Some other newly arrived nurses were also in the tent when they finally found it, along with a sister in a navy-blue uniform with a starched white cap, although she looked rather grimy to say the least.
‘Names?’
‘Farthing and Dewis, Sister.’
‘Ah yes, here you are.’ She ticked their names off the list in front of her before telling them, ‘I’m Sister Flynn, and you two are to come to the hospital with me now. The rest of you, get settled in, have something to eat and I shall return for you shortly.’
They followed her silently along what felt like miles of muddy duckboards, then turning a corner they saw an enormous tent ahead of them. This, they rightly guessed, must be the hospital.
As they followed her inside they both suddenly felt as if they had been transported into hell. Rows and rows of beds stretched down either side of the tent and in each one were men with wounds of varying degrees of severity. Some of them were rambling and crying like babies, others lay still, their faces deathly white, their eyes dead. Nurses were flitting about carrying bloodied bandages and bedpans, looking exhausted themselves.
‘You two.’ The sister signalled to the two nearest nurses. ‘Get yourselves off for some rest now. You’ve both just done fourteen-hour shifts. Report back for duty at six o’clock in the morning.’
The nurses nodded, only too keen to do as they were told. ‘Now, you two.’ Sister Flynn turned her attention back to Holly and Angela. ‘You will each be in charge of the beds on one side of the ward. Do whatever you can to make the patients as comfortable as possible and report to me immediately if you have any concerns. They will all need a bed bath and possibly bedpans. I will advise you on what medication each of them needs later in the day. The sluice is through that canvas there. You’ll find it somewhat primitive compared to what you’ve been used to at home but as you’ll soon discover, out here we can only do the best we can with the facilities available to us. ‘She pointed to a flap in the wall. ‘You’ll find all the patients’ notes on the end of their beds. Now run along.’
The girls instantly separated, Holly to the right, Angela to the left. Neither of them quite sure what they should be doing.
The first patient Holly came to was a very young man with a cage covering his bottom half. His eyes were closed and sweat stood out on his brow. She quickly read his notes and discovered that he had trodden on a landmine which had resulted in him having to have the whole of one leg amputated and half of the other one below his knee. He was marked urgent which meant that he would be sent back to a hospital in England on the first hospital ship that had a bunk available, if he survived that long. He had developed an infection and was now seriously ill and Holly’s heart went out to him. He was so young but even if he did survive she wondered what sort of future was in store for him now? He would never be able to run or dance again and it seemed such a pointless waste. Even now the distant sound of gunshots could clearly be heard and she wondered if there was ever any respite from it. With a sigh she quickly went to find the trolley containing everything she would need to bath him. It was only when she was about to begin that she realised there were no curtains about the bed. There was clearly no room for modesty here so she washed him as quickly and gently as she could and throughout it all he didn’t even open his eyes. Slowly she worked her way along the row, offering bedpans and comfort where she could.
‘This must be what it’s like in a bloody slaughterhouse,’ Angela whispered to her when they both finally reached the end of the rows. ‘And that constant noise in the background is giving me a headache. What must it be like for those fighting on the front? It’s a wonder the noise doesn’t deafen them.’
‘If you think this is bad now just wait till it gets dark and everything goes quiet,’ a nurse who had been working with them said in the sluice room, which stunk to high heaven. It was actually nothing more than rows of buckets that they emptied the bedpans into until someone had time to empty them into a cesspit. The bedpans were then rinsed out under a single cold-water tap. ‘At the end of each day the stretcher-bearers go out onto the field to bring in the dead and injured and that’s when the work really starts. The doctors usually end up working through the night operating on those who are still alive, poor sods.’
Angela shuddered at the picture she was conjuring up. ‘And what happens to the dead?’
‘The lucky ones are transported to a graveyard where their resting place is marked with a simple wooden cross bearing their name. If there are too many of them they have to go into a communal grave. Obviously the corpses can’t be kept for too long, although it’s not so bad at this time of year when it’s cold. But in the summer it’s awful and the rats have a feast.’
Angela’s face was bleached of colour again so Holly asked quickly. ‘And do we ever get any time off?’
The nurse grinned ruefully. ‘Now and again but not very often. The last time we got a night off me and some of the other nurses went to a dance in the nearest French village hall but the trouble was none of us could speak much French so it wasn’t too successful.’
‘I can speak French.’
Angela stared at Holly. ‘You never told me that!’
‘Well, you never asked me. I had a private tutor for many years, who refused to speak to me in anything but French as a way of making sure I learned to speak it fluently. But come on, we’d better get back onto the ward and see what sister wants us to do next. We don’t want to get into her bad books on our first day.’ They all trooped back and soon they were busy administering tablets and medication under the sister’s supervision.
