‘I think the very sight of them brings the game into disrepute.’

His opinion of directors 1973

‘Football attracts a certain percentage of nobodies who want to be somebodies at a club.’ 1995

‘Running a football club gets their photograph on the back pages of newspapers – nowt else would.’

His theory on why people want to become football directors 1983

‘They only know where to find the free drink and the free food. If we win, it’s: “Oh Brian, lovely to see you.” If we lose, it’s what a bastard the manager is and lots of muttering behind closed doors.’ 1993

‘In the days when I had to go for interviews for jobs I was asked questions (by directors) who had no idea of the answers. How can you ascertain the correct answer to something when you know bugger all yourself?’ 1990

‘An ICI foreman was almost certainly once on the shop floor; a bus inspector once drove a bus. But how many FA officials and club directors have ever been footballers?’ 1972

‘On occasions he’s been known to dress like a Christmas tree. But he doesn’t only sing better than the other 91 chairmen, he also talks more sense than 95 per cent of them.’

On Elton John, then chairman of Watford 1984

‘There’s a seven-man board at Derby, and I wouldn’t give you tuppence for five of them.’ 1973

‘Now listen, we’re relaxing. So either have a glass of wine or bugger off so we can carry on conserving our nervous energy.’

To a Derby director, who asked whether players drinking before a European Cup tie was the best way to prepare 1973

‘He brought in a rule that directors at Derby had to retire at 65. But when the old bastard got to 65 himself, he changed it.’

On Sam Longson 1977

‘Even when they sack you, don’t go anywhere. Let the bastards go first.’ 1990