stared into the empty grate.