It was early evening and pitch-black when Holly suddenly noticed the silence save for the moans of the patients.
‘That’s it for another day by the sounds of it,’ the nurse they had spoken to earlier, who introduced herself as Laura, said. ‘Give it another half an hour and you won’t know if you’re on your arse or your elbow we’ll be that busy.’ She wiped her hands down her blood-smeared apron and hurried away to fetch a bowl for one of the patients who was hanging over the side of the bed being violently sick.
Looking around, Holly noticed that the young man she had bathed earlier was crying out so, rushing across to him, she gripped his hand and gently stroked the damp hair back from his brow. His eyes were open but she could see that he was very feverish.
‘Tell me … mam … that I’m sorry,’ he appealed. ‘She didn’t want … me to join up but I thought I … knew best an’ I wanted her to be proud o’ me.’
‘I’m sure she is but just rest now and save your strength,’ Holly soothed but his head moved from side to side. Realising that he was in a bad way she ran to find the sister who came back to the bed with her and took his pulse. She drew Holly slightly away from the bed and whispered, ‘Poor soul won’t last the night. Will you sit with him? I hate to think of any of the patients dying without someone by their side. Just offer what comfort you can.’
‘Of course.’ Holly went to find a chair and after placing it at the side of his bed she gently took his hand.
He turned his head to her to ask, ‘Will you write a letter … for me. To me girl? And see that she gets it?’
‘Of course I will.’ Holly had a lump the size of an egg in her throat as she went off in search of pen and paper, which the sister supplied her with.
‘Right, what would you like me to write?’ she asked.
He licked his lips, and began haltingly:
Dear Jeannie,
I just want you to know that after I met you I always knew that you were the girl for me. Remember how we used to talk about the children we would have one day? Two boys and two girls? And the little cottage in the country we were going to buy? Sadly I don’t think that will happen now. I’ve lost me legs and even if I come home I wouldn’t want you to be tied to a cripple for the rest of your life. So what I want you to do now is put away the ring I gave you and when the war is over settle down with someone who will love you as much as I do. Please go and see me mam and tell her that I love her, and me brothers and sisters, and never forget that I love you with all me heart. You were the best thing that ever happened to me so be happy, sweetheart, and have a good life,
All my love forever, Tom xxx
By the time the letter was finished tears were rolling down Holly’s cheeks. What was left of his legs was clearly terribly infected and Holly was experienced enough to realise that the sister was right, there was little hope for him now. She lay his letter aside and after drying her tears she asked him cheerfully, ‘So, what is your Jeannie like then? Is she pretty?’
A smile instantly lit his pallid face. ‘Oh yes, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her hair … is like a coppery colour … and her eyes … are the colour of bluebells …’ His breath was laboured but even so, talking about his fiancée had clearly cheered him. ‘She comes up to just below me shoulder … or at least she did … till I lost me legs … and she’s kind … so kind …’ His eyes gently closed but Holly sat on holding his hand and watching his chest rise and fall erratically, while all around her the ward was in mayhem. Just as Laura had predicted, stretcher-bearers were bringing in the wounded from the battlefield now, passing through the ward she was on to others beyond where the weary surgeons were waiting to assess who needed to go to theatre first.
At some point Angela came to find her. ‘Sister says we can go now. There are some more nurses here ready to take over.’
Holly shook her head. ‘You go on. I’m staying with Tom here for a while longer.’
‘But it’s gone nine o’clock.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Holly said stubbornly, so with a shrug of her shoulders Angela went off to try and find the mess in the dark for a hot drink and something to eat before she went to bed.
It was just after midnight and Holly was desperately trying to keep herself awake when she suddenly became aware that Tom’s grip on her hand had weakened, and as she glanced at his face she saw that his eyes were staring and there was a smile on his face. Sister Flynn, who was just going off duty herself after a very long day, paused at the end of the bed.
‘I … I think he’s gone,’ Holly said sadly.
The woman nodded. ‘Yes he has, but hopefully thanks to you he went thinking happy thoughts. Look how peaceful he is now and the smile on his face. Close his eyes, nurse, and I’ll get someone to take him out to the morgue. Leave the letter at the nurses’ station and I’ll make sure it’s forwarded on to his loved one in the morning.’
She patted Holly’s shoulder. ‘Well done, Farthing. I can see you’re going to be an asset. Now go and get some rest.’
Holly nodded and left feeling heartsore at such a pointless waste of life.
‘It’s hard to believe it will be Christmas Day tomorrow, isn’t it?’ Angela said wistfully as they were getting dressed ready to go on duty on Christmas Eve morning. ‘My mum will be getting everything ready before all the family go around tomorrow.’ They had both taken it in turns washing in icy-cold water behind the screen to one side of the tent.
‘I know what you mean,’ Holly admitted. ‘I think my family will all be having dinner at my grandfather’s house. There’ll be a big turkey with Cook’s home-made stuffing and crispy roast potatoes and—’
‘Oh, please don’t say any more,’ Angela groaned. ‘You’re making my mouth water!’
Holly giggled. ‘Well at least we have a chicken dinner to look forward to. One of the Frenchmen in town who owns a smallholding gave some chickens to the cook. I’ve seen him here a few times talking to one or another of the officers although I have no idea what they could be discussing. But anyway, we’d best be going. Sister won’t like it if we’re late reporting for duty.’
‘I wonder sometimes if that woman is even human.’ Angela pulled her cloak across her shoulders. It was bitterly cold outside and it wasn’t much better in the tent. Some of the other nurses were sleeping, having come off night duty, so the girls slipped out of the tent as quietly as they could and set off across the duckboards. There had been a sharp frost during the night and now the mud beneath their feet was treacherously slippery.
‘It’s a wonder one of us doesn’t end up in hospital ourselves,’ Angela grumbled but then she spotted Harry and Richard heading towards them from the doctors’ quarters and she instantly brightened. Holly, on the other hand, felt uncomfortable. It was the first time they had seen either of them since they had arrived and she’d been hoping it would stay that way.
Harry’s eyes instantly settled on Holly and he smiled as he quickened his steps. Angela meanwhile was batting her eyelashes at Richard, although he showed no reaction whatsoever.
‘Ah, here you are.’ Harry seemed so genuinely pleased to see her that Holly cringed, especially as she was aware that Richard was watching them closely. ‘I was wondering when I was going to see you. We’ve been so busy in theatre that we’ve had no time for anything but catching a nap here and there. We’ve been told that a truce has been called for tomorrow, though, so perhaps we could have dinner together in the mess?’
‘I er … don’t know what Sister’s got planned for me,’ Holly hedged uncomfortably.
‘Well, apart from the ward rounds there won’t be any casualties brought in tomorrow so I’m happy to wait until you’re free,’ Harry told her persistently. She could feel Richard’s eyes boring into her and felt the colour rise in her cheeks.
‘I’ll let you know when Sister’s told us what hours we’ll be working,’ she answered then scuttled away like a frightened deer.
‘Here, what did you have to shoot off like that for?’ Angela said crossly when they were out of earshot.
Embarrassed, Holly shrugged and hurried towards the ward.
The casualties brought in from the field at the end of the previous day had been particularly high so it was late evening before Holly finally made it to the mess to grab something to eat. Angela had been assigned to another ward so she hadn’t seen her all day and there was no sign of her now. However, Holly’s heart sank when she saw Richard sitting alone at a table. Deciding to pretend that she hadn’t seen him, she went to the counter where cold food had been laid out for them and loaded some sandwiches and a hot drink onto a tray. She’d intended to creep to one side of the room but she had carried her meal no more than a few steps when Richard’s voice halted her.
‘Won’t you join me?’
She gulped before forcing a weak smile. ‘Oh yes … yes, of course. I didn’t see you there,’ she lied as she reluctantly placed her tray down on his table.
She sipped at her drink as silence settled between them until he eventually asked, ‘So, how have you been?’
She was suddenly aware of the mess she must look. Some of her hair had slipped from beneath her cap and her apron was bloodstained. ‘As well as could be expected, I suppose. Although I think I’d give anything to wash my hair and have a hot bath. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel clean.’ She was painfully aware of the ring she wore on a chain close to her heart and wondered what Richard would think if he could see it. ‘But how are you doing?’ They were behaving like polite strangers and anyone seeing them would never have guessed that they had once meant the world to each other.
‘About the same as you.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘It’s like working in a slaughterhouse. I lost two young men on the operating table tonight. Some Christmas it’s going to be for their families when they receive their telegram.’
She nodded in agreement. At least they were on safe ground while they didn’t discuss their personal lives. She noticed that he had finished his meal but now the sandwiches she had chosen tasted like sawdust and she was having problems swallowing them.
‘Harry tells me you’re having Christmas dinner in here with him tomorrow.’
‘I … didn’t say that exactly,’ she answered, almost choking on a mouthful of tea.
‘Well, he seems to think you are. In fact he’s more than a little fond of you,’ he said and she thought she detected a touch of sarcasm in his voice. But then why wouldn’t he be angry with her? she reasoned. They had thought they would be spending the rest of their lives together until she’d dropped him like a hot brick. She could think of nothing to say and after a few more minutes he pushed his chair back and rose from the table.
‘I’ll wish you goodnight then. Have a good Christmas, Holly … or at least as good as you can out here.’ Then he was gone and as she watched him stride away her heart broke afresh and she had to blink rapidly to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.